Is Sexy a State of Mind?

[gwnorth]

Or alternatively titled "I Still Feel Fat".

We've been having a heat wave here in SW Ontario the past two weeks. Serious summer temperatures, which fortunately seem to have passed and we are back to Spring. With temps suddenly shooting up to the mid 20's (Celcius), I had no bottoms to wear. I had 1 pair of lightweight capris that I bought last spring, which are now at least 2 sizes too big. Yeah me right? So I had to go shopping. What a depressing experience. I hated almost everything I tried on. I'm really hating these 60's inspired Twiggy fashions. I love the look, just not on me. Peg leg cropped pants and peasant blouses don't do anything for me: 1) I'm short 2) I'm curvy 3) I'm short waisted. I left the mall feeling seriously depressed. Here I am a size 6/4 depending on the brand, and I still feel fat. The only thing I bought was new underwear because my bra size has changed quite a bit. Dh was all excited when I told him I'd shopped at Victoria's Secret (never have before), but I think he was dissapointed by my choices. Sorry sweetie, but a brown paper bag would look sexy on the VS models. There isn't anything inherently sexy about VS lingerie. It's what's inside it that is the deciding factor and I don't have a thong worthy but.

What I can't understand is why when I look at something "sexy", I think not for me and yet I see women at the gym in the changeroom, with higher bf% than me, and they're wearing thongs and low rise everything. Why can't I see myself as sexy? Elegant or stylish maybe (though more often frumpy), but not sexy. Either they're all delusional (and not to mention 20 years younger than me), or maybe I'm too realistic. I think I need some rose coloured glasses.

So what do you guys think when you see a woman who doesn't have the ideal figure, wearing something sexy? Does it work as long as they think they're sexy?

[latebloomingmom]

alright here goes...have you recently been on a diet? do you have this ideal image in your head of what you want to be and you cannot feel good about yourself til you get there?
Yes you are in your 40's but this does not mean you cannot feel confident about yourself and sexy..
I do understand about the clothes in the stores right now..
FRUMPY is a dirty word in my book and does not belong in any woman's vocabulary when she is describing herself..

[danap3681]

I love the show "What Not To Wear". Many of the women on there do not have the "ideal" figure but if you have ever seen it you will see that just because you are not a size 4 does not mean you are not sexy and cannot find clothing that makes you feel sexy. I am small but I would rather someone beat me to a bloody pulp than go shopping so I feel your pain with that. Age and size does not determine whether a person is sexy or not.

It is how you feel about yourself and your attitude! I feel sexier in my workout clothes than everyday clothes. Every woman is different but EVERY woman has it in her to feel and be sexy. :)

[danap3681]

Or alternatively titled "I Still Feel Fat".

We've been having a heat wave here in SW Ontario the past two weeks. Serious summer temperatures, which fortunately seem to have passed and we are back to Spring. With temps suddenly shooting up to the mid 20's (Celcius), I had no bottoms to wear. I had 1 pair of lightweight capris that I bought last spring, which are now at least 2 sizes too big. Yeah me right? So I had to go shopping. What a depressing experience. I hated almost everything I tried on. I'm really hating these 60's inspired Twiggy fashions. I love the look, just not on me. Peg leg cropped pants and peasant blouses don't do anything for me: 1) I'm short 2) I'm curvy 3) I'm short waisted. I left the mall feeling seriously depressed. Here I am a size 6/4 depending on the brand, and I still feel fat. The only thing I bought was new underwear because my bra size has changed quite a bit. Dh was all excited when I told him I'd shopped at Victoria's Secret (never have before), but I think he was dissapointed by my choices. Sorry sweetie, but a brown paper bag would look sexy on the VS models. There isn't anything inherently sexy about VS lingerie. It's what's inside it that is the deciding factor and I don't have a thong worthy but.

What I can't understand is why when I look at something "sexy", I think not for me and yet I see women at the gym in the changeroom, with higher bf% than me, and they're wearing thongs and low rise everything. Why can't I see myself as sexy? Elegant or stylish maybe (though more often frumpy), but not sexy. Either they're all delusional (and not to mention 20 years younger than me), or maybe I'm too realistic. I think I need some rose coloured glasses.

So what do you guys think when you see a woman who doesn't have the ideal figure, wearing something sexy? Does it work as long as they think they're sexy?

On the VS... I think every girl should have sexy undergarments! It allows us to smile because we know we have them on but no one else knows! (unless you tell them) :)

[latebloomingmom]

On the VS... I think every girl should have sexy undergarments! It allows us to smile because we know we have them on but no one else knows! (unless you tell them) :)
you better believe it sister! aint nothing worse then old faded undies with the elastic shot..or a bra that does not fit because you are no longer the right size..:(

[LisaSkinnoble]

I love the show "What Not To Wear". Many of the women on there do not have the "ideal" figure but if you have ever seen it you will see that just because you are not a size 4 does not mean you are not sexy and cannot find clothing that makes you feel sexy. I am small but I would rather someone beat me to a bloody pulp than go shopping so I feel your pain with that. Age and size does not determine whether a person is sexy or not.

It is how you feel about yourself and your attitude! I feel sexier in my workout clothes than everyday clothes. Every woman is different but EVERY woman has it in her to feel and be sexy. :)

I think you really hit on something here. A lot of it is about the kinds of clothes we wear and getting the right ones for our body types. I love the long maxi dresses out there these days - they're cool in the summer and very feminine. But I am big-chested and have too much body fat to wear the halter styles or spaghetti strap ones. But I saw some nice sleeveless v-neck dresses that I think will be quite suitable.

gwnorth, I can't stand shopping at a mall. Up here in Canada, we have very limited selection, don't you think? If peg leg capri pants are the "in" thing, it seems that's all the stores carry. And, I find the quality of goods available up here is getting worse by the day. Our retailers are under some misconception that Canadians only want "discount" goods. Ugh. At my age, and with my body, I can't get away with cheap stuff. (Don't get me started on suburban shopping malls!) I find I sometimes have to shop online and order from the U.S. to get a better selection and find what I really want. I can so relate to your post. There's nothing worse than wandering around the mall, trying on tons of clothes, and coming out empty-handed and depressed. How come I only find great stuff at great prices when I'm broke? When I have the money to spend and am ready to buy, there's nothing out there! lol...

[DaniGrrl]

On the VS... I think every girl should have sexy undergarments! It allows us to smile because we know we have them on but no one else knows! (unless you tell them) :)

Totally agree! I always have my matching cute/sexy undies on. It does make me feel sexy.

I'm with you on the clothes right now. I like the styles, but they look terrible on me. Despite being extremely small, something about those peasant shirts makes me appear pregnant, most likely a combination of being short waisted, thick waisted for my size and bad posture. So I've had some bad shopping trips myself over the past few months and I love shopping.

To answer your original question, though, I do think sexy is a state of mind 100%. If you're confident and feel good about yourself, it shows and it's very sexy. A friend of mine told me you have to believe your own hype, or no one else will, to be confident is not necessarily being cocky - there's a big difference. I know you have come a very long way and have so much to be proud of. A bad shopping trip brings everyone down. Once you find some things that you look good in and that suit your figure, you will feel so much better...and SEXIER. Don't be shy to go to VS and buy some thongs - I'm sure your husband would love to see you in them :)

[rendylee]

I hear you, my cloths are all to big and hang, but don't want to go out an buy new ones as I don't plan on having them fit for very long, lol. Sexy for me is definitely a state of mind, I am still "fat", but don't feel "fat" (make sense)... I have never felt more confident, feminine, or sexy EVER, LOL!! I agree with the whole lingerie thing as well, I know what I am wearing underneath my clothing, even if they don't...and I love feeling like a girl again ;)

[latebloomingmom]

I think all those smock or peasant type blouses scream maternity but maybe that is just me..
and who is picking the colors right now???
I have been shopping twice in the past two weeks for spring/summer clothes
so far I have bought: a pair of gym pants
a bra and ...socks...not one decent shirt..

[danap3681]

I think you really hit on something here. A lot of it is about the kinds of clothes we wear and getting the right ones for our body types. I love the long maxi dresses out there these days - they're cool in the summer and very feminine. But I am big-chested and have too much body fat to wear the halter styles or spaghetti strap ones. But I saw some nice sleeveless v-neck dresses that I think will be quite suitable.

gwnorth, I can't stand shopping at a mall. Up here in Canada, we have very limited selection, don't you think? If peg leg capri pants are the "in" thing, it seems that's all the stores carry. And, I find the quality of goods available up here is getting worse by the day. Our retailers are under some misconception that Canadians only want "discount" goods. Ugh. At my age, and with my body, I can't get away with cheap stuff. (Don't get me started on suburban shopping malls!) I find I sometimes have to shop online and order from the U.S. to get a better selection and find what I really want. I can so relate to your post. There's nothing worse than wandering around the mall, trying on tons of clothes, and coming out empty-handed and depressed. How come I only find great stuff at great prices when I'm broke? When I have the money to spend and am ready to buy, there's nothing out there! lol...



I am an online shopper myself! I have to wear dress clothes for work and on weekends I am in shorts or jeans and a tank top! Right now I have on a pair of Levi's with the knee ripped out of them and a plain black tank and my hair piled high on my head in a not so neat fashion. I feel sexy! Point is if you are comfortable and confident... sexiness is just a given! If you feel good in a potato sack honey... WORK IT!

(an OP you should be very proud of your progress and do not let something as simple as a piece of clothing deter your determination to continue. I think you look great)

[rendylee]

I think all those smock or peasant type blouses scream maternity but maybe that is just me..
and who is picking the colors right now???

Nope, not just you...couldn't have said this better myself, lol...

[itsagoodday]

The only bad part about losing weight is having to shop for new clothes every month or two. I honestly am not a happy shopper. Feeling sexy? Not. A shopping trip is a success if I'm not homicidal by the end of it.

[danap3681]

I think all those smock or peasant type blouses scream maternity but maybe that is just me..
and who is picking the colors right now???

We have those here too. I have never seen such ugly prints in my life!

[danap3681]

The only bad part about losing weight is having to shop for new clothes every month or two. I honestly am not a happy shopper. Feeling sexy? Not. A shopping trip is a success if I'm not homicidal by the end of it.

When I was losing weight I hate to admit it but I opted for dresses. They are more forgiving than pants. I was not a fan of dresses but it was the lesser of two evils for me... shop or wear dresses! (again...I HATE SHOPPING)

[itsagoodday]

When I was losing weight I hate to admit it but I opted for dresses. They are more forgiving than pants. I was not a fan of dresses but it was the lesser of two evils for me... shop or wear dresses! (again...I HATE SHOPPING)

I hear ya. Unfortunately, I'm a jeans and a t-shirt type of girl at any weight. I'm trying to short-circuit mall shopping trips by going to Eddie Bauer online every six weeks and ordering everything one size smaller than I did the last time. I haven't been overweight forever, and did keep some of my old clothes. Problem is I'm off season! I just dug out the old size 14 pants I'd saved and most of them are winter weight. Oh, black velvet pants are going to do me a lot of good when it's 80 degrees outside.

