Ead's Ramblings

[eadreel]

Hi, I am new to well, exercise and nutrition in general. I am 27 years old, 5'4" and as of today 217lbs. Two years ago I had a huge scare that had me drop 60lbs in a few months. With school and my husband being given a hardship tour I let myself get off what was my current exercise routine. When I dropped that weight I was eating a high protein, lower carb, and lower fat diet and I was weighing, measuring and tracking every single thing I ate and drank. I also walked for 30 minutes every day. Well, I lost it after four months of doin that. I just didn't have the interest to continue with the food journaling. And with depression of graduation without my husband there to see me walk the stage...I fell into the abyss of constant binge eating and not exercising.

My husband came home and we were transferred to Europe. I have always wanted to be in Europe (I majored in history). I got here and my weight shot up to 220. I was a bit intimidated by language barriers and driving styles to go out and explore my new surroundings while my husband was at work. So I sat around all day eating and watching movies and shows on DVD, as we don't get any regular TV (well one channel, but it is an all day german version of Good Morning America). I got really depressed and my self esteem and confidence took a huge hit.

My husband asked me to work out at the gym with him on Mondays after work. So I went. I could only do 20 minutes at 2.5mph on the treadmill. That left me with a "runner's high". After a few weeks he asked me if I could go on Fridays too with him. I did. I got up to 3mph on the treadmill. I started feeling a bit better. I hate cardio. I really do. Nothing can make it fun for me. I have tried the bike, the ellipticals, the crosstrainers, the stair steppers...nothing works to engage me.

So finally I started to go on Wednesdays and I was still plugging away at the dreadmill. This week I got up to 3.2mph to keep me in my target heart range.

Two months ago I signed up for a fitness 101 class and no one called me. I told them I wanted an introduction to the weight rooms. So after two months I asked the front desk person if anyone was ever going to call me for the class I signed up for. She told me that they were below minimum manning and didn't have the personnel to spare for that, but if I came Saturday at 1pm, she would give me a tour of the weight rooms. The following Monday I lifted weights and I was going to do cardio after, but man, I was beat, so the cardio didn't get done, but I did it on Tuesday.

I loved the weight room. So I started searching for exercises I should be doing. I learned the word compound lifts. So Wednesday I was back in the weight room after a 30min cardio workout, and the first machine I got on was the leg curl, the next was the leg extension. I hurt my knee bad! So I learned that I can't use those machines because I can't adjust them for my body.

Even with the knee injury I went back on Friday. I didn't do anything strenuous with my leg exercises. I did the leg press with no weights because I am still working on form. It didn't hurt too bad and my knee as of today is getting less sore.

So today I am going to the other gym to see what their weight room looks like and to see if I can get a personal trainer. I want to get out of the leg press machine and need help with how to do squats, deadlifts, goodmornings, and all those freeweight exercises that look dangerous to me.

I realized on this round of the fit resolution that I was not setting good goals. My goal in the past was to lose weight. Not this time. I don't care about the scale so much anymore. I did a body composition using measurements, and while it may not be accurate, the thing said that I carry around 111lbs of fat and my body fat percentage is 50% and it is all around my stomach. I look like a female budda right now.

My fitness goals right now are only two things. Eat at least three times a day. (I used to eat only at about 4pm and that was it). Exercise three times a week.

These two goals are it for now. I will reevaluate in about a month. So far they are working. Even with weights I have lost weight, but not inches. And that is ok for now.

I do have a dream goal, and my husband was horrified by it when I shared it with him. He thinks female bodybuilders are horrifyingly ugly. I shared with him that my dream goal is to be able to compete in two years. I don't even care if I win or place high, I just want to be able to get up there and show off my hard work.

I have been thinking of dropping him as my lifting partner. He complains too much while we are lifting weights. He hates exercise and goes because he has to because of military regulations. I want to be in the weight room. I lose track of time and I don't care if it takes me two hours to get through all my sets and reps. Right now I am just doing total body with two sets of 12 for my upper body exercises and one set on my lower body exercises and two sets on abs and back. Yes, it can take me 90 minutes to do just my lifting, even though I am using compound lifts.

