Shannon's Journal

[Ballet Teacher]

About Me:
I am 27 years old and live in Toronto, Canada. I am getting married to my boyfriend of 7 years in August. I am a Royal Academy of Dance ballet teacher, and trained intensively at professional schools... which helped in developing an eating disorder which I am currently recovering from. I have been eating disordered for over 10 years. Last year was one of my lowest points with the ED. I was doing cardio every day, often up to 3 or 4 hours a day. I would sometimes restrict very low and often I would binge and purge. I got some help and I am now trying hard to be fit and healthy.

I have done weight lifting on and off over the last 5 years and have always been very impressed with the results I have gotten however I would always end up burning out which I guess was a result of very poor nutrition.

Goals:
1. Look radiant on my wedding day!
2. Maintain a clean diet and improve it as I get used to eating this way.
3. Decrease measurements in my lower body. I have lots of muscle... but lots of fat as well. I would LOVE 19 inch thighs...
4. I would LOVE to build my delts up... I love strong shoulders!
5. Get my flexibilty back to where it was when I was dancing.
6. Decrease bodyfat (currently around 20% or slightly higher)
7. Increase my knowledge of bodybuilding
8. Stop drinking diet coke daily (At my worst I was at 7-11 cans/ day)
9. Start taking Yoga again (might be on hold until June)

Stats:
Height: 5'8''
Weight:130/ 134
Bodyfat: 20%/22% (was 16.5%)
Bust: 33
Waist: 25/26
Hips: 34
Butt: 37/38 (was 35)
Thigh: 21.5 (was 19.5)
Calf: 14
Bicep: 9.5

[Ballet Teacher]

Routine
Monday:
Squats
SLDL
Seated Leg Curls
Seated Leg Ext.
Seated Leg Press

Tuesdays:
Bench Press
Incline Press
Pec Fly
Pushdowns (tris)
Overhead Ext (tris)
HIIT

Wednesdays:
Long Cardio/ Abs

Thursdays:
Pulldown
Seated Row
Dumbell Rows
Barbell Curl
Hammer Curls

Fridays:
Shoulder Press Machine
Dumbell Press
Lateral Raises
Rear Laterals
HIIT

Saturday:
Long Cardio/ ABs

Sunday
Rest/ long walk with dog

I am totally open to changes! I posted this on the training board but didn't get much input.

Monday April 4th

INTAKE
8:30 = .5 cup oatmeal/ .5 cup cottage cheese ( 2 EFA sups)
12:00 = 4 ryvita w nat PB, .5 cup carrots
2:30 = pria bar
4:00 = can tuna, .5 tbsp mayo, 1 walnut
4-6:30 = teach ballet
6:30 = apple
7:00 = Legs
8:30 = 8oz ground turkey, 2 ww wrap

Total: 1476cals
Fat: 46g 29%
Carbs: 137g 35%
Protein: 129g 36%

I didn't realize how much the peanut butter would up my fat. My protein is lower than usual. Usually I have 160grams. Today was a very bad day because I was unprepared... I had to make my dinner bigger so my cals wouldn't be too low.


WORKOUT
Squats: 18x20lbs, 12x40lbs, 8x50lbs*
Leg Curl: 12x60lbs, 8x75lbs, 8x90lbs
Leg Ext: 3x10x60lbs
Leg Press: 3x10x135lbs

*Just holding the 50lbs was 100x harder than the squats. I use dumbells. Should I do more with less weight? 40lbs was OK, but at 12 reps it wasn't that hard. My thighs are almost parrallel to the ground - I have short achilles which makes a deep square more difficult.

[someday]

impressive resume there miss ballet teacher!

as for your question, i would suggest trying to use a bar vs. dbs. i bet you can handle doing more weight. if you want those 19" thighs i would suggest you go heavier and use the 6-10 rep range. i think you'll get better results. i am a former dancer (not one graceful enough to stand on stage with you) and lifting has taken away much of my flexibility, but i am sure if i took more time to stretch it would still be possible to regain what i have lost. your workout look ok, but i don't see any triceps in there anywhere....just food for thought. as far i diet, i would hope you are getting help from a nutritionist.

i wish you the best with all of your goals and i'm sure you'll be a beautiful bride!

[Ballet Teacher]

Thanks Someday! Yeah my first response!!!

I am definitly up for lifting heavier. I really enjoy the challenge of it... I am just going to have to get over my fear of pushing the barbell. I just feel so conspicuous. For triceps I am doing pushdowns (with the lat machine) and the one armed overhead extensions.

Actually one of the positive things about retiring from dancing is that I don't have to worry about losing flexibility! I would of course like to get it back to where is was... which should take a month, but if it takes longer no biggy.


Question = Would doing legs two times a week be too much? Could I do them again on Saturday?

[terracotta]

Thanks Someday! Yeah my first response!!!

I am definitly up for lifting heavier. I really enjoy the challenge of it... I am just going to have to get over my fear of pushing the barbell. I just feel so conspicuous. For triceps I am doing pushdowns (with the lat machine) and the one armed overhead extensions.

Actually one of the positive things about retiring from dancing is that I don't have to worry about losing flexibility! I would of course like to get it back to where is was... which should take a month, but if it takes longer no biggy.


Question = Would doing legs two times a week be too much? Could I do them again on Saturday?

If you drop your reps to the 6-10 range (which is a good idea) then once a week will be plenty for legs. If your workout is intense you will need the time to heal.

And I would also recommend getting a barbell.

[someday]

right now i doing legs twice a week, but i do quads one day and hamstrings the other and i make sure they are at least 4 days apart. like terra said you need to give your legs time to rest and recover. there is no reason to fear the bar! lol when you start to feel conspicuous just know that everyone is worried about the way they look.....not you! must have been reading quickly and missed your triceps in there with chest. looks good....stay focused and you will achive all of your goals!

[MsJewels]

Another Canadian! Welcome! :)

I love ballet, and used to dance a bit myself, but only dabbled in ballet. It's such a beautiful art form.

Good luck w/ the new workouts - You'll find wonderful friends and support on these forums.

[Ballet Teacher]

It is going to be super busy for me up until June 4th, but I am really hoping to keep this journal up. The past two days have been 12 hour ones. I am going to have to be diligent about planning my meals from now on. I think I have to have a standard Mon-Thurs menu that doesn't change so that I don't have to think about it. I am away from home from 7am and usually get home around 8pm. This wouldn't be so bad but because I work at different locations throughout the day I am travelling and can't just leave a meal in a fridge. If anyone has any ideas I would love to hear them!! Last week my protein was always no lower than 160 but this week I am really struggling with it. I think it is because I had hardboiled eggs and chicken breasts in the fridge last week. I will prepare better next week!

Tuesday April 5th

I had an incident with peanut butter... I clearly am not ready to have a container of PB in the house. I didn't write down my meals but here is my fitday info.

Intake
Oatmeal
Cheese, cottage, lowfat
Power Bar -Harvest
Turkey - lean ground
Wrap - WW small
Ryvita - Fibre
Peanut Butter - natural chunky
Egg, whole, cooked, hard-boiled
Egg, white only, raw

Totals 1751cals 63F* 164C 136P
*due to a peanut butter incident

Workout
Seated Chest Press
Incline Chest Press
Pec Flys
Overhead Ext (tris)
*no bench press today... too self-conscious...
All of these were done in the 6-8 range. Usually by the last rep I was almost grunting and could hardly complete the movement. (I think this is good?!)


Wednesday April 6th

Intake
Meal 1 = BioProtein Bar
Meal 2 = 4 Ryvita crackers with PB
Meal 3 = Cottage Cheese .5, Oatmeal 33g
Meal 4 = supposed to have an apple but someone stole it!
Meal 5 = Ground Turkey, ww wrap, oatmeal 33g

Total: 1405cals
Fat: 41 372 27%
Carbs: 167 633 46%
Protein: 92 370 27%

Rest day!


I am wondering what type of results I might expect after 5 months of lifting heavy and cleaning up my diet. My nutrition WILL get better. Right now it is already a HUGE improvement from a month ago when I was living off of diet coke, breads and chocolate.

__________________________________________________ ________

Terra and Someday thanks for the advice. I will just stick to once a week to keep it simple. I *know* I shouldn't fear that darn barbell... I am a very self-conscious person... I guess I just need to get over that!!!

MsJewels - thanks for posting! I really am impressed with how great these boards are... I have already recieved so much advice and encouragment.

[terracotta]

Workout
Seated Chest Press
Incline Chest Press
Pec Flys
Overhead Ext (tris)
*no bench press today... too self-conscious...
All of these were done in the 6-8 range. Usually by the last rep I was almost grunting and could hardly complete the movement. (I think this is good?!)




you can do the bench press with dumbbells if you like. And you can do the flyes lying down with dumbbells too.

[Ballet Teacher]

Thanks Terra. I AM going to use the dumbells next time for sure!! That's a promise.

I am REALLY sore today in my pecs... they actually feel bigger (swelling perhaps). My legs where pretty sore last night but not as bad as last week. I think I need to do lunges (I did them last week). I just loath lunges. I think I will do a bit of research to find the right lunges for me. Today is back and bi's... not my fav.. but tomorrow is SHOULDERS which is my very favourite.

I am struggling with daylights savings time. It is making me want to sleep in so I have been working out at night which I don't like. Next week I hope to be back in sync and I will do my workouts first thing in the morning.

I am trying to be more positive about my body and eating. I do feel much better - but I am still struggling with negative feelings about my weight gain. I just keep telling myself that my old 'tricks' won't get me to where I want to me. I know I have to be patient and stay positive.

[MsJewels]

I recently start doing lunges using the Smith machine (barbell), and I prefer it! That way I'm not quiting 'em early because my grip on the dumbbells is giving out. Also, single leg lunges is TOUGH! They work though!

Good luck with the busy schedule!

[someday]

just a quick suggestion for you. i cook all of my meals for the day at one time and that way everything is done and i can pack it in a mini cooler to go for the day or just heat it up if i'm at home. i have found i am much less likely to grab something i shouldn't if i'm all prepared for the day. it does take a bit of organization, but it has worked for me. i take my cooler everywhere. everyone thought i was a nut showing up on easter day w/ my cooler full of food, but so what!

you must be busy getting ready for a rectial the beginning of june. i know how stressful that can be....just stay focused....you'll be fine!

[vanessa40]

Hi,
Just wanted to say hello and let you know i'm enjoying reading your journal..i took ballet a long time ago..i really enjoyed it..hope you are having a great day...

Vanessa

[Ballet Teacher]

Thursday April 7

Meal 1: BioProtein
Meal 2: Oatmeal & CC
Meal 3: Peanut Crunch Bar
Meal 4: Lean Ground Turkey & Wrap
1 Apple & Carrots as random snacks.

Total: 1303cal
Fat: 38 27%
Carbs: 118 36%
Protein: 121 38%

So... I was going to go to the gym after I finished teaching last night but I ended up staying and working until 9pm. I went from 4-9 with nothing to eat... YIKES. I am really motivated to plan my meals for next week so this doesn't happen again. I admit I got on the scale but my weight is back down to 130 and I lost that inch that suddenly appeared on my hips and thighs last week (not from working out). I am a bit anxious because I forsee not being able to get to the gym AGAIN! I worked from 5am to 8am this morning and then went IN to work and I do get off at 6 tonight but my pup just go neutered and I can't leave him alone tonight. Grrrrr... I guess I will do my Thurs/ Fri routines on the weekend. That way the only thing that I missed is cardio.

I feel SO much better and happier these past few weeks since I have started changing my eating habits. I know my meals are terrible compared to everyone else on this board but it is a huge improvement for me and i know soon I will get my diet to where is should be.

MsJewels - I am thinking about doing one legged squats... I think that is what they are called. When you do a lunge but stay there and just go up and down. Maybe I could do those on the smith machine... although that would mean going into the "men's" area YIKES! (not really for men but there is a room with the standard bodybuilding equipment with really heavy weights). I really appreciate your input.

someday - I am going to buy a cooler this weekend and a thermos so I can carry cottage cheese around with me and not worry about it getting warm..EW!! It is CRAZY this time of year but I do love it. It makes me happy getting so much work done in such a short period of time. I will be relieved when it is over so that I will have more time at the gym.

vanessa - Thanks Vanessa. There is something about know that people read and post in my journal that keeps me motivated. Remember that it is never too late to start dancing again if you want to. At my school there a many adult classes and some of the women are in their 50's and never danced before. Personally I am happy to have a break from it now - it was very hard on my body image...

[vanessa40]

I would love to take dancing again..but i'm so shy..dancing in front of people would kill me..maybe when i get in better shape i will..hope you have a nice weekend..

Vanessa

[sthpadregrl]

Hi Ballet Teacher.......
Glad to see you have decided to take a healthier approach to maintaining your diet and weight. Also think of the example you are setting for your students. I enjoy reading your journal. Just wanted to let you know that there's a lot more readers than you think, and all the ladies are so helpful. I'm already impressed......I couldn't dance if my life depended on it.

[Ballet Teacher]

I am not going to bother posting Friday to Sunday. They were alright days, not the cleanest but my cals were in check and I got more protein than in the past. This week I am aiming to stick to my plan strictly for 5 days. The weekends are SO hard because my fiance is always pushing stuff on me and gets mad if I say no. He is just going to have to realize that I am not saying no because I am starving myself but because I am trying to be healthier.

I bought a lunch bag - zipper broke on day one. Grrrrr... Anyways I have prepared my chicken and got organized for the week.

Monday April 11

Intake

Meal 1: .5 cc & power bar harvest (couldn't stomach the oatmeal I bought)
Meal 2: .75 cc & apple
Meal 3: 4.5oz chicken breast, 1 cup carrots
Meal 4: Lettuce, Baby Spinach & 1 can tuna
Meal 5: 2 eggs (supposed to be 1) & 1 egg white (supposed to be 2)
Meal 6: 1.5 small ww wraps, 4oz lean ground turkey

Basically this is the meal plan I am trying to stick to. Yesterday I ate a bit more then I wanted. For now I am trying to keep my cals around 1320 - 1400 during the week and higher on the weekends.

Workout
I had an awesome leg day! I am SOOO sore today.

Lunges on half ball: olbsx20reps | 20lbsx20reps | 30lbsx12reps
Seated Leg Press: 75x15 | 135x10 | 155x8 | 175x6 - personal best!
Leg Ext: 60x10 | 60x10 | 60x8
Leg Curl: 75x10 | 90x8 | 90x8
Abductor*: 75x10 | 75x10 | 100x6

*I know the outer thigh machine is supposedly pretty useless... but I really like doing it and I like the feeling I get in my glutes because it is similar to the pinch you get when turning out in ballet in certain positions.

I am pretty happy with the weights that I am lifting with my legs. They don't seem too whimpy (unlike my upper body).

Thought: I am going to use this section to help keep me motivated and on track. One of my sisters who is two years younger has always been at least 20 pounds more than me. She is medium to large bones, whereas I am small to medium. When I was 12 and she was 10 she could beat me up. Anyways 3 years ago her weight was probably around 190 at 5'7ish. She lost down to 140 and looked great. If anything she just needed to hit the weights. Anyways now she is around 125-130 and looks horribly thin - my fiance says she is clearly anorexic. I am usually around 125 at 5'8 and look normal and healthy because of my build. My sister knows this and was determined to be the same size. *sigh* Anyways this is really hard to deal with. Her initial weightloss is what freaked me into relapsing so badly last year. She gained a bit and now has lost again. I am trying to be patient with getting back into shape and losing inches but it is so hard not to get triggered when I am around her. She also is always looking me up and down and doing comparisons. I am REALLY trying to stay focused and positive. Today I got on the scale and it hasn't budged an inch and is on the top of my range. Hopefully that is from legs yesterday. The scary thing is, is that sometimes when I read this board you start to think that if you don't do things perfectly you won't see any results. I just try to remind myself that I got down to 17% bf from doing cardio most days and doing a fairly whimpy weights program AND eating horribly. If I stick to my current program I HAVE to see results... right?!

[Ballet Teacher]

I would love to take dancing again..but i'm so shy..dancing in front of people would kill me..maybe when i get in better shape i will..hope you have a nice weekend..

Vanessa

It is a very vulnerable thing... Just keep in mind that I spent most of my professional years not auditioning and taking certain classes because I was waiting to get in better shape. I also once spent 6 months waiting to get in better shape before joining the gym! Silly me.

I hope you had a wonderful weekend!

[Ballet Teacher]

I just thought I should add what supplements I am taking.

Centrum Multi
EFA capsules
Evening Primrose
Greens +
Psyllium tablets (trying for 4 a day)

*When I am done with the EFA and Evening Primrose I think I will switch to fish oil.

[StlBarbie]

You will certainly get there Ballet Teacher!! I know you are really aware that these kind of body transitions take time! I am sorry to hear about your sister, I am sure that adds to your frustrations! On the bright side, she may view what you accomplish as a goal for herself! Keep up the good work!!

[Ballet Teacher]

Tuesday April 13

Intake

Meal 1: BioProtein
Meal 2: Chicken Breast - 5oz
Meal 3: 1 can of tuna, lettuce
Meal 4: 1 hardboiled Egg
Meal 5: Lean Ground Turkey (4.5oz) & small ww wrap

Total:*1327
*Fat: 47*33%
Carbs: 60*18%
Protein: 158* 49%

I am out of carrots and apples. It is doubtful I will be able to get to the grocery store until Friday as I work from 8am to 9pm for the next 2 days. My students have their ballet exams.

Workout
Rest day! I am SUPER sore from yesterday. I am planning on going to the gym before work tomorrow but depending on how I feel I may not because it is more important I feel awake and energized for my students.

Thoughts
I am really going to try to take the approach the powells suggested. I am going to tell myself that I can prove to my sister that you can be slim and attractive and eat AND lift weights. Actually I think this might be more important for my youngest sister. She is only 18 and really looks up to me. I want to set a good example.

[Ballet Teacher]

Wednesday April 13th

Today I worked from 8am to 8pm, because my students had their ballet exams. This meant I was on my feet the entire time. I honestly don't recall sitting down until about 6pm. I didn't go to the gym and tomorrow I won't either because it will be the same thing again (more exams). I did HORRIBLY with my diet, HOWEVER... I am proud because I was able to keep more on track than usual and didn't let me mistakes throw the day off entirely.
*

Intake
Meal 1: Powerbar Harvest
Snack: cookies... (maybe 2 plain ones)
Meal 2: Turkey Sandwich (no mayo) on whole wheat
Meal 3: um... cookies... (a couple of very thin chocolate ones)
Meal 4 (9pm): chicken breasts (about 6 oz) and half a cup of cottage cheese - I did this since my protein was so low.

Total: 1414*
*Fat: 38*24%
Carbs:164*45%
Protein:106*30%

Workout
Standing on my feet for 11 hours, and doing about 25 buns!

Thoughts:
I am really dissapointed that I wasn't able to stick to my plan and ate those evil cookies. I KNOW that next week will be SO much easier because I am not teaching on several nights and my kids exams will be OVER!!! I wish I just said NO to the cookies... but I had fewer than I normal would have. I also really noticed a difference in my hungry. I was hungry more often which I think is a good sign. I also noticed when I was hungry I didn't want to reach for the dozens of treats that were around. You'd think at a ballet school they'd have healthy snacks!

I feel pretty embarrassed by this journal so far but I am confident I will keep improving. I think doing things this way is better than being perfect from day one. This way I can adjust to this new way of eating.

[Krissypoo]

Thoughts:
I feel pretty embarrassed by this journal so far but I am confident I will keep improving. I think doing things this way is better than being perfect from day one. This way I can adjust to this new way of eating.

Don't be embarrased! You're working at getting better each day. Keep pounding out those workouts, working on that diet, and keeping positive. It will all come together before you know it!

[terracotta]

Wednesday April 13th

Today I worked from 8am to 8pm, because my students had their ballet exams. This meant I was on my feet the entire time. I honestly don't recall sitting down until about 6pm. I didn't go to the gym and tomorrow I won't either because it will be the same thing again (more exams). I did HORRIBLY with my diet, HOWEVER... I am proud because I was able to keep more on track than usual and didn't let me mistakes throw the day off entirely.
*

Intake
Meal 1: Powerbar Harvest
Snack: cookies... (maybe 2 plain ones)
Meal 2: Turkey Sandwich (no mayo) on whole wheat
Meal 3: um... cookies... (a couple of very thin chocolate ones)
Meal 4 (9pm): chicken breasts (about 6 oz) and half a cup of cottage cheese - I did this since my protein was so low.

Total: 1414*
*Fat: 38*24%
Carbs:164*45%
Protein:106*30%

Workout
Standing on my feet for 11 hours, and doing about 25 buns!

Thoughts:
I am really dissapointed that I wasn't able to stick to my plan and ate those evil cookies. I KNOW that next week will be SO much easier because I am not teaching on several nights and my kids exams will be OVER!!! I wish I just said NO to the cookies... but I had fewer than I normal would have. I also really noticed a difference in my hungry. I was hungry more often which I think is a good sign. I also noticed when I was hungry I didn't want to reach for the dozens of treats that were around. You'd think at a ballet school they'd have healthy snacks!

