They should be more accomodating to us!!! [Archive]

Lizzee

07-17-2003, 07:26 PM

I need to know if this happens to anyone, and what your thoughts are on this.

I am soooo tired of my friends, and one family member in particular, and just people surrounding me in general always pointing out what I eat, drink, etc, and I feel like I'm being criticised for it now.

If we're having a get together and I volunteer to bring something, there go the wave of moans and everyone starts bitching and cracking up on me because it's all going to be "low fat" or "too healthy."

If we go out I hear a chorus of "Are you going to drink tonight?"
Who cares if I drink or not?
And if I have a drink....they point it out, "you're drinking, wow!"

I had a muffin the other day at work, a co-worker said "you're eating that, oh my god." I rarely talk to her about things, let alone let her in on what I eat on a daily basis, but she feels it's okay to insert her opinion too.

I made the grave mistake of taking some popcorn to my friend's barbeque so that I would know exactly what I was eating and not overeat and snack on worse stuff.....I'm so sorry I did that, I haven't heard the end of it to this day.

I NEVER infringe on anybody's lifestyle, I can't imagine joking/harrassing them like they do me with things like: Wow! you're going to have that Long Island Tea? Do you know how many calories are in that drink, not to mention sugars? And did you know sugar gets stored as fat, hence, those big craters on your continually expanding FAT ASS commonly referred to as cellulite??????

I know they think it's funny, but it does get on my nerves feeling like everyone is watching I can't eat in peace. And they don't know what it's like becase I'm a minority amongst people that overindulge, and eat like ****....so I end up the weirdo.

After giving this a lot of thought also, I have realized that there are two people that NEVER give me a hard time. My bestfriend and my cousin!! My bestfriend is constantly inviting all of us girls (there's like 10 of us) to her house, and if she's making dinner she always calls me and tells something like "I'm making lasagna, but I'm defrosting a chicken breast for you and I've got vegetables" And my cousin has never ever poked fun at the way I eat either. I totally appreciate it!

I guess psychologically I make them feel guilty without saying anything, so they retaliate by poking fun at me so they don't feel so bad.....but it's getting old. But what am I supposed to do? Start drinking lard by the tub fulls to accomodate them? Shouldn't it be the other way around, I mean, mine is the better idea; at least I think!

They kind of noticed that I was getting pissed when one day I pulled out my "No Pudge" brownie mix :) that I had never tried, and when one complained I got serious and told her that she didn't have to f____n' eat it.

Does this happen to anyone else? I'm not going to go out and get new friends, they are all dollies and we have lots of fun....plus I can't alienate everyone that bugs me about it, that's too many people to push away, plus they think it's "cute" I don't think they're trying to be malicious.

I'm just going to start telling everyone to pull the Twinkie out of their mouths and back the hell off!!!

TrishB

07-17-2003, 08:19 PM

That stuff happens all the time. Friends and relatives....always make a big deal out of what I am eating (or not eating).

I have given up trying to explain that I eat healthy, so I am not going to munch on the Fritos and dip, and that I eat 6 times a day, so I do not need to have 2nds or 3rds.

And it is always the obese ones with the twinkies shoved in their mouths who seem to want to always give me advice on diet. :confused:

MDC

07-17-2003, 08:32 PM

Originally posted by TrishB
And it is always the obese ones with the twinkies shoved in their mouths who seem to want to always give me advice on diet. :confused:

They're the most "experienced" at it :eek:

sillygirl

07-17-2003, 10:02 PM

Hahaha. I'm also in the same boat. It seems like I'm constantly under scrutiny. It's as if people feel threatened by me. My immediate family is pretty accomodating, and they're always eager to try any new little "healthy" dishes I make or food I've picked up from the organic/natural food store.

But my Aunts, Uncles, and Grandparents are a different story...case in point, our last family vacation. I got ridiculed for not eating any of the pasta [we had fettucine alfredo- I just opted for a few grilled chicken breasts, it's what I WANTED, DANGIT]. I never heard the end of it. :rolleyes:

And my grandma still sends me tins of 2 dozen chocolate cookies once a month. Hahaha. Nevermind the fact that I moved 700 miles away to get a degree in Human Performance [fitness/nutrition], and nevermind the fact it costs her about $20 to ship the darn things.

Everywhere I go, people are so eager to share their junk food. Like I said, I think they must feel threatened... :(

cdmuscle

07-18-2003, 07:45 AM

Ditto. I believe it is jealousy. They are very intimidated by the fact that you have a desire to look and feel good about yourself and are willing to do what it takes to get there.

Guilt is a harsh motivator for our family, co-workers and friends when they go home, strip off all the baggie clothes and are faced with what is the truth in the mirror. When they see you, they want to sabotage what you are doing so they won't feel so guilty about themselves.

Childish - isn't it?

Be strong and realize that you have a lot to be proud of! The more grief you get, the better you look :) .

HAHAHAHA

Sianne

07-18-2003, 07:56 AM

I have just started all of this, and my diet isen't as extreme as most most of ya'lls, but am trying to stay away from alot of the junk food, and fat. But I have always admired ppl who could resist the junk.
My mother has been dieting for about a year now. She'll take us out to fast food and not eat. I say-Mom, how do you do it? Plus I say-If it's to hard to resist, don't worry about taking us out. (She has lost 70 lbs now too....WAY TO GO MOM!!)

Hibiscus09

07-18-2003, 09:46 AM

Good for your mom! :)

One of my relatives used to get really mad & say I was rude if I ate something different from everyone else -- even when they were visiting MY home. LOL I'd pull out the oatmeal instead of bacon, sausage, etc. & use butterbuds instead of butter. It about sent him over the edge. :D Lately, he just isn't saying anything. Thank you, thank you.

Lizzee

07-18-2003, 02:05 PM

Wow! Good for your mom, Sianne, that's an accomplishment.

I think people do feel extremely threatened and it seems like they purposefully try and sabotage our efforts out of sheer guilt, it is childish! However, they don't view it as such a bad thing....it's just a little evil, but it's okay, no harm done.

But it's not a guilt trip that I'm giving them, it's the guilt trip that they're giving themselves at the reminder of how crappy they're eating in comparison to someone that sits down with a plate of healthy nutritious food.

Good example: I turned 30 in August and my girlfriends were taking me out for a night on the town. Two of them hinted that they wanted me to drink...and I knew if they were hinting, that meanth that behind my back there was a a full-blown meeting complete with powerpoint slides, charts and graphs discussing how boring I'd become since I stopped being a lush, and what was the best strategy to get me to drink so I'd become inebriated, and vomit!!! If I didn't throw up on myself that night, it just wasn't going to be a good birthday for me....was it really for me or for them though?