Ah well, I could have worse problems :)

[gwnorth]

alright here goes...have you recently been on a diet? do you have this ideal image in your head of what you want to be and you cannot feel good about yourself til you get there?
Yes you are in your 40's but this does not mean you cannot feel confident about yourself and sexy..
I do understand about the clothes in the stores right now..
FRUMPY is a dirty word in my book and does not belong in any woman's vocabulary when she is describing herself..

Hit the nail on the head. Been dieting for a year. Last time I weighed this much I was much happier. Dh tells me he thinks I look better this time around. Part of the problem is that now that I've become more serious about strength training, I see the fitness models, and they've become my new "ideal" (even though I know many of their pics are air brushed). My biggest issue, apart from my still relatively high bf%, is my celulite, which is mostly on the back of my legs and but.

As for the frumpy thing, I'm a stay-at-home-mom. I wear things that I think look good, but then I then I see working moms in their fashionable work clothes, and I feel frumpy. I have no reason to wear 6" stiletos or mini-dresses. My wardrobe mostly consists of t-shirts and jeans. I think I have more work-out-wear in my closet than other clothes.

[rendylee]

When I was losing weight I hate to admit it but I opted for dresses. They are more forgiving than pants. I was not a fan of dresses but it was the lesser of two evils for me... shop or wear dresses! (again...I HATE SHOPPING)

Mine are skirts, and have worn more in the past two weeks, than the past two years, lol...but they look better than the pants where the bum fabric?? just hangs!!

[whatevergirl]

I don't know if 'sexy' per se, is a state of mind, as much as just having an overall confident, positive attitude about one's self. And one's self image. Sex appeal changes in the eye of the beholder. So, to me, one's confidence level and so on, should come from within. How we look on the outside, can often determine how we feel in the inside. (that is true) But, we have to celebrate the victories as they come...and feel good about who we are, and not always look to compare ourselves to someone else who we may think has a more 'ideal' body than ourselves. It's good to strive to be stronger, leaner, etc...if those are one's goals. But, it's important to celebrate the little victories along the way, as you near the overall goal. Those little victories can cause you to feel confident and in turn, perhaps 'sexy,' as we continue along the journey.

Not sure if any of what I just posted made sense. lol But...that's my take. :o

[gwnorth]

I think you really hit on something here. A lot of it is about the kinds of clothes we wear and getting the right ones for our body types. I love the long maxi dresses out there these days - they're cool in the summer and very feminine. But I am big-chested and have too much body fat to wear the halter styles or spaghetti strap ones. But I saw some nice sleeveless v-neck dresses that I think will be quite suitable.

gwnorth, I can't stand shopping at a mall. Up here in Canada, we have very limited selection, don't you think? If peg leg capri pants are the "in" thing, it seems that's all the stores carry. And, I find the quality of goods available up here is getting worse by the day. Our retailers are under some misconception that Canadians only want "discount" goods. Ugh. At my age, and with my body, I can't get away with cheap stuff. (Don't get me started on suburban shopping malls!) I find I sometimes have to shop online and order from the U.S. to get a better selection and find what I really want. I can so relate to your post. There's nothing worse than wandering around the mall, trying on tons of clothes, and coming out empty-handed and depressed. How come I only find great stuff at great prices when I'm broke? When I have the money to spend and am ready to buy, there's nothing out there! lol...

Lisa, I love your avatar. You look sexy. I however can't imagine wearing a top that shows that much clevage. I'd feel so self-conscious. I think it comes down to my repressive Catholic upbringing and my self-esteem issues.

[danap3681]

Hit the nail on the head. Been dieting for a year. Last time I weighed this much I was much happier. Dh tells me he thinks I look better this time around. Part of the problem is that now that I've become more serious about strength training, I see the fitness models, and they've become my new "ideal" (even though I know many of their pics are air brushed). My biggest issue, apart from my still relatively high bf%, is my celulite, which is mostly on the back of my legs and but.

As for the frumpy thing, I'm a stay-at-home-mom. I wear things that I think look good, but then I then I see working moms in their fashionable work clothes, and I feel frumpy. I have no reason to wear 6" stiletos or mini-dresses. My wardrobe mostly consists of t-shirts and jeans. I think I have more work-out-wear in my closet than other clothes.

Cellulite... oh yeah! That stuff. The stuff on the back of my legs that I have never been able to rid myself of. Well I have been working really hard and I will tell you... it goes away. Slowly but it does. I do not notice near as much on my legs as I did last year. And if you think skinny people don't have it...wrong! I was trying to get as skinny as I could last year and I dropped down to a 116lbs and for my height...that is sickly looking! It still had it on the backs of my legs just as I do now. Keep working (as will I) and I am sure you will notice it less and less over time.

Even if you usually only wear jeans and t-shirts most of the time... step out of the box. Pick a few things off the racks you would never ever choose. You may surprise yourself and find something that makes you feel really great!

(and I do have more workout gear than work and casual combined... but I love it :) )

[euroman]

Or alternatively titled "I Still Feel Fat".

We've been having a heat wave here in SW Ontario the past two weeks. Serious summer temperatures, which fortunately seem to have passed and we are back to Spring. With temps suddenly shooting up to the mid 20's (Celcius), I had no bottoms to wear. I had 1 pair of lightweight capris that I bought last spring, which are now at least 2 sizes too big. Yeah me right? So I had to go shopping. What a depressing experience. I hated almost everything I tried on. I'm really hating these 60's inspired Twiggy fashions. I love the look, just not on me. Peg leg cropped pants and peasant blouses don't do anything for me: 1) I'm short 2) I'm curvy 3) I'm short waisted. I left the mall feeling seriously depressed. Here I am a size 6/4 depending on the brand, and I still feel fat. The only thing I bought was new underwear because my bra size has changed quite a bit. Dh was all excited when I told him I'd shopped at Victoria's Secret (never have before), but I think he was dissapointed by my choices. Sorry sweetie, but a brown paper bag would look sexy on the VS models. There isn't anything inherently sexy about VS lingerie. It's what's inside it that is the deciding factor and I don't have a thong worthy but.

What I can't understand is why when I look at something "sexy", I think not for me and yet I see women at the gym in the changeroom, with higher bf% than me, and they're wearing thongs and low rise everything. Why can't I see myself as sexy? Elegant or stylish maybe (though more often frumpy), but not sexy. Either they're all delusional (and not to mention 20 years younger than me), or maybe I'm too realistic. I think I need some rose coloured glasses.

So what do you guys think when you see a woman who doesn't have the ideal figure, wearing something sexy? Does it work as long as they think they're sexy?

your not fat you have to like yourself. There are limits to what someone should wear, but as long as they wear it well go ahead.

[tinyfirey]

I don't know if 'sexy' per se, is a state of mind, as much as just having an overall confident, positive attitude about one's self. And one's self image. Sex appeal changes in the eye of the beholder. So, to me, one's confidence level and so on, should come from within. How we look on the outside, can often determine how we feel in the inside. (that is true) But, we have to celebrate the victories as they come...and feel good about who we are, and not always look to compare ourselves to someone else who we may think has a more 'ideal' body than ourselves. It's good to strive to be stronger, leaner, etc...if those are one's goals. But, it's important to celebrate the little victories along the way, as you near the overall goal. Those little victories can cause you to feel confident and in turn, perhaps 'sexy,' as we continue along the journey.

Not sure if any of what I just posted made sense. lol But...that's my take. :o

Agreed.

Also: I'm not a fan of the fashion now because a lot of it doesn't seem to "suit" my short womanly figure ;)

I think sexy is indeed a state of mind in many ways. I did start to feel it most when I lost weight, walked heaps, and started lifting because I felt better, healthier, stronger, and sexier but it wasn't just the outside that changed. When you're more confident with yourself, people see it. Confidence is key. It is something in your mind that you have to use and control. I always wear my sexy undies because, well they feel great, make me feel confident I guess, and because they suit my bum better. There's more to it though, beyond the appearances.

[latebloomingmom]

Hit the nail on the head. Been dieting for a year. Last time I weighed this much I was much happier. Dh tells me he thinks I look better this time around. Part of the problem is that now that I've become more serious about strength training, I see the fitness models, and they've become my new "ideal" (even though I know many of their pics are air brushed). My biggest issue, apart from my still relatively high bf%, is my celulite, which is mostly on the back of my legs and but.

As for the frumpy thing, I'm a stay-at-home-mom. I wear things that I think look good, but then I then I see working moms in their fashionable work clothes, and I feel frumpy. I have no reason to wear 6" stiletos or mini-dresses. My wardrobe mostly consists of t-shirts and jeans. I think I have more work-out-wear in my closet than other clothes.
I understand. I really do. I was a stay at home mom for over ten years. birth to age five for each one of my sons. t-shirts and blue jeans are what I like to wear too but it sure helps if they fit right and look decent. remember that you are a work in progress..you may not be where you want to be but..you are not where you used to be!

[LisaSkinnoble]

Lisa, I love your avatar. You look sexy. I however can't imagine wearing a top that shows that much clevage. I'd feel so self-conscious. I think it comes down to my repressive Catholic upbringing and my self-esteem issues.

LOL... Irish Catholic girl here. Thanks for the nice words. That's a top I only wear at home. And not until just this moment did I realise that it's on the internet for the world to see. Ha ha! Irony! But understand my strategy - if I wear a low-cut top, Mr Flexy's eyes stop at the boobs and don't make their way down to my big belly. ;)

I think whatevergirl's post was very good - so much of sexy is a state of mind and how we feel. There is a young woman at my gym who wears about 4 different girdles. Seriously. One girdle for her bum and thighs, one wrapped around her waist, another on her back, and this crazy industrial strength bra. So much effort. And yes, she does look about 4 sizes smaller in all that "foundation". But, Lord, it can't be comfortable. I don't think I'd feel that sexy all wrapped up in that stuff at all.

We gals worry so much about how we look. But sometimes, first thing in the morning, when I'm in a huge terry bathrobe, with no make-up and bed-head, Jim will say "Gosh you look great." Then I scratch my head and think, "huh?". He says I am most attractive when I'm relaxed, not stressing, and happy and smiling.

[LisaSkinnoble]

Agreed.

Also: I'm not a fan of the fashion now because a lot of it doesn't seem to "suit" my short womanly figure ;)

I think sexy is indeed a state of mind in many ways. I did start to feel it most when I lost weight, walked heaps, and started lifting because I felt better, healthier, stronger, and sexier but it wasn't just the outside that changed. When you're more confident with yourself, people see it. Confidence is key. It is something in your mind that you have to use and control. I always wear my sexy undies because, well they feel great, make me feel confident I guess, and because they suit my bum better. There's more to it though, beyond the appearances.

Very true, Tiny. I workout first thing in the morning. I clean my teeth and face and brush my hair, but I have no makeup. And when I workout, my face is always red, and surely contorted. Jim says when a gal works hard, she looks hot. Strength, health, and energy are sexy.

[whatevergirl]

Agreed.

Also: I'm not a fan of the fashion now because a lot of it doesn't seem to "suit" my short womanly figure ;)

I think sexy is indeed a state of mind in many ways. I did start to feel it most when I lost weight, walked heaps, and started lifting because I felt better, healthier, stronger, and sexier but it wasn't just the outside that changed. When you're more confident with yourself, people see it. Confidence is key. It is something in your mind that you have to use and control. I always wear my sexy undies because, well they feel great, make me feel confident I guess, and because they suit my bum better. There's more to it though, beyond the appearances.