Once I am more comfortable with form I will start splitting up my routine so I don't have to spend as much time at the gym. Right now I am mainly just getting used to the idea of three times a week no matter what.

[Ms. Lucy]

COngratulations on all your hard work and the adjustments you've made so far. It may not seem like a big deal to you, but just getting yourself to the gym and becoming committed to an exercise program is fantastic--most never make it that far! Plus, you've delt with a huge move overseas, which would cause a lot of stress to anyone--but may also give you a chance to "start over" and redefine who you want to be.

Take some time to look over the posts in this site, as you'll find them extremely helpful--especially the "stickies." They will show you the main tips on how to eat properly and get started on a fitness program.

You may also wish to pick up the book, "Body For Life" by Bill Phillips. It gives great advice about eating 5-6 mini-meals a day and outlines a great beginning weightlifting routine (I think it's only 3x week lifting). Many people here use similar principles in there training!

If you want a slightly easier way to keep track of your meals and fat/carb/protein intake (may help you for the first few weeks to see what you're eating) try going to www.fitday.com. It's a free site that hepls you do so!

As for the hubby, I'm sorry to hear about his attitude. But as much as you love him, I'd leave that relationship at home. You really need some extra motivation. I would absolutely recommend a good trainer--but make sure you get along and agree wiht their general training style. They will help show you how to do exercises so you don't hurt yourself (knee!!) and get you excited about your progress. SPeaking of progress--don't forget to take pictures. PLEASE go to SL's journal and take a look at her most recent ones--unbelievable. She's really inspiring and I think will help show you what you're capable of!

On a final note, if you need help, ask someone. Most people here are happy to help and have been in your shoes. The process does take time and remember, you didn't gain weight overnight, so try not to set unrealistic expectations. 1-2 lbs a week is healthy--but you will also experience plateaus--stick with it!

You've already made a commitment to do this for yourself--I think you now need to follow through! It's great that you're setting small goals, b/c if you try to do too much too soon you may get too burned out and give up. DON'T DO THAT!!!!. AGain, try and find a trainer, read everything you can make it happen! You're only other alternativeis to stay at home, gain more weight and feel miserable! You deserve better! SO get out there and get moving--1 step and 1 pound at a time!

Good luck--and let us know when you sign up for that competition. Your hubby may not go--but I'm sure the workout buddies you'll soon be meeting will support you 100%!!

Take Care!

Lucy

[Anima]

It was really nice to read this thread, I admire you for deciding to achieve a particular goal and see it thru no matter what.

I have a feeling that your hubby will change hs mind when he sees that new you coming out... I used to find women bodybuilders ugly too, til I realised WHY they were doing it, and wanted to feel the same buzz myself. I am also a beginner and I also get a lot of "why do you want to do THAT??" questions... I ended up not telling anyone else just because of that.

I find the online community is much more supportive than a lot of people in RL and I cant explain why.... like minded people in the same place?

Dont get disheartened. DONT hurt yourself.... it is meant to be fun. Challenging, but fun......

He he I liked "the DREADmill".... I was, a year ago, 5'2" tall and 115 KG... fitness helped me to lose that weight slowly and surely. It took time but I am finally back into the "normal" (relatively) sized pants of my earlier me (which was still pudgy but within normal limits if yo judge that by not having to buy in the "plus sizes" section LOL).... so I know what it feels like to want to change.

The Dreadmill and the rest became more interesting when I let my mind drift and thought about sex LOL!!! Well it took the time off my hands quicker for sure!

Keep us posted. I am also in europe, had a husband but now alone, and yeah, I know what you mean bout the TV also. 15 channels of French, German and Dutch crud LOL and thankfully BBC as well.

I am rambling (blood sugar must be dropping!) so I'll just say WELL DONE and every little improvement should be reason to puff your chest with pride, how many folks are doign NOTHING right now, while you are doing something concrete? GO GIRL!

[eadreel]

Well, this morning I got to the other gym to sign up for a personal trainer. They want 45 dollars an hour...I think my husband might not like that so much, but hey, who cares what he likes, as long as we can still afford to pay bills and buy groceries. So I am now just waiting for the trainer to call so we can set up the first session.

