View Full Version : Ladies, which do you like the best (pics inside) for my apology flowers?
Okay so I f'ed up with this girl, said something stupid to her. My apologies aren't working so far cause she's giving me that silent fury thing and all that. So now I guess I gotta go with something else. Anyway, I'm sending some daisies. Which one you like the best?
I like the one with the brown vase, but it's not available until Tuesday.
I was thinking about just going and picking some up myself and dropping them off but I don't want to show up at her door and be like mister stalker guy especially when she's pissed and needs some time to be pissed.
Or I could do the Misc Alpha thing and just be like, "suck it up and stop whining ! grr" but that won't fly with this girl. LOL
http://a1128.g.akamai.net/7/1128/497/0001/www.proflowers.com/prodimg/MBQasrtgerbs_l.jpg
http://www.floristexpress.net/images/products/large/TF-WEB3.jpg
http://long-beach-ca-florists.albanywebsites.com/flower_images/product/TFWEB-4.jpg
http://long-beach-ca-florists.albanywebsites.com/flower_images/product/B18-3741.jpg
http://a248.e.akamai.net/f/80/71/6h/www.ftd.com/pics/products/FFGD_c.jpg
http://a248.e.akamai.net/f/80/71/6h/www.ftd.com/pics/products/F914_c.jpg
Oh yah this is the one I originally liked, but there's too many flowers in it, but the vase kicks ass, although it isn't available until Tues.
http://a764.g.akamai.net/f/764/16742/1h/www.1800flowers.com/800f_assets/images/flowers/images/shop/catalog/16875vz.jpg
bttrthnb4
06-15-2007, 05:15 PM
I don't see a brown vase, but I like the next to last picture. Good luck man :)
OOps....lol nvm. Still like others :)
sixzebra
06-15-2007, 05:16 PM
personally, a couple of white longstemmed roses and a sincere "im sorry" would do it for me.
I don't see a brown vase, but I like the next to last picture. Good luck man :)
OOps....lol nvm. Still like others :)
Thanks!! Hope it goes well.
Jamie M
06-15-2007, 05:21 PM
personally, a couple of white longstemmed roses and a sincere "im sorry" would do it for me.
x 2
Hmmm thanks for the ideas on the white roses
Something lighter in this situation seems more appropriate plus it's more personalized. I might just stop by the local florist and put something together instead of relying on these packaged ones.
Is white roses an apology type of flower? And is there meaning in 2 of them?
I was thinking 2 white, 2 yellow and 2 burgundy
arobot
06-15-2007, 05:33 PM
I don't like any of them.
Go with the white roses.
I don't like any of them.
Go with the white roses.
Thanks!!!
I'm glad I posted here first
Reps for all you, appreciate your advice tremendously
bluegreen
06-15-2007, 06:25 PM
of what you posted, I like the second ones best. White roses are good too, as would a simple bouquet from somewhere local with a hand-written, sincere note. Good luck!
of what you posted, I like the second ones best. White roses are good too, as would a simple bouquet from somewhere local with a hand-written, sincere note. Good luck!
Ok cool thank you. I think I'm gonna wake up early tomorrow and get to a local florist and do something unique and have it delivered. The hand written note is nice too. A couple of white roses with a few mixed in with it. Hopefully they can deliver the same day, since Sunday is Father's Day. Cause I don't wanna deliver them she might think I'm a freak or something.
I'm gonna call tonight and leave her a message. I know she won't pickup but I'll just say hi.
Oh yah one more question, vase or no?
bluegreen
06-15-2007, 06:46 PM
vase! Something simple though. Definitely pick out in person so you can write the note - hope it works!
cool cool, that's what I was thinking
Plus the vase is another way to personalize it
LOL @ studdering voice mails!
Total beta maneuver there
sixzebra
06-15-2007, 09:21 PM
keep it simple. sometimes a little can say alot. don't clutter it up.
simple vase, couple of white roses and MAYBE some babysbreath. good luck :)
keep it simple. sometimes a little can say alot. don't clutter it up.
simple vase, couple of white roses and MAYBE some babysbreath. good luck :)
Thanks!
I left a cluttered stupid voice mail earlier, but tomorrow just gonna leave a simple arrangement for her and a note that says, "I'm sorry! Let's be friends."
Well this might make things worse but I'd rather give the effort and screw up than to not try at all.