I kept thinking, but it's my birthday, why can't we do what I want, and I don't want to throw up tonight...isn't that the way it usually goes?

If it were the other way around, and I decided for their birthdays that they couldn't drink, wouldn't that be seen as rude and selfish? I'd probably lose them as friends for ruining their birthday.

There's a screwed up double standard there that I'm not liking here.

I made 7-layer dip for a work party and I brought my sister along, after she saw the dip she asked "Oh God, is everything in there low-fat and diet?" I just said, it's my dip.
On our way back from the party I pointed out how my 7-layer dip got scarfed down and NOBODY even noticed that I used healthier alternatives. See, then what the hell is the big deal anyway?

One thing I have noticed that they don't give me a hard time about is going to the gym as consistently as I do...they don't even touch that subject. That seems to be in a different arena than food, they actually seem have respect for the consistency because they never go. Maybe it's because I do that on my own and it's not so "in your face" as having a meal next to each other.

But I wonder why it's okay to ridicule one and not the other? I guess trying to make fun of going to the gym isn't really funny because in everyone's opinion, people should go to the gym (not that everybody does though).

I have noticed that I don't hang out as much as I used to or cut out earlier than before just to avoid going overboard because our social lives revolve around drinking and eating, but it's okay, I'm used to it!!

I kind of wish I knew someone here with my same interests...anyone live in Houston?
Okay, I'm getting off my soapbox because I'm about to write a novel here.

sillygirl

07-18-2003, 03:19 PM

Originally posted by Lizzee

I made 7-layer dip for a work party and I brought my sister along, after she saw the dip she asked "Oh God, is everything in there low-fat and diet?" I just said, it's my dip.
On our way back from the party I pointed out how my 7-layer dip got scarfed down and NOBODY even noticed that I used healthier alternatives. See, then what the hell is the big deal anyway?

OHHHH my goodness. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've had people say that to me and have been in that situation. ARGH!

:rolleyes:

Lizzee

07-18-2003, 03:37 PM

...to know that I'm not the only one that goes through this! I always feel like I'm alone on this, but apparently not.

RippedUp

07-19-2003, 03:16 AM

Here's some food for thought.

"People KNOW that you eat that way for a specific reason, people also know that you LOOk the way you do, due your disciplined lifestyle which includes eating & training. YOU eat different from the Normal population and therefore, you LOOK different than them.

The Average person does not like a constant reminder , everyday , in their face of their own personal lack of discipline, passion, motivation in their own life.

Every day they see you, they are reminded of what they are not.
Sad, but true.

Rather than step up and become what they want, it is easier to bad mouth people like us. It is easier for them.

This fact alone is a MAJOR motivator for most of us. We gain strength from their weakness.

We become even more disciplined each time we are questioned about our lifestyle by some dough-boy.

We are a true rarity, we know that we can take these efforts, discipline, and belief in ourselves and transform that into ANY endevor in our life!"

Gottmuscle

07-21-2003, 06:28 AM

Hey, if this stuff bothers you then you're gonna have to fix yourself or get new friends. You can't change the other person.

Nothing stops criticism faster than a big, huge, genuine, confidant smile and a simple, generic answer.

Friend: "Great, is that low-fat dip?" (Scarcasm)

You: (Big, huge, genuine, confidant smile) "You betcha!" (Turn and walk away)

Friend: "Are you gonna eat this with the rest of us?"

You: (Big, huge, genuine, confidant smile) "No thanks, I ate earlier." (Turn and walk away)

Friend: "You're actually drinking??"

You: (Big, huge, genome, confidant, simile) "That's Right! Cheers!" (Clink glasses, turn and walk away!)

You may have to do this more than once with more than one person in your group. Initially, you'll feel like a smiling bumper car. The object is to radiate sincerity, patience, and confidence, but refuse to engage in further discussion about your food and drink choices. Eventually, these people will get the idea that they're treading on thin ice. Make it uncomfortable for THEM to comment on your choices without actually being rude, and you'll get somewhere. If anyone is crass enough to persist in hounding you about your dietary choices then cut them off quickly by stating that you'd rather your dietary choices not be the subject of discussion, thanks. Be polite, but be firm, and MEAN what you say! If anyone chides you beyond that point, be prepared to split. Don't throw a hissy fit, just leave. After all, you're the one who's uncomfortable about their remarks; they're not uncomfortable! Your body is your own personal business. Make it clear to these people that the subject of your diet is out of bounds.

There is one caveat with this approach. Make certain that under no circumstances do you bring up the subject of what you can or can't (or will or won't) eat or drink! When going through the buffet line and the person on your right says "Don't you want a stick of butter with your bread," don't respond with "No, I don't eat bread or butter," or "No, I can't have butter on my diet." Just smile and say no thanks and leave it at that.

Unfortunately, I've known too many dieters who radiate an aura of "I'm different" or "I'm special," when they think they're blending in with a group. They're not. Let's face it, it may seem very diet-savvy to arrive at your family reunion with your own personal cooler packed full of special foods that you can enjoy, but it DOES make you stick out like a sore thumb. Ditto when you bring your own stash of healthy munchies to a party where you know the standard fare is typically junk. Nothing screams 'I'm different" louder than bringing your own food stash to a party. If you have to attend a junk-food fest then eat just before you arrive and pass on the crap, don't retaliate by toting your own grub.

When you ARE required to bring a dish to pass and you make a healthy dish or substitution expect comments and learn to deflect them swiftly and gracefully or you're going to be in for a lifetime of frustration and alienation.

Friend: "I suppose that 7-layer dip is all low-fat ingredients, right?"

You: (Big, huge, genuine, confidant smile) "It sure is, and you'd never guess in a million years! Better try it while there's still some left!" (Turn and walk away)

Trust me, eventually you'll find someone who thinks your substitutions are just brilliant and wants to swap recipies and cooking ideas with you. Be patient, it WILL happen.

Also, when group chat turns to diet and/or exercise learn to keep your mouth shut. Just listen quietly and don't add your two cents. As much as that may be your area of expertise, nobody goes to a party to talk about diet and exercise with someone who has made a serious commitment and is making good progress. Honest. Basically, most women just want to commiserate about how much they hate to diet and exercise, they don't want to know anything about how to make it work. Those who really do want to know what works will seek you out for a real discussion about the subject.

Last, (But not least) you can always make arrangements to arrive at food events AFTER the eating is over. It's not a faux pas to inform your host that you're sorry you can't attend the buffet, but you can make it for coffee. Of course, you'll probably want to pass on the dessert, but you can always smile and say you just came from a previous engagement where you had dessert. End of discussion.