I remember when Pamela Lee Anderson was 'in.' (she might still be in, not sure lol) And I said to myself...I'll never really look like her...and I don't really want to. Sex appeal can be different for many. Back in the day, Marilyn Monroe was the epitome of sex appeal. I'm not sure she'd be 'in' today...but then again, we are getting away from the Kate Moss look of the emaciated supermodel look. So...perhaps, she might be 'in' nowadays. All that said. I am me. And I like me. :o

I think that as a woman 'matures,' she discovers a lot about herself...and to me. You have to feel good about being in your own skin. To me? That is sexy, come to think of it. When I see women trying so hard to be someone they are not. That. Is not sexy.

That goes for men, too...

Interesting and very thought provoking thread!! :) I like this discussion.

[tinyfirey]

Very true, Tiny. I workout first thing in the morning. I clean my teeth and face and brush my hair, but I have no makeup. And when I workout, my face is always red, and surely contorted. Jim says when a gal works hard, she looks hot. Strength, health, and energy are sexy.

This is extremely true. We think we look bad when we work out or work hard but it is hot!

[danap3681]

LOL... Irish Catholic girl here. Thanks for the nice words. That's a top I only wear at home. And not until just this moment did I realise that it's on the internet for the world to see. Ha ha! Irony! But understand my strategy - if I wear a low-cut top, Mr Flexy's eyes stop at the boobs and don't make their way down to my big belly. ;)

I think whatevergirl's post was very good - so much of sexy is a state of mind and how we feel. There is a young woman at my gym who wears about 4 different girdles. Seriously. One girdle for her bum and thighs, one wrapped around her waist, another on her back, and this crazy industrial strength bra. So much effort. And yes, she does look about 4 sizes smaller in all that "foundation". But, Lord, it can't be comfortable. I don't think I'd feel that sexy all wrapped up in that stuff at all.

We gals worry so much about how we look. But sometimes, first thing in the morning, when I'm in a huge terry bathrobe, with no make-up and bed-head, Jim will say "Gosh you look great." Then I scratch my head and think, "huh?". He says I am most attractive when I'm relaxed, not stressing, and happy and smiling.

I love that... being happy and a big beautiful smile is about as good as it gets!

[tinyfirey]

I remember when Pamela Lee Anderson was 'in.' (she might still be in, not sure lol) And I said to myself...I'll never really look like her...and I don't really want to. Sex appeal can be different for many. Back in the day, Marilyn Monroe was the epitome of sex appeal. I'm not sure she'd be 'in' today...but then again, we are getting away from the Kate Moss look of the emaciated supermodel look. So...perhaps, she might be 'in' nowadays. All that said. I am me. And I like me. :o I used to think about 'buying' fake boobies, a few years ago, and now...I'm so glad I didn't. (if someone wants to, I'm not saying not to...just saying, this is something I'm glad I didn't do)

I think that as a woman 'matures,' she discovers a lot about herself...and to me. You have to feel good about being in your own skin. To me? That is sexy, come to think of it. When I see women trying so hard to be someone they are not. That. Is not sexy.

That goes for men, too...

Interesting and very thought provoking thread!! :) I like this discussion.

Very nice. We only have one life and a short amount of time in our own skin, we can and should enjoy it. Feeling good in your own skin is so important. And if you don't, then something may need to be changed :)

I feel so much better and more confident when I do exercise and 'keep in touch' with my body, energy and health.

I like reading this stuff too.

[whatevergirl]

Agreed.

Also: I'm not a fan of the fashion now because a lot of it doesn't seem to "suit" my short womanly figure ;)

I think sexy is indeed a state of mind in many ways. I did start to feel it most when I lost weight, walked heaps, and started lifting because I felt better, healthier, stronger, and sexier but it wasn't just the outside that changed. When you're more confident with yourself, people see it. Confidence is key. It is something in your mind that you have to use and control. I always wear my sexy undies because, well they feel great, make me feel confident I guess, and because they suit my bum better. There's more to it though, beyond the appearances.

sexy undies for the win! :D
see that?
no one sees them but you. and you feel elated wearing them.
that's all that matters. :)

[tinyfirey]

I love that... being happy and a big beautiful smile is about as good as it gets!


LOL... Irish Catholic girl here. Thanks for the nice words. That's a top I only wear at home. And not until just this moment did I realise that it's on the internet for the world to see. Ha ha! Irony! But understand my strategy - if I wear a low-cut top, Mr Flexy's eyes stop at the boobs and don't make their way down to my big belly. ;)

I think whatevergirl's post was very good - so much of sexy is a state of mind and how we feel. There is a young woman at my gym who wears about 4 different girdles. Seriously. One girdle for her bum and thighs, one wrapped around her waist, another on her back, and this crazy industrial strength bra. So much effort. And yes, she does look about 4 sizes smaller in all that "foundation". But, Lord, it can't be comfortable. I don't think I'd feel that sexy all wrapped up in that stuff at all.

We gals worry so much about how we look. But sometimes, first thing in the morning, when I'm in a huge terry bathrobe, with no make-up and bed-head, Jim will say "Gosh you look great." Then I scratch my head and think, "huh?". He says I am most attractive when I'm relaxed, not stressing, and happy and smiling.

Sorry for multiple posts but these are great.

[whatevergirl]

Very nice. We only have one life and a short amount of time in our own skin, we can and should enjoy it. Feeling good in your own skin is so important. And if you don't, then something may need to be changed :)

I feel so much better and more confident when I do exercise and 'keep in touch' with my body, energy and health.

I like reading this stuff too.

yes, i agree. :)
(oh i edited my post...regarding fake boobies...only as to not offend anyone who has them...i'm all for them. lol i just a) couldn't justify the cost and over time b) just felt that they weren't for me) I just edited that part out as to not have anyone misconstrue that i'm against fake boobies. for, i'm not. ;)

anyways. carry on. :D

[whatevergirl]

Sorry for multiple posts but these are great.

Yes they are...Lisa, you make great points, too. (and hello) :)

I have a friend...she dyes her hair depending on the guy she's dating, and what hair color he prefers. I have forgotten what her natural hair color is now. lol It actually saddens me to see her do this. I told her...if you need to change for every guy...then, what happens when there is no guy around? Hmmm...


Learn to love your self and your body...because at the end of the day, that type of attitude exudes its own sexiness. I think this, anyways. Not sure anyone else does. :o

[gwnorth]

Totally agree! I always have my matching cute/sexy undies on. It does make me feel sexy.

I'm with you on the clothes right now. I like the styles, but they look terrible on me. Despite being extremely small, something about those peasant shirts makes me appear pregnant, most likely a combination of being short waisted, thick waisted for my size and bad posture. So I've had some bad shopping trips myself over the past few months and I love shopping.

To answer your original question, though, I do think sexy is a state of mind 100%. If you're confident and feel good about yourself, it shows and it's very sexy. A friend of mine told me you have to believe your own hype, or no one else will, to be confident is not necessarily being cocky - there's a big difference. I know you have come a very long way and have so much to be proud of. A bad shopping trip brings everyone down. Once you find some things that you look good in and that suit your figure, you will feel so much better...and SEXIER. Don't be shy to go to VS and buy some thongs - I'm sure your husband would love to see you in them :)

Oh I'm sure he would too. He seems to be an ass man. I did buy a few pairs of "cheekies" and they feel like I have a wedgie. I think thongs look sexy if you have a great glutes, but (:)) I can't understand how any one could find them comfortable! I also bought a padded lift bra. I'm a 34C, but the girls are a bit deflated from weight loss, and gravity and children have taken their toll. I can understand why some women opt for breast implants (but not for me).

[themyth2009]

I have to be honest. I am not a mind reader. State of mind does not have much of an impact on the way a woman looks. With that said sexy comes in all shapes and sizes. Women are usually way to hard on themselves.

[whatevergirl]

Oh I'm sure he would too. He seems to be an ass man. I did buy a few pairs of "cheekies" and they feel like I have a wedgie. I think thongs look sexy if you have a great glutes, but (:)) I can't understand how any one could find them comfortable! I also bought a padded lift bra. I'm a 34C, but the girls are a bit deflated from weight loss, and gravity and children have taken their toll. I can understand why some women opt for breast implants (but not for me).

I agree about thongs. Not comfortable. :p

[whatevergirl]

I have to be honest. I am not a mind reader. State of mind does not have much of an impact on the way a woman looks. With that said sexy comes in all shapes and sizes. Women are usually way to hard on themselves.

Perhaps, the wisest post you have ever uttered on these forums, sir. ;) srs. well said.

[LisaSkinnoble]

I agree about thongs. Not comfortable. :p

Thongs have be bought one size up, I find.

[LisaSkinnoble]

I have to be honest. I am not a mind reader. State of mind does not have much of an impact on the way a woman looks. With that said sexy comes in all shapes and sizes. Women are usually way to hard on themselves.


Perhaps, the wisest post you have ever uttered on these forums, sir. ;) srs. well said.

Agreed! Nice post, Mr Myth!

[gwnorth]

I have to be honest. I am not a mind reader. State of mind does not have much of an impact on the way a woman looks. With that said sexy comes in all shapes and sizes. Women are usually way to hard on themselves.

Sigh, and then the next day I was at the gym and seeing a few of the other ladies who lift and being envious of their strength. There is one lady in particular. She works so hard. Her squats are fabulous and her upper body strength is impressive. She's currently on mat leave with an 8 month old. Of course I know I've made great progress this year too and I'm still working hard. It's just sometimes hard to reconcile what your head says and your heart.

I think part of it is the time of year. Spring and Fall always feel like times of new beginnings for me and I tend to get very introspective. It also doesn't help that a year ago this time dh told me he wanted a divorce. I don't think my self-esteem has fully recovered.

[LisaSkinnoble]

Sigh, and then the next day I was at the gym and seeing a few of the other ladies who lift and being envious of their strength. There is one lady in particular. She works so hard. Her squats are fabulous and her upper body strength is impressive. She's currently on mat leave with an 8 month old. Of course I know I've made great progress this year too and I'm still working hard. It's just sometimes hard to reconcile what your head says and your heart.

I think part of it is the time of year. Spring and Fall always feel like times of new beginnings for me and I tend to get very introspective. It also doesn't help that a year ago this time dh told me he wanted a divorce. I don't think my self-esteem has fully recovered.

Ah. Okay. I get ya.

I think your original question is, "Is sexy a state of mind?" Yes, I think so. You look fabulous, have made great progress, but you've got this anniversary stuck in your mind and this is over-shadowing all your positives. I get that.

There is a school of thought, when it comes to self-esteem, that says we ought to put the brakes on those self-deprecating negative thoughts. As soon as they start creeping up in the back of your mind, say aloud or shout in your mind, "STOP! I give you no creedence. You are not welcome here!" Sounds nutty, I know, but sometimes it works.

Focus, really focus, on your positives. Divorce is ghastly, I know. Been there.

There's a pretty good book, "The Seven Pillars of Self-Esteem", can't remember the author, sorry. But you might like it, check the library for it. :)

[gwnorth]

Ah. Okay. I get ya.