She's def worth the effort
terracotta
06-15-2007, 10:45 PM
er.. I wouldn't do the let's be friend part.. just the "I'm sorry"
Of course, it depends on what you said to her.
mandi.c
06-15-2007, 11:00 PM
Hmmm thanks for the ideas on the white roses
Something lighter in this situation seems more appropriate plus it's more personalized. I might just stop by the local florist and put something together instead of relying on these packaged ones.
Is white roses an apology type of flower? And is there meaning in 2 of them?
I was thinking 2 white, 2 yellow and 2 burgundy
my mother was a florist
ok from what i remember, roses go like this
pink is for a crush on somebody
red is for love
white is to propose
yellow is come to bed
red and white is for funerals (never weddings means blood and bandages)
orange is for thanx
pink and cream sorry
dark red the same as red
hope this helps
bgurltryall
06-16-2007, 12:40 AM
my mother was a florist
ok from what i remember, roses go like this
pink is for a crush on somebody
red is for love
white is to propose
yellow is come to bed
red and white is for funerals (never weddings means blood and bandages)
orange is for thanx
pink and cream sorry
dark red the same as red
hope this helps
Yellow is friendship. My name means Yellow Rose so I get them a lot:P
Orange is desire and Deep Pink is thank you
White is innocence and purity
Maybe it's different in GB though.
My personal favorites are Lavender roses.
To OP yeah just say "I'm sorry".
The vase you originally picked out is very masculine. Remember it's for a girl:) A nice simple glass vase is all that's needed.
Good Luck!
Cool I think I'm just gonna say I'm sorry and thanks for the tips on the vace, you all have been so helpful to me and it's appreciated
----------
Bleh can't sleep
(Colin Powell incoming)
Regarding what originally happened, she was joking around and told me she had a disorder, but think along the lines of like ADD, or a learning disability. Something you would never be able to detect in someone else unless you are professional or unless someone told you about it. Well I took her seriously, I didn't realize she was joking.
Well I came across an article about this particular disorder while I was doing other reading, totally by chance. Like a dumb guy I wrote her this email and told her I had read the article and I understood it. HUGE MISTAKE. I was trying to be understanding but it obviously didn't go down that way. She took it as if I was researching her, I find her full of flaws, and was trying to correct her.
When really I liked her for who she was and including any imperfections but it came out the exact opposite of what I meant. I should have just kept the information to myself but I directly wrote her about it and now I think she hates me, or doesn't trust me anymore.
She said she wasn't mad and asked if we could drop it, but she's doing that "I didn't really drop it, I'm going to ignore you and make sure you know it" thing. If she wanted to make me feel bad it's certainly working cause I feel terrible and have apologized a few times already. I admit I was totally wrong about it and misunderstood. But now I think she's embarrassed that I would even think that she would have some kinda mental problem to begin with.
Anyway this has been going on for a couple of weeks now. I have been trying to give her space. She can at least look at me now but at first had a really upset look to her every time I saw her.
It's tough cause I have to walk a line between giving her space but being kind to her cause she seems day to day with this. Honestly I would be pissed off too if someone said that to me so I totally understand. I feel like if I apologize anymore it just keeps picking the scab but on the otherhand I need to make a bigger gesture than just emails and phone calls. I think I'm just gonna send these flowers and then let her cool off for a while. I dunno after this, it may push her away even more but I feel like I gotta make the gesture to her.
bgurltryall
06-16-2007, 01:35 AM
Cool I think I'm just gonna say I'm sorry and thanks for the tips on the vace, you all have been so helpful to me and it's appreciated
----------
Bleh can't sleep
(Colin Powell incoming)
(insert long post)
Was it OCD? How old is she? From what you've said she seems a bit over sensitive about something she doesn't even have. How is it offensive to be interested in her? You've got me curious now...was was the disorder?
Yeah it was OCD, and she is late 20s
She is very sensitive by the way
She tends to snap at people when she gets offended and then she doesn't really give them a chance to apologize. She wants to forget about it but she doesn't really forget about it, she just wants people to think she has forgotten about it, but doesn't really address it, just kinda hopes it will go away, and I think that makes it worse. It's why I have held back from apologizing so much. But I think I'm getting through to her slowly but I'm always afraid of taking it too far.
