lost, need advice

[powerstar]

Hi All,
I am new and never posted here before. I am a 42 year old female, single parent. I have always prided myself in the past about my level of fitness and have always managed to be in shape. Years ago around 1994 I started training regularly in the gym about 2 - 4 times per week, mainly focusing on heavy lifting.
The leg press helped me achieve much needed shape and mass to my lower half. I have always been on the thin side. I started to get away from working out in 2000, when life's events and stress took its toll on me and ever since I've been trying to get back into it, before I am so out of shape it's hopeless. I've been someone active since 2000, but more unexpected events again took their toll. I have put a very nice gym in my basement and have started back this past jan 17th. I feel the worst that I have ever felt in my entire life. What I have been striving for since jan, is mainly consistency. Life will continue to take its toll and I need to get back in shape regardless, losing my health is not worth it to me. But for some reason, my body doesn't seem to be responding like it used to, yeah i know.. i am 42 now - i really need some advice, don't know where else to turn. All my friends and family are of the mindset that we get older etc and getting out of shape is just a part of it .. I cannot deal w/ that way of thinking. I don't know what the problem is, my whole body composition has changed and it has me really depressed and overwhelmed. I am still on the thin side , but fat - if that makes sense. If I go on a diet so to speak, I look too thin.
I used to have such muscle tone in my triceps, thru my midsection etc, now I am still the same size, maybe even a little smaller, and everywhere is just fat and it's really really bumming me out.
I used to be able to walk w/ such strength, now I feel so different, my posture is changing too. This all is driving me nuts.
My health is so important to me and because I have been there for so many others, I have taken my eye off things and am now paying the price.
If anyone could just give me some advice or hope I would really appreciate it .. I try hard to get in shape and for some reason it doesn't appear to be changing and I am basically w/out any type of positive support and I am alone. I am careful to eat every 3 hours and not overtrain etc. I want to get rid of all this flab and replace it w/ my muscles again but w/ everything else constantly demanding my attention, I just want to give up. Please advise, thanks.

[Lynne]

Hi powerstar,

You've come to the right place! Yes, a person certainly can be skinny-fat. Look at someone who has lost weight on a diet like Weight Watchers or any other low-cal diet. As we get older we lose muscle mass and that beautiful "tone" we covet. Strength and muscle mass are a function of fitness. You are lacking muscle mass my dear. It is that simple. You must eat plenty of food or you'll waste your time in the gym plus you will burn up the muscle, and even gain fat. Most bb's and fitness enthusiasts will recommend eating about 6 meals a day. You need at least .8 - 1 gram of protein for every pound you weigh, so if you weigh 130, that's 130 grams of protein divided by 6. Protein is extremely important for gaining mass. Out of your 6 meals a day, youtwo should comprise a preworkout and a postworkout meal. The postworkout meal should contain 20-30 grams of carb. A perfect postworkout meal would be a whey shake with 20-30 grams of carb (a simple carb like grape juice would be great). Also, since you are on the thin side, you can probably enjoy more carbs than most. And don't forget the healthy fats such as walnuts, almonds, peanuts, olive oil, flax if you like it, salmon, tuna, and even peanut butter. Take a look at some of the photos on here to give you some inspiration. Also, more ladies may be around during the work week to give more advice. And you can look better than any 20 year old BTW. I have the beautiful legs and butt to prove it ;)
Lynne

[powerstar]

Thank you, can I ask how old you are and how long you've been training ? I think I eat a lot. I am scared, I just want to see some results and I know that we inspire me. I am 5'6'' and weigh around 135. I used to have a shapely butt, now its flat and lifeless ! So depressing to me, really.
I eat myoplex light and oatmeal around 8
around lunch I eat rice or potatoes , veggie and chicken or tuna
around late afternoon I eat eggwhites or cottage cheese, and apple
I go home and have a whey shake : workout: and then another shake
I wait a few hours then eat dinner which is chicken, veggie, or fish and maybe some complex carbs
At bed I usually have another shake for nighttime

I don't remember when things fell apart, the last time I felt "strong" was end of 2002. Its been downhill ever since.
Right around that time, I started taking lots of different vitamins, lots. I am wondering if they had some sort of effect on the weight loss / muscle loss... I don't know. I stopped all vitamins recently. I just need to get things under control before it's too late. I am really worried as I draw strength from my health and now, its' slipping. And the more I look in the mirror and realize how much my body has deteriorated, it really brings me down.
I am a really good person and I just want to continue to be a good mom to my son, I don't want to fall apart . My body used to respond so well to exercise, now it just seems to be getting worse. And so many people have the mindset that if someone is "thin" that means they are in shape. So when I look for support and help there's not much encouragement or sympathy b/c they don't understand I guess.