I think your original question is, "Is sexy a state of mind?" Yes, I think so. You look fabulous, have made great progress, but you've got this anniversary stuck in your mind and this is over-shadowing all your positives. I get that.

There is a school of thought, when it comes to self-esteem, that says we ought to put the brakes on those self-deprecating negative thoughts. As soon as they start creeping up in the back of your mind, say aloud or shout in your mind, "STOP! I give you no creedence. You are not welcome here!" Sounds nutty, I know, but sometimes it works.

Focus, really focus, on your positives. Divorce is ghastly, I know. Been there.

There's a pretty good book, "The Seven Pillars of Self-Esteem", can't remember the author, sorry. But you might like it, check the library for it. :)

I think I'll look into that book. I've had self-esteem issues going back to my childhood.

BTW - we didn't get divorced. Dh was going through a lot of stress and a self-esteem crisis of his own. He took it back several hours later, but it still creeps into my mind from time to time. It's partly what led to me finally getting back into the gym and training again. It was a wake up call.

[LisaSkinnoble]

I think I'll look into that book. I've had self-esteem issues going back to my childhood.

BTW - we didn't get divorced. Dh was going through a lot of stress and a self-esteem crisis of his own. He took it back several hours later, but it still creeps into my mind from time to time. It's partly what led to me finally getting back into the gym and training again. It was a wake up call.

I'm very glad for you that you didn't get divorced. :)

Grab the hubs and come over for a beer and a steak one night. Girl, we work out at the same gym, I bet we're only a cab ride away!

[-=FLEX=-]

So what do you guys think when you see a woman who doesn't have the ideal figure, wearing something sexy? Does it work as long as they think they're sexy?

If you care to receive the opinion of a man, there is a lot more to "sexy" than a particular size, shape or weight.

Confidence, intelligence, humor, and a whole lotta other stuff that I cannot even qualify (such as a 'look' in a woman's eye) all figure into the equation.

Also, there is no such thing as an "ideal figure" because men differ in their opinions on what that might be.

Some men (not me) like skinny waifs, and some men (definitely me) prefer a fuller figure.

Looking at your avi, you look great. Wear what you want, and be proud of your progress.

[gwnorth]

I'm very glad for you that you didn't get divorced. :)

Grab the hubs and come over for a beer and a steak one night. Girl, we work out at the same gym, I bet we're only a cab ride away!

Yeah it's too bad we're not there at the same time. Being a stay-at-home-mom has it's upsides. I train at 10:00 am when the kids are at school. The gym isn't too busy then, but it's still sometimes hard to get a squat rack. I wonder if there'll be a change in the number of people once the Meadowvale club opens.

As much as I like it there, I'm going to check out the new Lifetime Fitness. A friend of mine joined and is going to take me on a guest pass. Everyone I know whose been there is raving. Even dh's trainer joined and he's a fitness manager at Goodlife! The membership price is out of this world, but I like the fact that they have programming for kids. My kids are 8 and 10 - way to old for the babysitting at Goodlife. The rock climbing wall looks like a lot of fun. It's something that I've always wanted to try and I think the kids would like it too. They've also got 2 olympic sized pools. We've got an inground, but it's too small for lap swimming and I don't like doing laps at the city pools as they're too crowded.

[gwnorth]

If you care to receive the opinion of a man, there is a lot more to "sexy" than a particular size, shape or weight.

Confidence, intelligence, humor, and a whole lotta other stuff that I cannot even qualify (such as a 'look' in a woman's eye) all figure into the equation.

Also, there is no such thing as an "ideal figure" because men differ in their opinions on what that might be.

Some men (not me) like skinny waifs, and some men (definitely me) prefer a fuller figure.

Looking at your avi, you look great. Wear what you want, and be proud of your progress.

Thank-you.

[themyth2009]

Perhaps, the wisest post you have ever uttered on these forums, sir. ;) srs. well said.

Hey Sharon how you been...drop me a line.

Been on this board since 1999 so if this is the wisest I just realized I am a pretty stupid man. :)

[latebloomingmom]

If you care to receive the opinion of a man, there is a lot more to "sexy" than a particular size, shape or weight.

Confidence, intelligence, humor, and a whole lotta other stuff that I cannot even qualify (such as a 'look' in a woman's eye) all figure into the equation.

Also, there is no such thing as an "ideal figure" because men differ in their opinions on what that might be.

Some men (not me) like skinny waifs, and some men (definitely me) prefer a fuller figure.

Looking at your avi, you look great. Wear what you want, and be proud of your progress.
NICE POST FLEX!
give that girl of yours a hug for me would ya?:)
or have her give you one...
or for gosh sakes just hug each other..sheesh

[latebloomingmom]

I have to be honest. I am not a mind reader. State of mind does not have much of an impact on the way a woman looks. With that said sexy comes in all shapes and sizes. Women are usually way to hard on themselves.
what do you mean state of mind does not have much of an impact on the way a woman looks? wanna explain that one to me?




dang-it should have used the multi quote button. oh well
OP:



when it comes to that nasty voice that creeps in your head...
the one that likes to tell you things like
you're too old
too weak
too dumb
too out of shape
you will never look like------ no matter how hard you try
you know that voice? It is not your friend. it is the enemy
tell that voice to f*ck off! now practice it over and over til you mean it!

[whatevergirl]

Hey Sharon how you been...drop me a line.

Been on this board since 1999 so if this is the wisest I just realized I am a pretty stupid man. :)

lolz :D

i know...we lost touch. :o i hope you are doing ok...have you in my prayers...always. you have been traveling a lot i think i read in the ov35 misc. be safe.

and...be good. ;)

[UnaChispita]

FRUMPY is a dirty word in my book and does not belong in any woman's vocabulary when she is describing herself..

This.

Personally, I LOVE being in my forties. I don't give one sh*t what people think at this point. I am a much more confident woman than when I was in my 20ties. Sexy is a state of mind. It is an aura that if you truly exude, others will see.

Girl, your head needs to catch up with your new body. Give it some time. Congratulations, btw, on all your hard work!

[danap3681]

Oh I'm sure he would too. He seems to be an ass man. I did buy a few pairs of "cheekies" and they feel like I have a wedgie. I think thongs look sexy if you have a great glutes, but (:)) I can't understand how any one could find them comfortable! I also bought a padded lift bra. I'm a 34C, but the girls are a bit deflated from weight loss, and gravity and children have taken their toll. I can understand why some women opt for breast implants (but not for me).

If you want a great pair of thongs get a few pair Angels Secret Embrace by VS. They are not string thongs and they are not made of thick material. I wear them under my gym clothes because they do not show any lines at all and they are very comfortable and they stay in place. Not the sexiest but quite comfy!

My ass was non existent years but by doing a few good exercises consistently I have raised that little booty up and others have noticed so I know it is working and not just my imagination. And by the way... the "cheekies" are my favorites by far. :)

[Big_Sky_Guy]

If you care to receive the opinion of a man, there is a lot more to "sexy" than a particular size, shape or weight.

Confidence, intelligence, humor, and a whole lotta other stuff that I cannot even qualify (such as a 'look' in a woman's eye) all figure into the equation.

Also, there is no such thing as an "ideal figure" because men differ in their opinions on what that might be.

Some men (not me) like skinny waifs, and some men (definitely me) prefer a fuller figure. I am more middle ground

Looking at your avi, you look great. Wear what you want, and be proud of your progress.


This. Sexy is more about an attitude towards life.


A person that believes and values themself is by and large more attractive than a person that does not. Taking physical care of ourselves is one of the ways we value ourself. Sadly- we all seem to know someone that should spend more time working on their inside attractiveness.

Flex and I are sexy. Even when we are all chubby and stuff. Just ask us ;)

[latebloomingmom]

This.

Personally, I LOVE being in my forties. I don't give one sh*t what people think at this point. I am a much more confident woman than when I was in my 20ties. Sexy is a state of mind. It is an aura that if you truly exude, others will see.

Girl, your head needs to catch up with your new body. Give it some time. Congratulations, btw, on all your hard work!
Right!:)
there is a strength, a confidence that comes from what you have experienced on this earth
everyday you have walked it for these 40 years or so...
your wisdom, your skills, your compassion all makes up who you are
at this point in your life..
NO, you are not the you that you used to be at 20...so what..
you are the you that you have become at 40..stronger!
you have already dealt with a lot of issues in your life that others have yet to face..
you have already dealt with pain, with loss, with parenthood?
ok...this makes you a wise woman.
you are taking care of yourself? watching your diet? exercising? now this? makes you a sexy woman!

[UnaChispita]

Right!:)
there is a strength, a confidence that comes from what you have experienced on this earth
everyday you have walked it for these 40 years or so...
your wisdom, your skills, your compassion all makes up who you are
at this point in your life..
NO, you are not the you that you used to be at 20...so what..
you are the you that you have become at 40..stronger!
you have already dealt with a lot of issues in your life that others have yet to face..
you have already dealt with pain, with loss, with parenthood?
ok...this makes you a wise woman.

Exactly!!!!

OP--This might seem pretty weird to post on bb site, but Maya Angelou has this great poem called "Phenomenal Woman." I think she sums up what sexy is...here is one part of the poem:

"Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me."

[Artistry]

I honestly wish I had anything to offer other than commiseration. One of the things I've always wondered is what I would think of my body if I didn't know it was mine, if that makes sense. Are the flaws real or imaginary? Or both?

To some degree, I think sexy is a state of mind. Some people just seem so comfortable in their own skin that you can't help but want to be around them. I've seen bellydancers who have quite a bit of extra wiggle, but they still manage to look unbelievably hot because they feel good about their bodies and it somehow translates to what they're doing.

[gwnorth]

I honestly wish I had anything to offer other than commiseration. One of the things I've always wondered is what I would think of my body if I didn't know it was mine, if that makes sense. Are the flaws real or imaginary? Or both?

To some degree, I think sexy is a state of mind. Some people just seem so comfortable in their own skin that you can't help but want to be around them. I've seen bellydancers who have quite a bit of extra wiggle, but they still manage to look unbelievably hot because they feel good about their bodies and it somehow translates to what they're doing.

I read somewhere that other people will find you 20% more attractive then what you perceive yourself to be.

[themyth2009]

This.

Personally, I LOVE being in my forties. I don't give one sh*t what people think at this point. I am a much more confident woman than when I was in my 20ties. Sexy is a state of mind. It is an aura that if you truly exude, others will see.

Girl, your head needs to catch up with your new body. Give it some time. Congratulations, btw, on all your hard work!

This sexy is a state of mind is a crock of sheet....if I wake up tomorrow 400lbs with no teeth. I could walk around all day thinking I am sexy and it wont make a dam bit of difference.

See porn videos and mag covers. Does anyone know their state of mind.

It is great to love yourself no matter what you look like, etc. But it dont make it sexy just cause you think it is so.

It is like saying I am tall because I think I am...no I am still 5 9 no matter how tall I think I am. I think I am young does that help? Nope pretty sure the 20 year old girls still see a 40 year old man.