She told me she understood I was trying to be kind when I wrote her about it but told me it wasn't really a nice thing to say, and I can see where she was coming from with it.
bgurltryall
06-16-2007, 01:44 AM
Yeah it was OCD, and she is late 20s
She is very sensitive by the way
She tends to snap at people when she gets offended and then she doesn't really give them a chance to apologize. She wants to forget about it but she doesn't really forget about it, she just wants people to think she has forgotten about it, but doesn't really address it, just kinda hopes it will go away, and I think that makes it worse.
She told me she understood I was trying to be kind when I wrote her about it but told me it wasn't really a nice thing to say, and I can see where she was coming from with it.
HAHA! I knew it! O.k. becaaauuusee then it makes more sense. So, more questions. How did she 'joke' about it exactly? What did she actually SAY?
Also What exactly did you say when you mentioned the article that makes you say it wasn't a nice thing to say? (too many 'says' I know but it's too late for me to be eloquent!)
(I have a theory but I need more info first:P)
You are pretty smart, I bet your theory is going to be correct
Okay we were out on a couple of dates. This girl is sooo fun to be with cause she's just so random.
I noticed she has this thing with food, not just on those dates but in general. Certain smells make her sick to her stomach. For example, the first date she had to cover her food up with napkins when she was done with it. Probably the site of half eaten food grossed her out. The second date she spilled some popcorn into her nacho cheese and so she cordoned off that section of the nacho tray with a napkin again and said it was, "contaminated."
Now I thought these behaviors were totally adorable, I mean it's part of the reason I like her so much cause she's just so FREAKIN WEIRD. I mean I just love that about her.
Anyway we got back in the car, and I was telling her about how she was just so much fun to be around and how I like that "contaminated" thing she was doing. At that point she seemed to get a little uncomfortable and had this really vulnerable voice and said, "well it's cause of this OCD I have." And I said, "really?" And she got even more vulnerable and quieter and said, "kindof," in a way that she was totally exposed and my next response could have either made her day or ruined her week. ("Kindof" to me means YES). I said to her, "well we all have our quirks." And she got this really comforting look about her and smiled about it and had this kind of, "I trust you alot more now," vibe about her.
Anyway about the article, I mentioned the stuff about food and about germs, she told me she didn't need a lecture or a diagnosis. As soon as she read OCD in my email she didn't read any of the rest and just went off on me.
I can sense there is SOMETHING about her that she is embarrassed about. Maybe this OCD thing was just a test to see how I would react to it. I like this girl well enough there are very few things she could tell me that I would reject her over. Maybe this whole thing is a test. I'm not sure at this point LOL.
bgurltryall
06-16-2007, 02:17 AM
You are pretty smart, I bet your theory is going to be correct
Okay we were out on a couple of dates. This girl is sooo fun to be with cause she's just so random.
I noticed she has this thing with food, not just on those dates but in general. Certain smells make her sick to her stomach. For example, the first date she had to cover her food up with napkins when she was done with it. Probably the site of half eaten food grossed her out. The second date she spilled some popcorn into her nacho cheese and so she cordoned off that section of the nacho tray with a napkin again and said it was, "contaminated."
Now I thought these behaviors were totally adorable, I mean it's part of the reason I like her so much cause she's just so FREAKIN WEIRD. I mean I just love that about her.
Anyway we got back in the car, and I was telling her about how she was just so much fun to be around and how I like that "contaminated" thing she was doing. At that point she seemed to get a little uncomfortable and had this really vulnerable voice and said, "well it's cause of this OCD I have." And I said, "really?" And she got even more vulnerable and quieter and said, "kindof," in a way that she was totally exposed and my next response could have either made her day or ruined her week. ("Kindof" to me means YES). I said to her, "well we all have our quirks." And she got this really comforting look about her and smiled about it and had this kind of, "I trust you alot more now," vibe about her.
Anyway about the article, I mentioned the stuff about food and about germs, she told me she didn't need a lecture or a diagnosis. As soon as she read OCD in my email she didn't read any of the rest and just went off on me.
O.k. Yes. I am 98% certain she has OCD. You don't joke about having OCD, not like that. I was going to ask you if you'd noticed any behaviors but obviously you have. You need to know you did nothing innately wrong. She trusted you a lot to tell you that. You're response was lovely.