Thanks for all the support.

[Power-Quest]

Article on the main page of bodybuilding.com not sure if you have seen or read it yet... http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/henkin32.htm

[Officer Iron]

Hello and welcome, I think a very different change from what your use to might help. Lets just say a change up in everything but with the same goals.

1. Have you ever taken martial arts? If not look into it, in my OP it is the best sport for cardio and strength, it will help you with self confidence and security.

2. You diet can be a big problem, keep it clean and tight.

3. When you have a bad day then go heavy, if you have alot of weight on you then you can make yourself get motivated.

4. FORGET YOUR AGE !!! Go do something for you no matter what it is just make it something youve always wanted to do even if it is that little secret in the back of your head.

5. Get your ass moving were now going to be waiting to hear back from you.

Best of luck,
Officer Iron

[powerstar]

Thank you all for your replies. It really is helping and much needed and appreciated. I will heed all the advice.

[Charger]

Originally posted by powerstar
All my friends and family are of the mindset that we get older etc and getting out of shape is just a part of it .. I cannot deal w/ that way of thinking.

Doesn't that just piss you off. Last time I was around my mother I made the mystake to mention a sore back from lifting and got the speech about getting older(41 myself) and needing to slow down.
Slow down hell!

Powerstar, welcome and here is my advice. I am not going to offer advice on how to train or how to diet. It sounds like you know how, it's motivation you need.
1. You must have some YOU time. Without it, you will be no good to anyone.
2. Join a gym! Get with other people who share your passion to be fit. It will give you inspiration to push harder. One thing is for sure, at our age it is harder to stay fit, but well worth it.
3. Stick around here. There are alot of good people here that will help.
Good Luck!

[TrishB]

Welcome Powerstar! :)

One way to make your workouts consistent, is to plan ahead. I always have done my workouts first thing in the morning. For years, that meant getting up at 4:15 am to get the "job" done.

You won't gain muscle being a weekend warrior. You need to set up a routine and chart and follow it religiously.

And you won't lose fat just eating every 3 hours, if you are not eating the right foods.
Your diet does not have to be complicated or low calorie....just clean.
Go onto Fitday.com and keep track for a few days to see where you weaknesses may be.

Yes, it does suck getting old....but that is not an excuse to get fat.
I have a dozen excuses everyday to quit, but I really like putting on size 2 jeans without having to suck in any gut. :)

You can get your body back, even better than before. But it takes commitment. You can do it honey! :)

[Lynne]

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=208588&highlight=Leg+Routine

Hi powerstar,

The above is a leg routine that will definitely give you a shapely butt! It is important to do all of the exercises. Where are you with weights? I don't know what kind of workout you are doing or for how long. Most bb's recommend you don't go over an hour. A good workout should take you 30-45". Hopefully, you are doing a split routine. What kind of cardio are you doing? How long? Too much cardio will eat up your muscle. 5'6 and 135# certainly doesn't sound overweight. Sounds like an awful lot of shakes though...one before w/o, one after, and one before bed. You should be adding some carb (fruit) to the postworkout shake to facilitate muscle growth. I don't know if you need the before bed shake. I'd be cautious about that. And once again, add some good fats to your diet. Give us more details on your workout routines. Lynne

[Lynne]

In response to your questions....

I'm 46, will be 47 in September. I have worked out off and on for about 26 years, Nautilus, Judo, and even professional belly-dancing. I did gain weight and get out of shape. My metabolism changed, my hormone balances changed, and I consumed too many calories without exercise. Also, there is a likelihood I have PCOS which has an effect on insulin metabolism. Last July, I began doing cardio for one-two hours a day and I lost 2 sizes in less than twelve weeks; I also lowered my blood lipids from a high-risk level to a very low-risk level in that same time period. I began walking with dumbbells for an hour and almost immediately I began to see muscle growth. I then started with two full-body workouts a week, for about a month. After a month, I had added too many sets and too many reps to continue full-body workouts, so I started a split routine. Wow! What muscle growth and definition. My glutes got plenty round and lifted :D. But I am also a mesomorph build - I can gain muscle fast - that's just genetic. I cannot lose fat on a vegan or vegetarian diet nor gain much muscle. But on a mixed diet or low-carb diet, I can lose fat and gain muscle. The key for me, if I eat a mixed diet, is to get plenty of cardio. Now, that will backfire for a lot of people - lots of carbs. I also overdeveloped my legs with the above routine (I doubt you will have that problem but it is easy to correct), so I am walking with 8# dumbbells (16# total) very briskly for an hour a day, plus I'm trying different things with the squats, lunges, and deadlifts (no weights for the squats and lunges right now).