I feel pretty embarrassed by this journal so far but I am confident I will keep improving. I think doing things this way is better than being perfect from day one. This way I can adjust to this new way of eating.

Why are you eating so little with so much junk? You have to plan ahead and prepare snacks the day before you can bring with you. You should be eating a minimum of 1600 calories a day. Read the sticky in the nutrition forum.

In fact, I think you should read through VanillaBean's journal from the start to finish.

[shann]

^^ easy, she is recovering from an eating disorder, it will take her some time to get used to eating alot more and being consistant.

Hey Shannon! It's Shannon!

I think you are doing great, and remember the changes you are making in your life will not happen overnight. Don't let minor small slips keep you from moving forward or letting that negative part of your mind creep back. Don't be obsessive about a perfect diet and perfect workouts. It's about working towards getting healthy (and being obsessed with either of those could make you relapse, i know you know that) so stay positive and confident in the changes you are making!

You really are doing amazing. It's so wonderful to see how far you have come.

[Ballet Teacher]

Why are you eating so little with so much junk? You have to plan ahead and prepare snacks the day before you can bring with you. You should be eating a minimum of 1600 calories a day. Read the sticky in the nutrition forum.

In fact, I think you should read through VanillaBean's journal from the start to finish.

Terra - suprisingly, a month ago I was eating far far worse. Even though yesterday was terrible even it was SO much better than in the past. The truth is I have been reading this website on and off for the past 2 years and I have read countless nutrition books, diet books, magazines etc AND all of vanillabeans journal - infact reading it is what made me decide to try and change how I eat. Anyways the information is in my head but I still have some left over eating disorder habits. Like not self-control whatsoever around cookies... right now I am just proud I am not eating them all and purging them, or eating them all and doing 4 hours of cardio to compensate. I really AM trying... but I will try harder.

As for my calories. I do want to get them up to 1600 but I told myself I would stick to around 1300 during the weekdays and around 1700 on the weekends for ONE month. If I haven't gained weight then I will increase them.

I do appreciate your input and your post has made me either want to cry and feel sorry for myself or try harder. I am going to try harder.

Shann - Thank you so much for your post! I am sure you know how Terra's post could potentially affect me... but I am just sucking it up and I am going to do better. No mistakes today! I hope I see you around here more!!!

Wannabe - thank YOU for your supportive words. I truly appreciate it!

[Krissypoo]

Like not self-control whatsoever around cookies... right now I am just proud I am not eating them all and purging them, or eating them all and doing 4 hours of cardio to compensate. I really AM trying... but I will try harder.


You're quite a tall girl, you can definitely eat more and you will feel so good once you start. How do you feel on the weekend when you up your calories? Do you physically feel better? Take note of these things, listen to your body, and make adjustments as needed.

About those cookies ;)

Make healthy ones! You can make healthy peanut butter, oatmeal raisin, and all sorts of cookies. I'm going to play with a recipe tonight and make a carrot cake cookie, if possible. Check out the recipe thread in the Nutrition forum. There are loads of recipes there for sweet treats that are really good for you. My theory is, this is a lifestyle...make it fun and easy to follow! :)

[Ballet Teacher]

You're quite a tall girl, you can definitely eat more and you will feel so good once you start. How do you feel on the weekend when you up your calories? Do you physically feel better? Take note of these things, listen to your body, and make adjustments as needed. I actually do feel pretty bloated since I started eating this way. This is why I am hesitating uping my cals - as well my weight hasn't dropped when usually when I eat this amount I would be losing. I think my cals will get up to 1500 once I add more fruits and veggies in. That is my goal for next week


About those cookies ;)

Make healthy ones! You can make healthy peanut butter, oatmeal raisin, and all sorts of cookies. I'm going to play with a recipe tonight and make a carrot cake cookie, if possible. Check out the recipe thread in the Nutrition forum. There are loads of recipes there for sweet treats that are really good for you. My theory is, this is a lifestyle...make it fun and easy to follow! :)

I actually HATE eating cookies, but I guess my taste buds love them. These cookies were out on plates in 4 different places. A reach away. I didn't have time to sit and eat from 8am-8pm, so it was pretty easy to just grab a cookie or 2... etc. Unfortunatly I still can't have any yummy carb foods around because of the likelihood of my binging and purging them. I never want to go back to that.


Thank you SOOO much for posting in my journal and being so positive and supportive. I have started reading yours. It is really inspiring to watch the change from the first time you posted in it to your current entries.

[someday]

you have nothing to be embarrassed about! life gets busy and it's easy to let things get in the way. like you said writing things down is a great way to be accountable and make a postive change.

[terracotta]

I actually do feel pretty bloated since I started eating this way. This is why I am hesitating uping my cals - as well my weight hasn't dropped when usually when I eat this amount I would be losing. I think my cals will get up to 1500 once I add more fruits and veggies in. That is my goal for next week



I actually HATE eating cookies, but I guess my taste buds love them. These cookies were out on plates in 4 different places. A reach away. I didn't have time to sit and eat from 8am-8pm, so it was pretty easy to just grab a cookie or 2... etc. Unfortunatly I still can't have any yummy carb foods around because of the likelihood of my binging and purging them. I never want to go back to that.


Thank you SOOO much for posting in my journal and being so positive and supportive. I have started reading yours. It is really inspiring to watch the change from the first time you posted in it to your current entries.

It's ok! Small changes are great.

[MsJewels]

MsJewels - I am thinking about doing one legged squats... I think that is what they are called. When you do a lunge but stay there and just go up and down. Maybe I could do those on the smith machine... although that would mean going into the "men's" area YIKES! (not really for men but there is a room with the standard bodybuilding equipment with really heavy weights). I really appreciate your input.
With my one-leg lunges, I do stay in one spot, and place my non-weight bearing leg behind me with toe touching the ground. This enables me to keep balance, and if I'm struggling near the end I can apply more pressure to the toe.

You don't have to do them with the Smith machine, but I've found that I'm able to push more if I opt for that instead of the lose barbell, since I can really lean into that one leg, and not worry as much about balance.

Your journalling is going great! I think you should eat more cals, though - 1300 isn't much if you're trying to put on muscle... and you need more protein in your diet, too.

Don't stress over the cookies! I had many regretful snacks when I started journalling, but now am able to resist super easily! It'll come with time. :)

[Ballet Teacher]

I haven't posted in the last three days because it was the end of the week and I was pretty depressed about those cookies. I did have two amazing workouts om the weekend and that really made me forget about last week and feel ready for a new one!

Monday April 18

Intake
Meal 1: Oatmeal & Cottage Cheese
Meal 2: Chicken, Cottage Cheese, Apple
Meal 3: Cottage Cheese & Raspberries
Meal 4: Protein Bar (190cals)
Meal 5: Tuna Salad & Oatmeal
*workout*
Meal 6: Lean Turkey and small ww wrap

Total: 1349*
*
Fat: 28*19%
Carbs: 120*35%
Protein: 151*46%

Sups: Multi, EFA, Evening Primrose, Greens+

Workout - Chest & Tris

Chest Press: 60lbs x 6 reps x 3 sets
Chest Fly: 45 x 7 x 3
Chest Incline: 45 x 6 x 3
Overhead Tris: 12 x 12/ 10 x 15/ 8 x 20
Bench Press*: 24 measly pounds x 8 x 3 (pathetic!)
Obliques: Machine and Medicine Ball

20 minutes of Intervals on the Stairmaster

Thoughts:
I am enjoying my workouts more and more. I am not feeling so embarrassed and I am not so nervous to use the free weights. I look at my body now and I already can see the muscles working when I lift, and not just the shape of the muscle but I guess the different parts - like of the delts. It is really motivating because I know that I will probably be able to see the changes fairly quickly. I don't feel so overwhelmed with my recent weight gain. I feel OK with it which for me is a HUGE thing. I just LOVE lifting. I just wish I was stronger. Today at the end of my workout I decided to do some dumbell benchpresses because I was feeling brave and wanted to conquer my phobia. So I benched 24 pounds (mind you after I did my whole routine)... I felt like such a weakling. Then my left arm completely collapsed onto my chest on my last rep/ set. I can't wait to FEEL strong in my arms like I do in my legs. I hate that shakey unbalanced weak feeling.

---------------

MsFit - Thanks so much for your words of encouragement!! I am going to try the lunges you described... maybe even on the smith machine! YIKES that is scary. I have already noticed a big change in my cravings so I am very positive that I will get better with time, but I also know that with my sugar addiction it won't happen over night. My weight has gone up a bit as have my measurements, not to mention I FEEL fat and bloated 95% of the time. This is NOT good because I need to fit into a Wedding Dress I bought when I was around 125 and about 2 inches smaller everywhere. I am planning on eating 1350 during the week and around 1700 on the weekend and see what happens. If this gets my weight back in order I will be happy to up my cals, although 1350 seems like so much when you eat lots of protein. How many protein grams should I be trying to get? I have been aiming for about 160. I would LOVE any advice you can give me.

[terracotta]

I haven't posted in the last three days because it was the end of the week and I was pretty depressed about those cookies. I did have two amazing workouts om the weekend and that really made me forget about last week and feel ready for a new one!

Monday April 18

Intake
Meal 1: Oatmeal & Cottage Cheese
Meal 2: Chicken, Cottage Cheese, Apple
Meal 3: Cottage Cheese & Raspberries
Meal 4: Protein Bar (190cals)
Meal 5: Tuna Salad & Oatmeal
*workout*
Meal 6: Lean Turkey and small ww wrap

Total: 1349*
*
Fat: 28*19%
Carbs: 120*35%
Protein: 151*46%

Sups: Multi, EFA, Evening Primrose, Greens+

Workout - Chest & Tris

Chest Press: 60lbs x 6 reps x 3 sets
Chest Fly: 45 x 7 x 3
Chest Incline: 45 x 6 x 3
Overhead Tris: 12 x 12/ 10 x 15/ 8 x 20
Bench Press*: 24 measly pounds x 8 x 3 (pathetic!)
Obliques: Machine and Medicine Ball

20 minutes of Intervals on the Stairmaster

Thoughts:
I am enjoying my workouts more and more. I am not feeling so embarrassed and I am not so nervous to use the free weights. I look at my body now and I already can see the muscles working when I lift, and not just the shape of the muscle but I guess the different parts - like of the delts. It is really motivating because I know that I will probably be able to see the changes fairly quickly. I don't feel so overwhelmed with my recent weight gain. I feel OK with it which for me is a HUGE thing. I just LOVE lifting. I just wish I was stronger. Today at the end of my workout I decided to do some dumbell benchpresses because I was feeling brave and wanted to conquer my phobia. So I benched 24 pounds (mind you after I did my whole routine)... I felt like such a weakling. Then my left arm completely collapsed onto my chest on my last rep/ set. I can't wait to FEEL strong in my arms like I do in my legs. I hate that shakey unbalanced weak feeling.

---------------

MsFit - Thanks so much for your words of encouragement!! I am going to try the lunges you described... maybe even on the smith machine! YIKES that is scary. I have already noticed a big change in my cravings so I am very positive that I will get better with time, but I also know that with my sugar addiction it won't happen over night. My weight has gone up a bit as have my measurements, not to mention I FEEL fat and bloated 95% of the time. This is NOT good because I need to fit into a Wedding Dress I bought when I was around 125 and about 2 inches smaller everywhere. I am planning on eating 1350 during the week and around 1700 on the weekend and see what happens. If this gets my weight back in order I will be happy to up my cals, although 1350 seems like so much when you eat lots of protein. How many protein grams should I be trying to get? I have been aiming for about 160. I would LOVE any advice you can give me.

That is great you've started on the freeweights! Good for you. Try adding 2 cups of nonstarch veggies in on your low cal days. Your fiber must be quite low. Make sure you are drinking at least 12 cups of water a day. These might help with that bloating. You can try adding just a little extra carbs (like 1 serving of oatmeal more) when you are ready. Your protein level is good.

[Krissypoo]

Terracotta is right, water will help with the bloating. I definitely agree that you need fibrous vegetables. That will also help with the bloating.

Your ratios look good, just slowly start eating more. Previously, I was eating about 1500 calories, sometimes less, per day. As I slowly up the calories, I dodged the bloating. Just take it slowly. You'll find that you have more energy when you up your calories a bit, especially calories from carbs like oats and sweet potatoes and brown rice.

You are progressing! Keep it up. :) Everything will come together in time, just stay positive and don't lose your desire and work ethic. You will get stronger, just lift those heavy weights and it will happen before you know it!

[Ballet Teacher]

Thanks for the advice Terra and Wannabe. Two weeks ago it was a struggle to drink more than a litre of water, but now I am getting about 2-3 litres in per day and I do think it has helped with the bloating!!! In fact today I barely feel bloated which is a wonderful change.

Are carrots an OK vegetable to add in? My problem is I really dislike most vegetables. These are the ones I do like and I only like veggies raw.

Carrots
Celery
Lettuce
Peppers
Broccoli - I have only been able to eat this with cheese sauce. UGH!

Potatos - but I never really consider them a veggie. I put them on par with oatmeal and brown rice.

I really DO want to like more veggies and it was only recently that I added peppers into my 'repetoire'.

I am totally up for uping my veggies, I am a bit anxious about adding oatmeal as this was once a binge food for me. However today I had two servings of oatmeal for breakfast.


I just wanted to share the I can see a difference in my body from 3 weeks ago. Although I know I haven't put on muscle or lost fat I think I am less bloated looked. This is definitly encouraging!

[terracotta]

Thanks for the advice Terra and Wannabe. Two weeks ago it was a struggle to drink more than a litre of water, but now I am getting about 2-3 litres in per day and I do think it has helped with the bloating!!! In fact today I barely feel bloated which is a wonderful change.

Are carrots an OK vegetable to add in? My problem is I really dislike most vegetables. These are the ones I do like and I only like veggies raw.

Carrots
Celery
Lettuce
Peppers
Broccoli - I have only been able to eat this with cheese sauce. UGH!

Potatos - but I never really consider them a veggie. I put them on par with oatmeal and brown rice.

I really DO want to like more veggies and it was only recently that I added peppers into my 'repetoire'.

I am totally up for uping my veggies, I am a bit anxious about adding oatmeal as this was once a binge food for me. However today I had two servings of oatmeal for breakfast.


I just wanted to share the I can see a difference in my body from 3 weeks ago. Although I know I haven't put on muscle or lost fat I think I am less bloated looked. This is definitly encouraging!

Those are the veggies I eat! They are healthier raw so that is not a problem. I also like baby spinach and cauliflower (both raw). For baby spinach, cauliflower and brocolli I add either light creamy cucumber dressing or light french dressing.

(Brown rice is great. So are sweet potatoes/yams.)

[Ballet Teacher]

Those are the veggies I eat! They are healthier raw so that is not a problem. I also like baby spinach and cauliflower (both raw). For baby spinach, cauliflower and brocolli I add either light creamy cucumber dressing or light french dressing.

(Brown rice is great. So are sweet potatoes/yams.)

Oh good!! I also like baby spinach in a salad - mostly spinach with some lettuce and tuna... mmmmmmm so yummy.

I think you will be pleased with my cals and choices today!!

[Ballet Teacher]

So I have been reading the boards and thinking this afternoon. I have come to the conclusion that I am confused about what my goals REALLY are and what I need to do to attain them.

The bottom line is I ordered a dress that will be slightly too tight at my current size - it is paid in full. I will need to lose about an inch or two off my waist, and maintain my ribcage size, the bust is HUGE on me so I can gain 5 inches there and it would still fit. So I need to LOSE on inch or two off everything below my waist, while my upper body is quite small and doesn't 'need' to be smaller.

My question is what should I be doing to make this happen? I can't get bigger! I am open to perhaps bulking to put on some more muscle after the wedding but for now it isn't an option. I would REALLY appreciate some advice. I guess my confusion comes from bulking vs. cutting. Is there anything inbetween? If I just keep my cals in a healthy lower range (what would that be for me) and stick to a solid workout routine will those inches come off? Oh and what is the MOST amount of cardio I can do? I do LOVE the cardio.

Thank you in advance!!

[Krissypoo]

Is there anything inbetween? If I just keep my cals in a healthy lower range (what would that be for me) and stick to a solid workout routine will those inches come off? Oh and what is the MOST amount of cardio I can do? I do LOVE the cardio.


YUCK! Cardio! ;) Just kidding

You can do both at the same time, slowly. Eating moderate carbs and protein and moderate amounts of healthy fat and lifting heavy weights. You can do MODERATE cardio. 3 or 4 times a week is good enough, nothing more. I'm not sure if you want to do intervals, but 2 days of HIIT and one or two days of lower intensity cardio will work well to lose fat.

You don't want your calories too low, especially if you don't want your metabolism to die(VERY bad thing). Make sure you eat VERY clean. Drinks lots of water, a gallon a day if you can.

[terracotta]

So I have been reading the boards and thinking this afternoon. I have come to the conclusion that I am confused about what my goals REALLY are and what I need to do to attain them.

The bottom line is I ordered a dress that will be slightly too tight at my current size - it is paid in full. I will need to lose about an inch or two off my waist, and maintain my ribcage size, the bust is HUGE on me so I can gain 5 inches there and it would still fit. So I need to LOSE on inch or two off everything below my waist, while my upper body is quite small and doesn't 'need' to be smaller.

My question is what should I be doing to make this happen? I can't get bigger! I am open to perhaps bulking to put on some more muscle after the wedding but for now it isn't an option. I would REALLY appreciate some advice. I guess my confusion comes from bulking vs. cutting. Is there anything inbetween? If I just keep my cals in a healthy lower range (what would that be for me) and stick to a solid workout routine will those inches come off? Oh and what is the MOST amount of cardio I can do? I do LOVE the cardio.

Thank you in advance!!

Next time buy a dress slightly too big.. but I realize you have to pay for these in full. Everything below the waist was tight? butt and hips as well? It is always possible to alter a dress to accomodate an extra 1/2 inch.. perhaps you want to ask the store about it? It is not as uncommon as you think for brides and bridesmaids to not fit in their dresses!

To bulk you eat slightly more calories than you are using and drop the cardio.

It certainly is possible to gain muscle while losing weight. MsFit helps people do this all of the time. Wannabemodel's suggestion on the cardio is right on. Putting your calories up to a healthy level is not going to cause you to gain for long. It is very important for your health. You have to get those calories up to 1600 minimum. You can stay that low until after your event if you want.

[Ballet Teacher]

Thanks SO much Terra and Wannabe. The dress is a size 4 and the 6 was slightly too big and when I tried it on I had JUST gained weight and planned on losing it, so it made sense to get the 4. It should only be tight in the waist, the hips will actually be a bit big, like the bust. Anyways, I am going to take your advice. By May I should hopefully have my cals at 1600 and not be cheating except once a weak.

Tuesday April 19

Intake

Meal 1: 2 servings of oatmeal, 1 cup CC, 20 raspberries
Meal 2: Peanut Crunch Bar & Apple
Meal 3: 5oz Chicken Breast, 2 cup of carrots
Meal 4: 4oz lean ground turkey, ww wrap
*workout*
Meal 5: 1 cup CC, oatmeal

Total: 1556*
*Fat: 33 20%
Carbs:161*40%
Protein: 150*40%

Workout

Shoulder Press w DB: 30lbs (total), x 6 reps x 3 sets
Lateral Raises: 10lbs x 6 x 3
Rear Delt Machine: 30lbs x 10 x 3
Shoulder Press machine, vertical grip: 24lbs x 12 x 3
Upright Rows: 40lbs x 6 x 2

10 minute stairmaster
20 minutes on ellipitcal - heartrate around 145

Thoughts
My shoulders are so weak it is discouraging and it makes it hard to feel like I am actually working them. I just feel unbalanced and... weak. When I did the shoulder presses with the dumbells I had to work to make sure the weights did fall behind me or wobble. I hate feeling so wimpy and weak. Oh well at least there is lots of room to improve.

I have a VERY hard time getting my heart rate up tonight. I was aiming to get it around 155 but it just wouldn't happen. I think I will stick to the stairmaster or treadmill for days where I want my heart rate up.

[Krissypoo]

This looks absolutely perfect. :D Diet is right on and workout looks great. Don't worry about the heavy weights if your form is correct. You are keeping the important things on top of the list and that is admirable. Heavy weights and bad form is an equation for injury.

Upright rows are not the best exercise for shoulders. They can create injuries. I think you can remove that one and your workout will be great, even without adding another exercise.

See...I told you it would all start falling into place. :)

[terracotta]

This looks absolutely perfect. :D Diet is right on and workout looks great. Don't worry about the heavy weights if your form is correct. You are keeping the important things on top of the list and that is admirable. Heavy weights and bad form is an equation for injury.

Upright rows are not the best exercise for shoulders. They can create injuries. I think you can remove that one and your workout will be great, even without adding another exercise.

See...I told you it would all start falling into place. :)

Yep. This is right on.