It's a sad fact that our society is willing to accommodate people with health, religious or conscientious dietary requirements, (diabetes, food-allergies, vegetarianism, etc.) but we don't do the same for people who simply want to make healthy food choices. That said, I think pointing a finger at people who comment about (or criticize) dietary or lifestyle dedication is a from of arrogance. When we call other people weak or undisciplined we're really saying we're superior, and that's an ugly place to go. Learn to be confidant in who YOU are and you'll find you don't have to categorize other people by what they eat or how they look.

Lizzee

07-21-2003, 06:35 PM

That's really good advice, guys. I always avoid the subject, but if it ever comes up, I'll kill them with kindness, they'll probably think I'm possessed (I tend to be a bit feisty, but I AM working on it).

Just yesterday I went to my friends' to house, she took a Chinese cooking class and prepared us a really nice meal. I took that opportunity to tell them how I felt, they didn't know, but said if they could rag on me for just 10 more minutes they'd promise to never do it again, jerks! :) After that was settled, I sampled a little bit of everything and that was that.....step in the right direction, I thought anyway.

I never meant to convey any arrogance. I have never thought my friends weak or undisciplined individuals based on what they eat or their appearance, in fact, a lot of them are skinnier than I am and eat whatever they want...I'm the one who has to work because I wasn't blessed with a fast metabolism.

I meant what I said, my friends do eat like crap, they'll admit it....I don't feel they're beneath me because of it though.

One of my friends makes excellent grades and tells me I'm lazy because I don't study and she's absolutely right, I'll admit it. (working on that too!)

I don't mind pointing the finger at myself, in fact, I try to do it regularly because I get outta control; I think of it as a type of Spring cleaning because as much as I'd like to think I'm perfect...I know I'm far from it.

This would be typical me:

Friend: "Great, is that low-fat dip?" (Scarcasm and rolls her eyes)

Me: (Half my lip raised and an I'm-gonna-kick-your-butt-look) "Oh bite me!" (give the finger and walk away) :)

But seriously, I will take your advice. I think it's very sensible, thank you, Gottmuscle.

Chameleon

07-22-2003, 09:55 AM

I recently decided to train for a figure contest and had to drastically change my diet... I was already eating 5 - 6 times a week so that didn't change, but I had to cut out all dairy (butter, milk, yougurt, etc.), wheat & sugar (including natural sugars from fruit)... this has been VERY dificult for me... especially the first few weeks as I am a bit of a sugaraholic.. I LOVE sugar... in just about any form.

when I decided to start training for this contest I mentioned it to a few of my friends at the office... just so a few people knew why I wasn't eating the deserts they bring in now & then & such... they are my friends and I didn't want them to think I was sligting them... everything was fine for most of that first week but then we had a training meeting that went through our typical lunch time (noon)... now because I eat so many times a day my meals never fall during lunch but sometime before and then sometime after the regular lunch hour... near the end of our training they bring in this tray of petit'fors (damnit)... I ignore them... except for a glance now & then because I can just imagine how good they were... but 4 or 5 of my 'friends' in the office are all trying to get my attention and making louder than normal hmmmmm sounds and making a production of eating these treats :( I couldn't believe how thoughtless they were being... I gave them all really dirty looks and ignored them for the rest of the meeting. After the meeting one of our Area Managers (who didn't know I was dieting) starts trying to force the rest of them on me... saying that he know's I want one and other similar things. I found out later that one of my 'friends' told him and he was trying to see if he could make me 'crack'... I can't believe that people can be so cruel and cold. since then I have made a forced effort to make sure I bring veggies to meetings with me and not EVER bring up what I can or can not eat in front of anyone at the office. What really pisses me off though... one of the guys making fun of me at that meeting is a body builder who (usually) really watches his diet too.

It's just not right. and unlike the post above.. I don't think it's so wrong to carry some food with me... if where we are going does not or will not have healthy food I am going to bring my own. I don't see it as flaunting anything... I'm just prepared. I only mention my diet if someone asks me pointed questions. I don't mind answering them at all, I do mind people trying to make me 'crack' as they put it.

sillygirl

07-22-2003, 10:20 AM

Gottmuscle, I'm almost tempted to print your post out. GREAT words of wisdom. :)

Isn't it funny how it's almost human nature to try to "bribe" someone out of a diet? I watch people doing it all the time. I even catch myself doing it. We're so caught up in having everybody act the same as us, as soon as someone veers off the path we freak out.

It doesn't help that soooo many people like to nurture with food. Big, greasy, home made cookin'. Bleh.

Gottmuscle

07-22-2003, 12:13 PM

I can relate. The majority of my immediate family is morbidly obese. I have to gather with them every year and I've spent lots of hours agonizing over how I'm going to pick my path and stay on it without lots of unnecessary negativity from my siblings and parents. Everything I eat is "weird" or "healthy" (Read as: boring) Its been 20+ plus years and I still get asked why I HAVE to go for a jog when I'm supposed to be "relaxing." I've tried everything from bringing my own food stash to volunteering to cook, but no plan was 100% foolproof; I still got what felt an awful lot like harassment and sabotage.

My solution? I prepare to relax my guidelines a little when I'm with them. After all, it's not forever. That usually means some extra-clean eating and attention to working out in the weeks prior to our vacation so I can let my diet and exercise slide a little without feeling like a total traitor. When I'm with them I indulge, but I keep portions small and healthy snacks nearby. I might eat a few handfuls of M&M, but then switch to fruit. I'll jog, but I won't make an announcement or draw any attention to the fact. ("I'll be back in a bit .... I'm going RUNNING!" has been replaced with just "I'll be back shortly.")

When worst comes to worst, a little white lie every now and then won't kill you. At this point, my family thinks I'm allergic or 'sensitive' to a whole host of foods like red wine, pizza, cream sauce, and white bread. (Just kidding about the bread, but you get my gist?) If we eat out, I always order the best options available. Yes, they still make comments, but I tell them I just LOVE white fish (or chicken) and offer them a taste. That usually works. If we're eating in I try to volunteer to man the grill or grocery shop ... what ever gives me the most freedom to select and cook things to my liking. It doesn't always work, but like I said, it's not forever. I figure I can relax my guidelines 1-2 meals a day for about 2 weeks before it starts to show on my waist and by then I'm on my way home!

For me, the worst thing is the inactivity. Morbidly obese people don't MOVE. It drives me insane. I've learned to work with it, but it's hard not to feel like I'm spinning my wheels in wet cement every time I'm with my family. Since I'm an early riser I usually manage to steal a 4 mile walk or jog before anyone even gets out of bed. That helps.