[GreenAdam]

Powerstar -

Let me tell you my story and see if it helps with your motivation.

I'm 32 years old and have a story very similar to yours. I always kept in shape when I was younger, but lost track of myself after college. About 4 years ago I built a nice gym in my basement and started working out. The results were amazing - I lost 25 pounds on the scale (much more than that in fat when you consider all the muscle I added). In about 4 months, I was stronger than I had been in my whole life and felt like I was 18 again. I maintained this very well for a year.

And then we sold our house and moved. The move made me tear down my home gym and store the equipment. Dealing with new house issues kept me from working out. When I would consider working out, the lack of free space in my basement killed the project before it even started. My weight went from a very fit 175 pounds to a bloated, lethargic, and VERY unhealthy 185 (I know it's only 10 pounds on the scale, but the QUALITY of the weight is the key - I looked like an athletic, vital person at 175 and looked like a pasty, flabby couch potato at 185).

My family and I took a cruise in early February of this year. The pictures of the trip came back and I was APPALLED. Several shots of me in a tank top, several with shorts on. I looked like a round faced lazy lardball - could not even stand to look at the pictures - seriously. This was the final straw for me.

Today, only 12 weeks later, I am at about 168 pounds and every bit as strong as I was before. I still have a few pounds to lose around the middle, but the shirt-off before and after is simply amazing. My face is thinner, my steps are lighter, and my wife is running for cover on a nightly basis (but not trying to run fast enough to avoid me!). I feel like a totally new person.

People that haven't seen me for 3 months can't believe it's me.

The best part: the transformation really has been SIMPLE. It sounds funny to hear that, but it really has been SIMPLE. Drop the soda and junk food, lift 4 times per week for about 40 minutes, do a little modest cardio a few times a week, and eat a clean diet (veggies, complex carbs, and lots of lean protein).

[Lynne]

Originally posted by GreenAdam
Powerstar -

Let me tell you my story and see if it helps with your motivation.

I'm 32 years old and have a story very similar to yours. I always kept in shape when I was younger, but lost track of myself after college. About 4 years ago I built a nice gym in my basement and started working out. The results were amazing - I lost 25 pounds on the scale (much more than that in fat when you consider all the muscle I added). In about 4 months, I was stronger than I had been in my whole life and felt like I was 18 again. I maintained this very well for a year.

And then we sold our house and moved. The move made me tear down my home gym and store the equipment. Dealing with new house issues kept me from working out. When I would consider working out, the lack of free space in my basement killed the project before it even started. My weight went from a very fit 175 pounds to a bloated, lethargic, and VERY unhealthy 185 (I know it's only 10 pounds on the scale, but the QUALITY of the weight is the key - I looked like an athletic, vital person at 175 and looked like a pasty, flabby couch potato at 185).

My family and I took a cruise in early February of this year. The pictures of the trip came back and I was APPALLED. Several shots of me in a tank top, several with shorts on. I looked like a round faced lazy lardball - could not even stand to look at the pictures - seriously. This was the final straw for me.

Today, only 12 weeks later, I am at about 168 pounds and every bit as strong as I was before. I still have a few pounds to lose around the middle, but the shirt-off before and after is simply amazing. My face is thinner, my steps are lighter, and my wife is running for cover on a nightly basis (but not trying to run fast enough to avoid me!). I feel like a totally new person.

People that haven't seen me for 3 months can't believe it's me.

The best part: the transformation really has been SIMPLE. It sounds funny to hear that, but it really has been SIMPLE. Drop the soda and junk food, lift 4 times per week for about 40 minutes, do a little modest cardio a few times a week, and eat a clean diet (veggies, complex carbs, and lots of lean protein).

Congratulations Green Adam. I bet you don't count calories either? What do you do in the way of fat?

[GreenAdam]

Actually, I do count calories. But that's more because I'm an engineer and get off on record keeping (it's in my genes, I think). There is no doubt in my mind, however - just dropping the sodas and junk were the real difference - I actually have to force myself to eat more some days since I notice that my total calories are lower than they should be for my size. Ever try to eat 400 calories in a chocolate muffin compared to 400 calories in chicken breast? The 400 muffin calories are a STARTER and the 400 chicken calories are a complete gut buster to choke it all down!

I pretty much eat lean protein the majority of the time (chicken, turkey breast, chicken, fish, tuna, chicken) and don't pay much attention to the amount of fat I eat. I bet I'm in the 20 total grams range some days and 75 total grams range on other days. I also tend to shy away from the higher fat proteins like ground beef and pork, but I also don't lose any sleep when I end up eating something like that.