[StlBarbie]

Shannon,
When I wanted to drop some inches from my lower body and increase the lean mass in my upper body .. I lowered the weights on my squats, leg presses, prone ham curls, lunges, etc. and did high reps on the lower body workouts. I lifted as heavy as I could for the upper body while keeping good form and kept the reps low. I do incorporate a lot of cardio but it seems to work well for me personally. Do keep your calories high enough to meet the energy and muscle building needs of your body or you will not get the results you are hoping to achieve.

I also had a broken shoulder from cycling and they were very weak. If you stay with it, you will see strength gains in no time at all. Again, as WBM stated just keep your form correct so that you do not risk injury.

I have had gowns altered over the years at bridal shops with great success. I think you would be amazed at how they can achieve a perfect fit for you in your wedding gown.

Keep up the great work .. you will look fabulous!

[Ballet Teacher]

Wednesday April 20

Intake
Meal 1: 1 cup CC, 2 servings oatmeal
Meal 2: BioProtein
Meal 3: Apple, 2oz chicken
Meal 4: 1 can tuna, 1 cup carrots
Meal 5: 4oz ground turkey, ww wrap

Total: 1375*
*Fat: 28*19%
Carbs: 144*41%
Protein: 135**40%

Rest Day

Thoughts
I woke up unbelievably hungry. After my BIG breakfast (about 450cals) I was STILL hungry. I waited 2 hours but the hunger was still there so I had the BioProtein bar. I taught from 3:30 to 7:30 tonight and completely forgot about the rest of my chicken, and some carrots I was planning on eating. I didn't drink nearly enough water today. The next 5 weeks are going to be increadibly challenging for eating properly, but if I can get through them it will be easy sailing afterwards.

I am getting increasingly anxious that my weight hasn't dropped. Although I am pretty sure my waist and hips were smaller this morning. I don't remember the last time my waist was slightly under 26 or the top of my hips under 35. I hope it wasn't just the way I was measuring.

I am SUPER excited for my workout tomorrow. I just get so excited for them now. I LOVE lifting and I LOVE the challenge of doing HIIT.

I just feel I need to say that I KNOW my diet has tons of room for improvement. I am hoping that by the summer I will push it up a level and ditch the protein bars, and increase the veggies.

---------------
Powells - I am going to take your advice. I am wondering how many reps I should be doing on my legs and if I should be really pushing my legs to the max. I am also wondering how much cardio you do. What is the most that I can get away with? Thank you so much for posting in my journal!

WBM - I know upright rows aren't great but when I do them I can really see my muscles in my shoulders and I just get SUPER motivated. Do you think it would be OK to do just one set with say 15 lb weights? Just because I love them so much?

[Krissypoo]

WBM - I know upright rows aren't great but when I do them I can really see my muscles in my shoulders and I just get SUPER motivated. Do you think it would be OK to do just one set with say 15 lb weights? Just because I love them so much?

If you really want to do them, go ahead. Please be careful, though. You don't want to hurt yourself and be out of commission. You've started to love lifting, which is great! No need to do anything to compromise being able to lift. Just use good form and don't go so heavy that you lose form.

[StlBarbie]

Shannon,

I was doing 3 to 4 sets with reps of 15-20 - with as little rest as possible - almost become a cardio session on its own and will certainy fry those little leggies. However, make sure you have the weight high enough that you are challenging the muscles. This should not be easy to do. It should be intense! Walking lunges can be done with very light weight and high, high reps .. your legs will be jello before you know it. Walking lunges will produce some fabulous results!

I am really not a good one to consult on cardio. I am a cyclist also and teach spinning. I have an excessive amount of cardio in my program because I do long distance cycling. Cardio will also increase your hunger. I would start with 30 minutes 4 x a week - and adjust based on the results you are getting.

My theory is that this is all a big science experiment and the exact same formula is not going to work for everyone!! Play with it and ENJOY it!! :)

[Ballet Teacher]

It IS working!! This morning I was looking at my stomach and the little chunk of fat that had developed around my belly button looked smaller, AND I can see my obliques again. So I measured my waist and it was under 26 again, so I measured my butt... UGH still about the same... I measured my arms, UP a quarter inch, and then I measured my bust which is down almost 3 inches!! My thighs also appear to be down about half an inch. I am slightly nervous about GAINING in my arms but they were under 9.5 to begin with so I just keep telling myself 10 inch arms would not be "big".

Today is back and bi's and I am going to work SOOO hard and I plan to do HIIT after. I am really starting to enjoy INTENSE workouts more and more. I don't care if I grunt, or turn purple anymore. I just want to get results.

I am now even more determined to improve my diet and continue to clean it up. Results... even tiny ones, really are very motivating!

My appetite is really increasing... or perhaps not my appetite but I am finding myself actually hungry more often than just craving. Last night I woke up at 1am with a grumbling stomach, despite adding half a cup of CC to my day before bed. Does this mean my metabolism might be increasing?

----------------------

Powells - You've got me really excited to do legs tomorrow. I don't want to do walking lunges... not yet. Just because the place that you have to do them is this hallway area were everyone can see you and it isn't really a workout area. I hate feeling so conspicuous. Can you recommend which exercises I should be doing? Can I do lunges, squats and leg press? Should I keep the leg extenstion and curl in there??

As for the cardio it was about a year ago that I had completely burned out from doing hours of cardio daily. I went one month with not ONE day off, and I would often go 2 or 3 times a day. Even though I was doing so much I still reduced my bodyfat and didn't just lose alot of muscle so I think perhaps my body 'likes' cardio. I will stick to about 4 days a week for now I think. Although I don't quite understand why I can't add 2 long and easy sessions on the elliptical... would it really be that bad??

WBM - I think I will just do the one set nice and easy. I used to do them all the time with no problems at all... but I promise to be careful!

[Krissypoo]

It IS working!! So I measured my waist and it was under 26 again, so I measured my butt... UGH still about the same... I measured my arms, UP a quarter inch, and then I measured my bust which is down almost 3 inches!! My thighs also appear to be down about half an inch.


CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! That is GREAT! Don't worry about the rear. :) The first place you gain is usually the last place you lose. You are losing everywhere else and the butt will soon start to decrease. AND...the increase in your arms is probably muscle. That is wonderful. Good going on the progress!



I am really starting to enjoy INTENSE workouts more and more. I don't care if I grunt, or turn purple anymore. I just want to get results.

I am now even more determined to improve my diet and continue to clean it up. Results... even tiny ones, really are very motivating!

Keep this motivation! :D It's addictive!




My appetite is really increasing... or perhaps not my appetite but I am finding myself actually hungry more often than just craving. Last night I woke up at 1am with a grumbling stomach, despite adding half a cup of CC to my day before bed. Does this mean my metabolism might be increasing?


It means you are working hard and your body wants fuel. Make sure you are eating good, clean foods. Your body especially likes clean carbs pre and post workout. Oh, and if you are getting hungry at night...eat some fats with the cottage cheese. It helps slow the digestion of the cottage cheese and you'll feel fuller, longer.

[StlBarbie]

Shannon,
LUNGE!! LUNGE!! LUNGE!! SQUAT!! SQUAT!! SQUAT!! PLIE SQUAT!
I would not really eliminate any specific leg exercise ... incorporate them as you can into your leg day! Switch up your leg routine. Again, go for high reps and INTENSITY!!
Personally, I think lunging will give you AWESOME results!!

Don't burn yourself out on the cardio but if you really want to add two longer sessions, my opinion is DO IT!! You will be able to tell how youir body is responding! Just keep it fun and challenging for yourself so you don't burn out! Change things up with the cardio ... keep your body guessing ..throw in some longer sessions and then a short very intense session!

Great job on the results you are seeing!! I agree with WBM - if your waist is down or the same and your arms are up it is probably all lean mass gain! NO ... 10 inch arms are NOT big!!!!!!!!!!!! It is cool that your metabolism is finally speeding up!! Clean eating ... will get you where you want to go!

Awesome work Shannon ... I am so glad you are enjoying it!!!
You will be one hot bride!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

[Ballet Teacher]

You guys are the best!!! I feel even MORE motivated now. I am going to lunge lunge lunge... and then lunge some more!! And get my diet in tip top shape!

[Paichka]

And then squat some more after that!

I have SUCH a booty, it's ridiculous...the first place I put on and the last place I lose. But your measurements are going down, and that's FANTASTIC...your butt will catch up, trust me. :D

PLIE SQUATS and GLUTE HAM RAISES. The two greatest butt-blasters ever invented by man. Your tush will thank you...after it stops complaining. ;)

keep it up!
Sunny

[Krissypoo]

I have SUCH a booty, it's ridiculous...the first place I put on and the last place I lose. But your measurements are going down, and that's FANTASTIC...your butt will catch up, trust me. :D


You girls trying to get rid of that...unbelievable. ;) I spend my time in the gym trying to make my legs and butt bigger! Higher! Rounder! LOL

Honestly, I think a big, high, round, muscle-y one is better than a small, high, round one. Helps fill out the jeans better. :D

Oh, Shannon...try box squats. Do them as low as you can go. That will work the whole leg and REALLY make things get hard. You'll feel your glutes working from top to bottom!

[StlBarbie]

Shannon???? Shannon??? Shannon???
Where are you???
I hope she didn't lunge herself to death!!! :D
Maybe she is crawling her way to the computer!!!! ;)

[Ballet Teacher]

*giggling* Actually I almost ate myself to death. It was my sisters birthday last night and we went out for dinner. Today I have high hopes of lunging my thighs to death!! :lol:

WBM - after 25 years of dance my butt and thighs are muscley enough, thank you very much! :wink: Truthfully it is where I carry most of my fat, especially on my hips. My hip bones themselves aren't very wide but when you add on the fat and muscle.... *shudders* But I would rather have my butt over a lot of butts out there! I am going to look these 'box squats" up.

Ooooooo I am so excited for legs today!!

Thursday April 21

Intake
Meal 1: BioProtein (I had the WORST craving for one)
Meal 2: CC & Oatmeal
Meal 3: Protein bar (I realized i left my lunch at home - UGH!)
*workout*
Meal 4: Chicken Breast, salad, one small roll, several sweet potato fries

Total: 1525
Fat: 38 342 23%
Carbs: 164 627 42%
Protein: 129 517 35%

Very dissapointing day, but I was proud that I restrained myself when we went out for dinner. I REALLY wanted one of the fancy pizza's. I swear I could live of protein bars.... I wish they were better for you then they are.

Workout

Lat Pulldown - 60lbsx6x4
Seated Row - 75lbsx6x3
Reverse Fly - 30lbsx10x3
DB Row - 20lbs (per arm)x6x3
Barbell Curls - 12reps x 4 sets (weight unknown)

20mins on ellipitcal - HR around 150

Thoughts
Well this morning (friday) my measurements are DEFINITLY down... even on my BUTT!! YIPPEE! My weight is starting to show a half pound loss... but I am not worrying so much about that. I am starting to feel good again about my body, because I know I am doing something positive for it. I just have to keep trying to get my diet cleaner and cleaner. I also think that once my family & fiance see I am not dieting like I used to they won't pressure me to eat more (like at dinner last night).

I am going to take some 'before' pics tonight to post once I have made some noticeable changes. To be honest the most frightening thing is posting my paleness!!! Well that and the back of my legs. I figure I will take pics every four weeks.

I am crossing my fingers I can get through this weekend cleanly!!! Except for one treat, one night (probably a chococlate bar).

[Ballet Teacher]

I am so tired today, but I got up before 6am and couldn't get back to sleep. Now it is 2pm and I don't think I can do my legs today. I will just have to move it to Saturday. I know that if I do it today I won't get nearly as good a workout as I will if I wait until I am well rested.

A side effect of all this eating and lifting is I get so excited to get up each morning to measure myself, plan my meals, post on the forum, go to the gym, etc.... that I am not sleeping in late enough. Silly me.

I am looking forward to Sunday because I am planning to do a week at a glance and average my cals/ protein intake and give an overview of my workouts each week, as well as my measurements and weight. I figure that way I can easily see my progress.

Box Squats - could I just use a bench? From what I read it is a squat where you squat so your butt touches a box that takes your butt slightly lower than your knees.

[arose70]

Hi! I just wanted to say that your journal has been pretty inspiring so far and its great that you are seeing results!!! You will look killer in your gown!! When I got married I had the dress let out about an inch because it was too small and then by my wedding day I had lost weight and just did some quick fixin with some pins on the inside to take up that inch that was let out and it fit perfectly!!! Don't worry, your day will be perfect and you will look fantastic! Do you measure yourself everyday? I used to weigh everyday and measure but I found that I played so many mental games with myself if it was good or bad that I stopped. I am much happier now...maybe something to think about, I don't know. If you can handle doing it everyday without getting down that's great!!!! You are doing great, keep it up!!:)

[Krissypoo]

Box Squats - could I just use a bench? From what I read it is a squat where you squat so your butt touches a box that takes your butt slightly lower than your knees.

Yes, you can. As long as you get low and explode back up, the "box" you use is not that big of a deal.

[Ballet Teacher]

Friday April 22

Meal 1: 1 cup CC, Oatmeal
Meal 2: "Protein" bar
Meal 3: 2 ww wraps, 7oz lean ground turkey (I was SO hungry!), carrots
Meal 4: Subway Turkey Deli Sandwich, 1 cookie

Total: 1428
Fat: 44 28%
Carbs: 140 38%
Protein: 123 494 35%

No Workout - exhausted

Saturday April 23

Meal 1: Powerbar Harvest (noon)
Meal 2: 1 cup CC, 2 servings oatmeal, carrots
Meal 3: 5oz Chicken, brown rice (1 serving)
Snack: 1 soy cutlet in a wrap
TREAT: Baked Tostitos

No Workout - more exhausted

Thoughts
My mood really dropped by mid-Friday morning and I just seemed to get more tired and more down on myself. When I get like that it is hard to stay on track because I become overwhelmed by negative thoughts.. "this isn't working", "I'm so fat..." "I am messing up this diet daily..." all that lovely stuff. Today is legs, but I REALLY want to do cardio. I feel really gross after the last 3 days. I suppose the one good thing about this is that my resolve will be better next week. Positive Thought: I didn't want to post these past three days because I was really embarrassed by them but I am determined to post EVERYDAY no matter how bad and so far I have!

-------------------------------

Arose - I am guilty of measuring everyday, but I generally only start doing that when I am seeing results. So if i measure one day randomly and discover I may of dropped a bit I start measuring daily. Once my measurements appear to plateau I will stop so I don't get discouraged.

[terracotta]

Friday April 22

Meal 1: 1 cup CC, Oatmeal
Meal 2: "Protein" bar
Meal 3: 2 ww wraps, 7oz lean ground turkey (I was SO hungry!), carrots
Meal 4: Subway Turkey Deli Sandwich, 1 cookie

Total: 1428
Fat: 44 28%
Carbs: 140 38%
Protein: 123 494 35%

No Workout - exhausted

u]Saturday April 23[/u]

Meal 1: Powerbar Harvest (noon)
Meal 2: 1 cup CC, 2 servings oatmeal, carrots
Meal 3: 5oz Chicken, brown rice (1 serving)
Snack: 1 soy cutlet in a wrap
TREAT: Baked Tostitos

No Workout - more exhausted

Thoughts
My mood really dropped by mid-Friday morning and I just seemed to get more tired and more down on myself. When I get like that it is hard to stay on track because I become overwhelmed by negative thoughts.. "this isn't working", "I'm so fat..." "I am messing up this diet daily..." all that lovely stuff. Today is legs, but I REALLY want to do cardio. I feel really gross after the last 3 days. I suppose the one good thing about this is that my resolve will be better next week. Positive Thought: I didn't want to post these past three days because I was really embarrassed by them but I am determined to post EVERYDAY no matter how bad and so far I have!

-------------------------------

Arose - I am guilty of measuring everyday, but I generally only start doing that when I am seeing results. So if i measure one day randomly and discover I may of dropped a bit I start measuring daily. Once my measurements appear to plateau I will probably back off it is discouraging me.

I find that I feel too tired 1/3 of the time but I just do it anyways and most of the time I get a fairly good workout. I also have found that not doing workouts because I am tired leads me to feeling more tired. The best thing is probably just to commit yourself to a condensed workout (eg 20-30 min) and if after you get started you feel like doing more great.

[VanillaBean_21]

Friday April 22

Meal 1: 1 cup CC, Oatmeal
Meal 2: "Protein" bar
Meal 3: 2 ww wraps, 7oz lean ground turkey (I was SO hungry!), carrots
Meal 4: Subway Turkey Deli Sandwich, 1 cookie

Total: 1428
Fat: 44 28%
Carbs: 140 38%
Protein: 123 494 35%

No Workout - exhausted

u]Saturday April 23[/u]

Meal 1: Powerbar Harvest (noon)
Meal 2: 1 cup CC, 2 servings oatmeal, carrots
Meal 3: 5oz Chicken, brown rice (1 serving)
Snack: 1 soy cutlet in a wrap
TREAT: Baked Tostitos

No Workout - more exhausted

Thoughts
My mood really dropped by mid-Friday morning and I just seemed to get more tired and more down on myself. When I get like that it is hard to stay on track because I become overwhelmed by negative thoughts.. "this isn't working", "I'm so fat..." "I am messing up this diet daily..." all that lovely stuff. Today is legs, but I REALLY want to do cardio. I feel really gross after the last 3 days. I suppose the one good thing about this is that my resolve will be better next week. Positive Thought: I didn't want to post these past three days because I was really embarrassed by them but I am determined to post EVERYDAY no matter how bad and so far I have!

-------------------------------

Arose - I am guilty of measuring everyday, but I generally only start doing that when I am seeing results. So if i measure one day randomly and discover I may of dropped a bit I start measuring daily. Once my measurements appear to plateau I will probably back off it is discouraging me.

Something that motivates me to eat clean is knowing that I will be posting on here. I think about how Emma will yell at me or Barb! :D It can be a great way to push yourself. :)

[Ballet Teacher]

Terra - I know you are right... I will just have to keep that in mind next time I am feeling tired.

VB - Lets just say that the way my diet is looking right now IS from me knowing I will be posting on here. You can only imagine how poorly I would be eating otherwise (no protein & all simple carbs.. YIKES!). I think what I will do is try to improve every week. Last week I had ONE day that I can say I was very happy with... so this week I will try to be 'perfect' for 2 days (or more of course). I love reading Emma-Leigh's posts... especially when she is giving you or someone else a lecture about diet. I always read those posts as if they were directed at me.

[Krissypoo]

Friday April 22

Total: 1428
Fat: 44 28%
Carbs: 140 38%
Protein: 123 494 35%

No Workout - exhausted

u]Saturday April 23[/u]
No Workout - more exhausted

Thoughts
My mood really dropped by mid-Friday morning and I just seemed to get more tired and more down on myself. When I get like that it is hard to stay on track because I become overwhelmed by negative thoughts.. "this isn't working", "I'm so fat..." "I am messing up this diet daily..." all that lovely stuff. Today is legs, but I REALLY want to do cardio. I feel really gross after the last 3 days. I suppose the one good thing about this is that my resolve will be better next week. Positive Thought: I didn't want to post these past three days because I was really embarrassed by them but I am determined to post EVERYDAY no matter how bad and so far I have!




Shannon -

Change takes time. Just a few days ago you were having this negative thoughts and, after measuring yourself, you realized you DID make changes! It's all in your mind...these crazy thoughts of being fat. You are NOT fat! You're getting stronger and leaner. How could you be gaining fat when you are losing inches from your waist, hips, thighs, and but AND gaining muscles in your arms?! Girl, you are doing what most women around you dream of doing...gaining muscle and losing fat at the exact same time!

Don't be embarrassed...be proud! You are kicking butt! If you are unsure of your diet, read a few of the journals for diet ideas. VanillaBean has a great diet for someone on the run.

Personally, I think you should do legs today. Cardio won't help you build the muscles and lose the fat like lifting does. Plus, the lifting you have been doing is what is causing your body to make all of these changes, not cardio. You've seen what the cardio has done for your body. Shock those folks when you come out in that dress! And set a good example for your students...show them that muscles are sexy! ;)

[StlBarbie]

I saw that Heather!!! :D

Shannon,
So glad you are back ... I was looking for your post yesterday!!! Unless, you really have physical concerns regarding the exhaustion ... try and push yourself through it! Tell yourself I'm going to do a 20 minute workout ... I'd be willing to bet you stick it out for the whole thing and feel energized afterwards. The exhaustion can be such a mental thing from stress ... let up on yourself... you are making great strides!!!! You are having success!!! Are you perfect .. no... and I dare to say no one here is!! It is a daily struggle mostly against ourselves ... the point is .. you want to stay in the game!! :)
Keep it fun for yourself so you enjoy doing it ... enjoy the small victories ... embrace the struggles ... you'll be that much more grittier in the end .. just ask Heather!! ;)

Now get your A$$ to the gym and wo those leggies missy... we want to hear all about your pain and agony later today!!! :D

[Ballet Teacher]

You guys are the best!! I just woke up from a 5 hour nap... hmmm... I guess I really WAS tired!!