[gwnorth]

Thank-you everyone for your wonderful words of encouragement. I think I was just having a rough few days. The scale tells me I was actually retaining quite a bit of water the day I went shopping and you know those mirrors and lights in the dressing rooms are never flattering. Some very good advice by all. It's hard sometimes to ignore that voice in my head when I've been conditioned to expect the best from myself and I feel frustrated when I fall short of the mark (by my standards). I never used to think I was a perfectionist, but I've come to realize that I am.

Anyway, the journey continues. Tomorrow I start the next stage of my training. Good-bye to weight loss, and hello to building strength.

Thank-you all once again.

[danap3681]

Thank-you everyone for your wonderful words of encouragement. I think I was just having a rough few days. The scale tells me I was actually retaining quite a bit of water the day I went shopping and you know those mirrors and lights in the dressing rooms are never flattering. Some very good advice by all. It's hard sometimes to ignore that voice in my head when I've been conditioned to expect the best from myself and I feel frustrated when I fall short of the mark (by my standards). I never used to think I was a perfectionist, but I've come to realize that I am.

Anyway, the journey continues. Tomorrow I start the next stage of my training. Good-bye to weight loss, and hello to building strength.

Thank-you all once again.

Much success on your new program! Please keep us updated. And one thing I love about this site is the support I get and being able to vent to all the people on here. It is great to have a sounding board. I have met some really great people on here and I value their opinions and take their advice to heart!

[Artistry]

Thank-you everyone for your wonderful words of encouragement. I think I was just having a rough few days. The scale tells me I was actually retaining quite a bit of water the day I went shopping and you know those mirrors and lights in the dressing rooms are never flattering. Some very good advice by all. It's hard sometimes to ignore that voice in my head when I've been conditioned to expect the best from myself and I feel frustrated when I fall short of the mark (by my standards). I never used to think I was a perfectionist, but I've come to realize that I am.

Anyway, the journey continues. Tomorrow I start the next stage of my training. Good-bye to weight loss, and hello to building strength.

Thank-you all once again.

Sometimes that voice is a real b*tch. Try not to let her get to you.

Good luck!

[themyth2009]

I read somewhere that other people will find you 20% more attractive then what you perceive yourself to be.

In my case I am about 95% less attractive than I perceive myself

[-=FLEX=-]

Flex and I are sexy. Even when we are all chubby and stuff. Just ask us ;)

Negged.

I ain't chubby bro.

:)

[-=FLEX=-]

This sexy is a state of mind is a crock of sheet....if I wake up tomorrow 400lbs with no teeth. I could walk around all day thinking I am sexy and it wont make a dam bit of difference.

OK John. Lettuce be real tea. That is an extreme.

Within reason........

Luv you bro.

(no homer)

[themyth2009]

[QUOTE=-=FLEX=-;854452543]OK John. Lettuce be real tea. That is an extreme.

Within reason........

Luv you bro.

(no homer)[/QUOTE

Ok pretty sure if I woke tomorrow at 250 and believed I was sexy....most women would not find me so. Unless I won the lotto...then all bets are off.

[-=FLEX=-]

Ok pretty sure if I woke tomorrow at 250 and believed I was sexy....most women would not find me so. Unless I won the lotto...then all bets are off.

I'm 250 and I'm sexy as phcuk yo.

[themyth2009]

I'm 250 and I'm sexy as phcuk yo.

Yeah but your frame a lot bigger than mine. If we had same BF you might have 20lbs on me still. At 250 I would be a bowling balllllll......

[Big_Sky_Guy]

This sexy is a state of mind is a crock of sheet....if I wake up tomorrow 400lbs with no teeth. I could walk around all day thinking I am sexy and it wont make a dam bit of difference.

See porn videos and mag covers. Does anyone know their state of mind.

It is great to love yourself no matter what you look like, etc. But it dont make it sexy just cause you think it is so.

It is like saying I am tall because I think I am...no I am still 5 9 no matter how tall I think I am. I think I am young does that help? Nope pretty sure the 20 year old girls still see a 40 year old man.


You decided to take it to the extreme.

As difficult at it may seem, our 400 lb with no teef subject can still think and act sexy. You may not see it as sexy, but she does.

There seems to be confusion between attractive (pleasant to look at = just taking your cloths off next to the bed at night) and sexy (provoking arousal = being sexy about how you take your cloths off next to the bed at night).

Now- we would find it difficult to be aroused if our mate were 400, but for some people have not problem with it.

[themyth2009]

You decided to take it to the extreme.

As difficult at it may seem, our 400 lb with no teef subject can still think and act sexy. You may not see it as sexy, but she does.

There seems to be confusion between attractive (pleasant to look at = just taking your cloths off next to the bed at night) and sexy (provoking arousal = being sexy about how you take your cloths off next to the bed at night).

Now- we would find it difficult to be aroused if our mate were 400, but for some people have not problem with it.

You seemed to miss my other posts that said sexy comes in all shapes and sizes. What I might like another guy might not and so forth. But what a woman thinks in her mind has no bearing on what I find sexy.

The point of her posts was other people see her as sexy because she does. From your post it would not matter what the person thinks themselves the other person would find this sexy anyway.

[whatevergirl]

@ myth. i think that what the OP is saying, and some of us are saying...isn't that because a person thinks he/she is sexy, the whole world will think so. no. lol we're saying that it's important to be happy with one's self, and that part of being sexy, is how one carries him/herself. just because you might not find someone attractive or sexy, doesn't mean the person is not. it's just your opinion of the person. yes, there are some standards (i gave the pamela lee anderson example above) of what many men might like...megan fox comes to mind, too...when she was the latest ''sex symbol.'' But...I have looked at magazine covers where they might have the 'sexiest man on the planet' as the cover story, and think...i don't find that guy all that sexy. he's attractive, but not necessarily sexy to me. i don't like magazines telling me who i should think is hot, sexy, etc. lol

so...even if a room full of guys might not find a particular chick sexy...doesn't mean she isn't.

a woman's sex appeal and worth....isn't the sum total of how many men she bangs. :o no one should use that as their yardstick of their worth...or sex appeal.

[Big_Sky_Guy]

I did miss that post.

Not necessarily, as if she does not find herself sexy then she would not tend to act sexy. So it does matter what the person thinks of themself.

[themyth2009]

I did miss that post.

Not necessarily, as if she does not find herself sexy then she would not tend to act sexy. So it does matter what the person thinks of themself.

Big man many times my girl dont think she is sexy but you know what she still is in my eyes.

I dunno why this think you are sexy you are sexy stuff has always bugged me. I just think it is a line of crap that Orpha made up to get ratings. :)

[whatevergirl]

Big man many times my girl dont think she is sexy but you know what she still is in my eyes.

I dunno why this think you are sexy you are sexy stuff has always bugged me. I just think it is a line of crap that Orpha made up to get ratings. :)

who's orpha? lol
OPRAH. hahaha

anyways.
it's not because i say i'm sexy, every man will find me so. it's that i shouldn't let what others think of me, dictate what i feel about myself. :o i 'think' that's the overall gist of the thread.

[nvrstopworking]

teh FLEX in the fem misc???

mind = essploded!

in b4 he asks if I even lift. :p

[latebloomingmom]

well I cant say I care for the direction this thread is heading..
is this now a bash the fat chicks thread?
what is the cut-off then for sexy...
I for one, would sure like to know.........................
gonna go back and read this last page or so
just to see how pissed I am gonna be..

[themyth2009]

who's orpha? lol
OPRAH. hahaha

anyways.
it's not because i say i'm sexy, every man will find me so. it's that i shouldn't let what others think of me, dictate what i feel about myself. :o i 'think' that's the overall gist of the thread.

That WEGGERS you might be right and I am missing the point which is possible, fck common for me. Anyway yes no one should dictate how you feel about yourself.

[themyth2009]

well I cant say I care for the direction this thread is heading..
is this now a bash the fat chicks thread?
what is the cut-off then for sexy...
I for one, would sure like to know.........................

Thats cause dat dere Myth guy is kind of an arsehole...wait wut

[latebloomingmom]

@ myth. i think that what the OP is saying, and some of us are saying...isn't that because a person thinks he/she is sexy, the whole world will think so. no. lol we're saying that it's important to be happy with one's self, and that part of being sexy, is how one carries him/herself. just because you might not find someone attractive or sexy, doesn't mean the person is not. it's just your opinion of the person. yes, there are some standards (i gave the pamela lee anderson example above) of what many men might like...megan fox comes to mind, too...when she was the latest ''sex symbol.'' But...I have looked at magazine covers where they might have the 'sexiest man on the planet' as the cover story, and think...i don't find that guy all that sexy. he's attractive, but not necessarily sexy to me. i don't like magazines telling me who i should think is hot, sexy, etc. lol

so...even if a room full of guys might not find a particular chick sexy...doesn't mean she isn't.

a woman's sex appeal and worth....isn't the sum total of how many men she bangs. :o no one should use that as their yardstick of their worth...or sex appeal. Right on the money WEGS!:)


I did miss that post.

Not necessarily, as if she does not find herself sexy then she would not tend to act sexy. So it does matter what the person thinks of themself.Yes, It sure does!


Big man many times my girl dont think she is sexy but you know what she still is in my eyes.

I dunno why this think you are sexy you are sexy stuff has always bugged me. I just think it is a line of crap that Orpha made up to get ratings. :)
why is this a line of crap?

who's orpha? lol
OPRAH. hahaha

anyways.
it's not because i say i'm sexy, every man will find me so. it's that i shouldn't let what others think of me, dictate what i feel about myself. :o i 'think' that's the overall gist of the thread.Right again!


Thats cause dat dere Myth guy is kind of an arsehole...wait wut
hmmmmm...what the fck was this 400 pd and no teeth bullsh*t scenerio?

[whatevergirl]

hmmmmm...what the fck was this 400 pd and no teeth bullsh*t scenerio?

hahahaha this made me laugh. :D
you are a funny lady, lbmom. ;)

[latebloomingmom]

hahahaha this made me laugh. :D
you are a funny lady, lbmom. ;)
thank you..that one just made no sense to me..
if a man/woman weighs 400 pounds does it not make sense
that they probably chewed up a lot of food with their chompers?
what?? they just shoved it all in the blender and hit frappe?:)

[Rowyn]

I think part of the issue may be, OP, that you were really focused on reaching a scale number as your ideal/goal. Fat loss is great but it doesn't produce the same results as lean mass gains. Especially at *cough* our age, lol.

That being said tho, I totally agree that sexy can be a state of mind and I have seen go hum people light up a room with their attitude and draw people to them. And attractive people hunch into themselves and sorta disappear to the extent that one may actually be surprised to discover that this is a conventionally attractive person.

Personally, I see nothing wrong with showing some cleavage or legs or shoulders if it is done with class. I'm all about both being strong (body and spirit) but also womanly.

No, capris are neither flattering nor sexy on most women ugh. Especially us shorties. Go buy some trendy NON- mom jeans with a nice cut and flare and casual but attractive (most Tshirts do not fit the bill) tops and cool accessories. Casual skirts for summer if shorts ain't your thing. Sexy shoes maybe, I wear cowboy boots all the time and my husband thinks they are hot. Jewelry that reflects your style , a fun haircut. Don't use the frumpy stay at home mom excuse here:p!