When you brought up the article her defense mechanism just kicked in of 'I'm not a freak!' Having OCD has a huge stigma attached to it. She wasn't reacting to your actions, she was reacting to feeling like she's not 'normal' cause that's what society, and often these articles, present. She's trained to a specific interpretation and was reacting to that. It's an extremely touchy thing fo many OCD sufferers; something they are ashamed of. If she told you later she was joking it was only cause she thinks you saw her as less 'normal' when you thought she had it. She wasn't joking though.
As for how to approach things, it's tricky. You say she doesn't let things go. That may very well be OCD related. people with OCD can have a hard time letting things go because their mind won't let them. It will obsess about things. This may be why she's acting the way she is. She wants to get past it but she can't yet. I'm not sure if you keep saying sorry it's going to help though. The more you say you're sorry the more you bring attention to it and it may make her feel stupid for reacting the way she did. I'm also pretty sure she's not really sure why she acted the way she did. It will blow over, but I'd just not bring it up any more. Act like it's not a big deal and it won't be. Don't give her something to obsess and wallow in. Is she still cool with going on dates? Go out on a non food focused date and do something fun, and treat her as though nothing's wrong or different.
sorry it took a while. It's late...or early:)
EDIT: Nah it's not a test. It's about feelings she already has in her of shame and embarrasment. Often people react to things before they are even aware of why.
O.k. Yes. I am 98% certain she has OCD. You don't joke about having OCD, not like that. I was going to ask you if you'd noticed any behaviors but obviously you have. You need to know you did nothing innately wrong. She trusted you a lot to tell you that. You're response was lovely.
When you brought up the article her defense mechanism just kicked in of 'I'm not a freak!' Having OCD has a huge stigma attached to it. She wasn't reacting to your actions, she was reacting to feeling like she's not 'normal' cause that's what society, and often these articles, present. She's trained to a specific interpretation and was reacting to that. It's an extremely touchy thing fo many OCD sufferers; something they are ashamed of. If she told you later she was joking it was only cause she thinks you saw her as less 'normal' when you thought she had it. She wasn't joking though.
As for how to approach things, it's tricky. You say she doesn't let things go. That may very well be OCD related. people with OCD can have a hard time letting things go because their mind won't let them. It will obsess about things. This may be why she's acting the way she is. She wants to get past it but she can't yet. I'm not sure if you keep saying sorry it's going to help though. The more you say you're sorry the more you bring attention to it and it may make her feel stupid for reacting the way she did. I'm also pretty sure she's not really sure why she acted the way she did. It will blow over, but I'd just not bring it up any more. Act like it's not a big deal and it won't be. Don't give her something to obsess and wallow in. Is she still cool with going on dates? Go out on a non food focused date and do something fun.
sorry it took a while. It's late...or early:)
EDIT: Nah it's not a test. It's about feelings she already has in her of shame and embarrasment. Often people react to things before they are even aware of why.
Wow
Thanks so much for your response. You know, I had a similar theory to yours.
I think I was on the right track until earlier this evening. When I left a stupid voicemail. The past couple of weeks I've just been trying to act normal like nothing ever happened. But tonight's voicemail rambled, made it sound like a big deal. I said I was wrong for what I did, but I also told her I thought she was sweet, smart, and beautiful and those are the only 3 important things she needs to think about when it comes to how I feel about her. ANything else I have said about her doesn't matter I said. You know a simpler thing to do would have been to just call and say, "I just wanted to say hi!" LOL
I asked her to give me a chance to redeem myself, that she didn't need to do it now but that I wanted the opportunity. I also said it was okay for her to be mad.
Flowers would probably just make it worse at this point. Maybe I should rephrase, "I'm sorry," to "You're the best," but seems like to just ditch that plan altogether is a better solution.
I don't see a date happening anytime soon right now. Just to get her to talk to me right now is a huge challenge. She does talk but it's short.
About her feeling less than normal, I have always felt like she has wanted my approval about things, especially when it comes to matters of intelligence. She tries so hard to impress me about things.
One of the things I pulled from the article is that it said OCD people are typically brilliant, almost gifted. I have told her that but she must have skipped over that part. She's extremely gifted in my opinion.
Thanks for staying up late. You've been beyond helpful.
I hope this works out, I like this girl alot, I hope she and I can get past this and just have some fun cause that's all I really want to do.
bgurltryall
06-16-2007, 02:43 AM
Wow
Thanks so much for your response. You know, I had a similar theory to yours.