I WILL go do my legs today!

You are right I AM making positive changes.

Thank you SO much for motivating me and keeping me on track.

[terracotta]

You guys are the best!! I just woke up from a 5 hour nap... hmmm... I guess I really WAS tired!!

I WILL go do my legs today!

You are right I AM making positive changes.

Thank you SO much for motivating me and keeping me on track.

wow a 5 hour nap.. good luck on the leg workout! I'll check in to see how you did.

[Ballet Teacher]

So... I went to the gym and did my legs. I am going to be SOOO sore.

I did SLDL for the first time. I grabbed two 25 pound dumbells and off I go. I felt a bit of a pull in my hams but nothing much. Then I stopped after 10... and OUCH... my hams started cramping and I got SO scared they would actually cramp right up. Anyways after that I could barely get through the leg extension machine. I did do the leg press, sumo squats and pulse lunges (not sure the real name), before the SLDL. I guess next time I shouldn't lift quite so much weight. I could hardly walk home!!!

I did only one set of squats. I hate squats and I don't think I will do them for now because they just depress me. Firstly my tendons have been stretched out in such a way I can only go deep if I am turned out. In parrallel my tendons are VERY tight (imo). I HATE the way my thighs look when I squat. It makes me feel like no amount of diet and exercise can ever improve that area. I also don't feel much when I do them. Most of the 'pain' is felt in the front of my legs because I have such difficulty getting deep at all. UGH! I also can't physically get the barbell with the weight I need on my shoulders. I suppose I could try and find a smith machine but it is in the room where they HUGE men go. Can I get a good leg workout without parrallel squats?? I do love the sumo style ones.

[terracotta]

So... I went to the gym and did my legs. I am going to be SOOO sore.

I did SLDL for the first time. I grabbed two 25 pound dumbells and off I go. I felt a bit of a pull in my hams but nothing much. Then I stopped after 10... and OUCH... my hams started cramping and I got SO scared they would actually cramp right up. Anyways after that I could barely get through the leg extension machine. I did do the leg press, sumo squats and pulse lunges (not sure the real name), before the SLDL. I guess next time I shouldn't lift quite so much weight. I could hardly walk home!!!

I did only one set of squats. I hate squats and I don't think I will do them for now because they just depress me. Firstly my tendons have been stretched out in such a way I can only go deep if I am turned out. In parrallel my tendons are VERY tight (imo). I HATE the way my thighs look when I squat. It makes me feel like no amount of diet and exercise can ever improve that area. I also don't feel much when I do them. Most of the 'pain' is felt in the front of my legs because I have such difficulty getting deep at all. UGH! I also can't physically get the barbell with the weight I need on my shoulders. I suppose I could try and find a smith machine but it is in the room where they HUGE men go. Can I get a good leg workout without parrallel squats?? I do love the sumo style ones.

You don't need to do regular squats. Sumo squats and lunges are sufficient.

[StlBarbie]

Glad you enjoyed yourself Shannon!!! :D Great job!!! You know, whenever you are tempted to put "crap" into your body, recall all your hard efforts and remember you want to reap the best results possible from all your pain! :)

[Paichka]

Shannon,

This is way off topic, but I have to ask -- you teach ballet. What ages? I used to take ballet when I was younger -- I quit when we moved because we were too far from my dance studio and there wasn't one closer. I miss it, and I've been kicking around the idea of taking an adult dance class -- is there such an animal for ballet? Or do you think that's a bit of a pipe-dream and I should stick with...oh, learning the rhumba? :p

Great job though...personally I love squats in any form -- plies are probably my favorite though.

Sunny

[Ballet Teacher]

Hey Paichka - it is never too late to start dancing!! I have taught ages 3 - 20, but my focus is ages 6-11 (no babies, no teens.. *wink* ). Here in toronto there are TONS of adult classes. At my school we offer about 5 classes a week and most of the adults either started as adults, or just took ballet when they were younger. There are three schools that I know of in Toronto that focus just on adult classes, so they have many levels and different styles of dance. Go for it!!! Depending on where you live, it should be easy to find adult classes in a major city. I also know many women that like to do the New York City Ballet workout when they can't get to a dance class. It isn't really a ballet class but it might be something to start with. Also all the adult ballet classes I have seen allow the students to pretty much where whatever they are comfortable in - so you aren't forced to wear just pink tights and a leo.

Sunday April 24

Intake
Meal 1: Scrambled eggs (1 egg, egg whites) & Oatmeal
Meal 2: Ground turkey, ww wrap, carrots
Snack: Baked Tostitos
Meal 3: Chicken breast & brown rice

Total: 1339
Fat: 30 269 21%
Carbs: 151 572 44%
Protein: 114 456 35%

Workout
Leg Press - 135lbsx12repsx2 | 175lbsx10
Ballet Squats - 30lbsx15x3
Pulse Lunges - 30lbsx15x3 (ouch!)
SLDL - 50lbsx10 (OWWWWWWWW!!!)
Leg Extenstion - 60lbsx10x3

Thoughts
Feeling a bit discouraged because big results don't happen quickly. I loath the fat that covers my legs, and I just want it off. I need to keep this in mind everytime I go to make a poor choice regarding diet/ workout. My goal today is to get at least 150grams of protein and to try to be more positive!

[abbs]

hi ballet teacher, I learnt ballet when i was young. i just love dancing and hope to get back into soon.

i can sympathise with your feelings of discouragement, it does take a while to see results and we have to work so hard at being patient and not letting those negative feelings creep in. that damn fat on the legs takes ages to go, especially if you tend to store your body fat in the lower area. Thats the case with me but in the past two-three weeks I have seen a dramatic improvement, finally the hard work is paying off and it seems to be happening all of a sudden. so dont give up, everyday is a little step closer to what you want to achieve. it will happen, you just need a whole lot of those little steps for it to become apparent.

You will get there, its just a matter of when.

[Ballet Teacher]

Thanks Abbs!!! That was exactly what I needed to hear. Sometimes it is just so hard being patient. I just have to keep reminding myself how quickly a few months can go by.

ARGH! I had a protein bar for breakfast. I am so addicted to those darn things. The one I had:

PROTEIN - by premier nutrition
Cals - 280
Fat - 8g/ 12% (Sat = 5g)
Cholesterol - 5mg / 1%
Sodium - 320mg/ 13%
Carbs - 21g/ 7%
Fibre - 2g/ 8%
Sugars - 9g
Protein - 30g

Just how bad is that bar??
-----------

It is weird. Today I am not really sore in my legs but they feel like jello. I was planning on doing HIIT but I think I had better save that tomorrow when I can stand on my own legs. Today is CHEST.. YEAH!! I love chest because I don't feel like such a weakling (in comparison to shoulders). Today I will start with the bench press so that I don't have a repeat of my left arm collapsing... *turns red*. I am also wondering for someone like me what should I be aiming to bench? I know it is very personal but I would just like something to be striving for in the relative short term. Last week I did 25 lbs and it felt like a lot *turns even redder*. But that was after several other exercises.

Another question. When people put #40 does that mean 40 pounds?? or Kilos? Or is it just #40 plate which could be any weight?

[MsJewels]

Protein bars bought in a store are really glorified chocolate bars. High fat (and usually it's saturated fat). I occassional indulge in those, too, but tend to eat my own homemade ones instead. The recipes floating around this site, but I know it's on page 8 or 9 ish of my journal if you want to look it up. Still has some fat in there, but it's from natural peanut butter, and isn't coated in chocolate, so a better choice.

Good to see you're doing so great!

[StlBarbie]

"Another question. When people put #40 does that mean 40 pounds?? or Kilos? Or is it just #40 plate which could be any weight?"

When I put #40 - it mean forty pounds. Now, if I am using dbs - two would obviously equal #80. Sometimes, it could mean weight in plates, as on a squat and then the wt. of the bar would be additional.

I'm glad your legs feel like jello ... that is a good thing! Enjoy the chest work out and then your whole body can hurt in unison!!! :D

I know the homemade protein bars are so .. much better than the manufactured variety but so.. often when I am out and about ... it is what I have to settle for! That or cook ... and God forbid I have to do that!! ;)

[Ballet Teacher]

Good news. I had 1500 cals today and lots of protein... the bad news... I ate TWO of those *$&%*$&% protein bars. I am making a vow to not have ANY for the next two days. I am doing so well with not eating bread and sweets, now i just have to get those evil bars OUT of my diet.

Monday April 25th

Intake
Meal 1: "Protein" protein bar
Meal 2: Ground turkey, wrap and carrots
Meal 3: Cottage Cheese & Oatmeal
Meal 4: Genisoy
Meal 5: Tuna and Carrots
Meal 6: Chicken Breasts & Carrots

Total: 1518
Fat: 36 328 22%
Carbs: 107 401 27%
Protein: 184 735 50%


Workout
Bench Press: 25lbsx8x3
Chest Press: 60lbsx6x3
Pec Fly: 37.5lbsx6x3
Overhead Tris: 20x10 | 25x6
Incline Chest Press: 30lbsx10x3
Kickbacks: 8lbsx8x2

10 minutes of HIIT on treadmill (6.0 incline, 7.2 running)

Thoughts
I felt like such a weakling today and I was so digusted with myself for eating that second protein bar. I was just overcome with a craving and I didn't resist the urge. I know that once I really SEE results I generally get better at sticking to diets.

I am planning on making those homemade protein bars once I get my whey. I ordered it last week! I also hope that will make a couple of my meals easier for when I am working 12 hour days with no breaks.

My chest feels good right now, but when I was working out I just felt weak - shakey and unbalanced. I can't wait to feel strong.

[terracotta]

Good news. I had 1500 cals today and lots of protein... the bad news... I ate TWO of those *$&%*$&% protein bars. I am making a vow to not have ANY for the next two days. I am doing so well with not eating bread and sweets, now i just have to get those evil bars OUT of my diet.

Monday April 25th

Intake
Meal 1: "Protein" protein bar
Meal 2: Ground turkey, wrap and carrots
Meal 3: Cottage Cheese & Oatmeal
Meal 4: Genisoy
Meal 5: Tuna and Carrots
Meal 6: Chicken Breasts & Carrots

Total: 1518
Fat: 36 328 22%
Carbs: 107 401 27%
Protein: 184 735 50%


Workout
Bench Press: 25lbsx8x3
Chest Press: 60lbsx6x3
Pec Fly: 37.5lbsx6x3
Overhead Tris: 20x10 | 25x6
Incline Chest Press: 30lbsx10x3
Kickbacks: 8lbsx8x2

10 minutes of HIIT on treadmill (6.0 incline, 7.2 running)

Thoughts
I felt like such a weakling today and I was so digusted with myself for eating that second protein bar. I was just overcome with a craving and I didn't resist the urge. I know that once I really SEE results I generally get better at sticking to diets.

I am planning on making those homemade protein bars once I get my whey. I ordered it last week! I also hope that will make a couple of my meals easier for when I am working 12 hour days with no breaks.

My chest feels good right now, but when I was working out I just felt weak - shakey and unbalanced. I can't wait to feel strong.

Don't worry about the second bar! It must be so hard working 12 hours! Once you can make your homemade ones you'll be all set.

BTW, I'm not much stronger than you. My chest muscles always twitch when they've had enough.. lol.. it never happens with any other muscle.

[Krissypoo]

Good news. I had 1500 cals today and lots of protein... the bad news... I ate TWO of those *$&%*$&% protein bars. I am making a vow to not have ANY for the next two days. I am doing so well with not eating bread and sweets, now i just have to get those evil bars OUT of my diet.


That's great! Don't worry too much about the protein bar. Your macros look fine and once you make your own protein bars the foods will be even cleaner. You are progressing. :) That's got to feel good.

And you will feel stronger, too. Strength gains, just like mass gains, take time. You already know that you are gaining lean body mass and losing fat. Watch your strength go up, too! Just keep overloading your muscles and adding weight and push yourself hard. You've already got the motivation. Now show the weights who the boss really is! :D

[Ballet Teacher]

Well instead of the carrots I had 2 servings of oatmeal. The classes I teach now need me to demonstrate everything as we are learning new material. I think this is why I was so hungry! Today I am going to try to keep the cals lower to compensate.

Monday April 25thwas actually...

Total: 1732
Fat: 40 357 21%
Carbs: 147 568 34%
Protein: 190 758 45%

hmmm... not as bad as I thought. I thought I would end up being closer to 2000.

----

WBM and Terra - I don't know if I could keep positive without you guys!!! I have some good news.... My thighs are almost down a FULL INCH!!! From 22 to 21 in a month. I figured this might happen as when I started I was really quite bloated and eating SO badly. My stomach is DEFINITLY looking different. I can almost see the oblique line all the way to my hips and when I turn sideways the little pouch (or bump actually) is almost flattened out completely.

After reading your posts I am ready to go all out on my back and bi's tonight!! AND to not eat those damn protein bars. Today is mostly cottage cheese and oatmeal. I just grabbed a container of CC and some oatmeal to tote around with me.

I can't wait to make those protein bars... but I will have to see because it is possible they could set me off into binge mode which I have avoided for the past few months. Binging then leads to purging... and I don't want to ever go there again. If the bars don't work out then I will perhaps treat myself to one or two a week and eventually get rid of them entirely.

Question - How much do you think my bodyfat percent could be down by August? I don't mean the most it could be down, just a conservative estimate. I think I am around 20-22 now (133).

[Ballet Teacher]

Tuesday April 26

Meal 1: Oatmeal & CC
Meal 2: Oatmeal & CC
Meal 3: Oatmeal & CC
Meal 4: Oatmeal, ww Wrap, can of tuna and carrots

Total: 1374
Fat: 19 168 13%
Carbs: 143 557 42%
Protein: 151 604 45%

Workout

One Arm Rows - 25# x 6 x 4
Lat Pulldowns - 60# x 6or8 x 4
BB Curls - #20 x 12| x 10| x 8| x 10
Seated Rows - #60 x 6 x 3
Reverse Fly - #30 x 10 x 3

Thoughts
I was barely able to get all that CC and oatmeal down today. I didn't have one break from 8am to 8pm. Luckily in one of my classes I just turned my back while they were in groups and shoveled the CC in. The oatmeal I ate in 3 disgusting gulps. So this will pretty much be the routine for the next 5 weeks. I can't WAIT until after June 4th... I will be FREE!!!

Question - How long should those 5 back/ bi exercises take me? I generally don't rest very long between sets (should I?),

[terracotta]

Tuesday April 26

Meal 1: Oatmeal & CC
Meal 2: Oatmeal & CC
Meal 3: Oatmeal & CC
Meal 4: Oatmeal, ww Wrap, can of tuna and carrots

Total: 1374
Fat: 19 168 13%
Carbs: 143 557 42%
Protein: 151 604 45%

Workout

One Arm Rows - 25# x 6 x 4
Lat Pulldowns - 60# x 6or8 x 4
BB Curls - #20 x 12| x 10| x 8| x 10
Seated Rows - #60 x 6 x 3
Reverse Fly - #30 x 10 x 3

Thoughts
I was barely able to get all that CC and oatmeal down today. I didn't have one break from 8am to 8pm. Luckily in one of my classes I just turned my back while they were in groups and shoveled the CC in. The oatmeal I ate in 3 disgusting gulps. So this will pretty much be the routine for the next 5 weeks. I can't WAIT until after June 4th... I will be FREE!!!

Question - How long should those 5 back/ bi exercises take me? I generally don't rest very long between sets (should I?),

You should rest at least 1.5 min between sets. Check you watch. For me I have to keep track of time or I easily go over 2 min between sets.

[Ballet Teacher]

You should rest at least 1.5 min between sets. Check you watch. For me I have to keep track of time or I easily go over 2 min between sets.

I think I have been waiting more like 45secs to a minute. Could I superset? I get so ansy just standing around. Or maybe I would do the plank in between? Or maybe I should just do nothing because that is best???


Thanks Terra

[Krissypoo]

I think I have been waiting more like 45secs to a minute. Could I superset? I get so ansy just standing around. Or maybe I would do the plank in between? Or maybe I should just do nothing because that is best???


Thanks Terra

I'm like you, I get antsy. When I was doing a split like yours, I would do abs in between sets. I don't think it's a problem, but others may disagree.

[terracotta]

I think I have been waiting more like 45secs to a minute. Could I superset? I get so ansy just standing around. Or maybe I would do the plank in between? Or maybe I should just do nothing because that is best???


Thanks Terra

Superset requires a 2 min break between sets.

You see I do mine at home and go to my computer and type my reps in notepad, then I change the weight on the bar.. or get myself more water.. lol

I like WBM's suggestion. If you get ansy you can do some abs in between. Not on leg day though. I suggest taking the breaks on leg day. I prefer 2 minute breaks for squats and lunges.

[Krissypoo]

I like WBM's suggestion. If you get ansy you can do some abs in between. Not on leg day though. I suggest taking the breaks on leg day. I prefer 2 minute breaks for squats and lunges.

Agreed...definitely not on leg day. Shouldn't be humanly possible :D

[Ballet Teacher]

Wednesday April 27th

Meal 1: "Protein" bar *sigh*
Meal 2: CC & Oatmeal
Meal 3: CC & Oatmeal
Meal 4: CC & Oatmeal
Meal 5: 1 egg & egg whites, carrots

Total: 1430
Fat: 27 240 17%
Carbs: 128 491 36%
Protein: 162 649 47%

Rest day

Thoughts
I am feeling exceptionally negative today due to a 12 hour day again and only a few hours of sleep (thank you very much to my soon to be DH). My weight hasn't budged at all. I know my measurements have gone down slightly but I just want to get under 130 again... I have always felt fine as long as I am under 130. I haven't been doing much cardio at all so I think I will try increasing it slightly. I have sat and sun off so perhaps I will add a longer session on Sat or Sun, plus DH and I will probably go hiking or for a bike ride as well.

I think another reason I am feeling so negative is that it is getting harder to physically make the time to eat my meals and my schedule is just going to get worse and worse until June 4th. I am so glad that next year my schedule won't be this crazy. And of course from June 4th to September I work just under full time hours.

I wish I hadn't gotten that protein bar. I caved because I woke up in the worst mood. I wanted to cry or have a temper tantrum at the thought of getting through today.

---------------

I am going to start timing my rests to make sure they are long enough. It isn't much of an issue on leg day because I usually walk around and shake them out. I think I will do abs on the upperbody days.

Question (again) - How much do you think my bodyfat percent could be down by August? I don't mean the most it could be down, just a conservative estimate. I think I am around 20-22 now (133).

[terracotta]

Hang in there ok. It's only 5 more weeks until the 4th of June. Then you have 2 months to follow a great diet. I'm not sure how much your bf% can drop. Someone else will have to answer that one.

This scale weight thing is very negative for you. Is it possible to hide the scale or does your FH need it out? It would be better if you went entirely by the measuring tape. Remember that muscle is more dense than fat causing you to weigh more while being slimmer and muscle burns calories.

[Ballet Teacher]

Wednesday April 27th

Meal 1: "Protein" bar *sigh*
Meal 2: CC & Oatmeal
Meal 3: CC & Oatmeal
Meal 4: CC & Oatmeal
Meal 5: 1 egg & egg whites, carrots

Total: 1430
Fat: 27 240 17%
Carbs: 128 491 36%
Protein: 162 649 47%


I decided not to have the eggs.

Total: 1294
Fat: 22 194 16%
Carbs: 126 484 39%
Protein: 143 573 46%

[Ballet Teacher]

Hang in there ok. It's only 5 more weeks until the 4th of June. Then you have 2 months to follow a great diet. I'm not sure how much your bf% can drop. Someone else will have to answer that one.

This scale weight thing is very negative for you. Is it possible to hide the scale or does your FH need it out? It would be better if you went entirely by the measuring tape. Remember that muscle is more dense than fat causing you to weigh more while being slimmer and muscle burns calories.

Thanks so much Terra... Jeff (FH) is actually trying to lose weight (already lost 7 pounds), so it is always out. I will try to avoid it until I am sure that I will see results on the scale (and if there aren't any I won't care). I did that last year... actually that is what I am going to do! Thank you for reminding me!

[Krissypoo]

I decided not to have the eggs.

Total: 1294
Fat: 22 194 16%
Carbs: 126 484 39%
Protein: 143 573 46%

Shannon - You can have the whites, they are so good for you! Try not to be so down about this, progress takes time. You are doing such a great job with so many responsibilities on your plate.

If and when you start feeling down, do something for yourself that makes you happy. Buy yourself flowers, curl with with a book or magazine, take a nap, go for a walk with Jeff...whatever it takes to lift your mood.

I don't know how to tell you and make you believe me, but you are doing fantastic. Just listen to your body. And don't worry about the protein bar. You have already made a promise to yourself to make homemade ones once your whey comes.

And RELAX on the weekend! After a week full of 12 hour days, you need it...even if it is doing low intensity cardio. :)

[abbs]

1 inch down on your thighs! WOW !! Thats great news! Keep at it and the progress will keep coming.