[danap3681]

thank you..that one just made no sense to me..
if a man/woman weighs 400 pounds does it not make sense
that they probably chewed up a lot of food with their chompers?
what?? they just shoved it all in the blender and hit frappe?:)

LOL!! This made me laugh!

[rendylee]

thank you..that one just made no sense to me..
if a man/woman weighs 400 pounds does it not make sense
that they probably chewed up a lot of food with their chompers?
what?? they just shoved it all in the blender and hit frappe?:)

lol, I wanted to say something close to that, but decided to keep my mouth closed....as I am new and it likely would not have been taken well. I love your outspokeness lbm and always chuckle when reading your posts. You have a great sense of haha!!

[latebloomingmom]

lol, I wanted to say something close to that, but decided to keep my mouth closed....as I am new and it likely would not have been taken well. I love your outspokeness lbm and always chuckle when reading your posts. You have a great sense of haha!!
why keep your mouth shut? people either like ya or they dont..life goes on anyways!:)

[CoffeCanSlayer]

Lol, same problem. Used to be 330lbs FAT ROLLING BALL. Everytime I walk by Hollister or Abercrombie I want to go on a prep stomping rampage.

It's all good. You are sexy OP.

[gamebred26]

sexy is def a state of mind..and you need to have a certain swagger about you. but also know your body type etc. like nothing worse than seeing an older women wearing what the young girls are wearing and not pulling it off.

or seeing a chick out of shape or with old tan leathery skin and legs looking like they been though a few hail storms ,rocking the booty shorts and sports bra at the gym. there is a limit.

[danap3681]

sexy is def a state of mind..and you need to have a certain swagger about you. but also know your body type etc. like nothing worse than seeing an older women wearing what the young girls are wearing and not pulling it off.

or seeing a chick out of shape or with old tan leathery skin and legs looking like they been though a few hail storms ,rocking the booty shorts and sports bra at the gym. there is a limit.

I see alot of women wandering around in bikinis who definitely should not be but hey, if she feels she is rocking it...let her rock on! In a case like that she is comfortable enough to wear it... who am I to judge! :)

[gamebred26]

not about judging. just be considerate to other people.

[latebloomingmom]

sexy is def a state of mind..and you need to have a certain swagger about you. but also know your body type etc. like nothing worse than seeing an older women wearing what the young girls are wearing and not pulling it off.

or seeing a chick out of shape or with old tan leathery skin and legs looking like they been though a few hail storms ,rocking the booty shorts and sports bra at the gym. there is a limit.
older women being older then you?
younger styles meaning what?

[gamebred26]

older women being older then you?
younger styles meaning what?

if they are "older" that means yes a number higher than 34. but in this context i'd say even below my age there are prob some women who that statement may apply to.

example? black stretch pants and uggs. that's prob one i see some old "cougars" trying to pull off. not many can. if i can see the granny panty lines and cellulite through the spandex...you shouldnt be rocking.

you want more ? i can do this all day.

[CoffeCanSlayer]

older women being older then you?
younger styles meaning what?

OH come on now........

30's and older, rocking anything like low cut jeans, high thongs, abercrombie shirt..... You know the type.

[latebloomingmom]

if they are "older" that means yes a number higher than 34. but in this context i'd say even below my age there are prob some women who that statement may apply to.

example? black stretch pants and uggs. that's prob one i see some old "cougars" trying to pull off. not many can. if i can see the granny panty lines and cellulite through the spandex...you shouldnt be rocking.

you want more ? i can do this all day.
you are under the assumption that when a woman shops for clothes
she does so, with the idea in her head to only buy clothes that would be pleasing to a man?

[gamebred26]

OH come on now........

30's and older, rocking anything like low cut jeans, high thongs, abercrombie shirt..... You know the type.

yup..skinny jeans..stretch pants..sports bras...booty shorts...

[latebloomingmom]

golly get out the tent dresses cause here come the over 35's...
well why dont ya make us a list then sporto..
all the clothes that women over 35 are "allowed' to where..

[gamebred26]

you are under the assumption that when a woman shops for clothes
she does so, with the idea in her head to only buy clothes that would be pleasing to a man?

nope. thats what you think i think...wrong.

you buy clothes to look good for your peers and men...lol. women pick other women apart way more than a man would...lol.

ive seen the sexiest baddest girls in sweat pants and t-shirts. clothes dont make the women...but a woman can sure ruin some outfits!

[gamebred26]

golly get out the tent dresses cause here come the over 35's...
well why dont ya make us a list then sporto..
all the clothes that women over 35 are "allowed' to where..

it's more body type..not age. ive seen some 20 year old pigs...and some 40 year old bombshells. but i would say as age goes up that tends to decreas.

[latebloomingmom]

it's more body type..not age. ive seen some 20 year old pigs...and some 40 year old bombshells. but i would say as age goes up that tends to decreas.
ahhh so it's a weight issue or lack of what? muscle tone?

[gamebred26]

ahhh so it's a weight issue or lack of what? muscle tone?

weight could be it..flabby ass..cellulite..boobs by your belly button...loose skin..stretch marks..

leathery skin still hitting the tanning salon YUCK!..

[latebloomingmom]

weight could be it..flabby ass..cellulite..boobs by your belly button...loose skin..stretch marks..

leathery skin still hitting the tanning salon YUCK!..
holy crap how old are these women you are looking at??
you dont even live in Florida either..
umm...loose skin, stretch marks, saggy boobz sounds like the mommy syndrome to me..some of that , I do mean , some
can be improved with exercise..some needs a doctor's help..

[gamebred26]

holy crap how old are these women you are looking at??
you dont even live in Florida either..
umm...loose skin, stretch marks, saggy boobz sounds like the mommy syndrome to me..some of that , I do mean , some
can be improved with exercise..some needs a doctor's help..

come to my gym at 6:30 am lol..

[whatevergirl]

lol @ granny panty lines

:D

[danap3681]

yup..skinny jeans..stretch pants..sports bras...booty shorts...

I am 38 and I do wear low rise jeans just because they fit my body better, a big "aw hell naw" to the high thongs because that is just nasty and inappropriate for anyone. Almost like an advertisement that you have a pair of thongs on! I prefer the low rise v-string so no one mine don't stick out of the back of my low rise jeans.

As for booty shorts... I wear them only while doing yard work :) (I don't have close neighbors so no one sees me)

I don't wear these to look or try to be younger.

[themyth2009]

I see alot of women wandering around in bikinis who definitely should not be but hey, if she feels she is rocking it...let her rock on! In a case like that she is comfortable enough to wear it... who am I to judge! :)

So in her mind if she is rockin it she is sexy...from the theme of this thread.....ye all have fallen in hit your heads.

With that said who cares what another person wears anyway. Is she looks good could care less what kind of clothes she has on. Although I prefer...slutty.

[danap3681]

So in her mind if she is rockin it she is sexy...from the theme of this thread.....ye all have fallen in hit your heads.

With that said who cares what another person wears anyway. Is she looks good could care less what kind of clothes she has on. Although I prefer...slutty.

I may not see her as sexy but she may feel like she is and someone else may find her sexy!

I think what the guys were getting at is some women attempt to dress in what most people consider clothing for younger women or girls even because they think it makes them sexy and look younger. I dress appropriate for where I am going and I am not ashamed to say I purchase some of my clothing from the juniors section. Hell if it is a cute top that I like I don't give a sh*t what department it is in. I don't run around with my ass hanging out for everyone to see and my boobs are not popping out of the top of my bra. I think some women just cross the line and end up looking "trashy"!

[latebloomingmom]

So in her mind if she is rockin it she is sexy...from the theme of this thread.....ye all have fallen in hit your heads.

With that said who cares what another person wears anyway. Is she looks good could care less what kind of clothes she has on. Although I prefer...slutty.
slutty? what a shocker:rolleyes:


so what you are sayin is that it really does NOT matter what a woman thinks of herself..just what others think of her that really counts?

It's all really about what? distorted body image?
some think they look horrible and really dont?
some think they look smoking hot and really dont?

[themyth2009]

slutty? what a shocker:rolleyes:


so what you are sayin is that it really does NOT matter what a woman thinks of herself..just what others think of her that really counts?

It's all really about what? distorted body image?
some think they look horrible and really dont?
some think they look smoking hot and really dont?

What you are saying is all that matters is a state of mind and that is reality for the rest of the world? So if I think I am a massive muscular guy that makes it so. I am sure someone will find me massive and muscular so it makes it so. Massive and muscular is now a state of mind. I guess we can say this about anything.

I think same is true for men and women so dont make this about women.

[itsagoodday]

Re: age appropriate clothing. I dunno, I'd rather see a fat old lady wearing a younger woman's clothing, than a 7-year-old wearing booty shorts with the word JUICY written across the ass. Which I saw at the grocery store the other day. And had to resist the urge to punch her mother.

[danap3681]

Re: age appropriate clothing. I dunno, I'd rather see a fat old lady wearing a younger woman's clothing, than a 7-year-old wearing booty shorts with the word JUICY written across the ass. Which I saw at the grocery store the other day. And had to resist the urge to punch her mother.

Now that is just something I think is WRONG! My mother would never have bought such clothing for us as young girls. Even after I started buying my own clothing she still had a say in what I left the house in. I never would have tried to wear something she wouldn't have agreed with. She would have knocked me out then burned the clothes! I am glad I have a son!

[gwnorth]

So back to the state-of-mind-thing:

If you had 2 equally attractive women, one who felt she was sexy and one who did not, would there be an appreciable difference in how others perceived them? Would their feelings towards their level of sexual attractiveness not be reflected in their clothing choices, their behaviour, and even in the way they moved? Let's move this even to the next level. What if you had two women of average attractiveness, would others perceive the woman who viewed herself as sexy to be in fact, more attractive? Would this also influence how other people interacted with them and modify the behaviours of viewers towards them?

[danap3681]

Some days I feel sexy and others I don't. I may feel hot one day in my jeans and wife beater more so than in a dress and heels. Just depends on how I feel. It has to do with how I feel on the inside about me not what clothing I have on.

[themyth2009]

So back to the state-of-mind-thing:

If you had 2 equally attractive women, one who felt she was sexy and one who did not, would there be an appreciable difference in how others perceived them? Would their feelings towards their level of sexual attractiveness not be reflected in their clothing choices, their behaviour, and even in the way they moved? Let's move this even to the next level. What if you had two women of average attractiveness, would others perceive the woman who viewed herself as sexy to be in fact, more attractive? Would this also influence how other people interacted with them and modify the behaviours of viewers towards them?

Now you are moving from mind to actions. Dressing better yeah I am sure that could make a big difference. Behavior could also help. I prefer women to have a really good sense of humor, who are kind and smart. If I think someone is not a good person I lose interest instantly.

It can work against you to. People could think trying to hard, you think you are great etc.

I would prefer a 6 looks with a great personality then an 8 that is a horrible person. The 6 would be more attractive to me.

[norinicole]

Some days I feel sexy and others I don't. I may feel hot one day in my jeans and wife beater more so than in a dress and heels. Just depends on how I feel. It has to do with how I feel on the inside about me not what clothing I have on.

This.

Great thread OP.