A few months ago I went to the Northside gym and the guy that I was talking to, I was asking about the weight room and such and seeing about the fitness 101 class...well, he was very muscular. He asked me why I wanted to lift. After telling him the physiological reasons why, he asked me if I had thought about doing cardio instead. That just ticked me off....all he saw was a fat woman. I was angry and hurt by that, but I thought about it and at that point I was only going once a week to walk on the treadmill. Now I am doing it three to four times a week and have seen better improvements. And you know, he was right. I saw him again today at the Northside gym and he was very nice to me, and I think that it was because I stopped there on the way back from the southside gym and I was still all sweaty from my cardio session.

While I was driving over there, I thought about my bad habit and willpower. I used to say I couldn't quit smoking because of a lack of willpower. I have started to think that willpower is another word for self esteem and self confidence. Both of which I have lacked for years. I never believed I could do it. Lifting is starting to build up those mental areas, along with seeing a psychologist every two weeks.

I also had a brief thought about how much smoking is holding me back with my cardio. But right now I am just trying to get used to the habit of going to the gym. When that becomes a need greater than cigarettes, I will quit. I have a feeling that might be in the next couple of months. I have never really believed in my other quit attempts. And I still don't right now, but the thoughts and feelings necessary to do it are starting to emerge. I have learned I can't use logic to fight addiciton. That is what my previous 5 attempts at quitting have taught me. I know all the reasons I should quit, but my emotions don't necessarily agree with logic yet, but they are starting to be won over.

The oddest thing happened Monday. I was feeling icky and kind of depressed all day. I went to the gym in the afternoon with my husband (he didn't complain once!) and after my work out I felt much better and all the ickiness left me. So I have started to think about adding Saturday to my schedule at the gym, just a simple cardio session. I will see if that fights the Monday blues.

Today I noticed that my right arm looks bigger than my left arm and I think I need to use dumbells instead of the barbell for my lifting, to even out strength and size.

Everything I have read that says that you won't see any noticable benefits in the first 6-8 weeks after beginning strength training. I don't believe it. My posture has improved, I can sit up without using my arms, I have increased my weights by 10lbs and I have decreased the weights on the assisted pull up machine by 30lbs. I feel better about myself, I have more self confidence, and I am happier in general. And I can see my biceps even with all the fat on top of them. I can flex my pecs and make my girls jiggle, and sex has improved a whole lot. To me those are noticable improvements and benefits!

I think that is all I have to say for now.

[Ms. Lucy]

6-8 weeks for improvements--hell no! Try 2 weeks! They probably mean significant changes in your physical body--not necessarily other "improvements!"

Glad you're going to workout with a trainer--at least to start!

As for the smoking--it will come. I smoked a pack a day for over 20 years. After numerous attempts to quit I realized it was the same as anything else--it requires a whole lifestyle change. That's actaully when I started working out. I also used to drink a pot of coffee a day and eat crappy foods--that all went. It was weird because I never thought I could imagine myself NOT having a cigarette with my coffe or beer. Funny thing, but once I got rid of the coffee, beer and replaced my morning smoke with a morning walk followed by green tea, I finally got smoke free--and have been so for over 3 years! As for the cardio--can I tell you how nice it is to run and breathe at the same time!

But you'll get there--just know that this is all one big package of positive changes (geez I'm sounding ver Anthony Robbins today!). Anyways. Keep up the great attitute, know you'r eimproving everyday and DON'T FORGET TO TAKE THOSE BEFORE PHOTOS!!!!

Lucy

[eadreel]

So I used barbells tonight. Until that I had no idea how weak I am. Can anyone say wet noodle? So weak! grunting out 12 reps on french press with a 10lb weight. And using 20lbs for my dumbell bench presses, curls, yaddy yadda yadda...I did use 25lbs on my pec-deck flyes...yay! I only could do 6 pullups on the assisted machine at 150lbs and 8 dips on it too. That was momentary muscle failure for me. I did add 10lbs to my leg press, so up to 100lbs plus whatever the sled weighs. I think I need to add another 10lbs to my lat pull down, got to bring it to 60lbs.