And listen to WBM, she is so right! You ARE doing fantastic and you are progressing, thats all you can ask of your body. It is hard to accept sometimes that things dont happen overnight, we all get discouraged and feel impatient and just wish we could wake up and already be at our goal. But everyday you inch closer, and when you arrive at your goal you will really appreciate it because you have worked so hard to get there.

Have a great weekend:)

[Ballet Teacher]

Hang in there ok. It's only 5 more weeks until the 4th of June. Then you have 2 months to follow a great diet. I'm not sure how much your bf% can drop. Someone else will have to answer that one.

This scale weight thing is very negative for you. Is it possible to hide the scale or does your FH need it out? It would be better if you went entirely by the measuring tape. Remember that muscle is more dense than fat causing you to weigh more while being slimmer and muscle burns calories.

Thanks so much Terra... Jeff (FH) is actually trying to lose weight (already lost 7 pounds), so it is always out. I will try to avoid it until I am sure that I will see results on the scale (and if there aren't any I won't care). I did that last year... actually that is what I am going to do! Thank you for reminding me!

Wednesday - added a veggie patty
Total: 1461
Fat: 30 269 19%
Carbs: 135 514 36%
Protein: 157 629 45%

WBM & Abbs - I know WBM is right. You always give such great advice/ encouragement.

[StlBarbie]

Shannon,
You ARE DOING GREAT!!! I totally agree with everyone else: PUT THE SCALE AWAY!! It is NOT an indicator on how you are doing. I weigh 10 pounds more than I did 3 years ago and I still wear the same size clothes! Use the tape measure to track your progress and do your body sculpting! It is a much better indicator as to where your body is going.

Don't beat yourself over the head about the protein bar. My life is busy and hectic as well, there as always times where I am sticking in a protein bar because of the convenience and time factor. It certainly has not held me back!

Most of all Shannon, don't make this stressful for yourself!! Make it a lifestyle .. a hobby ... body sculpting is A LOT of FUN .... enjoy it as such! You will have a lifetime to reap your rewards!!

Keep up the awesome job!

[Ballet Teacher]

I weigh 10 pounds more than I did 3 years ago and I still wear the same size clothes! I think I will stick this somewhere for when I get down about not seeing the scale move. Powells, you are such an inspiration. I have read through your diary and your attitude (and body!!!) are a amazing.


Boy am I hungry today!!! My stomach will not shut up. I woke up and had some egg whites and an egg, and oatmeal. Then I had a protein bar 3 hours later. Now it is 1pm and time for meal #3 but I am FAMISHED. I haven't been this hungry in a few weeks. This is the type of hunger where I could go out and eat a big restaurant meal and not feel stuffed after. Weird.

Today is shoulders!! I love shoulders. I may also do HIIT, it depends if I can fit it in because I want to do my workout before I go teach so when I am done at 8pm I can just go home.

[terracotta]

That happened to me the last 2 days. Maybe its contagious lol.. actually it was pms hunger for me.

[Ballet Teacher]

That happened to me the last 2 days. Maybe its contagious lol.. actually it was pms hunger for me.

No PMS hunger for me. Yeah!! no PMS for another couple weeks. I might eat around 1600 today. I just had a can of tuna and 250 cals worth of oatmeal.... still hungry!!!

If this is contagious... please stop posting here and giving me your hunger pains! I don't want your darn hunger!!! (hehe!)

Mmm... how come I see some people using smilies in their posts. I just can't adequatly express myself without a smiley or two!

[Krissypoo]

Looks like someone is in a great mood today and has some serious motivation. I love it! Can I borrow a little? ;) I feel like I need a nap right now!

You're hungry a lot...with any luck, it's because your metabolism is speeding up!

[Ballet Teacher]

Looks like someone is in a great mood today and has some serious motivation. I love it! Can I borrow a little? ;) I feel like I need a nap right now!

You're hungry a lot...with any luck, it's because your metabolism is speeding up!

Don't you sometimes just wish you could nap AND workout at the same time. But seriously what will make you feel best in the end. WORKING OUT!!

[MsJewels]

I am planning on making those homemade protein bars once I get my whey. I ordered it last week! I also hope that will make a couple of my meals easier for when I am working 12 hour days with no breaks.
Hello!

Just curious, did you ever try the homemade protein bars?

[Ballet Teacher]

Hello!

Just curious, did you ever try the homemade protein bars?

Well the Whey arrived on Tuesday but the darn place I have to pick it up from is open from 9-6pm and seeing as I work from 8am to 7:30pm... ya. I am going to make them on the weekend! I am thinking if needed I can keep them at work because I won't pig out on them here.

[StlBarbie]

Thanks Shannon! I love your journal.... you are so straightforward with what is going on in your head ... that is so....... cool!!

Hunger can be a good thing .. I agree with WBM ... shows that metabolism of yours is kicking in!!!

Great job .. !!!

[Ballet Teacher]

Thanks Shannon! I love your journal.... you are so straightforward with what is going on in your head ... that is so....... cool!!

Thanks Powells!! That totally made my day. (where is that beaming smiley when you need it!)

Thursday April 28

Intake
Meal 1: 1 egg, .5 egg whites, oatmeal
Meal 2: BioProtein
Meal 3: CC & Oatmeal
*workout*
Meal 4: CC & Apple
Meal 5: Lean ground turkey 5oz & ww wrap, carrots and oatmeal

Total: 1453
Fat: 32 284 20%
Carbs: 136 545 38%
Protein: 150 598 42%


Workout

DB Military Press: 30lbs (15/arm) x 8 x 4
Lat Raises: 8lbs x 10 x 3
Front Raise: 8lbs x 10 x 3
Shoulder Press: 40lbs x 8 x 3
Reverse Fly: 30lbs x 10 x 3

(abs and stretching during rest)

30 minutes on elliptical

Thoughts
I am back to feeling very positive. I could see a difference in my arms and chest without a doubt today in my upper body. YEAH!

[Ballet Teacher]

I just got back from the gym and had an awesome leg workout!! I officially love SLDL. I did 195lbs on the seated leg press which was a personal best for me. Last week I did 175 and there was no way I was going heavier. I can't wait to break into the 200s!!

So the best part was when I was in the change room. The lighting in there really shows off your muscles (or fat). I bent over and this tendony thing popped out the side of my back. I was like "wait a minute". So I tried flexing and out it popped again. Then I turned about and had a look and I good SEE the different muscles in my back. Only when I flexed and only in the right light... but still!!! A month ago there was nothing to be seen. Needless to say I am in an awesome mood today!!

[StlBarbie]

So cool Shannon!!! There is nothing more rewarding than actually seeing the results of your dedication!! It is so.......fun when you start getting your 'highs' off the results you are seeing vs. the scale!!! It is so.. liberating and the payoff is so.......much greater!!!

Congrats on those presses!!!

[Krissypoo]

More progress...look at you! You are kicking butt! Keep up the good work! You are working out with intensity, your calories are coming up :D, and you are super motivated. I'm loving this!

[terracotta]

I just got back from the gym and had an awesome leg workout!! I officially love SLDL. I did 195lbs on the seated leg press which was a personal best for me. Last week I did 175 and there was no way I was going heavier. I can't wait to break into the 200s!!

So the best part was when I was in the change room. The lighting in there really shows off your muscles (or fat). I bent over and this tendony thing popped out the side of my back. I was like "wait a minute". So I tried flexing and out it popped again. Then I turned about and had a look and I good SEE the different muscles in my back. Only when I flexed and only in the right light... but still!!! A month ago there was nothing to be seen. Needless to say I am in an awesome mood today!!

This is great Shannon! Your enthusiasm just made my day. :D

[vanessa40]

Shannon,
I'm trying not to weigh myself so much either..it was the first thing i would do every morning..now i'm down to once a week..i like going by how my clothes fit me..keep up the great work.. :)

Vanessa

[Ballet Teacher]

Results from mybodycomp.com

Body Weight Breakdown:
Total Weight: 133lbs
Lean Body Mass: 104.8lbs
Fat Mass: 28.2 lbs

Your Metabolism
Resting Metabolic Rate 1398 cals/day
Lifestyle Calories 908 cals/day
Total Daily Calories: 2306 cals/day

Your Measurments
Waist 26in
Abdomen 29
Hips 35
Thigh 23
Knee 13.5
Calf 14.5
Neck 12
Ankle7.75
Shoulders 37.9
Arm 9.49
Chest 33
Forearm 8.3
Wrist 5.5


So basically if I maintain my lean muscle, I need to lose about 8 pounds of fat to get to 16% bf. This would take me to 125 pounds which is where I have always felt the most comfortable. I figure I will probably gain a bit of lean and will end up being a slightly higher weight at 16%.

I just realized today that my stats are very close to Ivey Itchs when she was the same weight as me (we are almost the same height). I believe she is around 127 now with BF in the mid teens - exactly my goal. It is so motivating being able to look at her pics and know that if I work REALLY hard I could get there too.

[Ballet Teacher]

Friday April 29

Intake
Meal 1: Veggie Cutlet (bad choice)
Meal 2: BioProtein (making my own bars tommorow!)
Meal 3: CC & Oatmeal
Meal 4: CC & Oatmeal
Meal 5: ground turkey & ww wrap
Treat: .5 bag of doritos

Total: 1523
Fat: 51 458 30%
Carbs: 133 518 34%
Protein: 132 527 35%

Workout
SLDL - 10 reps x 4 sets
Ballet Squats - 10 x 3
Leg Press - 6 x 3 (195lbs! Personal best)
Leg Ext - 10 x 3
Leg Curl - 10 x 3
Single Leg Lunges - can't remember... but I did them until my legs were twitching and I had to give up

20 mins on elliptical - low setting (this was supposed to be a 5 minute warmup... opps)

Thoughts

I am just LOVING my workouts now, but I also feel like I am not doing enough. I think I will pretty much stick to what I am doing until June when things calm down and I can really commit. I am pretty depressed about my eating. It could be SO much better but I just don't have the drive right now to make BIG changes. For now what I am doing is a big improvement and I just have to remind myself that come June I will have the time and energy to take my diet to the next level. I did get some ON Whey Protein today! It tastes GOOD!!! (well except for any remaining chunks... gross). I am going to make my own protein bars tomorrow morning. I am also going to hardboil a bunch of eggs so I can eat the egg whites and not have to cook them.

I had a cheat yesterday (Friday) but tonight is my planned cheat. We were planning on going out for a yummy fat filled dinner but decided to just have maybe a chocolate bar and split a bag of doritos. I am not craving junk as much and I hope with time my cheats will become fewer, or healthier.

Jeff is going to join the GYM! He has already lost 2 inches off his waist. I did a body comp for him and he is DEFINITLY skinny fat (I already knew that though). He is 21% fat, and is almost in the EXTREME high risk for waist to hip but is almost underweight in the bodymass index. I can't wait to get him into lifting. It is going to be so fun watching out bodys change together!

I am taking pictures tonight so I will be able to see the change... and show you guys!

Negative Thoughts... I hate my thighs. Is it possible for my upper body to be much lower fat then my legs? I think my legs are about 25% and my upper body is around 18ish... The thing is my legs have good muscle on them too from years of dancing. I just need the fat OFF.

I feel like my diet isn't good enough. I used to eat chocolate and bagels and that was about it and I lost lots of weight on that, but this is so different. Everyday I compare what I am eating to others and I get depressed because I know I won't get good results eating like this. I have to up my commitment to this - that is the bottom line.

[Ballet Teacher]

Opps! I was so wrapped up in ME I forgot to thank you guys for you fantastic posts. It just brightens my day when I get posts in here that make me even MORE motivated!

[StlBarbie]

Shannon,

First of all, I would not put a lot of stock into the bodyfat % that bodycomp gives you but for long term tracking of progress, it can be a helpful tool!

Yes, lower bodyfat can definitely be higher than upper bodyfat. For most women this is the last area to lean out!

Just keep up the great wo's, EAT CLEAN, and the lower body will really lean down. Patience and dedication Shannon will get you whereever you want to go!

Your stats look great ... !! Congrats!!!

[terracotta]

Hi Shannon. You are so good at articulating your thoughts! You are doing great. Don't get down about your diet vs. other peoples, your schedule is crazy for another month. I'm so glad you are doing well and being fairly positive. I think most of us have higher bf in the hips and thighs, so yes this is normal. It'll go down you just have to give it time. You've already made great progress in a short period of time.

[abbs]

Im another one with low upper bodyfat and high lower bodyfat. It can be so frustrating at times when progress just doesnt seem to happen quickly enough!!!

But like you, Im also keeping positive that it will eventually come down.

We CAN DO IT!

[Ballet Teacher]

I am glad it isn't just me with fatter hips and thighs - abbs you are right. We CAN do it!! I never take my own advice but I would say to you that if you are patient your legs WILL improve!!

I know that mybodycomp won't give me a very accurate reading but judging from past bodyfat tests and what I look like now I think it is pretty close, and I am going to keep plugging in my measurements (maybe every other week) to track my progress.

So... I pretty much binged last night. Not an ED binge, but definitly a normal person binge. YIKES! I am not going to beat myself up over it too much because really what good is that going to do? It is a new month today and I am going to start having ONE "cheat treat" a week which will be on Saturday nights. On the 14th I am going out for dinner with my parents and Jeff's parents so I will have a "cheat meal" then and again on the weekend of June 4th.

I made MsJewels protein bars this morning because i finally got my WHEY! Opps I already said that in an early post. But I am SO happy it isn't gross tasting. I think I might try it in the blender with half ice half skim... instead of those yummy frappuccinos.

I feel more motivated now than ever... I think it might be a combination of the new month, the awesome encouraging replys I have been getting, the fact I see and FEEL results AND the fact that Jeff is going to join the gym and work towards changing his body too!

To be totally honest this is the happiest I have been for an extended period of time in years... I have battled depression since I was 15 and once I hit my 20s I was rarely not depressed/ eating disordered. The bottom line is that even if my body stays exactly as it is this way of eating and approach to fitness makes me happy and therefore I want to stick to it. I truly feel that not only will my body improve with this but so will my mind and level of happiness. I never want to go back to feeling sorry for myself and feeling fat all the time - it gets you no where. Ok enough of that.

[Ballet Teacher]

Sunday April 30th - binge day

Intake
Meal 1: All bran with skim/ 1tbsp PB
Meal 2: Cottage Cheese, & Orange Juice*
*I have been sick so I really was craving some OJ
*cardio*
Meal 3: half a serving of whey protein w skim
The Binge:
Chicken Breast
1.5 pints of beer (Mmmmm it was worth it)
.5 bag of doritos (small bag)
1 Jersey Milk
2 ww wraps with PB - this was totally uncalled for!! I was inebriated and my resolve went straight out the window - and yes 1.5 pints gets me mighty tipsy!!

Workout
45 minutes on lifefitness elliptcal (heart rate 135-150)

Thoughts
I can't say I regret the beer. It won't be a weekly habit but once a month Jeff and I like to go out and have a pint - we had such a great time. I do regret those wraps and some choices I made. Today I am going to try to keep my cals lower and protein higher. I have been thinking about my diet... and thinking that I would really like to look good for the show at the end of the month. I am going to read the boards/ articles today to get some ideas. I also want to look at reworking the way I have my program set up. I don't like being off on the weekends... I know i am super busy this month but it is warm and sunny out and so much easier to deal with stress. I want to try to step it up a notch. I would like to see my waist down to 25 by the end of the month.

Question - Lets say mybodycomp is right and I am about 21% fat with 105 pounds of lean mass. Would it be very hard to focus mostly on losing the fat and if I happened to gain lean mass that would be fine... but to make my focus fat loss for now? I know i keep bringing this up but until the wedding I don't want to focus on gaining muscle - once September comes I will be open to adding on some lean. So... if I AM going to put the focus on fat loss do I change my program... should I be leaning towards a cutting diet? Could I try carb cycling this month? Am I putting too much thought into this? Am I sounding like a complete idiot asking these questions?? Thanks in advance!

[StlBarbie]

Shannon,

First of all, I NEVER regret the BEER!!! :D Okay, maybe sometimes, but not often!!! LOL

I am very glad you are happy and enjoying this!!! That is truly what is going to make it a life sytle choice and something that you can stick with! It is suppose to be fun and rewarding!!! :)

You are having success with the diet and program you are following now! I would not worry too much about switching things up since you are currently making progress in the direction that you want to go!

Forgive me for not wanting to look back, but when is the actual date of the wedding?? You are going to be one HOT bride!!!!!!

Damn, I wasn't even born with a 25" waist .... "green eyes"!!!!!

[Ballet Teacher]

It is on August 27th!!!

Since Terra posted her gown here is mine! (this is just the sample and was flattened out.) That is me in the gown... and the bust is WAY too big and looks deformed in the pic.

[StlBarbie]

Oh Shannon ... it is a GORGEOUS gown!!! What classic taste you have!!! I absolutely LOVE it and you look hot in it right now!!! Are you having bridesmaids and if so.. what color are they wearing???

[terracotta]

That dress is so pretty! The bust of mine looked deformed too and then an older sales lady came over with 2 sets of padding to put in it so I could see it properly.

[Ballet Teacher]

Oh Shannon ... it is a GORGEOUS gown!!! What classic taste you have!!! I absolutely LOVE it and you look hot in it right now!!! Are you having bridesmaids and if so.. what color are they wearing???

Thank you so much! Sometimes I start to second guess my choice but when you say "classic" and "hot"... well I feel confident again!

Here is one of my sisters in the bridesmaids gown. I wanted them to be able to wear it again. When you see the BM dress nexted to an ivory gown it looks really pretty.

My colours are green and turquoise.

I also included a pic of me to put a face to the name.

[abbs]

Thanks for posting those pics, you look beautiful! Your wedding is months away and you already look fantastic!!

It looks like you have a very similar physique to me, your upper body looks like mine, very slim. If you are going to focus just on losing fat then that would involve cutting your calories which I think are already quite low and your body may slow down your metabolism and just hold onto the fat. My two cents is that you should keep going as you are, you are not eating sufficient calories to gain a lot of lean mass anyway and the key to losing that lower body fat is to keep your metabolism going. That involves keeping your cals a little bit under maintenance level, lots of heavy lifting and a good clean diet.

[Ballet Teacher]

Thanks for posting those pics, you look beautiful! Your wedding is months away and you already look fantastic!!

It looks like you have a very similar physique to me, your upper body looks like mine, very slim. If you are going to focus just on losing fat then that would involve cutting your calories which I think are already quite low and your body may slow down your metabolism and just hold onto the fat. My two cents is that you should keep going as you are, you are not eating sufficient calories to gain a lot of lean mass anyway and the key to losing that lower body fat is to keep your metabolism going. That involves keeping your cals a little bit under maintenance level, lots of heavy lifting and a good clean diet.

Thanks for the input abbs. I did some reading today and after that and what you wrote I have decided to keep doing what I am doing but just try to improve the quality of my diet. Once I get closer to the wedding I may need to look into doing carb cycling or something... Thanks so much for the compliments, they made me smile!

[StlBarbie]

Shannon,
You are so........ pretty ... you look just like a ballet teacher, all delicate and softly shaped!! Your fiancee is a very lucky man, and you can tell him I said so!! :)

I love the bridesmaid dress - it is unique in design and pattern, and compliments your bridal gown perfectly!!

I can hardly wait to see the wedding pics!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

Keep up the awesome job Shannon!!!!

[abbs]

Sounds good Shannon, I think saving the carb cycling for closer to the wedding is a great idea. In the meantime the clean diet is going to be a major factor in getting the results you want.

And I agree with powells you do look like just like I imagine a ballet teacher to look, very delicate and graceful. And I think you look lean already in that wedding dress!

[Ballet Teacher]

Sunday May 1

Intake
Meal 1: Homemade Protein Bar (yum!)
Meal 2: lean ground turkey & ww wraps
Meal 3: Cottage Cheese, .5 ww with PB
Meal 4: half serving whey & skim
Meal 5: 6oz chicken, brown rice
Meal 6: 2 ww wrap w PB (unplanned... grrrr...)

Total: 1422
Fat: 56 506 36%
Carbs: 97 371 26%
Protein: 134 535 38%


Workout
30 minutes elliptical (HR - 150)
Various weights - the weight room was empty & I was there with Jeff so I tried out some things that I am usually to shy too. I love the cable machine!!


Here are a few pics I did today to track my progress. The full body ones are quite disturbing and I won't be posting those until they become the "before's". I have posted one pic of my thighs. becaues I think you can see why they upset me so much

[StlBarbie]

You are definitely your own worst critic!!!! Shannon, you look wonderful right now ... could certainly add some lean mass but you ARE NOT FAT!!!!!

One hot bride .... girl.....!!!!!! Just keep doing what you are doing ... it can only get better!!!!

Great job! Glad you enjoyed the cables ... I LOVE the cables!!!

Thanks for posting all your pics today ... I have really enjoyed them.

[abbs]

You look great in those pictures!! You are already looking lean (all over!) so no need to be so hard on yourself! If those are your `before` pics then just imagine what will happen if you keep up the great work. You have 4 months, thats plenty of time considering your wonderful starting point!