I think I was on the right track until earlier this evening. When I left a stupid voicemail. The past couple of weeks I've just been trying to act normal like nothing ever happened. But tonight's voicemail rambled, made it sound like a big deal. I said I was wrong for what I did, but I also told her I thought she was sweet, smart, and beautiful and those are the only 3 important things she needs to think about when it comes to how I feel about her. ANything else I have said about her doesn't matter I said. You know a simpler thing to do would have been to just call and say, "I just wanted to say hi!" LOL
I asked her to give me a chance to redeem myself, that she didn't need to do it now but that I wanted the opportunity.
Flowers would probably just make it worse at this point. Maybe I should rephrase, "I'm sorry," to "You're the best," but seems like to just ditch that plan altogether is a better solution.
I don't see a date happening anytime soon right now. Just to get her to talk to me right now is a huge challenge. She does talk but it's short.
About her feeling less than normal, I have always felt like she has wanted my approval about things, especially when it comes to matters of intelligence. She tries so hard to impress me about things.
One of the things I pulled from the article is that it said OCD people are typically brilliant, almost gifted. I have told her that but she must have skipped over that part. She's extremely gifted in my opinion.
Thanks for staying up late. You've been beyond helpful.
I hope this works out, I like this girl alot, I hope she and I can get past this and just have some fun cause that's all I really want to do.
Aw well she's a fool if she doesn't cause you seem like a good guy:)
O.k. I'm off to bed BUT I'm gonna PM you tomorrow (uh later today:P ) about being with someone with OCD and a bit more in depth info that you might find of aid, and if you need more advice or you don't understand her actions just PM me and I'll happily attempt to help!
Night!!!
Aw well she's a fool if she doesn't cause you seem like a good guy:)
O.k. I'm off to bed BUT I'm gonna PM you tomorrow (uh later today:P ) about being with someone with OCD and a bit more in depth info that you might find of aid, and if you need more advice or you don't understand her actions just PM me and I'll happily attempt to help!
Night!!!
Thanks for the compliment and all your help, and for your offer to help decipher her actions. I will probably be hitting you up about that.
Sleep well!
Hmmmm I might change the card to like "just because" or something like that
Aight I need to get some sleep, talking about obsessive, I think I got the problem tonight LOL
Alright well I ended up nixing the flowers and honestly I am tired of this whole thing.
I said I was sorry already and I've pretty much said and done everything a person should be reasonably expected to do. I'm really done dealing with this chick if she wants to be a total jerk about it well she can have fun doing it by herself.
Guys like me don't grow on trees so her loss.
terracotta
06-17-2007, 01:40 PM
oic.. definitely not a "flowers" issue. A "flowers" issue is when you jokingly make a comment about her weight.
She has to learn how to deal with her issues. This isn't about you.
Yeah definitely, I'm pretty pissed now about this whole thing after thinking about it. Thanks to everyone for helping me put this in perspective, especially bgurltryall.
Plus I think flowers should be a nice thing anyway you give to a girl just because you want to, not cause you messed up, which I didn't do here but blamed myself for it anyway.
I'm never letting this happen again
sixzebra
06-18-2007, 05:07 AM
Alright well I ended up nixing the flowers and honestly I am tired of this whole thing.
I said I was sorry already and I've pretty much said and done everything a person should be reasonably expected to do. I'm really done dealing with this chick if she wants to be a total jerk about it well she can have fun doing it by herself.
Guys like me don't grow on trees so her loss.
well that sucks, sorry about her loss. enjoy your freedom for awhile :D freeeeeeedom!
Freeeeeeeeeedooooooooooooooooooooom
wow, strong forearms
http://img24.photobucket.com/albums/v71/joe6pak/braveheart.jpg
Jordyn
06-20-2007, 08:23 AM
i like the colors here
http://long-beach-ca-florists.albanywebsites.com/flower_images/product/B18-3741.jpg
DonMegaR
06-20-2007, 09:11 AM
if u pissed her off u need to get a solitary white / yellow / pink rose.
the colors are a display of true friendship. If you get her a vase with flowers in it, its only gonna be a bad reminder for her. dying roses are a good metaphor for moving on, so the quicker they wilt the better.
POV from a romantic...