Chameleon,

I'm sorry .... grow a backbone and get a sense of humor. Are people thoughtless? Sure, some are. But your contest is YOUR gig, not theirs. Learn to tune out the garbage because the garbage will always be there. If you're going to pack food with you and eat it at times when no one else is eating then expect to become a spectacle. In fact, I think it's rude to eat in front of coworkers or when coworkers eat in front of me in a workplace. (And if you don't eat in front of others then why should you be excused for extra breaks (to eat) when I don't get the same courtesy? If you get four meal breaks then everyone should.)

You want to do a contest? Well, if you can't take the heat stay out of the kitchen. That or you'd better make up a T-shirt that says "pity me" on one side and "be nice to me, I'm dieting" on the other ... and start wearing it.

Yes, dieting for a contest is tough; if it wasn't everyone would do it. Don't expect the whole world to accommodate your personal goals and agenda.

Gottmuscle

07-22-2003, 12:35 PM

I've learned through years of trial, error and observation. I think a lot of the recent comments directed at you are based on the other person's guilt, envy, misunderstanding of your motives and jealousy. But that's not your problem, it's theirs. Short of becoming a shrink, you can't fix their inner issues. What you can do is work on changing how you respond to their words and/or reactions to your lifestyle choices. You can point out the obvious; that your lifestyle and dietary choices are none of their damn business, or you can simply learn to be happy with who you are and let their comments roll off your shoulders. I've done both, and I have to say the second option makes me feel a lot less angry and alienated toward people than the first. Life's too short to be bothered by something as trivial as what your friends think about how often you exercise or what you eat.

Hang in there ... change is never easy!

leolady

07-22-2003, 06:09 PM

I think this is a universal problem, I am always getting the comments about not drinking, or I am too skinny so I must be anorexic, when in fact I weigh as much as the person saying it and I eat 6 times a day. I feel your frustration as I would never tell someone they were an unhealthly lard ass, as that is their choice. I have just come to realize that they are just insecure or jealous of the fact that they do not have the discipline to make the changes in themselves.

It is funny, I used to get alot of comments at work from people, then they saw the results, now, 5 of them are on weight watchers (mostly because it is easier for them to do than the actual planning and work of doing it yourself) because they too want to lose weight.

Just take pride in knowing you are taking care of yourself and that is what really matters.

Lizzee

07-22-2003, 08:57 PM

Yeah, since we've all obviously been through it at some point or another with the people we come in contact with day to day, I guess we're just going to have to use a little tact and learn to let these comments just bounce off (I'll have to physically cover my mouth with duct tape on this one!!) :)

I did notice something at a family get together for July 4th:

So my family was going to barbecue and my mother called me to warn me that my aunt was making meat that I'd think was too greasy (that's a mom for you!), so when I got there I brought my own stash, I had been craving Mahi Mahi for a couple of days and so I took it.

When they asked what I brought I said, "I've been craving Mahi Mahi for 3 days now and now I can finally have it." I don't know if it's because I made mention to the fact that I was satifying a craving or what, but I didn't hear a peep out of anyone, my cousin asked me for a bite and I didn't hear anything else about it....that was a cool feeling!!!!! :P

Chameleon

07-23-2003, 09:45 AM

Originally posted by Gottmuscle

Chameleon,

I'm sorry .... grow a backbone and get a sense of humor. Are people thoughtless? Sure, some are. But your contest is YOUR gig, not theirs. Learn to tune out the garbage because the garbage will always be there. If you're going to pack food with you and eat it at times when no one else is eating then expect to become a spectacle. In fact, I think it's rude to eat in front of coworkers or when coworkers eat in front of me in a workplace. (And if you don't eat in front of others then why should you be excused for extra breaks (to eat) when I don't get the same courtesy? If you get four meal breaks then everyone should.)

You want to do a contest? Well, if you can't take the heat stay out of the kitchen. That or you'd better make up a T-shirt that says "pity me" on one side and "be nice to me, I'm dieting" on the other ... and start wearing it.

Yes, dieting for a contest is tough; if it wasn't everyone would do it. Don't expect the whole world to accommodate your personal goals and agenda.

GottMuscle... I don’t' know how someone could have so completely misinterpreted my post like that...

1) I do NOT take breaks to eat and never said I did. I work while I eat. It takes me less time to heat my food up and take it back to my desk than the smokers in my office take to go downstairs and have one of their cancer sticks.

2) I eat in my office NOT in front of others... I never said I did that either.

3) My point was... that people in my office were going out of their way to make fun of the fact that I could not eat the treats at our meeting and I thought that was insensitive, and it was. I also pointed out that I remedied that situation by starting to bring my own healthy snacks to meetings (veggies).

4) I never said it was easy or that everyone should automatically understand. I just think that people should be a little more sensitive to other people’s feelings.

5) and I NEVER said I wanted to be pitied... please learn to comprehend what you are reading. Common courtesy is not pity... nor should it ever be considered that.

Gottmuscle

07-23-2003, 10:55 AM

I work while I eat.

In today's world you can put your make-up on while driving a car, (illegal, BTW) talk on your cell phone just about anywhere, and multitask in an assortment of ways. This doesn't always make it right or "fair" to the people around you. If your eating habits make you a target of ridicule then obviously your dietary habits are not as private as you think they are. Why didn't you just take a walk during lunch at the training session if you knew you didn't want to be tempted and you didn't want to be harassed? Why stick around? IMO, first you asked for problems, then you cried "wolf" when they occurred, and now you want us to place the blame on them? Sorry, I'm not buying it. If YOU'RE the person who's bugged then YOU need to fix the situation or YOUR reaction. Don't expect others to share YOUR values.

people in my office were going out of their way to make fun of the fact that I could not eat the treats at our meeting and I thought that was insensitive, and it was.

No, you're overly hormonal about your plight and you think the people around you should be too. News flash: Nobody cares. Not really. Your diet struggles are your problem, not theirs. And FWIW I can see the humor in someone choosing to diet to extremes, then expecting everyone around them to be 100% supportive of that choice.

BWAH!

With that kind of hypersensitivity someone would have you in tears every day if you trained in my gym.

I never said it was easy or that everyone should automatically understand. I just think that people should be a little more sensitive to other people’s feelings.

Why should people be so sensitive to a hobby that you chose to pursue in your free time, and dietary restrictions you chose to impose of your own free will? Just because you're interested in living a life of depravity doesn't mean others care or are going to tippy toe around you or support you. Get over yourself.

Common courtesy is not pity... nor should it ever be considered that.