[terracotta]

Hi Shannon. WOW. Your lower body looks pretty lean to me! My quads are nowhere near that lean nor my abdomen! And you have a lot of quality muscle. Your definition is really great! Keep up the hard work. I think you should just continue with what you've been doing. It seems to be working!

Oh, and my thighs are thicker than that! Yours aren't bad at all. Heavy sumo squats will tighten them up.

[Krissypoo]

Your photos are great! You do not need to worry about losing more fat right now. You are already quite lean. Just keep working hard and lifting heavy. You look great now and will look even better in 4 months. Be proud of yourself!

[Briar]

god you look really good already, and dont tell yourself otherwise. Just keep at it and things can only get better from now on. Wish i had your body!!

[Ivey_Itch]

You look great! What are you complaining about!! :D You don't have any fat on you! Your lean! Just keep lifting and you'll get more defined! But you already are a hottie!

[Ballet Teacher]

Well I read some of the replys last night and the rest right now. I am SO motivated now. I literally popped right out of bed and thought "CHEST DAY!". After the kind words from all of you I don't feel I have quite so far to go. It is funny... I have spent my entire life thinking I am fat - even when I was 15 pounds thinner than in these pictures, and now I look at the pics and thing "jesh my arms look scrawny!". Mind you my legs are another story but a year ago I was aiming for 8 inch arms. It is amazing how much can change in a year.

Well Terra, you know now i will be doing sumo squats (those are the ballet style ones right?) until I pass out on legs days! Can anyone else recommend anything for legs?

Cardio Question - last year I did... well usually at least 2 hours of cardio a day. My thighs were pretty tight and about 3 inches smaller (before the ED recovery weight gain). My ultimate goal is to one day have slim hard legs like Ivey_Itch has now. That is about 4 inches to lose! How does 2 days of HIIT and 2 or 3 of moderate level cardio sound? Do you really think this will be a bad idea? I haven't lost any weight since I started so I can't be eating up lean mass with what I am doing. I just have this gut feeling that a bit more cardio might be good now. I did two cardio this sessions on the weekend and they felt amazing.

I am SOOOO excited to work my butt off (literally) in May and see if anything changes. I know in a month I won't see big changes but I think there should be a slight change, especially now with my commitment level increasing.

[Paichka]

Shannon,

I missed your pictures the first time around and I wanted to add in my two cents that you dress is beautiful and your bridesmaids are going to be the envy of all girls who've ever been in a wedding where the bridesmaids dresses were ugly. :) So pretty! The colors are lovely, so fresh, like a garden.

I think your cardio sounds just right. That's pretty much what I do...just make sure that if you start to feel your weights suffering or your energy level flagging, you make sure your schedule is flexible enough to let you cut back. If you're going to increase your cardio as well, you might need to have a higher carbohydrate percentage to your meal plan also. I usually eat about 45-50%C a day, more if my run is going to be over 45 minutes to an hour.

Just keep an eye on yourself, you're your own best judge of how you're feeling.

But overall, fantastic! I love reading your journal, you're so precise. My journal is a big old jumble of whatever...yours is straightforward and easy to follow and very interesting because we can see what's going on inside your head.

Nice to know you, chica :)
Sunny

[Ballet Teacher]

Paichka - I am so glad you said the dresses look "fresh" that is exactly what I was going for! I will watch my carbs... although my diet has pretty much always been about 70% carbs, 20% fat and 10% protein.. YIKES! It would never cross my mind to make sure I am getting enough carbs but I will watch it from now on on my longer cardio days! You know this might sound crazy but I am even more flattered by the comments about my journal being easy to read and stuff then I am about my pictures! I always think I make no sense whatsoever. Perhaps years of posting on various forums has helped me express myself a bit better!

I am SOOO mad at myself. I forgot my meal #2 for after my workout. I have sworn off protein bars but it was either a protein bar or starve. Oh well...

[terracotta]

Sumo squats are plie squats with a bar across your back instead of dumbbell between your thighs. Either one is good, I just have trouble holding heavy dumbbells.

[vanessa40]

Shonnon,
I love your wedding gown..it's beautiful..and so are you..i love reading your journal..you are very honest about your feelings..i need to be more like that..anyway..you sound like you are doing great..hey i made my own protein bars last night..have not tried them yet..i'll let you know..i hope they are good..i'm really tired of paying 2 dollars a bar...geez..

Vanessa

[Ballet Teacher]

Sumo squats are plie squats with a bar across your back instead of dumbbell between your thighs. Either one is good, I just have trouble holding heavy dumbbells.

Me too... yet I also have trouble lifting the BB up to my back! I guess that is where the smith machine or squat rack comes in handy??


I love your wedding gown..it's beautiful..and so are you..i love reading your journal..you are very honest about your feelings..i need to be more like that..anyway..you sound like you are doing great..hey i made my own protein bars last night..have not tried them yet..i'll let you know..i hope they are good..i'm really tired of paying 2 dollars a bar...geez..

Which ones did you make? I made MsJewels and they are pretty good. Jeff liked them and he is pretty picky! The protein bars here usually cost over $3!! Thanks for the compliments too.. *blush*

[terracotta]

[QUOTE=Ballet Teacher]Me too... yet I also have trouble lifting the BB up to my back! I guess that is where the smith machine or squat rack comes in handy??
QUOTE]

Yeah. Use a squat rack if they have one. You'll love it trust me! I've never had problems with men in the univ. gym when I went. Most of them I think were happy to see a girl using the squat rack.

If they don't have a squat rack the smith machine is very helpful.

[vanessa40]

I made the bars that MsJewels made also..i will save a ton of money..when i looked back over how much i was spending on protein bars i almost died..i usually have one a day..sometimes two on the weekends when i'm on the run and don't want to stop and eat fast food..that was about 10 bars a week and like you they are about 2-3 dollars a pop..i think i'll be making my own now..

Vanessa

[Ballet Teacher]

PHEW!! My journal almost got bumped to the second page!!! Oh the horror!! he, he,

Monday May 2

Intake
Meal 1: ww wrap/ PB
Meal 2: BioProtein (I forgot my meal at home!)
Meal 3: Lean ground turkey, ww wrap "Turkey Burrito"
Meal 4: 2oz chicken, .75 CC, carrots
Meal 5: Homemade Protein Bar (MsJewels)
Meal 6: Turkey Burrito (soooooo yummy)
Bad me: ww wrap/ PB

Total: 1702
Fat: 60 542 32%
Carbs: 137 527 31%
Protein: 157 627 37%


Workout - Chest & Tris

DB Benchpress: 4 sets of 8 reps
DB Incline Press: 3 sets of 6
Machine Flys: 3 sets of 8
Chest Press: 2 sets of 8 reps
DB Benchpress: 2 sets of 6
Overhead Tris: 3 sets of 8
Seated Dip: 3 sets of 8

I really wanted to do my tris with the rope attachement on the cable machine, but this obnoxious woman took the thing over from the time I started my Flys until I left. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.....

Thoughts
I felt stronger today!! I worked hard on all my weights but I didn't sweat or feel much later on. I was shaking a lot when I first finished. I think next week I will up my bench press to an amazing 40 pounds... my strength just astonishes me sometimes (haha). Tomorrow is shoulders. I LOVE shoulders!!! I especially love them because they are the muscle group that has the least amount of fat covering them so I can really see the muscles work. Plus they are showing the most improvement.

I am in an awesome mood today!

[terracotta]

Hi Shannon. I'm glad your having a good day! I started really low on the bench press too. You are doing great!

[StlBarbie]

You are doing great!!! Keep up the good work!!!!!!!!!!

[shann]

I just have to say, as Shannon's (best) friend, maitron of honour in her wedding and someone who has known her struggles over the past years... you all are amazing. Your encouragement has given her so much already, and Shannon deserves it.

I read this thread as much for her updates as I do for all the encouragement I see here. I am quite in awe of it.

Shan, good luck sweetheart, you are doing so AMAZING. I am inspired by you.

[Krissypoo]

I just have to say, as Shannon's (best) friend, maitron of honour in her wedding and someone who has known her struggles over the past years... you all are amazing. Your encouragement has given her so much already, and Shannon deserves it.

I read this thread as much for her updates as I do for all the encouragement I see here. I am quite in awe of it.

Shan, good luck sweetheart, you are doing so AMAZING. I am inspired by you.

That is soooo sweet! What a good friend you have, Shannon! You've got some serious support. Between your best friend and us, you will NOT fail.

Keep that positive attitude and the good work going. You're doing great!

[abbs]

Hi Shannon, so cool you are feeling stronger and positive! Yippee! Its great to see you progressing and most importantly that you are feeling great about yourself. And what an awesome best friend you have. Not only are you getting a lot of support but you are inspiring others with your efforts :)

Im wondering if doing shoulders after chest day might be too soon? I think its best to put at least two days between chest and shoulders, as your shoulders take a good pounding in all those chest exercises.

[Ballet Teacher]

I just have to say, as Shannon's (best) friend, maitron of honour in her wedding and someone who has known her struggles over the past years... you all are amazing. Your encouragement has given her so much already, and Shannon deserves it.

I read this thread as much for her updates as I do for all the encouragement I see here. I am quite in awe of it.

Shan, good luck sweetheart, you are doing so AMAZING. I am inspired by you.

Shann... you are the best. Thank you for this post... I wish you would be as kind to yourself as you are to me. You deserve it. Please don't give up... Plus soon you will finally be in your awesome townhouse and will be right next to a wicked gym! I am so excited for you!

[Ballet Teacher]

I'm wondering if doing shoulders after chest day might be too soon? I think its best to put at least two days between chest and shoulders, as your shoulders take a good pounding in all those chest exercises.

Actually I was wondering the same thing... this is why I think I need to rework my program. Right now I am on a 4 day split (chest/tris | shoulders | back/ bis | legs). I originally wanted to do all my lifting on the weekdays so I could potentially take the weekends off if needed. Now i am thinking about doing a program that follows a cycling schedule rather than a weekly one. I just have to find the time to do some reading!

------------------

So I am about 40 pages into this book called "How We Choose to be Happy." I know it sounds a bit cheesy but it is really inspiring me. There are supposedly 9 important choices that happy people make. The first choice is "intention". Happy people INTEND to be happy. There was one story about a woman who spent a couple mintutes each morning to decide on her intention for the day. I loved that idea. So today I intend to be patient no matter what - no matter how frustrated I get with being thrown 8 hours of work to do in 3, or how crazy my students get because they are so excited to be learning their performance piece, I must be patient.

You might wonder why I am rambling on about happiness in a bodybuilding journal, but I keep reading that if you are stressed and unhappy your body will hold onto fat - especially abdominal fat apparently?!. Anyways I want it OFF so if being happy helps even a tiny bit that is what I need to do. Not to mention it actually feels pretty good being happy!

[Ivey_Itch]

http://www.lessons4living.com/relaxation.htm
Ok.. i'm eating my oats..so it's OK that i'm not studying..lol.. but I just popped in and saw that last little bit about "choosing" to be happy and stuff.. well.. this is something I did when i taught a parenting class for my internship.. you can DL a 12 minute relaxation method thingy.. it's kinda corny.. BUT IT WORKS.. it shows how We are in control of our feelings.. and How we can cause and release stress.. It you want something theraputic .. Try it out! I need to do it more often! :D

[Ballet Teacher]

http://www.lessons4living.com/relaxation.htm
Ok.. i'm eating my oats..so it's OK that i'm not studying..lol.. but I just popped in and saw that last little bit about "choosing" to be happy and stuff.. well.. this is something I did when i taught a parenting class for my internship.. you can DL a 12 minute relaxation method thingy.. it's kinda corny.. BUT IT WORKS.. it shows how We are in control of our feelings.. and How we can cause and release stress.. It you want something theraputic .. Try it out! I need to do it more often! :D

Thanks Kim! I am going to DL it when I get home today... I am definitly going to need it in the next couple weeks!

[Ballet Teacher]

Tuesday May 3
Meal 1: CC and oats
Meal 2: turkey burrito
Meal 3: chicken breast and carrots
Meal 4: Protein Bar
Meal 5: Eggs (1 egg with egg whites)

Total: 1186
Fat: 39 355 30%
Carbs: 88 347 30%
Protein: 115 461 40%

Workout
Deadlifts - 4 sets, 12 reps (they didn't have a heavy enough barbell)
One arm rows - 4 sets x 6 reps
Lat Pulldowns - 4 sets x 7 reps
Seated Rows - 3 sets x 6
Back Extention! - 4 sets x 8
BB Curls - 2 sets x 8 (OUCH... in a bad way)
Seated Curls - 3 sets x 10

In my gym they have two gorgeous rooms with tons of cardio equipment, lots of weight machines and some free weights, balls, etc... Then there is this almost hidden room where they hardcore GUYS go. It is ugly and there are only ever guys in it. That is where the squat rack is, and the heavy barbells for things like deadlifts. I just walked through yesterday and the guys all stared at me. It is ridiculous that they have the equipment set up that way so that someone like me feels out of place in the free weights room. I think in a month I will get a PT to take me through the room so I am confident. Right now I just don't feel confident enough.

When I do barbell curls my left wrist hurts SO badly. It feels like one of my wrist bones might dislocate and there is a snapping happening in there (like tendon over bone). It REALLY hurts. What am I doing wrong? The weight isn't too heavy!

Thoughts
Yesterday was the first true crazy May day. I worked 8am to 12am... but did squeeze the gym in. I tried to be patient... but I swear that the world through every possible scenario to try to make me impatient! It was unbelievable...
1. My senior kindergarten ballet class was BONKERS! Usually they are angels but yesterday was the worst they have ever been.
2. Various issues at my ballet admin job... Lets just say they wanted me to do something that takes about 12 hours in one day because they are too disorganized to get their acts together - but I got it done!
3. As I was leaving to go pick one of my students up (why I agreed to this is beyond me), my protein shake exploded in my bag. I almost immediatly started cursing bodybuilding.com only to realize that you have to punch the top to make it close properly. A snap is not sufficient.
4. For some reason I decided to choreograph a dance on 20 7-10 year olds... with TAMBOURINES!
5. When I got to the gym there where a high number of equipment hogs, and I couldn't get on the cable machine again. As well I was so pissed when I realized the heaviest barbell they had was 40 pounds!!

Good news is I stayed pretty calm through it all. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE back extentions. I generally don't feel much in my back on back days but boy did I feel those!!!

Jeff joined the gym too!! He is so motivated now! It is funny because he could come post in here and fit in much better than on the regular boards. He doesn't want to get bulky... he is nervous to lift heavy... he wants to get 'skinny'... However... last night he was watching me and decided he needs to get 'buff' because he can't look whimpy next to his future wife!

Wednesdays Intention - look on the bright side

[Ballet Teacher]

May 4, 2005

Meal 1: Protein Bar
Meal 2: CC & Oatmeal
Meal 3: Turkey Burrito/ 1 tbsp of PB (not planned), carrots
Meal 4: Chicken breast, carrots
Meal 5: 1 egg, egg whites, .5 wrap w PB (not planned)

Total: 1275
Fat: 45 401 32%
Carbs: 93 353 28%
Protein: 124 496 40%

Rest Day

Thoughts: I have resovled myself to the fact that my diet just isn't going to be up to par for this month. Usually when I realize something like this I start pigging out or eating very little (but crap) and not trying at all. I am going to do the best that I can. I am seeing results and my diet hasn't been great. By the time the month is over cleaning up my diet will probably be a big help as my progress starts to level off.

My stomach is really changing. I used to have this little lump of fat under my belly button and I couldn't see ANY muscles. It is very obvious to me that fat has come off my stomach. I think that by the end of the month there will be a noticable difference (at least to me).

Question - I never bother much with abs because I always have fat on top of them. Even when my waist was 24 inches there were no muscles showing because there was fat on top. I have been doing the stomach vacuum on and off for years without knowing it. We were taught as dancers to firstly hold the abs in when dancing, but also to suck it in say... as you walked from the subway, home, or as you sat on the bus etc... I have been doing the vacuums when I remember, so several times a week. Anyways, should I do some ab exercises or can I just wait until I get leaner? I hate the thought of spending 30 minutes doing endless crunches (like in those videos). I sometimes use the medicine ball and carry it from one side of my body to the next, I like doing the oblique machine at the gym a lot, and the crunch machine as well.

I am still hoping someone might give me some insight as to why my wrist hurts so badly when I do curls with the barbell.

[abbs]

Hi Shannon,

I had a look on the internet and I think its not unusual to get sore wrists doing curls with a barbell. There was no explanation as to why this happens, but people suggest using an E-Z curl bar or dumbells. I think its because the barbell doesn't allow your wrists to move naturally, and thats where dumbells are better.

Here is a link about bicep training from bodybuilding.com

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/south24.htm

[terracotta]

And here is Emma's post about ab exercises:

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showpost.php?p=5471278&postcount=3

Crunches apparently aren't all that useful which is great because most of us hate doing them. I've gotten a bit of a core from the indirect work already.

[StlBarbie]

Shannon,
I have definitely built a very strong core and hard abdominals from deadlifts, squats, good mornings, and other compound moves. I do have a thick core however and try to keep the waistline with the stomach vacs. I personally am not a big fan of crunches but I do lke the wtd. cable crunch ... that one I really feel and have had some great results since adding it!! I also love doing the plank .. and really feel my abs kick in on that one!

Glad to see you took a rest day .. you have certainly worked hard and deserve it!!

[mizone]

Hi Shannon,

I just read the post you left in Vanilla Beans's journal and felt moved by it *warm fuzzies* hehe Seriously sounds like you have been through a lot and are starting to deal with it really well. I have had lots of issues lately to, just wondering if you could let me know the author of that book you mentioned? Thanks and keep at it!

[Ballet Teacher]

Abs, Terra, and Powells, thank you for the links and info! I do think that the barbell just isn;t letting my wrist move naturally. I will just go back to dumbells I think... I just felt so "tough" using the barbell. *razz* Terra & Powells you have actually motivated me to work my abs more, just from posting about them. I did stomach vacs last night actually.

Mizone, "How we Choose to Be Happy" is by Richard Foster, Greg Hicks. I just discovered they have a little website www.choosetobehappy.com I am sorry that you have been having a rough time lately... I really think this book could be very helpful to anyone who is open to it. It made feel so good this morning to read the first sentance of your post. Sometimes when you make a post like that you start wondering why you bothered... but now I feel like there was a reason.

Thursday May 6

Meal 1: Protein Bar
Meal 2: CC & Oatmeal
Meal 3: Chicken & Carrots
Meal 4: CC & Oatmeal
Meal 4: Protein Bar & PB

Total: 1389
Fat: 34 303 22%
Carbs: 141 562 41%
Protein: 123 494 36%

Unplanned Rest Day

Thoughts My workload and schedule is getting worse. Last night I was up past midnight working and I had to get up today at 5am to work before I go to work. There are so many things going on right now I ALMOST feel like crying and having a breakdown... but what good would that do? I just have to stay positive and not get stressed out. I was really sad not to do my workout yesterday but it was impossible to fit in. I will go today after work with Jeff I think. My weight appears to be down 2 pounds... I really hope it sticks, it would make me feel better about what I've been doing.

[vanessa40]

Shannon,
I hope things settle down for you soon..keep positive..it will get better.
I'm picking up the book you spoke of while i'm out today..i could really use it.
Thanks....

Vanessa

[Ballet Teacher]

Shannon,
I hope things settle down for you soon..keep positive..it will get better.
I'm picking up the book you spoke of while i'm out today..i could really use it.
Thanks....

Vanessa

YEAH! I hope you get as much out of the book as I am getting. It is really opening my eyes. I feel like I am finally seeing the light!

[tigercat24]

hello, I just wanted to say you look amazing. Love the dress!!!! I remember ballet when i was little and did the shows and stuff then i got older and grew hips..lol anyway I'm from Toronto, ON too-in the High park village area-love it there. Keep up the progress an you'll be looking even better just in time for the wedding.
D:)

[Ballet Teacher]

hello, I just wanted to say you look amazing. Love the dress!!!! I remember ballet when i was little and did the shows and stuff then i got older and grew hips..lol anyway I'm from Toronto, ON too-in the High park village area-love it there. Keep up the progress an you'll be looking even better just in time for the wedding.
D:)

I am moving to High Park in the fall of 2006!! I love that area!! We take our dog for for walks through the park all the time - we are so excited to live there. Thanks for the compliment as well... it brightened my day.

[abbs]

I hope you have been able to have a restful weekend Shannon, Im worried about you! Im a bit of a stresser myself and its a daily battle to stay on top and not think about the negative things. I checked out that link that you posted (the choose to be happy link) it made me realise that its our conscious decision to focus on the positive and bring happiness into our own lives. Im working on it and its helping. THANKYOU!