I did manage to eat four times today!

And here is some other strange news...one of the people at the front desk at the gym chased me down as I was leaving and asked me to think about talking to a middle school classroom full of girls about the importance of exercise and controlling weight. I had mentioned I had lost about 60lbs about a year ago, and she thought of me when the teacher was asking her about having a guest speaker. I was kind of thinking in the back of my head, sure I'll tell them all the gross things that fat people don't tell you about being fat. And all the mental and emotional pain of being fat. I am still fat, so how does that look??? I went up to 220lbs and I am only at 217 right now. I told her I would think about it and give an answer Saturday when I went in to do my cardio.

I am thinking I will do it. Cuz no one told me about things like PCOS, increased testosterone levels, increased blood pressure, high cholesterol, feeling icky and depressed, social anxiety, women's clothing is made for someone who is at least 5'8", sex is horrible when you are fat, you forget how to have fun, there is a lot more, but I will have to really think and maybe come up with a speech and all that.

K, hubby distracting my train of thought! More tomorrow!

[eadreel]

I really did wake up one day and realized I was fat.
I thought about doing something about it.
I could always find excuses. (I can't exercise, I'm too fat)
It hurts to walk up one flight of stairs.
My knees hurt.
I got heel spurs, so my feet hurt ALL the time.
My low back hurts ALL the time.
Streatch marks all over my body.
Can't shave because of flabby fat and ingrown hairs on legs, so no shorts, skirts, capri's, bathing suits.
Have a small wardrobe and hate it.
Always sweating.
At a certain point have difficulty cleaning after using the toilet. (actually hurt myself trying)
Feet get fat and can't find shoes that are comfy. So sneakers always complete the outfit.

Maybe I will add more at some point in the future.

[eadreel]

Well, quite a lot has happened in the last few weeks. I finally got to meet up with my trainer. He is a German ex-competition bodybuilder. Unfortunatly he is not allowed to get into the diet and supplement area of training becuase of the regulations of the gym. I know stupid, but we still talk about diet and I ask him about supplements, and he tells me his opinion. I am happy with the training schedule he has made for me, with a review every four to six weeks to change it up, so my muscles keep building. Right now he is more concerned with building muscle on me while losing my fat. He calculated it at about 50%. No, I know it is right.
He seems to be really happy that I have the concepts behind a lot of the training and diet stuff. I only really needed help with the actual lifting routines. Like I didn't quite get how to do the different lifts.
I am really excited to finally get a routine down and to finally get someone who understands WHY I want to lift weights and doesn't laugh at my dream goal.

So I did speak to that class of 8th graders and I think I really scared them with all the things that can go wrong because of obesity. The great thing is that I felt like I did some good for the kids. I mean, gosh, they thought eating less (once or twice a day) was all it took and adding some kind of activity. They were suprised when I told them to effectively lose weight you should eat 4-6 times a day. And the girls thought that doing weight bearing exercises would bulk them up like guys. Whooo hooo, I squashed that myth for about 10 girls. The teacher asked me if I would come back in 8 weeks to talk to another group of kids.

Well, that is all for now. I am still working on the food portion of this whole mess I am in.

[eadreel]

Ok, I have been using mybodycomp.com to track my progress. So far after entering my 3rd week, my stats look pretty good to me. I have lost a total of 6.5 inches all over, decreased my fat mass by 2lbs and increased my lean mass by 3lbs. My bf % has gone from 50.48% to 49.30%.

Just that much improvement without watching my food intake. I can't even begin to imagine what it would be if I actually started my food diary. Which seeing these improvements after three weeks, I am definately starting my food diary Sunday. (that is when my husband leaves for three weeks). I can't wait to see what my stats will be by the time he gets back!

With this tracking the weight I put on doesn't seem so bad now that I know it is muscle. Even though I knew the scale was moving up because of putting on some muscle, I just didn't really believe it because I wasn't eating right. I figured somewhere in the back of my mind it was just fat being packed on by all the yummy schnitzel I was eating...lol. No more schnitzel for me! And definatly no more french fries. My true weakness. (actually all potatoes are my weakness).