[Rowyn]

example? black stretch pants and uggs. that's prob one i see some old "cougars" trying to pull off. not many can. if i can see the granny panty lines and cellulite through the spandex...you shouldnt be rocking.

I just spent the day at a local water park. Loads of very scary, spilling out flesh. And MANY of them were young women and girls. It doesn't matter WHAT your age, if you can see cellulite and such in the clothing you are wearing, don't wear it. So you are 24, does that automatically mean you can/should wear clothes in which the extreme squeezing causes the girth of the muffin top to exceed the circumference of the butt? So I am 44 but in shape, that means I am doomed to wear a mom-tankini?

I wear yoga pants all the time:p, so there. Uggs are ugly, no matter who the wearer is. Aside from a model of course. I do agree there are some things that are clearly more or less age appropriate, but if I want to wear Miss Vee jeans with the bling for going out and I look good, then I am wearing them!


So back to the state-of-mind-thing:

If you had 2 equally attractive women, one who felt she was sexy and one who did not, would there be an appreciable difference in how others perceived them? Would their feelings towards their level of sexual attractiveness not be reflected in their clothing choices, their behaviour, and even in the way they moved? Let's move this even to the next level. What if you had two women of average attractiveness, would others perceive the woman who viewed herself as sexy to be in fact, more attractive? Would this also influence how other people interacted with them and modify the behaviours of viewers towards them?

Yes, exactly! State of mind indicating how you feel about yourself which spills over into your dress/personality/behavior.

[danap3681]

Now you are moving from mind to actions. Dressing better yeah I am sure that could make a big difference. Behavior could also help. I prefer women to have a really good sense of humor, who are kind and smart. If I think someone is not a good person I lose interest instantly.

It can work against you to. People could think trying to hard, you think you are great etc.

I would prefer a 6 looks with a great personality then an 8 that is a horrible person. The 6 would be more attractive to me.

I had a guy tell me not long ago one of the things that attracted him to me the most was that I was myself and didn't try to be someone I am not. Oh and my charming personality and shi*ty disposition :) Kidding! I am just comfortable in my own skin and OP you should be as well.

[danap3681]

I just spent the day at a local water park. Loads of very scary, spilling out flesh. And MANY of them were young women and girls. It doesn't matter WHAT your age, if you can see cellulite and such in the clothing you are wearing, don't wear it. So you are 24, does that automatically mean you can/should wear clothes in which the extreme squeezing causes the girth of the muffin top to exceed the circumference of the butt? So I am 44 but in shape, that means I am doomed to wear a mom-tankini?

I wear yoga pants all the time:p, so there. Uggs are ugly, no matter who the wearer is. Aside from a model of course. I do agree there are some things that are clearly more or less age appropriate, but if I want to wear Miss Vee jeans with the bling for going out and I look good, then I am wearing them!



Yes, exactly! State of mind indicating how you feel about yourself which spills over into your dress/personality/behavior.

Guilty! I love my yoga pants too! :)

[themyth2009]

I had a guy tell me not long ago one of the things that attracted him to me the most was that I was myself and didn't try to be someone I am not. Oh and my charming personality and shi*ty disposition :) Kidding! I am just comfortable in my own skin and OP you should be as well.

You know what I think that is one of the most attractive things about my current girl friend.

[whatevergirl]

What you are saying is all that matters is a state of mind and that is reality for the rest of the world? So if I think I am a massive muscular guy that makes it so. I am sure someone will find me massive and muscular so it makes it so. Massive and muscular is now a state of mind. I guess we can say this about anything.

I think same is true for men and women so dont make this about women.

I think the difference between what u describe here, and the word 'sexy,' is that sexy isn't really 'tangible.' One is either muscular or not. Over weight or not. Those are tangibles, and can be seen, by anyone. Someone viewing someone who is a bean pole, isn't going to say...wow, what a muscular guy! And doubtful the person himself would call himself, muscular. Those are tangibles. Sexiness isn't a tangible, necessarily. Which is why someone could easily find Woody Allen...'sexy.' He might not be muscular, or attractive to what 'the world' may think, but his personality, his mind, etc...many woman might find him very sexy. You see? Or am I a not making a lick of sense? :D

And all that being said. I think the gist still of this thread, is how we shouldn't let the views of others TAINT the view of ourselves. Obviously, like for example...if you've ever watched American Idol. Some of those people honestly cannot sing. They can think in their mind...they're a great singer, but they're not. That's a tangible. I have ears. You have ears. But, sexiness...is different. It's not just about how someone looks to a large group of people. Ray Charles was blind. Certainly, he found women he was with, to be sexy. So, sexiness to me. Is not a tangible.

But, I'll say this. I don't walk around saying...dayum, I'm sexy. :D I am merely saying, that the way one views him/herself, shouldn't be tainted by others' views. Like the example I give of my friend if you scroll back. She dyes her hair to suit the man she's dating. I mean...that to me, shows that only the view of a man, is what gives her the view of herself.

To me, that's more to the point of the thread...

[themyth2009]

I think the difference between what u describe here, and the word 'sexy,' is that sexy isn't really 'tangible.' One is either muscular or not. Over weight or not. Those are tangibles, and can be seen, by anyone. Someone viewing someone who is a bean pole, isn't going to say...wow, what a muscular guy! And doubtful the person himself would call himself, muscular. Those are tangibles. Sexiness isn't a tangible, necessarily. Which is why someone could easily find Woody Allen...'sexy.' He might not be muscular, or attractive to what 'the world' may think, but his personality, his mind, etc...many woman might find him very sexy. You see? Or am I a not making a lick of sense? :D

And all that being said. I think the gist still of this thread, is how we shouldn't let the views of others TAINT the view of ourselves. Obviously, like for example...if you've ever watched American Idol. Some of those people honestly cannot sing. They can think in their mind...they're a great singer, but they're not. That's a tangible. I have ears. You have ears. But, sexiness...is different. It's not just about how someone looks to a large group of people. Ray Charles was blind. Certainly, he found women he was with, to be sexy. So, sexiness to me. Is not a tangible.

But, I'll say this. I don't walk around saying...dayum, I'm sexy. :D I am merely saying, that the way one views him/herself, shouldn't be tainted by others' views. Like the example I give of my friend if you scroll back. She dyes her hair to suit the man she's dating. I mean...that to me, shows that only the view of a man, is what gives her the view of herself.

To me, that's more to the point of the thread...

What is muscular to some might not be to others....same as sexy. IMO. All subjective not objective.

[whatevergirl]

What is muscular to some might not be to others....same as sexy. IMO. All subjective not objective.

the more i know you, the more you have become a real hair splitter! :D

[UnaChispita]

What is muscular to some might not be to others....same as sexy. IMO. All subjective not objective.

I gotta side with Whatevergirl on this one. Muscularity is more quantifiable. How many inches around are your biceps, Myth2009? (Nice btw). Is there definition in your abs? (Heck-to-the-yeah! :) As far as I can tell (and I don't claim to be any sort of expert), If muscularity was not measurable then there wouldn't be body building competitions, right?

Back to the original question--a woman who feels sexy carries herself in a certain way, so state of mind does play a role. If I feel good, carry myself in a certain way and walk into a room, you can believe the fellas are a-watchin'. :)

[latebloomingmom]

What you are saying is all that matters is a state of mind and that is reality for the rest of the world? So if I think I am a massive muscular guy that makes it so. I am sure someone will find me massive and muscular so it makes it so. Massive and muscular is now a state of mind. I guess we can say this about anything.

I think same is true for men and women so dont make this about women.
I make this about women because this is a thread in the fem misc posted by an OP that is a female.
No, I am NOT saying that state of mind is all that matters but it DOES play a role in how you carry yourself and your confidence in your own skin.
State of mind does not make you thin or muscular. Hard work does.
if the point you are trying to make is that a woman who is heavy set cannot wish herself thin just by dressing younger or sexy or like the thin girls do..and by having lots of confidence..then yes, I would say that is a valid point.

[latebloomingmom]

So back to the state-of-mind-thing:

If you had 2 equally attractive women, one who felt she was sexy and one who did not, would there be an appreciable difference in how others perceived them? Would their feelings towards their level of sexual attractiveness not be reflected in their clothing choices, their behaviour, and even in the way they moved? Let's move this even to the next level. What if you had two women of average attractiveness, would others perceive the woman who viewed herself as sexy to be in fact, more attractive? Would this also influence how other people interacted with them and modify the behaviours of viewers towards them?You better believe it does sister!:)

[themyth2009]

the more i know you, the more you have become a real hair splitter! :D

Weg I am becoming a real curmudgeon in my old age. :)


I gotta side with Whatevergirl on this one. Muscularity is more quantifiable. How many inches around are your biceps, Myth2009? (Nice btw). Is there definition in your abs? (Heck-to-the-yeah! :) As far as I can tell (and I don't claim to be any sort of expert), If muscularity was not measurable then there wouldn't be body building competitions, right?

Back to the original question--a woman who feels sexy carries herself in a certain way, so state of mind does play a role. If I feel good, carry myself in a certain way and walk into a room, you can believe the fellas are a-watchin'. :)

Thanks for the compliments.

I believe they also have competitions in the world related to sexiness. Wasn't there even a TV show HOT or NOT? Hmmmmm.....

* Weggers somebody stop me :)

[whatevergirl]

Weg I am becoming a real curmudgeon in my old age. :)

lolz...i'm noticing. :D

you should consider writing a book...'the world according to themyth.' :cool:
never know.
this could be your ticket to fame & fortune.

[themyth2009]

lolz...i'm noticing. :D

you should consider writing a book...'the world according to themyth.' :cool:
never know.
this could be your ticket to fame & fortune.

Garp would be proud.

[latebloomingmom]

lolz...i'm noticing. :D

you should consider writing a book...'the world according to themyth.' :cool:
never know.
this could be your ticket to fame & fortune.ya but wouldnt it be a fairytale or a tall tale..legend?;)

[penny0527]

Sexy is a state of mindz....not physical appearance. I think if there are two equally attractive people where one feels good in their own skin and the other is not at all confident then the person with confidence draws people to them.

Also, I'm 33 and wear low cut jeans!

[rendylee]

Sexy is a state of mindz....not physical appearance. I think if there are two equally attractive people where one feels good in their own skin and the other is not at all confident then the person with confidence draws people to them.


^^^^^^this!!! I was told years ago by a close male friend, that confidence is attractive, and I hold true to this every day !!

[UnaChispita]

Thanks for the compliments.

I believe they also have competitions in the world related to sexiness. Wasn't there even a TV show HOT or NOT? Hmmmmm.....

* Weggers somebody stop me :)

Sorry. I don't watch TV, so that is entirely possible. Is there a sexiest woman alive competition? If so, what are the parameters for judging?

Oh, and you're welcome :)

[themyth2009]

Sorry. I don't watch TV, so that is entirely possible. Is there a sexiest woman alive competition? If so, what are the parameters for judging?

Oh, and you're welcome :)

Yes in magazines. Esquire holds a march madness and last year over 5 million people voted. So I am guessing it dont matter much what the state of mind is for the people being voted on.

It is like the Mr O - subjective.

[whatevergirl]

Yes in magazines. Esquire holds a march madness and last year over 5 million people voted. So I am guessing it dont matter much what the state of mind is for the people being voted on.