Hope you are taking care of yourself:)

[mizone]

Just wanted to stop by and say HI, its only fair when I read your journal and when I think your doing really well!! I checked out that website, lookie - even added a quote from there to my signature! :) Thanks :)

[tigercat24]

Good morning!!! Oh thats funny when you move to the High Park area I'll be moving more north for a while..not happy about that but thats a long story..lol-You'll love it there though!!! I bet you cannot wait. Have a nice day.
D

[vanessa40]

Shannon,
Just wanted to let you know i got the book this weekend..hopefully i'll get to start reading it today..hope you had a great weekend.

Vanessa

[StlBarbie]

Hey Shannon!!! How was your weekend??? You are awfully quiet?????
I hope you enjoyed it and had an opportunity to relax!!!

[Ballet Teacher]

I wasn't sure if today was going to end with me feeling positive or negative, but coming on here and finding all the upbeat posts in my journal decided that! *beaming* Mizone, Abbs and Vanessa... not sure how to word this... but it feels good knowing that there are other people working on happiness and that maybe by me trying to be happy I can have a positive influence on others.

Weekend - BUSY! I went out drinking AGAIN... but for me I truly think this is a positive thing. For over a year now I have hardly gone out and been social because I have been so depressed. My friend Shann (who has posted in here) called me up to go out and I decided that going out with my best friend and having a good time is more important than sticking to my diet. This is rare for me to drink two weekends in a row. Luckily I am not a big drinker. I had a few cheat things over the course of the weekend... more than planned, but I also stuck to eating properly as well. Anyways I was SO busy from Friday to Sunday and just didn't have time to update.

I did 2 hours of cardio over the course of the 3 days which made me feel AMAZING. I forgot how much I love it!!!

Enough about my weekend.

Monday May 9th

Meal 1: ww Melba Toast and Hummus (low fat)
Meal 2: Atkins Bar (horrible... but I was SO hungry!)
Meal 3: Cottage Cheese, with some mixed nuts (natural)
Meal 4: Turkey Burrito and carrots
Snack: ww Melba Toast and Hummus
Meal 5: Chicken Breast and carrots
Meal 6: 1 egg and egg whites, melba toast

Total: 1333
Fat: 40 362 29%
Carbs: 94 344 28%
Protein: 133 533 43%

Workout

DB SLDL 4x8x60#
Ballet Squats 4x12x30# (thighs to 90 degrees)
Lunges onto half a ball - about 60 of them
Leg Ext ?
Leg Curl
Leg Press 1x10x195

When I went to do the lunges I actually (turns beat red), lost my balance and sort of fell over. My legs were shaking SO badly!!! I had to do the last 10 just on the right because my left hurt too much. I love the ballet squats but the 30# feels pretty light... however clearly by the time I get to the lunges my legs a wiped out. I feel discouraged. My legs are supposed to be the strongest part of my body. Why are they so whimpy?? I had come straight from teaching for 2.5 hours... but I really only stood and didn't dance today.

Thoughts: I am feeling fat 45% of the time, and pretty good 55% of the time. My weight appears to be permanently down to 132 from 133. It took one month for that to happen. I haven't really been doing much cardio so I think an increase will help. I clearly have to watch my diet more closely. I would REALLY like to be under 130 by the end of the month... but it doesn't look like it will happen. I miss being able to lose 4 or 5 pounds a month. On a positive note I bumped into my aunt at the gym and she say me lifting and said "if you keep this up you are going to have to enter one of those figure competitions like my PT." It made me feel pretty good even though I could/ would never do that.

[abbs]

I went out drinking AGAIN... but for me I truly think this is a positive thing. For over a year now I have hardly gone out and been social because I have been so depressed.
This is the same for me, I never want to drink when Im down, but when Im feeling happy I like drinking (I guess that explains why I hardly ever drink in Japan and drink when I go home!!) Good on you for going out and having a good time, you needed to have some fun after all that stress last week!

Progress is going slow for me too, so I know how you feel. But Im working on staying positive and Ive started adding in some walking which Ive found really good in the past for increasing fat burning without jeaordising muscle loss. Im hoping to drop a couple of pounds too by the end of May. Good luck to us!!!

[Ballet Teacher]

I am feeling discouraged today. I look in the mirror and my muscles are more noticeable... I think... but the fat on my body seems even more disgusting then usual. The top of my shoulders are quite lean and I can see the various parts of my delts... but then you look at my rear delt and it is all loose jiggly fat. My hip area is a disaster... all fat. I know I need to be patient, I know I need to eat better... if I want this so badly why am I cheating too much? I just want it to be June 5th so I can put my focus into this 100%. I don't want to be a fat bride! I don't want to have my dress altered because I am too fat.

This morning I did chest, tris and 20 mins of cario keeping my heartrate at 150. 150 is 80% of my max (found using 208- (.7 x 28years). Is this good? I was definitly pushing myself... yet I always always feel like I am being lazy no matter how hard I try.

I guess a positive thing is that today I used the 15# to do my DB incline chest press and bench press. I think 20# will be happening soon. I don't feel like the 15's are too heavy... I just feel like my arms are pretty wobbly still. I did cable pull downs (or whatever they are called) with the rope for my tris and then I used the V shaped attachment. My tris felt great after that.

[terracotta]

Hi Shannon, you'll get there! You aren't being lazy at all. You are really busy still for the next 3 weeks. You have been making good progress despite this!

[StlBarbie]

Shannon,

You have to recognize that you are just in "one of those moods" ... we ALL go there sometimes!!! We have seen your pics ... your hip area is NOT a disaster ... you are NOT fat, and you ARE going to be a beautiful bride ... honey, you are beautiful NOW!!

This is as much a mental game as it is physical - it is crucial that you realize this and don't allow yourself to stay down.

Take pride in the incredible accomplishments you have made and be patient with yourself ... don't let this affect your self esteem!!! You are doing awesome woman!!!!!!!!!!!

Now get a liftin' and teach that rear delt a lesson for jigglin' !! :D

Hang tight ... June 5th will be here before you know it!

[vanessa40]

Shannon..
Don't feel bad..we all have bad areas..i hope you are feeling better..

Hugs,
Vanessa

[Briar]

shannon dont worry about it, it takes patience that is what i have learned. You are stunning now so dont beat yourself up about it. Just keep up the good work and the results will come

[Ballet Teacher]

Thanks for the encouraging words. I am so busy this week I haven't had time for anything other than work... I have to admit I am feeling rather sorry for myself and negative. I think this is because my period is due anyday now and I am exhausted. Anyways..

My legs were still SO sore yesterday (from Monday) but today they feel much better. Yesterday instead of have 30 minutes to go home and freshen up before going back out to teach I went to the gym to do 30 mins of cardio. I am glad I did. Today is back and bi's. I am hoping nothing happens that prevents me from going to the gym.

My diet has been BAD the last two days. It is just so low on my priority list right now. For now my main focus is to not get totally off track with my diet and to keep working out no matter how busy I get. My butt is finally down in size, and my stomach is looking better. When I was teaching last night I was quite impressed with the way my arms looked in the mirror. I am sure I MUST of dropped a bit of bodyfat, but yet my measurements have only changed slighlty but my body does look different.

Well I am off to work.

[Briar]

thats the same as me i think im getting depressed as my measurments arent really changing alot and the weight has dropped a little but i think im looking different but i cant tell as i see myself every day so its harder to see changes.

[abbs]

This whole mental battle is tougher than following the diet and exercising!!!!

Its like being on a roller coaster, you see a little change and you feel happy, and you wait for the next bit of change and when it doesnt come soon enough you get disappointed. The problem is that as you get leaner, the progress slows because there isnt such a big calorie deficit anymore because your bodyweight is close to your goal.

Got to keep focussing on the positive changes that have already happened. Its too easy to take them for granted and ignore them and instead just look at the negatives. Im so guilty of this but Im working on changing it.

It certainly sounds like you have dropped bodyfat Shannon, awesome!! Keep focussed and you will get there!

[Ballet Teacher]

Abbs and Briar - I keep meaning to start posting in your journals but I am so busy right now i never seem to have time. You guys always have such nice things to say.

Thursday May 12

I ate about 2000 calories, so today I am going to drop them down quite a bit.

Workout

Goodmornings* - 4x12x40lbs
Back Hyperext - 4x6x25lbs (I LOVE THESE!)
Assisted Pullups - 4x10x80 (These are better than lat pulldowns??)
Bentover Rows - 4x10x35 (I really felt these!)
One arm row - 2x10x20 (need to increase weight next time!)
Bicep Curls - Pathetic! After all that back I could hardly to anything

Cardio = 20 mins (HR 155 average)

*Goodmornings... firstly there isn't a barbell heavier than 40 unless I go to the scarey guys area (will do that in June). Secondly I felt these only in my hams, and on my spine (I guess a towel would be good). I thought maybe I would feel these in my back more then deadlifts, put they feel the same to me. Is it OK I don't feel it in my back?

Are assisted pullups better than lat pulldowns?? (I think I saw terracotta right that somewhere)

In June I think I need to do a 5 day split so that I can do bis/tris on their own day because by the time I get to them my muscles have pretty much given up. I couldn't even do ONE bicep curl with 15pounds in my left hand!

Thoughts - Extremely negative, but I am trying to ignore those thoughts. Basically my negative mind is telling me I am fatter then ever, and that I have the most disgusting stomach, hips and legs. My postive mind is telling me that even if this is true I have 3 months until the wedding and even if my legs and hips and still digusting they will be under a big skirt. I hope my period comes soon....

I am adding more cardio in because a/ it keeps me sane and b/ I love it and c/ the last time I got to under 17% bf was from doing lots of cardio with weights. I am going to experiment with doing more cardio and see what happens. If it doesn't appear to be working I will cut back down.

[StlBarbie]

You should definitely be feeling the good mornings in your back!!! However, they can be tricky so you should not really go any heavier until you are sure your form is correct and your back can handle it! A towel works wonders with these and I don't do them without one! Can't wait until you are over in the "scary guys" section ... little known fact .. they are more scared of us than anything!! LOL ;)

Both assisted pullups and lat pulldowns have significant value .. work them both in as you can!

I know ... we all have the love/hate relationship sometimes... of course, it is especially bad before "that time of the month"... just keep telling yourself ... you are beautiful, talented, and dedicated ... your future husband is a very lucky man!!!

[Ballet Teacher]

Powells, you should be a motivational coach! You always know exactly what to say and how to say.

About the goodmornings... I am pretty sure my form is good. I read several different blurbs with pictures on how to do them. I am keeping my back perfectly straight when I bend forward. I also don't feel anything in my back when doing SLDL.

I will definitly do both pullups and lat pulldowns!

[abbs]

Hi Shannon :) Dont worry about posting in my journal, I know you are a busy lady. Keep up with those positive thoughts, no part of you is disgusting and you will look fabulous on your wedding day, you already look fabulous in your wedding dress so you have nothing to worry about! 3 months is a long time for someone like yourself who doesnt have a lot of bodyfat to lose. Do not allow those negative feelings to take away your enjoyment of life! You are successful and loved and deserve to be happy.

By the way your comment about hiding your legs under your dress is something my brain would think of!!! Being the shape I am, I feel I look better in long skirts with revealing tops as my upper body is much leaner than the lower half. If I was getting my body in shape for a wedding id feel pretty good knowing the bit that would show was the leanest part on me :D Now if I got married in a string bikini on a beach, then id be freaking out!!

[Ballet Teacher]

Now if I got married in a string bikini on a beach, then id be freaking out!!

Thanks Abbs!!! Now i am going to be having nightmares about getting married in a G-String!

I have always be comfortable wearing revealing tops... but I haven't worn regular shorts in years. I hope eventually my legs will be in proportion. I am sure eventually they will!!! Then we can wear skimpy tops and bottoms (not my cup of tea, but it will be nice to know I could!).

[abbs]

I have always be comfortable wearing revealing tops... but I haven't worn regular shorts in years. I hope eventually my legs will be in proportion. I am sure eventually they will!!! Then we can wear skimpy tops and bottoms (not my cup of tea, but it will be nice to know I could!).

We must be twins! Yeah I dont feel comfortable in skimpy bottoms at all, even if I had the figure for it I hate those really short shorts that girls wear, and when you sit down they ride way up and pull tight around the tops of the legs, yuck!!!

And dont you worry, we will be in proportion very soon!! Ive seen a bit more progress in this last week and its really spurred me on, Im really learning that patience is so important. Good luck with that extra cardio, it might be what you need to keep things ticking along.

[TauruSmith]

I agree with you two about the shorts. My legs are extremely muscular. They have been ever since I was a kid. When I was in high school we all wore those cotton shorts at field hockey and lacrosse practice and I never felt uncomfortable. Now, working at rec center at my college, I notice more and more little skinny girls wearing those shorts and I feel bad about how I'm built. I busted out a pair because I can't keep up with laundry and was doing squats last night. I was getting a ton of looks from the guys, and I think that they liked the fact that there was a girl with come muscle wearing those shorts. (I'm sure a few like their little skinny girls, but boo on them!) It definitely boosted my self esteem, but they will only come out when I have no clean, real workout clothes.

Shannon, I can't wait to see pics from the wedding. You are going to look amazing, and it's so close..I'm jealous, I have a few friends who have recently become engaged and it's an exciting time. I'm looking forward to that in my (distant) future!

[terracotta]

I agree with you two about the shorts. My legs are extremely muscular. They have been ever since I was a kid. When I was in high school we all wore those cotton shorts at field hockey and lacrosse practice and I never felt uncomfortable. Now, working at rec center at my college, I notice more and more little skinny girls wearing those shorts and I feel bad about how I'm built. I busted out a pair because I can't keep up with laundry and was doing squats last night. I was getting a ton of looks from the guys, and I think that they liked the fact that there was a girl with come muscle wearing those shorts. (I'm sure a few like their little skinny girls, but boo on them!) It definitely boosted my self esteem, but they will only come out when I have no clean, real workout clothes.

Shannon, I can't wait to see pics from the wedding. You are going to look amazing, and it's so close..I'm jealous, I have a few friends who have recently become engaged and it's an exciting time. I'm looking forward to that in my (distant) future!

TS, muscular legs are awesome. I was a very skinny teenager and I hated it! I always admired muscular women. Now you get out there and show off those leggies!:D (mine are coming along now..but slowly).

[Ballet Teacher]

TS - Muscular legs on women are super sexy! I am sure those guys were checking them out. You shouldn't feel bad for a second about your legs. I always remind my sister that half of those skinny girls in college will end up fat and flabby. You have already made a commitment to a healthy lifestyle so you will look great in years to come!

Abbs - Congrats on the progress!!! That is AMAZING!!! I know how much it helps to motivate me when I see it.

[Ballet Teacher]

Friday May 13

Cardio = 30 mins LifeFitness Ellipitcal (HR - 150)

Cals = 1700 (90% clean)

Thought = "Fat Fat you are Fat". "You are eating SO much you FAT pig".... sigh... that is what is going on in my head at the moment. Now just the fact that this doesn't go on 24/7 is an increadible improvement but it honestly is SO annoying and upsetting. I had a dream last night that my friend analyzed my body in this weird official way. Bottom line was she said I had an extreme pear shape, with bulbous stomach and large fat pockets. I can't even escape these thoughts of fatness in my dreams!!! Ok enough about that!

I feel much less anxious knowing that I am adding in a bit more cardio. I just have to watch it because I can easily go from 30 mins a few times a week to a couple hours a day. I am pretty safe right now because unless I start getting up at 4am I just don't have the time to do that much.

Question - Would doing Shoulders, Bis and Tris on the same day be OK?? Right now I have bis and tris on chest and back day and they don't get a good workout because they are exhausted at the end.

[aprilai]

Friday May 13
Question - Would doing Shoulders, Bis and Tris on the same day be OK?? Right now I have bis and tris on chest and back day and they don't get a good workout because they are exhausted at the end.

i'm so glad you asked this question! you see, the thing here is that after compound movements where your bis and tris are engaged HEAVILY (bench), doing supplemental exercises like for bis and tris, you are just overtraining them.

the solution is to add these lifts on 'middays' where your bis/tris are not worked as heavily. i add them to my deadlift and squat days or when i'm in a crunch i add them to my shoulder days. i don't do bis and tris in one session because i feel that it's overloading my arms too much and the workout becomes less effective.

i would just do bis on deadlift days and tris on squat days to get the best effects. don't go crazy and destroy them though! ;P if you don't separate your deadlift and squat days then try to do them on sessions where they aren't heavily engaged...

i've been doing this for a month now and my tris and bis are growing. i feel that i am much more refreshed when they're not pounded by compound lifts so i can lift more weight [obviously the more tension there is you can grow bigger].

[Ballet Teacher]

April could you show me what your split is? It sounds interesting! Today I did shoulders in the am and bis/ tris in the pm. I REALLY enjoyed just working my arms and nothing else.

[aprilai]

right now i'm doing a rotational split - i rotate my main compound exercises every week. like deadlift/squat, overhead press/bent over rows. i keep bench press every week though.

note that what i do might not work for you.


May 2-8, 2005 routine
M: squat, lunges, RDL, dips, external/internal rotators, multivitamin

T: high octane cardio

W: bench, flys, abs, calves, 20mins elliptical, multivitamin

Th: OFF

F: bent over row, lat pulldown, bis, abs

Sat: HIIT- Swimming


May 9-15, 2005 Training
M: deadlift, tris, calves, abs, multivitamin

T: high octane cardio

W: bench, flys, lunges, calves, 20mins elliptical

Th: OFF

F: clean & press, lean away lateral raise, windmills, janda situps, bis, multivitamin

Sat: HIIT-swimming

[Ballet Teacher]

Thanks for posting that April! I like the idea of rotating the main compound exercises... when I revamp my program I will keep that in mind

Saturday May 14

I ate 100% clean until 7pm and then went out for dinner with my parents and Jeff's parents. My meal was fairly small (fancy restaurant) but I had 2.5 glasses of wine and a cosmo. This month I have drunk more than I have since January! bleh

Workout

AM
Military Press 4x8
Lat Raises 4x8
Front Raises 3x8
Shoulder Press 4x10

45 mins Life Fitness Eliptical (HR = 145)

PM
Alt Bicep Curls 3x8
Rope Pulldown (Tris) 3x8
Hammer Curls 2x8
V Pulldown (Tris) 2x8

20 mins Interval Running (2 miles)

Thoughts - My back is sore!! This is the first time that I have felt anything in my back since I started working out again. Well to be honest my body feels like I was run over by a truck. Between the muscle soreness, the pain in my legs and feet from running and cramps... OUCH! I am going to go do some cardio and stretching today as well as show Jeff the lifting routine I have set up for him.

I am feeling positive about the next few weeks. I am very determined to see a difference in my end of May/ early June pics. When I am lifting that is what I think about... now I just have to think about it when I reach for less than ideal food.

Today we are registering for the Wedding!!! It is so exciting. I hadn't thought about this at all so it is almost like a surprise.

[aprilai]

I ate 100% clean until 7pm and then went out for dinner with my parents and Jeff's parents. My meal was fairly small (fancy restaurant) but I had 2.5 glasses of wine and a cosmo. This month I have drunk more than I have since January! bleh

i feel you how it be so frustrating sometimes with the diet part - just remember to kick right back on track afterwards. having the cheat can sometimes motivate you more to work harder the next week.

good luck

[Ballet Teacher]

Last night Jeff decided he wanted me to do his measurements again for mybodycomp... so I did mine as well (it has been two weeks since the last time). I was positive I would see ZERO change or that I would be bigger... but...

Body Composition
Body Fat 21.2 20.02 -1.18
Weight 133.00 135.00 2.00
Lean Body Mass 104.8 107.97 3.17
Fat Mass 28.2 27.03 -1.17

Apparently my BF is down 1% and I gained some lean mass. I know this is only a crude tool but if it shows improvement I will be happy! I have gained a bit in my upperbody (measurements up), while everything under my belly button has gotten smaller. I can't to see it say anything UNDER 20%! The best thing about all this is that I am doing it with Jeff. His bodyfat was down 1% as well in the same time (except he also lost 4 pounds). This is really motivating me to do even better!

My weight is showing up as 135 today except I am pretty sure it will go back down to 133. Normally I would be freaking out but I really don't care since I am getting smaller.

Sunday May 15

Total: 1240
Fat: 38 344 28%
Carbs: 93 367 30%
Protein: 125 500 41%

Today was a low calorie day because I ate too much the day before. I also just wasn't very hungry and got up late as well.

Workout

30 mins Life Fitness Elliptical (135 = HR)

[StlBarbie]

I am quite sure NONE of us will say, "I TOLD YOU SO!!!" :D

Congrats on the progress ... one RED HOT bride headed down the aisle!!! :D
You know, Shannon, it was all your hard work and diet dedication that got you those results!! Great job .. keep it up!!!!!!!! :)

[Ballet Teacher]

Thanks so much Powells! I know this wouldn't be happening if it wasn't for this awesome board and the support I have recieved from everyone.

Monday May 16

Total: 1592
Fat: 42 376 25%
Carbs: 160 591 39%
Protein: 140 558 37%



No workout! Rest Day

[abbs]

Yay!!!!!!!!!!! Thats awesome news Shannon! Im so happy for you!