[powerstar]

greenadam,
i must say you really did inspire me ! thank you so much for the story. I am a single parent, own a home, work 2 jobs , last year from march thru december i was literally working about 90 hours per week on top of the day to day obligations of keeping the house running. I had this debt to pay off which i owed my stepmom .. about 40K .. and i was determined to get it paid so i set myself on this course starting in march to earn money and made regular monthly payments to her bank, w/ the final payment in december. So, I know part of my reason for losing ground physically is from the work, the stress, I had lost one of my jobs prior to all this starting, so spent a lot of time on the job hunt / interviewing etc .. also went thru a very painful breakup .. so it was many things coming together and i was alone trying to keep it all together ... emotionally as well as financially.
so all this took its toll on my physical state and i know i wasnt eating properly, working out consistently etc ... then i was also involved in a litigation w/ a company in Arizona who manufacturers Gym equipment b/c i was at the same time building a gym in my basement. The company is called ProFitness and my advice to anyone here is not to do business w/ them, it exasburates me just to think about what they put me thru. Dragged on for years and i still dont have a piece of equipment i ordered in feb of 2002. They wont refund money.
Anyway .. its a lot for one person to shoulder everything and to be placed under the stress which i have been under since 2001.
But the good news is .. I paid my debt off, got a new job .. a great job and i am slowly eliminating the people in my life whom have caused me a lot of pain and frustration ... the guy from Profitness : i basically cut my loss and moved on ... I have completed my gym in my basement and now, i just want to take a "time out" and totally focus on my workouts and nutrition. I have been so emotionally "spent" and drained from the events
of the past years, I am taking some time to be alone and try to get in touch w/ what it is in life i truly want , which has kind of gotten lost over the past years, and also getting my physical and mental state back to a healthy one. I cannot continue to allow things in life inhibit my progress, b/c in the end, if my health goes then none of this other stuff even matters.

Thank you again and good luck !!!

[powerstar]

Lynn,

Thank you for your post. I spent last 2 years putting a gym in my basement complete w/ hanging leg raise, hyperext bench,
abb / add nautilus machine, leg extension , horizontal leg press, 45 degree leg press, smith machine, cable crossover,
walk in squat rack , dumbbells from 3 lbs to 75 lbs , one set of each. a treadmill .. hmmmm .. whatelse, i have various benches : incline, decline, military press bench, flat olympic bench , a smaller flat bench w/ leg attach for leg curls,
lots of things down there ! in the old days i could leg press up to 500 lbs .. on a good day. but i was never overly muscular.
now i am starting back and i keep the workouts under an hour.

Sunday I did shoulders and traps: shrugs w/ db and smith.
I did military press w/ db and smith. I did front lat raises w/ cable crossover and some w/ db and i did a few other military movements on the crossover.

Monday I did the leg press 45 degree and worked up to 200 lbs
I did many sets and this was all i did monday. I was extremely sore all week till thurs

Tuesday I did chest and arms: Incline press w/ db and on smith.
Pushups, pullovers, hammercurls, lots of tricep work on the crossover and I did a few sets for my forearms : i have very skinny wrist / forearm area.

Wed, Thurs was Rest

Friday I did very light legs : extension, leg curl , butt blaster,
abb / add and calves

Sat: today I plan on doing Back w/ deadlifts, low cable rows,
lat pulldowns,

Sun: I plan on doing ABS and walking on Treadmill. I can't run, it hurts my joints. So , the only type of cardio i normally do is walking. I usually wear 5 lb weight on each ankle, always done this.

Depending on how I feel, I will then do legs on Monday or Tuesday : Squats and Lunges

I have never been an avid squatter, or lunger but from reading these posts I realize I am missing out on a good thing.

Occassionally I have problem w/ my knee and back area so I have to be careful.

My personal goal is to increase the size and strength of my midsection : abs , obliques, area just above hip area : lower back. I used to have a stronger midsection and now i think i am too skinny , although I have nice hip to waist ratio so that is good but i want to beef this area back up, I want some thickness.

I also want to put the mass on my butt and thru the hip area,
also my hamstrings : my favorite. I never used to have trouble putting mass on my butt in the past, although I always had a layer of fat, but the shape was nice. Now, I have lost most the muscle thru my hip and butt region and it makes me really upset b/c years ago I was making such good progress !
My calves look nice from the back but from the front look too thin.
And i would like to put the mass back on my thighs.

As for upper body, I want to firm up my triceps : have gotten a little out of shape, used to be one of my easiest areas to train,
and i just want to look healthy and strong thru my shoulder, neck, chest and arm region but dont want to be real big thru this area.

I will write my eating habits in another post, someone is at the door LOL! cya.
.