[moody_weasel]

Ok, I have been using mybodycomp.com to track my progress. So far after entering my 3rd week, my stats look pretty good to me. I have lost a total of 6.5 inches all over, decreased my fat mass by 2lbs and increased my lean mass by 3lbs. My bf % has gone from 50.48% to 49.30%.


Wow, that is great for 3 weeks. Keep going. :)


With this tracking the weight I put on doesn't seem so bad now that I know it is muscle. Even though I knew the scale was moving up because of putting on some muscle, I just didn't really believe it because I wasn't eating right. I figured somewhere in the back of my mind it was just fat being packed on by all the yummy schnitzel I was eating...lol. No more schnitzel for me!

Any chance of getting "Schnitzel natur" instead of coated with breadcrumbs?
You've also lost inches so as long as your clothes don't get tighter it's muscle you're gaining.

[eadreel]

hehehe...the very meaning of schnitzel is breaded and fried (or baked). Otherwise it is just a pork cutlet.

So I started tracking my food intake (without changing my eating patterns) and realized I am only taking in about 1200 cals a day. I need to get that up to about 1600-1800 a day. I am doing a 40/40/20 on my nutrients. I had actually already been doing that, but didn't know it...lol. Great thing about eating like you are a diabetic before this whole bbing desire. Of course I had to increase only my protein intake. Got to love whey.

It is so hard to eat properly when my hubby is in the house. He can eat anything he wants and never gain any weight. But then again, if I don't take him to the store with me, I can get away with not buying his chips and candy and other bad foods. His metabolism is so fast that he puts off a lot of body heat. I wish I had a metabolism like that.

Well today was my first day on the trainer's lifting program, and gosh, I feel like a wet noodle. The only bad thing about the trip to the gym today is that some guys (powerlifters I think) were taking turns lifting like 600lbs in the squat rack, so I had to wander off and do my squats without a partner and without the rack. I was kinda mad about that (I am really weak on squats), but I think they were training for the competition this Saturday. So far I can only do squats with just the olympic bar. I will improve gradually. I feel so weak and self conscious at the gym lifting without my hubby there. I was the only chick in the gym today, but I never have the prob of guys hitting on me, which is the best part of being fat I guess...lol. I did have to ask someone how to do skull crushers because the cable machine that has the triceps pushdown was in use and tons of people were working in.

I had to sit in the car for like 30 minutes at the gym. I wasn't sure if I could drive home, and driving in Germany is pretty aggressive, and you have to have pretty good reflexes for things like traffic circles and the narrow streets.

Well, I'm off for the rest of the day now...I wonder if I can hold the controller to my video game...lol.

[moody_weasel]

IWell today was my first day on the trainer's lifting program, and gosh, I feel like a wet noodle. <snip>
I had to sit in the car for like 30 minutes at the gym. I wasn't sure if I could drive home, and driving in Germany is pretty aggressive, and you have to have pretty good reflexes for things like traffic circles and the narrow streets.


Did you bring anything to eat after your workout? You could take some whey and maltose with you and mix it after your workout. That would give you some energy.

As for the aggressive driving, just remember that you only pass cars on the left lane, never the right. Stay on the right lane if you drive slow.

[eadreel]

Yeah, I ate a low carb high protein bar while sitting in the car and finished off a liter of water.

The whey powder we found is really icky. Tastes horrid. I usually make a shake out of skim milk, raspberries, and whey. That is the only way it tastes half decent. I have tried strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, and I hate bananas.

So my post workout meal is a protein bar.

[eadreel]

Well it has been a couple of months since I have last put in an update. Things are going extermely well for me. I was sick for about a month so I took that month off. So I saw my trainer yesterday to change up my lifting schedule and we did another body fat measurement. It has gone from 49% to 37%! I am really excited and pumped. The teacher for that 8th grade class had me back to talk to another class of students. I find that it gives me extra motivation for things like diet and cardio. I find that I don't need incentive and motivation for lifting. I just love it.

My weight hasn't dropped, but that is ok with me. I look leaner than I did 10 weeks ago. Probably because of that 12% BF change.

I am just happy.

Ead.