Wont be long and youll be under 20%, keep up the fantastic work :D

[Ballet Teacher]

I can't WAIT to get under 20% (well according to mybodycomp). I am currently fighting with myself to stay positive. These last 2.5 weeks are going to be so exhausting. I am already so tired and although I LOVE working out it is going to be challenging to fit it in... but I must! No slacking for me.

Good news... last night I was teaching in this pair of capri workout pants (usually I am in looser fitting teaching pants). Anyways I couldn't help put notice that... I HAVE HAMSTRINGS! My hams have always been almost concave. Ballet dancers often have problems with underdeveloped hams and I was no exception. Now my butt goes out, then in and then my ham goes out!

[Ballet Teacher]

Tuesday May 17

Total: 1643
Fat: 51 457 28%
Carbs: 180 681 42%
Protein: 119 474 29%

Rest day again (no time to workout)

Thoughts: Yesterday I got up at 5am to start working and didn't get home until 8:30pm. I went to bed at 9, so I didn't have time to go to the gym. I feel really guilty about it but if I don't do my work and get enough sleep I will have a nervous breakdown before June 4th. I am hoping to get to the gym today but today I was up before 6am to start working and I don't finish until 8pm. If I am not totally bagged I will go at the end of the day. I can't express how much I am looking forward to the end of this craziness so I can focus on my diet and workouts.

[Ballet Teacher]

Wednesday May 18

Total: 1627
Fat: 43 387 25%
Carbs: 206 748 48%
Protein: 107 428 27%

Forced rest day

Thoughts - I woke up this morning and was positive my weight would be up and my measurements would be up... and... they were down! My waist is just slightly over 25.5!!! My thighs are officially down just over 1.5 inches and my hips are down 1.5.. nearing 2! It just blows my mind that I can actually EAT and lose weight. I spent so long trying to starve myself to shave inches off. I was so convinced that I was 'special' and that I was different from other people, that is I wanted to lose I would need to take extreme measures. I am so happy I have seen the light!

I am also so pleased that despite my diet probably only being about 75% clean I am seeing progress. I figure that once June comes and I have time to actually think and focus on a very clean diets I will see more progress. When June comes I will start posting the details of my diet.

I have had the last three days off because I have been SO busy. My body aches SO badly from hours of intense teaching (preparing for the show). I don't feel so bad about missing my workouts because I am so active at work now. I shouldn't have any problems working out for the next 5 days, so I am not totally slacking off!

[Ballet Teacher]

So yesterday I went to pick up my wedding dress. In February I ordered it and tried the sample on at the store which was an 8 it fit perfectly but I told the sales lady and my mom that I was at my biggest and I should order the 6 (4 being the smallest size they make). Anyways they both told me not to but I did anyways.

I was SO nervous to go pick it up. I was sure I wouldn't be able to do it up because I have gained 2 pounds since then... although my measurements have gone down. So I tried it on and..........

IT WAS TOO BIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have LOTS of room in the chest and ribcage and the waist is about perfect. It was SO beautiful and I was BEAMING ear to ear knowing that I hadn't had to starve myself to get results. My sister commented on my arms looked more 'toned' and then my other sister commented on my back.

I am SO happy now because I can lift like a maniac and not worry about the dress fitting. I REALLY REALLY want my back, arms and chest to look strong and sleek on my wedding day. It blows my mind that I have been far from perfect with my diet but still I have gotten good results. I am actually glad I wasn't perfect from day one because now I have somewhere to go for the last 11/ 12 weeks.

I am not posting what I am eating for the next 2 weeks because I have enough to worry about. I will stick to what I have been doing but I don't want calories and fat grams floating around in my head.

May 19th & 20th

Thursday I got called in to sub TWO classes during the only two times I could workout. BLEH.

Friday

Incline Press
Bench Press
Pullups
Chest Press
Flys

20 mins of cardio.
1 hour of walking

[Briar]

Congratulations hun thats fantastic news, see we knew you could do it and you have just proved to yourself that you can do anything you put your mind to!!!

I bet you look stunning in your dress and when you try it on next time i wanna see a photo!!

[abbs]

Excellent news Shannon!!!! Im so happy for you :D!

You have managed to overcome all those mental hurdles and stresses along the way, and now you get to reap the benefits! And you havent had to be perfect to achieve results. AND you still have 11-12 weeks! WAHOO! You will really enjoy working out knowing that you look fabulous in your dress already. What you are doing is obviously working so dont worry about not posting your cals etc, you are doing a fantastic job.

Take care :)

[terracotta]

So yesterday I went to pick up my wedding dress. In February I ordered it and tried the sample on at the store which was an 8 it fit perfectly but I told the sales lady and my mom that I was at my biggest and I should order the 6 (4 being the smallest size they make). Anyways they both told me not to but I did anyways.

I was SO nervous to go pick it up. I was sure I wouldn't be able to do it up because I have gained 2 pounds since then... although my measurements have gone down. So I tried it on and..........

IT WAS TOO BIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have LOTS of room in the chest and ribcage and the waist is about perfect. It was SO beautiful and I was BEAMING ear to ear knowing that I hadn't had to starve myself to get results. My sister commented on my arms looked more 'toned' and then my other sister commented on my back.

I am SO happy now because I can lift like a maniac and not worry about the dress fitting. I REALLY REALLY want my back, arms and chest to look strong and sleek on my wedding day. It blows my mind that I have been far from perfect with my diet but still I have gotten good results. I am actually glad I wasn't perfect from day one because now I have somewhere to go for the last 11/ 12 weeks.

I am not posting what I am eating for the next 2 weeks because I have enough to worry about. I will stick to what I have been doing but I don't want calories and fat grams floating around in my head.

May 19th & 20th

Thursday I got called in to sub TWO classes during the only two times I could workout. BLEH.

Friday

Incline Press
Bench Press
Pullups
Chest Press
Flys

20 mins of cardio.
1 hour of walking

Woohoo! This is wonderful! I'm so happy for you!

[StlBarbie]

Shannon,
That is such a neat story about the dress!!! What great rewards for all your hard work!!!!!! You have earned those on rep at a time!!!!

[Ballet Teacher]

Thanks guys! Guess what... waist was down to 25 today and my thighs are down 1.5 inches now!

Saturday May 21

Military Press - 4 sets of 8
Lat Raises - 4 sets of 10 (the 10 pounders are feeling EASY!)
Reverse Fly - 3 sets of 10
Shoulder Press - 5 sets of 5

20 minutes cardio

Question - If I had to pic one body part to focus on it would definitly be my shoulders. Any shoulder advice? My are pathetically small and I want them to get BIGGER! I will also look through the articles.

[Ballet Teacher]

For the next two weeks I am not going to be posting (maybe a check in or two). I am still going to try to get in all my workouts and keep up with eating 5-6 meals with enough protein. The craziness is beginning and I just won't have time to post here.

My weight was up to 134 two weeks ago and is now down to 131. I think it is the extra cardio.

Anyways I am planning on doing pictures at the end of May and hopefully I will see a difference!!

[abbs]

Your progress is awesome Shannon. Looking forward to seeing those pics!

About your shoulders, I dont really know much about weight training but the exercises you have got look pretty good.

Perhaps you could try things like -

-different rep ranges, one week 6-10, next week 8-12 etc
-drop sets, pyramid sets
-switching the order that you do the exercises
-dropping it down to just 3 exercises (a press move - you could alternate db and bb weekly, a lateral move and the flyes)

anyone else have some advice???

[Ballet Teacher]

Thanks Abbs! My measley shoulders need tons of work so all input is most appreciated. I can't wait until all this is over so I can start posting more.

[vanessa40]

Wow.. a 25 inch waist..i can't wait for that..look foward to seeing your pics..you take care... :)

Vanessa

[terracotta]

bump!

[terracotta]

Hey Shannon! Haven't forgot about you and I'm bumping your journal again. :D I hope you are coming back to us!

[abbs]

Hope everything is going well Shannon :)

[vanessa40]

We miss you Shannon.. :)

Vanessa

[Ballet Teacher]

I'm back.... Firstly I got so overwhelmed at work and with the wedding I found I didn't have time to come on here... then I got back into the habit of doing excessive amounts of cardio.

The good news is I think I looked good on my wedding day. I ended up getting down to 127 and although I wasn't as low body fat wise I felt good. My dress had to be taken in and then on the wedding day it was a bit loose, so that made me feel good as well. The bad news is once I went on the honeymoon I packed on 6 pounds of fat.

My schedule this year is much much much more stable & consistent and I am working fewer hours.

I started back to the gym two weeks ago. Currently I am mostly just doing classes at the gym which I haven't been into since I was a teenager. I chose to do the classes because I thought it would deter me from getting obsessive with the cardio. So far I am really happy with what I am doing, and I feel 10x more positive about my workouts.


Current "Program"
Body Pump 3x a week
Kick boxing 2-3x a week
Cardio Blast/ Crunch 1x
Yoga 3x a week

My plan is to stick with this at LEAST until the end of the month, and maybe until the end of the year. Once I feel confident I can handle workouts of my own I will switch to the standard weights & cardio.

My main goal right now is to get my diet under control and just focus on being fit (rather than following the perfect exercise routine).

I am going to start listing food/ exercise on Monday. I have really missed this board and the wonderful supportive people on it.


Here are some pics from my wedding (which was at Ontario Place) and one from our Honeymoon in mexico.

[KiwiNovice]

The good news is I think I looked good on my wedding day. What do you mean "you THINK you looked good"?? Goodness me YOU look absolutely beautiful and stunning and gorgeous .. all those wonderful things & more!!! Your photo's are lovely, thanks for sharing them.

[arose70]

Welcome back! BEAUTIFUL pics, your hubs is a very lucky man!!!! (And you are a lucky girl ;)).

You sound motivated and ready to go! Go get em!!!

[freakeefranky]

hey ure back!!!uve been gone for ages! :p ure looking good! nice to have u back!

[Krissypoo]

Glad to see you back! Those are beautiful photos. There is no thinking to it...you made a beautiful bride. You two look SO happy! :D Congratulations!

[Ballet Teacher]

Monday October 17th

Food
1: cheese string & oatmeal
2: cottage cheese & carrots
3: tuna & apple
4: cheese strings & plain mini-wheats
5: brown rice & chicken
6: cheese string, mini-wheats & rice cakes*
*unplanned & unnecessary

Total: 1639
Fat: 30 271 17%
Carbs: 217 788 50%
Protein: 131 523 33

Exercise
Body Pump (1 hour) - upped weights

Thoughts
I am really focusing on just being healthy and preparing my body to get pregnant in just under a year (if everything goes smoothly). Yesterday was pretty good and I was in the correct calorie range for .5 pound loss/ week. I am trying to keep my cals between 1500-1700. I need to lose 7 pounds of fat to reach my bodyfat goal of 18% (lowest for ideal pregnancy BF).

[Krissypoo]

Thoughts
I am really focusing on just being healthy and preparing my body to get pregnant in just under a year (if everything goes smoothly).

Pregnant??? Really?!!?!?! :D How exciting!!! Good luck!

[Ballet Teacher]

Thanks WBM!! I am pretty excited, and am very determined to be as healthy as possible when it comes time to start trying. I am in recovery from an eating disorder so I am trying not to focus too much on the "perfect" bodybuilding diet. What I really want is to change my eating habits and get my diet as "clean" as possible. For me that will mean eating as many healthy non-processed foods as I can.

I know there may be other websites more suited to the way I am eating and working out but I love it here and I find it frustrating on other boards where the members aren't nearly as educated as they are hear.

Question: If I do bodypump three days a week could I also do some weights? I love that bodypump makes me feel positive about my body and that I don't hear the "negative voice" in my head like I do when I am working out alone... but I do miss lifting. Any suggestions?

[Ballet Teacher]

Tuesday October 16th

Food
1: Bioprotein
2: cottage cheese & oatmeal
3: tuna & cheese
4: oatmeal cookie* & string cheese
5: chicken & brown rice
6: mini-wheats & rice cakes*
*unplanned & unnecessary...again

Total: 1746
Fat: 34 303 18%
Carbs: 218 828 49%
Protein: 142 568 33%



Exercise
Off, but three hours of teaching ballet

Thoughts
UGH! Yesterday was not good. No fruits or veggies. At least I am withing my calorie range. Next week I am going to buy some All Bran to have for breakfast and some romaine and spinach so I can have a tuna salad at lunch. I am reading an amazing book on pre-pregnancy nutrition. It is so exciting to be focusing on nutrition as opposed to focusing on losing weight... after 15 years of dealing with an eating disorder. I do see after the last two days that I need to get a bit more protein in there.

To summarize what I am doing (for at least 3 weeks).
* Eat a well balanced diet (including enough protein, calcium and fruits/ veg)
* Exercise for fitness & don't focus on burning calories or fat
* Keep cals between 1600-1850 (maintain = 2000ish for me)
* No scale!!! But I am allowing myself to occasionaly check measurements as it generally reassures me
* Do Body Pump 3 days a week, cardio 3-5 days, and Yoga up to 3 times
* Minimum protein 150.

[Krissypoo]

Your new plan sounds great! :D I think that if you go the bodypump route, then lift as heavy as you can there and don't really hit the weights in the free weight area. I think your new plan along with heavy free weights will be overkill. You seem to have a well thought out plan already, though! :)

[Ballet Teacher]

Your new plan sounds great! :D I think that if you go the bodypump route, then lift as heavy as you can there and don't really hit the weights in the free weight area. I think your new plan along with heavy free weights will be overkill. You seem to have a well thought out plan already, though! :)

Thanks so much for your encouraging words! I upped my weights by quite a bit last time and I still might up them a bit today. I am going to tell myself that I would rather lift heavier and have to take some rests than lift really light.

I am going to aim to start getting my carbs down to 45% and protein up to 35%. If that feels good then I will get my ratios to 40/40/20.

I am also trying to remind myself that when my body fat as 17% all I did was go to the gym 5 days a week, did some weights (very basic split and not heavy lifting) and tried to keep my calories in check. So I figure I can get to 18% without doing anything too extreme. We wiill see.

[Ballet Teacher]

Just got back from Body Pump. I definitly see some improvement in my upper body... I find this happens very quickly for me, as well my stomach area is looking better. I do love this class... But...

I upped my weights for legs today and didn't feel to much in them, except during lunges. However there is NO WAY I can go any higher because a/ I can barely lift the barbell over my head (after all those arms) and b/ my upper back is DYING!!!!!! I mean DYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is INTENSE burning and definitly feels like it is muscles (not spinal). What do I do? Do I just have to wait for my upper back to get stronger? Could I add one day of legs.. maybe on Saturdays. The Friday Body Pump class is only 45 mins and is a bit easier than Mon & Wed.

[Ballet Teacher]

I can't believe I found my old user name and journal! I left BB a couple years ago... and got pregnant! I now have a 14 month old daughter and I am eager to get back into shape.

I am still breastfeeding which has made it very easy to lose the pregnancy weight... too easy. I am down to 120 pounds (at 5'8"), so it is time to start lifting and put some muscle back on! My husband and I are doing pictures tonight, so I might post those.

I can't believe how many people I remember from before. It is nice to "see" familiar faces.

I am thinking about doing a 3 day split - those were always my favourites. I would love some feedback. I am working out at home. We have a bench with the leg attachments and the things for chest press. I have an exercise ball, dumbbells and barbells.

Here is what I was thinking about doing (but I am open to any suggestions):

Monday - Chest/ Arms
Flat bench press
Incline dumbbell press
Flys on ball
Barbell curls
Incline curls

Wednesday - Back/ Shoulders
Bent over rows with barbell
Flys on incline press (with tummy against bench)
Dumbbell rows
Overhead press
Upright rows
Lat Raises

Friday - Legs
Squats
Lunges
Deadlifts
Plie squats

Abs - 2 or 3 times a week (still need to get some exercise ideas)

I would also like to do some cardio, because it makes me feel good and helps when I am teaching. I started running but did too much and now my ankles are in really bad shape. Any suggestions on something that might be appropriate for me?

[amj0883]

Your plan looks great!!

I will be following along :D

Out of curiousity - does breast feeding usually help you drop pregnancy weight faster??

[Ballet Teacher]

Hey Mandy,

Thanks for the post!

Yes breastfeeding usually does help with weight loss, it also helps your uterus shrink back to its usual size faster. :) You actually need more calories while breastfeeding then you do while you are pregnant. For some women their appetites increase though so it makes it hard to lose, and other women don't lose the final bit of weight until after they stop.

I am hoping to get my workout in while my daughter sleeps today, if not I will have to get my husband to watch her when he gets home.

I am not going to worry too much about what I am eating right now. I am going to start tracking what I do eat on fitday and trying to cut back on treats.

[twinnett]

Welcome back! :D

[Ballet Teacher]

Nutrition:
1: WW toast with all natural PB
2: Luna Bar (bad choice)
3: WW Pita, Hummus, carrots, cheese
4: Cottage Cheese, apple, almonds
5: Veggie Nuggets, broccoli

Calories:1958
Fat: 62/ 30%
Carbs: 224/ 40% Fiber: 36
Protein: 141/ 30%

Workout:
Bench Press - 3x8x30# +1x10x30# (right arm felt sore from the start)
Incline Press - 3x10x10#/arm
Fly - 4x6x13# (could probably go a bit higher)
Bicep Curls - 4x6x10#/arm
Tricep Dips - 4x12

Thoughts:
Holy smokes I can't believe what a weakling I am now!! I guess the good news is I can only get better from here. It was frustrating because we only have on set of 13 pound dumbbells, so I had to use plates instead which was really uncomfortable. We are going to pick some up ASAP. I missed out a couple exercises but I felt too shaky to do much more.

I wasn't planning on tracking my diet, but I changed my mind. I haven't planned out any sort of diet. I guess my plan is to just track everything and try to clean it up without worrying too much. Now that I am 100% recovered from the ED, I am more aware that I need to make sure I don't slip back into my old ways. Normally I have only been eating 3 meals, with maybe one slice of cheese as a snack so eating 5 meals was an accomplishment for me.

My husband is also starting a program so it should be fun to do this together. We are going to do pictures tonight, so I will probably post them pretty soon.

[amj0883]

It will be much more fun with hubby sharing in the fun of working out :D

Don't worry about feeling weak - your body will respond quickly and you'll be upping the weight in no time!! I admire you for being relaxed with your diet and trusting your instincts!!

[Ballet Teacher]

Food:
m1: 2 ww toast/ 1 tbsp nat PB
m2: 1 cup cottage cheese
m3: carrots & hummus, slice of mozz cheese & small ww bagel
m4: almonds (way too many - I miss read the cals!)
m5: 2 cup popcorn, arizona iced tea

Total: 1613
Fat: 54/ 32%
Carbs: 201/ 45%
Protein: 89/ 23%

Workout:
None, but I did do a lot of walking. I can't do cardio because my ankles are really busted.

Thoughts
I am feeling down today, and I am not sure if it is because I have started watching what I eat, or if it was just one of those days. The last thing I want is to slip back into food obsession. I figure I can log what I eat for 1 month and then decide if I will continue. At the very least it will help me get in touch with what I need to eat to get my macros in order.

Eating more then 3 times is oddly hard. DH wasn't home tonight so I didn't feel compelled to eat dinner and had some popcorn instead.

My ankles are in really bad shape. I can't believe I busted them up so bad running. It is hurts to walk, which is making chasing after my 14 month old really hard.

Tomorrow will be better

[heidismommy]

Just wanted to say "hello". I have found it to be much more helpful and less triggering not to track macros and calories too closely. It's good to have an idea, but be careful it doesn't become an obsession again. I know how easy it is to fall into old patterns without even being aware of what is happening. I hear you on the breastfeeding thing being a huge calorie burner. I had always heard that, but found out firsthand after my daughter was born.

[Ballet Teacher]

Wednesday July 30

Workout
Squats - 4x12x50# (could of done more but wasn't confident putting bar back on rack yet)
Lunges - 4x10x50#
SLDL - 1x12x50# - hamstrings completely cramped :(
Leg Extention - ??
Wall sits - 3x until I couldn't hold it any longer

Thoughts
I know I said I would be keeping track of my food for a month, but the last two days made me feel really uncomfortable, so I have decided not to post it. My protein was too low yesterday, and it made me feel so anxious knowing I had to post it and guilty. I am going to keep tracking in on fitday to make sure I am getting enough protein and I am going to continue to eliminate juice and sweets (which I eat a few times a week).

I was sore from my chest workout, but not as sore as I would like. I always find it takes a couple weeks for my body to remember how to lift and then I find I can do much more. I enjoyed doing legs, but was really dissapointed when my hams totally cramped up after one set of SLDL. It was really painful. Since I injured my ankles being overly enthusiastic with running, I decided it was probably best not to risk pulling a hamstring. I read back in my journal and that also happened before.

On Saturday we are off to Florida for 11 days. There is no gym there so DH and I are going to do lots of situps, pushups etc...

Tonight is abs. :)

[amj0883]

What part of Florida are you visiting?? I love Florida :D

Thats great that hubby is going to work with you to keep up the training while your away - Have Fun!!