It is like the Mr O - subjective.

but that's a controlled contest. with a finite group of people that are being 'judged.'
different than what the OP is getting at.
this isn't really you say tomato...i say ta-mah-toe

know what i mean, jelly bean? :D

edit to add...the gist is though...that if you were in that contest, and you didn't ''place'' at all...that doesn't mean you are not sexy. still goes to the point where the person entering the contest can still 'feel' sexy...and still not be the winner of THAT contest. oh geesh. you have me splitting hairs, now. :rolleyes:

[UnaChispita]

but that's a controlled contest. with a finite group of people that are being 'judged.'
different than what the OP is getting at.
this isn't really you say tomato...i say ta-mah-toe

My thoughts too. Thanks.

[themyth2009]

My thoughts too. Thanks.

There is a miss nude world contest....is that a controlled contest to? How about Mr Undergraduate? You guys are funny. A body building contest means there is a judgement of muscularity. But looks based pagents dont define any measure of sexy. Pointless discussion is pointless.

[themyth2009]

but that's a controlled contest. with a finite group of people that are being 'judged.'
different than what the OP is getting at.
this isn't really you say tomato...i say ta-mah-toe

know what i mean, jelly bean? :D

edit to add...the gist is though...that if you were in that contest, and you didn't ''place'' at all...that doesn't mean you are not sexy. still goes to the point where the person entering the contest can still 'feel' sexy...and still not be the winner of THAT contest. oh geesh. you have me splitting hairs, now. :rolleyes:

If you want to hold on the fallacy that if you think your are sexy that makes you sexy go ahead. ;)

[whatevergirl]

If you want to hold on the fallacy that if you think your are sexy that makes you sexy go ahead. ;)


be nice. ;)

[UnaChispita]

A body building contest means there is a judgement of muscularity. But looks based pagents dont define any measure of sexy.

Wasn't this my point earlier? That muscularity is measurable and you told me it was "subjective?" I checked out Esquire's sexiest women contest... I will amend my statement and say that beauty is quantifiable--there is an ideal facial symmetry and waist-to-hip-ratio. etc, etc...However, that is still different than a woman's state of mind and how that affects how she carries herself and operates in the world. (AKA sexy).

Myth--haven't you ever been completely captivated by a woman and can't figure out why?? I would argue that that unidentifiable quality is her sexy aura :)

[latebloomingmom]

If you want to hold on the fallacy that if you think your are sexy that makes you sexy go ahead. ;)

I think the point was improving on what ya already got handed..
fixing your hair, make up, wearing good fitting clothes and carrying yourself with confidence..
two equally attractive people in the looks dept can be judged differently according to their charm, charisma cant they?
you getting kinda cranky?

[whatevergirl]

you getting kinda cranky?

hahahaha :D

[themyth2009]

Wasn't this my point earlier? That muscularity is measurable and you told me it was "subjective?" I checked out Esquire's sexiest women contest... I will amend my statement and say that beauty is quantifiable--there is an ideal facial symmetry and waist-to-hip-ratio. etc, etc...However, that is still different than a woman's state of mind and how that affects how she carries herself and operates in the world. (AKA sexy).

Myth--haven't you ever been completely captivated by a woman and can't figure out why?? I would argue that that unidentifiable quality is her sexy aura :)

No but I have been told I am really shallow.

[themyth2009]

I think the point was improving on what ya already got handed..
fixing your hair, make up, wearing good fitting clothes and carrying yourself with confidence..
two equally attractive people in the looks dept can be judged differently according to their charm, charisma cant they?
you getting kinda cranky?

Now changing argument can you make your self more attractive or appealing vs if you think you are sexy you are.

Cranky heck no I find you ladies entertaining. The merry go round lost my actually interest 100 points ago. Now in for the lulz.

[UnaChispita]

I find you ladies entertaining.

And I find you as equally entertaining.

[latebloomingmom]

Now changing argument can you make your self more attractive or appealing vs if you think you are sexy you are.

Cranky heck no I find you ladies entertaining. The merry go round lost my actually interest 100 points ago. Now in for the lulz.
alright then....the arguement is if you think your sexy then you are? true or false?
I vote it is unknown...depends on definition of sexy and on whose opinion is being taken .
in a beauty pagaent it is the judges making the decision.

[themyth2009]

And I find you as equally entertaining.

I live to serve


alright then....the arguement is if you think your sexy then you are? true or false?
I vote it is unknown...depends on definition of sexy and on whose opinion is being taken .
in a beauty pagaent it is the judges making the decision.

Unknow...unless you are me....I workout

[penny0527]

Unknow...unless you are me....I workout

...sexy and I know it....

[danap3681]

...sexy and I know it....

Waited on that... as long as he is not "Redfoo with the big afro"... :) Just wondering if he "wiggles"?

[themyth2009]

Waited on that... as long as he is not "Redfoo with the big afro"... :) Just wondering if he "wiggles"?

Wiggle wiggle wiggle..yeah....wiggle with it.

[penny0527]

Wiggle wiggle wiggle..yeah....wiggle with it.

i only know those two lines. I cant listen long enough to try to understand the rest of the words. it is awful isnt it?

[themyth2009]

i only know those two lines. I cant listen long enough to try to understand the rest of the words. it is awful isnt it?

I think it is pretty funny. But I have issues so.

[danap3681]

I think it is pretty funny. But I have issues so.

I am not ashamed to admit I could sing the entitre song :)

[gwnorth]

Waited on that... as long as he is not "Redfoo with the big afro"... :) Just wondering if he "wiggles"?

Do you think he wears animal print pants?

[penny0527]

I am not ashamed to admit I could sing the entitre song :)

well I was going to make fun but I know the words to Toxic by BS so who am I to judge?

[danap3681]

Do you think he wears animal print pants?

I was more concerned with the speedo while he is trying to tan his cheeks!

[gwnorth]

I was more concerned with the speedo while he is trying to tan his cheeks!

Can he go into the club with no shoes no shirt and still get service?

[themyth2009]

Can he go into the club with no shoes no shirt and still get service?

girl look at that body

[latebloomingmom]

I live to serve



Unknow...unless you are me....I workout
what the h*ll...whatever mr. ego..we all workout:)

[themyth2009]

what the h*ll...whatever mr. ego..we all workout:)

You must be too old to know the song.

[latebloomingmom]

You must be too old to know the song.

Ya I know the song smart *ss I just think it sucks...
thanks for that fuggin insult though

[themyth2009]

Ya I know the song smart *ss I just think it sucks...
thanks for that fuggin insult though

We are essential the same age...and how dare you insult my life theme song.

[whatevergirl]

someone kill this thread. i beg of you. :D

[danap3681]

someone kill this thread. i beg of you. :D

I concur !!!

[whatevergirl]

I concur !!!

woot!

http://www.twcenter.net/forums/images/smilies/emoticons/swordshield9db.gif

[latebloomingmom]

Death to Sexy...wait wut?;)

[mrshester]

I read the first page and was feeling the RAGE! (not srs) Quit hatin' on my peasant blouses! They're the only shirt I can wear and not be seriously self-conscious about my baby belly!LOL ;) And as far as that goes, the style works for me right now and when I'm not worried about my (still shrinking) bellyfat, THAT improves my own self-image, thus making me feel more attractive and that carries on to the outside, KWIM? Hubby appreciates those days :)

[latebloomingmom]

I read the first page and was feeling the RAGE! (not srs) Quit hatin' on my peasant blouses! They're the only shirt I can wear and not be seriously self-conscious about my baby belly!LOL ;) And as far as that goes, the style works for me right now and when I'm not worried about my (still shrinking) bellyfat, THAT improves my own self-image, thus making me feel more attractive and that carries on to the outside, KWIM? Hubby appreciates those days :)
well now you have a good reason to wear them...I am 43...with a large chest..I put one on and look preggers which is not a good look at my age:)

[mrshester]

well now you have a good reason to wear them...I am 43...with a large chest..I put one on and look preggers which is not a good look at my age:)

Oh, I've still got a large chest as well, but you know a little more room in the belly area to save the eyes from having to endure my baby's former home shimmy and shaking is worth it for a little while longer for me, LOL ;) But yeah, it doesn't help when we're well-blessed :) I totally get what you're saying, lol.

[Big_Sky_Guy]

well now you have a good reason to wear them...I am 43...with a large chest..I put one on and look preggers which is not a good look at my age:)

You can stop braggin any time now.....

[mrshester]

You can stop braggin any time now.....

They aren't all they're cracked up to be, trust me, LOL. I'm looking forward to mine shrinking back down with the rest of me!

[danap3681]

They aren't all they're cracked up to be, trust me, LOL. I'm looking forward to mine shrinking back down with the rest of me!
Well I have none! I always tell everyone since I am a twin that my sister and I had to share ours. My non-existent bust line + her non-existent bust line = still ain't got nothin'!

[mrshester]

Well I have none! I always tell everyone since I am a twin that my sister and I had to share ours. My non-existent bust line + her non-existent bust line = still ain't got nothin'!

LOL! Well, look at it this way...by the time I'm 70, if I look like my grandmother did, my "hawt in a sexy bra" bewbies will make nice knee pads for those old people falls I'll have....you won't have to worry about that!LOL I've only had one baby so far and they're already taking a turn for the worst!

[latingurl]

Or alternatively titled "I Still Feel Fat".

We've been having a heat wave here in SW Ontario the past two weeks. Serious summer temperatures, which fortunately seem to have passed and we are back to Spring. With temps suddenly shooting up to the mid 20's (Celcius), I had no bottoms to wear. I had 1 pair of lightweight capris that I bought last spring, which are now at least 2 sizes too big. Yeah me right? So I had to go shopping. What a depressing experience. I hated almost everything I tried on. I'm really hating these 60's inspired Twiggy fashions. I love the look, just not on me. Peg leg cropped pants and peasant blouses don't do anything for me: 1) I'm short 2) I'm curvy 3) I'm short waisted. I left the mall feeling seriously depressed. Here I am a size 6/4 depending on the brand, and I still feel fat. The only thing I bought was new underwear because my bra size has changed quite a bit. Dh was all excited when I told him I'd shopped at Victoria's Secret (never have before), but I think he was dissapointed by my choices. Sorry sweetie, but a brown paper bag would look sexy on the VS models. There isn't anything inherently sexy about VS lingerie. It's what's inside it that is the deciding factor and I don't have a thong worthy but.

What I can't understand is why when I look at something "sexy", I think not for me and yet I see women at the gym in the changeroom, with higher bf% than me, and they're wearing thongs and low rise everything. Why can't I see myself as sexy? Elegant or stylish maybe (though more often frumpy), but not sexy. Either they're all delusional (and not to mention 20 years younger than me), or maybe I'm too realistic. I think I need some rose coloured glasses.

So what do you guys think when you see a woman who doesn't have the ideal figure, wearing something sexy? Does it work as long as they think they're sexy?

Omg i cant believe some one like you does not think they are sexy!!! You look great....all you need to do is visualize yourself as being sexy first....mind over matter :

[latebloomingmom]

You can stop braggin any time now.....
that aint braggin...just a fact:)
which sometimes makes clothes shopping a real pain in the *ss