Common courtesy isn't usually extended to people who, (based on their perception of themselves or their situation) pretend they're so unique that they're entitled to special treatment. Most people start to resent that kind of arrogance and respond to it accordingly ... as you quickly found out. If you think you work with such boorish people then you can do any one of three things:

1. Quit your job.

2. Keep your personal life out of the workplace.

3. Grow thick skin.

leolady

07-23-2003, 11:28 AM

ignore this persons comments the way they are telling you to ignore other peoples...I believe the original post was referring to unsolicited comments, and just because 99.9% of the population choose to live unhealthy lifestyles does not mean that we should have to stay out of their way so that we do not have to listen to their rude comments on our lifestyle. Just as I do not comment on their lifestyle choices I do not expect them to negatively criticize mine, and that is just common courtesy....something we should all practice a litle more

sillygirl

07-23-2003, 12:00 PM

Chill out, you guys! I can definitely see both sides of the issue. On one hand, we're such a culture of "sheep". As soon as one person veers off course, people feel threatened. It's funny that people are so quick to degrade others who are trying to lead a healthy lifestyle. Just a bit amusing. :)

But I also see the other side of this. We can't change how other people act, only how we react. If we react in a way that confuses them a bit or makes THEM feel silly [instead of getting snippity at them], they'll leave us alone. ;)

Chameleon

07-23-2003, 12:29 PM

it sounds like you have TOO much muscle... it's pushing your braines out of your head...

it IS insensitive to make fun of people... in ANY situation... at ANY time... whether you like to hear it or not. (and yes I realize that I was being insensitive above)

I never said I was unique or deserved special treatment... I wouldn't make fun of someone in a similar situation (sounds like you might though) and I don't think it's unfair for me to expect others to act with some respect... especially at work.

I want to see YOU leave a meeting being held by the President of the company YOU work for.

YOU couldn't make me cry if you wanted to... honestly... you need to get a grip on reality

sorry that you couldn't see my point... I'll make sure to not try to explain anything to you in the future.

Chameleon

07-23-2003, 12:32 PM

Originally posted by sillygirl
Chill out, you guys! I can definitely see both sides of the issue. On one hand, we're such a culture of "sheep". As soon as one person veers off course, people feel threatened. It's funny that people are so quick to degrade others who are trying to lead a healthy lifestyle. Just a bit amusing. :)

But I also see the other side of this. We can't change how other people act, only how we react. If we react in a way that confuses them a bit or makes THEM feel silly [instead of getting snippity at them], they'll leave us alone. ;)

I agree with everything you just said sillygirl... and I pretty much just ignored the people who were trying to get to me in that meeting and they eventually stopped doing it. They haven't done it since then either... I think I took the fun out of it when I didn't react in front of them. ;-)

Gottmuscle

07-23-2003, 01:32 PM

it sounds like you have TOO much muscle... it's pushing your braines out of your head...

My, my! You're kind of nasty for such a sensitive gal. What happened to common courtesy, or do you only want to receive it, not give it?

it IS insensitive to make fun of people... in ANY situation... at ANY time... whether you like to hear it or not. (and yes I realize that I was being insensitive above)

If you want to go through life projecting all your wants, needs, expectations and ideals on everyone then be prepared to get your feelings hurt when someone comes along who doesn't want march to your beat. Cie la vie.

I wouldn't make fun of someone in a similar situation

Bully for you. Now why do you expect everyone to act, think and be just like you? And why are you so quick to judge them when they're not?

(sounds like you might though)

Projecting and judging again? FWIW, you're wrong.

and I don't think it's unfair for me to expect others to act with some respect... especially at work.

Life is not always "fair," and work is no different from anyplace else; it contains a mixture of people from different backgrounds, with different values, different experiences, and different expectations...or do you expect everyone to act and think just like YOU? Wouldn't that make the world a boring place to live...

I want to see YOU leave a meeting being held by the President of the company YOU work for.

Been there, done that. Why do you think I suggested it? I made arrangements ahead of time. And no, it wasn't any of their business why I left. You're paid to do a job, not eat with them or share your personal life with anyone, including your boss. If your boss is so hardhearted that they won't let you do your own thing during your lunch break then refer to #1 (above) or look into your state labor laws. (I've had to do that on occasion, too.)

I'll make sure to not try to explain anything to you in the future.

Well hey, that sure simplifies things for me. ;)

spn

07-23-2003, 02:20 PM

This sure was blown waaaay out of proportion, everyone is entitled to the way they feel without being harped on or ridiculed, hey females are allowed to be sensitive, keeps our relationships with men in balance!

Chameleon

07-23-2003, 02:28 PM

Originally posted by spn
This sure was blown waaaay out of proportion, everyone is entitled to the way they feel without being harped on or ridiculed, hey females are allowed to be sensitive, keeps our relationships with men in balance!

LOL ;-)

what I find really funny is that non of the things gottmuscle said were in my original post... sounds more like she's projecting her own feelings/experiences/frustrations onto me *shrug* whatever

this thread was started to bitch about unfair reactions to dieting & working out... I posted my one little bad experience and she jumped down my throat... why she chose to do that to me?... who knows... who cares... no skin off my back... I just think it's funny that she kept replying over & over & over... sometimes it's fun to push peoples buttons... it made my work day go by a bit faster ;-)

Gottmuscle

07-23-2003, 06:43 PM

So now I'm a woman? Gee, you sure know how to insult a person....

sometimes it's fun to push peoples buttons

Well, and maybe now we know the truth? What goes around, comes around. Maybe you get picked on (at work) because you get back what you give?

Watch it, your true colors are showing, honey. ;)

Ga ahead, have the last word. (Again) I dare ya.

Lizzee

07-23-2003, 08:15 PM

So when I started this post I was venting because I was given a hard time and I was pissed off, but after all this I think we should all sing a little round of Kumbaya together or something.

Gottmuscle, a lot of times us gals vent....not in search for the perfect solution, although you gave me good advice, but just to bitch....plain and simple. I've been known to vent to my girlfriends, my Pomerinian, a journal, brick wall, etc. After this "venting" is finished, so is the "issue" of which I was venting about, it's over and that's that.

So if you are the "big smiling bumper car" you say you are, then stop antagonizing the harmless venting session going on here....can't we all just get along?

And another thing, being confused with a woman isn't a bad thing, if anything, sounds to me like she's trying to kiss and make up with you with that comment. :)

Lady_Builder

07-23-2003, 11:14 PM

gottmuscle,

You need to grow up and learn the difference in crying for help and getting **** off your chest. Plus, you need to lay off Chameleon. All she wanted to do was vent. You did have some good advice but you canceled that out when you turned into the boorish ass you were being.

Too all the girls,

Just remember, the jerks out there making fun of your eating habits just don't know any better 'cause they can't do any better themselves.

Lady_Builder

Chameleon

07-24-2003, 08:25 AM

Originally posted by Gottmuscle
So now I'm a woman? Gee, you sure know how to insult a person....

Well, and maybe now we know the truth? What goes around, comes around. Maybe you get picked on (at work) because you get back what you give?

Watch it, your true colors are showing, honey. ;)

Ga ahead, have the last word. (Again) I dare ya.

giggle

that's funny... you started all this... not me ;-)

oh and I just didn't bother checking your profile and assumed you were a woman.. since this IS the female section of the board... silly me.

have a super de duper day now ;-)~

Chameleon

07-24-2003, 08:27 AM

Originally posted by Lady_Builder
gottmuscle,

You need to grow up and learn the difference in crying for help and getting **** off your chest. Plus, you need to lay off Chameleon. All she wanted to do was vent. You did have some good advice but you canceled that out when you turned into the boorish ass you were being.

Too all the girls,

Just remember, the jerks out there making fun of your eating habits just don't know any better 'cause they can't do any better themselves.

Lady_Builder

Thanks Lady_Builder... at least you (and others here) understand ;-)

spn

07-24-2003, 08:33 AM

Gottmuscle I might question your manhood for lurking on the female board.......I wonder if you are one of those "men" at the gym in those one piece skintight "man"leotards designed to show off chest hair and your so called "package".....

leolady

07-24-2003, 09:32 AM

So now I'm a woman? Gee, you sure know how to insult a person....

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
sometimes it's fun to push peoples buttons
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

gottmuscle, if you have so much disdain for women why are you cruising the womens boards...go back to the predominately male sections of this board and you will not have to bother with us silly overly sensitive women.

Gottmuscle

07-24-2003, 11:10 AM

gottmuscle, if you have so much disdain for women why are you cruising the womens boards...go back to the predominately male sections of this board and you will not have to bother with us silly overly sensitive women.

Did I say I have distrain for women? Nope. Am I cruising? Um, I'm happily married, thanks. Is there a rule against men posting here or women posting elsewhere? Not that I can see. Am I bothered that Chameleon is silly and overly sensitive? Not at all, though it seems to bother her a lot.

Gottmuscle I might question your manhood for lurking on the female board.......I wonder if you are one of those "men" at the gym in those one piece skintight "man"leotards designed to show off chest hair and your so called "package

Did I threaten your sexuality by being here? You don't threaten mine. I'm thoroughly heterosexual, happily married and don't have any hidden cross-dresssing or transsexual tendencies or fantasies. Quite frankly, my *package* and chest hair are none of your damn business and if you were a lady you wouldn't be wondering anything about them on a public message board. (If I did the same and hinted that I wonder if your gym clothes accent your breasts and butt I would be labeled a pig.) Oh, and FWIW, I own my own training facility and it's open by appointment only, so I don't have to train in front of others.

Just remember, the jerks out there making fun of your eating habits just don't know any better 'cause they can't do any better themselves.

Oh, that's such a lovely attitude toward your fellow human beings. Certainly doesn't sound much like extending common courtesy to me. But hey, go figure.

stop antagonizing the harmless venting session going on here

Ah, I get it now! Thanks Lizzee for finally clueing me in. ;) I didn't realize it's so common for you girls to post a question asking for help and then turn the thread into a mindless bitching and venting session about other people. I get it now; Chameleon doesn't WANT to solve her issues, she just wants to BITCH about them! Yeah, that's helpful and harmless ....

Gotcha. Weird, but I gotcha.

leolady

07-24-2003, 11:22 AM

chameleon, since it appears that gottmuscle has a need to get the last word in and make sure that we all know his thinking is the "right" way to think and since you do not want to take his advice on how to solve your problems you are just whining and bitching..... maybe we should just end this thread now with the understanding that we hear you and support you and leave it at that. I am confident you have probably had enough input into this issue to move forward.

Chameleon

07-24-2003, 11:27 AM

Originally posted by Gottmuscle
gottmuscle, if you have so much disdain for women why are you cruising the womens boards...go back to the predominately male sections of this board and you will not have to bother with us silly overly sensitive women.

Did I say I have distrain for women? Nope. Am I cruising? Um, I'm happily married, thanks. Is there a rule against men posting here or women posting elsewhere? Not that I can see. Am I bothered that Chameleon is silly and overly sensitive? Not at all, though it seems to bother her a lot.

Gottmuscle I might question your manhood for lurking on the female board.......I wonder if you are one of those "men" at the gym in those one piece skintight "man"leotards designed to show off chest hair and your so called "package

Did I threaten your sexuality by being here? You don't threaten mine. I'm thoroughly heterosexual, happily married and don't have any hidden cross-dresssing or transsexual tendencies or fantasies. Quite frankly, my *package* and chest hair are none of your damn business and if you were a lady you wouldn't be wondering anything about them on a public message board. (If I did the same and hinted that I wonder if your gym clothes accent your breasts and butt I would be labeled a pig.) Oh, and FWIW, I own my own training facility and it's open by appointment only, so I don't have to train in front of others.

Just remember, the jerks out there making fun of your eating habits just don't know any better 'cause they can't do any better themselves.

Oh, that's such a lovely attitude toward your fellow human beings. Certainly doesn't sound much like extending common courtesy to me. But hey, go figure.

stop antagonizing the harmless venting session going on here

Ah, I get it now! Thanks Lizzee for finally clueing me in. ;) I didn't realize it's so common for you girls to post a question asking for help and then turn the thread into a mindless bitching and venting session about other people. I get it now; Chameleon doesn't WANT to solve her issues, she just wants to BITCH about them! Yeah, that's helpful and harmless ....

Gotcha. Weird, but I gotcha.

boy you ARE a pompas a** aren't you.

The only question posed in this thread was if anyone else (to be read... other FEMALES) had experienced a similar situation... I told about my similar situation... you decided that it was your 'duty' (probably because your a man) to inform all of us (me especially) what YOU think the problem is... well... I'll have you know that I don't now, nor will I ever, need YOUR (to be read... Gottmuscle) advice... nor did I ask for it. And to address the issue of this section of the board... the rest of the message board does not specify men or women... however THIS section of the board is reserved for "FEMALE BODYBUILDING" as stated in the title for this section of the board... I hope I typed that slow enough for you to understand. If you are not female you probably just don't understand that women like to vent now and then... we are not asking for you input when we vent... we are just venting. I hope this helps you to understand. I'm waiting with baited breath for your response to this post... I would love to hear what drivel you spew forth next... mr. ImsoimportantbecauseIownmyowntrainingfacility

leolady

07-24-2003, 11:37 AM

well said chameleon

Gottmuscle

07-24-2003, 11:47 AM

It's not a matter of being right, it's a matter of having learned from years of trial and error what works. None of the women I've trained have ever gained a darn thing by bitching and moaning about their obstacles. In fact, over the years I've noted that bitching always tends to make them feel powerless and worse. Negativity has that effect; whether the negative feelings are directed at yourself or someone else, they always come back and bite you in the butt. Conversely, nothing empowers a woman more than taking control of the things that irk (or inhibit) her progress, and working toward resolution and a better outcome.

Now you can all pretend I'm here to alienate you, or you can read some of the things I've shared and try to learn something. Call me blunt or call me a bastard, but the truth is: "It's better to know nothing than to know what ain't so."

Bitching doesn't change things or make you feel good about
suff. "It ain't so ..."

Chameleon
In case you haven't learned, neither muscle or fat have gender. It's pretty silly to try to make a case for gender inclusion or exclusion based on giving or getting training and dieting advice.

I don't think I'm special. I think I have a lot more experience doing what I do than you'll ever have. I'm not trying to sound arrogant, just honest. Training people isn't a special, wonderful job, it's just A job. One of many. Maybe you're jealous? Don't be.

Your attitude is certainly hostile. I'm not sure why? Lemme guess ... a touch of PMS?

Chameleon

07-24-2003, 01:00 PM

Originally posted by leolady
chameleon, since it appears that gottmuscle has a need to get the last word in and make sure that we all know his thinking is the "right" way to think and since you do not want to take his advice on how to solve your problems you are just whining and bitching..... maybe we should just end this thread now with the understanding that we hear you and support you and leave it at that. I am confident you have probably had enough input into this issue to move forward.

yep... he sure seems like a Last Word Warrior to me... and he proved it just a minute ago... LOL.. I'm sure he'll have something to say about this post too... like I really care ;-)

spn

07-24-2003, 01:10 PM

your wife,you sound like an absolute jerk to live with, I have a wonderful husband who would never talk the way you do to anyone. BTW I am a personal trainer and I allow my female and male clieents to vent and it doesn't seem to have hurt their progress one bit.

Obviously your business can't be going that well if you have time to KEEP posting on the FEMALE board.

Everyone is entitled to vent, please don't tell me you never have, oh I'm sure quite often because no one can be quite as perfect as you.

Gottmuscle

07-24-2003, 02:12 PM

Obviously your business can't be going that well if you have time to KEEP posting on the FEMALE board.

Obviously? Come on. Even Ferris Bueller got a day off! Let's not jump to conclusions or make rude assumptions about my job.

And no, I've never vented. Why would I? It solves nothing and besides, nobody cares about your misery but you ... why dump your garbage on others? Because you CAN? Sorry, learn restraint.

sure seems like a Last Word Warrior to me... and he proved it just a minute ago

Maybe, but as long as people keep posting I'll reply. After all, I wouldn't want any misunderstanding. And the hits on this thread keep climbing steadily, so obviously it's hit a nerve. Furthermore, only a small few persist in posting nasty, negative remarks. The same few.

Surprise, surprise.

No matter. Sticks and stones... ;)

leolady

07-24-2003, 02:25 PM

I love how he refers to "the small few who post nasty negative remarks"...uh would that also include yourself..lets recap

Chameleon,

I'm sorry .... grow a backbone and get a sense of humor

Ah, I get it now! Thanks Lizzee for finally clueing me in. I didn't realize it's so common for you girls to post a question asking for help and then turn the thread into a mindless bitching and venting session about other people

Originally posted by Gottmuscle
So now I'm a woman? Gee, you sure know how to insult a person....

No, you're overly hormonal about your plight and you think the people around you should be too. News flash: Nobody cares.

Maybe at this point you should practice what you preach..and I quote...

Also, when group chat turns to diet and/or exercise learn to keep your mouth shut. Just listen quietly and don't add your two cents. As much as that may be your area of expertise...and finally ....

(Turn and walk away)

kobe28

07-24-2003, 04:38 PM

hi this is kobe I understand where you are coming from. It's ashame they way society judges female bodybuilders and gives them a hard time about what you eat and how you look. 9 times out of 10 the person doesn't workout. you have my respect your healthy and it's not easy and it takes a lot of discipline to do what you do. keep your head up Peace and good luck

Gottmuscle

07-24-2003, 05:49 PM

So you don't know sarcasm or humor when you read it? Funny, everyone here is dolling out scarcasm like whipped cream at a strawberry social, but oh, don't let a guy get sarcastic. Big sin! I haven't said anything here with anger or hostility. I've said things just like I say them face to face. Maybe someone here is reading between the lines or reading a tone that isn't there? Or I guess that thought never occurred to you?

Yanno, your idea of solidarity and helping each other is pretty comical and juvenile. You're all so busy nit-picking words and phrases that you can't be bothered to see the forest from the trees. If you put your hackles down for a few minutes you might actually learn something for a change.

My advice was situational. Clearly, a message board isn't the same situation. (Duh.) Message boards are for posting. It's kinda hard to convey a message if you don't type your message.

Your nasty attitude is such an incredible turn-off that I can't imagine anyone wanting to go to the trouble of getting their eyes scratched out for trying to help.

Meow.

Lady_Builder

07-24-2003, 08:18 PM

Gottmuscle,

You really are a pompus ass. You're arrogant, over bearing, pig headed, and just plain an ******* to boot. Venting does serve a purpose, it allows people to release unneeded pressure to keep themselves from having a nervous f*****g breakdown!!!!! I've spent enough time working as a crisis counselor to know, people need vent sessions or they'll lose their damned minds.

And I was just being blunt about the people out there who find it amusing to degrade a person's attempt at being healthy. Yes, I was a little on the cruel side about it, but then again, I was brought up not to mince words just to come out and say it.

Ladies,

Keep up the good work and just ignore people like those who are harrassing you about the way you are going about it or the way you deal with the stress caused by those people (i.e. Gottmuscle).

Lady_Builder

imperfectly_lou

07-24-2003, 10:48 PM

I just wanted to add my two cents...

I think in certain situations, venting about things can be really helpful. A lot of us are alone in our training, meaning we don't really have many friends or family with similar interests and understanding, so it can help to get things off our chest and share our stories.

If anyone has a problem with us gals venting (which does NOT have to be PMS related), stay off the female board!

cdmuscle

07-25-2003, 07:29 AM

Bump

Chameleon

07-25-2003, 08:32 AM

Thanks everybody (with one OBVIOUS exclusion)

Kobe28, Lady_Builder, imperfectly_lou, cdmuscle, leolady, spn & Lizee... if I could, I'd give you all a GREAT BIG HUG ;-)~

us girls need to stick together... I hope you all have a great weekend and keep up the great work, staying healthy in and out of the gym ;-)~

Lady_Builder

07-28-2003, 05:34 PM

Chameleon,

It's no problem. I love grabbing guys like gottmuscle by the balls. I get it a little bit at my gym too. Guys always asking if I need help loading or unloading a bar or the leg press sled. Just ignore them.

And remember, ladies, what they say about you means nothing as long as you love yourselves!!!!

Lady_Builder

polinatorxxx

08-03-2003, 10:56 AM

I am from Georgia and you can imaging the constant ribbing I receive for not eating fried foods or desserts. I am at 10% after starting bodybuilding last year. Your body can be a great motivator. I have learned to block out those individuals that are constantly concerned with my habits. My co-workers and people in my work atmosphere are always looking and commenting on my diet. I take this stance, "My life must be pretty interesting if they're more concerned with mine instead of their own". I think there are those individuals that must feel the need to intrude in other peoples' affairs. Keep eating healthy! Talk is idle. Just remember people are always worried about the going-ons in other houses than their own. If the roles were reversed, I am sure they wouldn't like it.

Gottmuscle

08-08-2003, 03:12 PM

It's no problem. I love grabbing guys like gottmuscle by the balls.

Interesting remark. If a man grabs a woman by the tits it's sexual harassment, but you find ball-grabbing amusing? Sorry, you'll have to do better than hold a communal bitch fest to get to me. Men are well aware that most women like to piss and moan or blame others for the things they're too lazy to fix (or reslove) themselves. Judging by this unanimous show of support your sentiments have plenty of company. Women like to rally around one another. Doesn't matter what the cause, they back each other blindly. Kinda like lemmings.

Hope you can swim!

leolady

08-08-2003, 03:26 PM

...and just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water.

Have a good weekend ladies !!

Quinn

08-11-2003, 07:54 AM

This has happened to me too.

I'd tell them a story that involved something funny/scary/weird happening on the train on my way to the gym and they'd disregard the rest of the story and go, "oh my god, you go to the gym"

ME: "Yes. So anyway...."

THEM: "I couldn't be bothered going to the gym. I quite like sitting on my lounge and watching tv."

ME: "Uh huh."

Another scenario, I’d whip out my lunch box at recess (I sound like a kid saying this but yes, I was 17 and still had a lunch box. Hey it was convenient! hehe) and it would be full of fruit, low fat yogurt etc and they'd be like.

THEM: "You eat too healthily!"

ME: "I didn't know there was such a thing as too healthy!"

THEM: "I love my food too much to go on a diet."

ME: "I'm not eating just celery sticks you know, I do eat food and yes I like it. It's called nutrition."

I used to get a sharp tongue and defensive when they'd hop onto that subject. But everyone made a big deal out of it and was determined to tell me why they weren't on a "diet" and that they loved food too much to go on one. Now I love food but I just love different types of food to them. Just because I'm not scoffing down potato chips doesn't mean I don't eat or that I despise food.

And when people find out I eat healthy that whenever I treat myself they overreact and go, "Oh my god you should not be eating that?!" - excuse me but I'm not the one with the rolls. Or they mock me as to say, "wow she's human she's eating "normal" food". Or my friends who were naturally skinny would be like, "Thank god I don't need to do that stuff". That really annoys me.

Or because I am still a teenage they take eating healthy to mean “diet” and then take “diet” to mean I have an eating disorder and need help. Stereotypical. Can’t I care about how I look, what I eat and want to be healthy without having to worry that people will presume I have an eating disorder.

Sigh - people really suck sometimes.

cdmuscle

08-11-2003, 09:30 AM

I don't find verbal assault on your part "gottnuthin" as anything more than the basic knuckle-dragging neanderthal response to any woman who stands up for their personal views and has the strength to do something you feel threatened by.

Women bashing is typical for someone like you so I'm not too surprised to see your comments on a women's forum. At least we know we're better than that. I don't categorize men since I know for a fact that most wouldn't demean themselves the way you do with such archaic uneducated comments.

Lady_Builder

08-11-2003, 03:55 PM

I wasn't trying to harass. "Grabbing someone by the balls" is just a figure of speech. And yes, gottmuscle is just demeaning himself with his foolish comments. Women are not bitching and moaning or blaming others. We're just getting our frustrations off our chests.

Remember, ladies, love yourselves and others will follow!!!!

imperfectly_lou

08-11-2003, 08:49 PM

Anyone else tired of all the men coming onto this forum with these kinds of comments or self-promotion "read my article, read my article!" driving me insane!

ScorpioSting

08-31-2003, 10:29 AM

Originally posted by leolady
I think this is a universal problem, I am always getting the comments about not drinking, or I am too skinny so I must be anorexic.Just take pride in knowing you are taking care of yourself and that is what really matters.

I get this ALL the time. I barely have friends because I don't "Party" every weekend, and don't do drugs (not even ones related to bb'ing)

I am EXTREMELY petite, having small bones, and I am an ectomorph..which really does suck, but to make matters worse, as soon as someone hears I go to the gym, or that I don't eat junk food...OMG!!! "you don't need that, you are already too skinny!" and the looks I get when I walk into the gym, (only time I have the time to notice anyone looking..lol) sometimes I wonder if they think I am trying to get SKINNIER, not that it matters if they are thinking that or not, but it is annoying. People think I should be on an all junk food diet to gain weight...well, weight I want...fat I do not. I am one of thoes pear shaped weight gainers. If I can gain at all, it is from the waist to the kneecaps! My mom said in the past that she thought weight lifting women were too unacceptable in her eyes..too big or manly looking I suppose. Well she saw me over the internet via webcam the other day, and couldn't stop telling me how wonderful I looked. Then I told her I am hardcore weightlifting, and I eat 6 times a day...and she shut up! lol But she hasn't made a comment on bodybuilding since.

I got alot of eye rolls from girls at work when I first started working out because of my size already...I was excited because I was looking forward to my transition. I shared with a few of them, and well, either no comments or the usual ones "you don't need to .." One woman keeps telling me to slow down because she thinks I am working too hard. I walk up and down a production belt all day, so after doing legs, my walk looks funny..lol I found it is one subject I can't share with many because they think I am rubbing their noses in how little I am, but that is not the case. Some other women from work are even signed up at the same gym, and I have yet to see them there at all.

I just keep it to myself now, or come here to this site to chat about it with ppl who can understand and help, or share things about it. This site has helped alot!!! You definately are not alone, but that is why we come here:)

Hang in there and keep up the good work! It's your body, and your choice.
ScorpioSting