Abusive/Psychotic relationship, help

[CanardLaque]

I have this female friend whose husband seemed cool in the beginning but after a few years, turned out to be abusive.
According to her , here are the problems:

- He controls everything ( her money, who she sees, when to go out, follows her etc)
- Doesn't want to get a job, refuses to work
- Think everyone is against him, blames everyone.

I really don't know how to help and she seems so helpless too.

Anyone been in this situation before? Any input is appreciated, thank you.

[goodthings]

just be careful your getting a balanced view here, is thiswhat she is telling you or is it what is actually happening? dont be fooled. women really do enjoy the victim role at times.
that said, if you are really concerned and have grounds to believe her, actual evidence, get in touch with some local Domestic abuse agencies and take their advice

[Contribution05]

I have this female friend whose husband seemed cool in the beginning but after a few years, turned out to be abusive.
According to her , here are the problems:

- He controls everything ( her money, who she sees, when to go out, follows her etc)
- Doesn't want to get a job, refuses to work
- Think everyone is against him, blames everyone.

I really don't know how to help and she seems so helpless too.

Anyone been in this situation before? Any input is appreciated, thank you.

And she can't leave him because why?

She chose to marry someone in the first place who refuses to work why?

sounds like a typical girl who falls for "sexy" douc**bag loser and would rather have people now pity her than just walk away from it.

[fapbrah]

Is he holding her hostage at gun point? What's stopping her from leaving? Why are you trying to get involved? Do yo know his side of the story?

Pls respond

[CanardLaque]

That's the question I've always wondered myself " Why don't people just leave their relationship if they're abused?"
Sounds simple right?
It really isn't, it's this whole game and mind control, it's sick.
I take her side of the story because I've seen this guy and I have seen him following her around, calling nonstop. I know he's unemployed and just stays home while she works.

[Contribution05]

lol ya...her husband a jedi? wtf mind control?

More like she enjoys you being an emotional tampon of attention

[milkbrah]

sounds like the guy is a miscer

[CanardLaque]

lol ya...her husband a jedi? wtf mind control?

More like she enjoys you being an emotional tampon of attention

Just like you, I didn't know anything about "abusive relationship", I used to say the same thing too.
" girls are dumb whore attention seeker , too stupid to make their own choices,etc " and the list goes on.

once you 're involved in it, you realize it's deeper than that, seems like the guy is also schizophrenic/extreme paranoia.

THere are millions in abusive relationships and yeah we can say they're just a bunch of weaklings and deserve to be pathetic,
or you can try to understand and help. Thanks for the input.

[Contribution05]

Just like you, I didn't know anything about "abusive relationship", I used to say the same thing too.
" girls are dumb whore attention seeker , too stupid to make their own choices,etc " and the list goes on.

once you 're involved in it, you realize it's deeper than that, seems like the guy is also schizophrenic/extreme paranoia.

THere are millions in abusive relationships and yeah we can say they're just a bunch of weaklings and deserve to be pathetic,
or you can try to understand and help. Thanks for the input.

Oh i know plenty of girls in messed up relationships. You know what i have never seen? a girl leave a guy because of advice or help someone gave or offered them. She will do it on her own time or not at all.

[RandomMisc]

Sure, it's deeper than that... but there is still nothing you can do. Can't help someone who doesn't want to help herself. She's not telling you because she wants a solution; she's telling you because she wants a pity party. Don't play that game.

[Boffothe]

Just like you, I didn't know anything about "abusive relationship", I used to say the same thing too.
" girls are dumb whore attention seeker , too stupid to make their own choices,etc " and the list goes on.

once you 're involved in it, you realize it's deeper than that, seems like the guy is also schizophrenic/extreme paranoia.

THere are millions in abusive relationships and yeah we can say they're just a bunch of weaklings and deserve to be pathetic,
or you can try to understand and help. Thanks for the input.this is exactly what she is though, weak and pathetic. Does she have kids with this guy and is she financially unable to leave? if not, then it must be that she's too weak mentally or that she likes the feeling of being the "damsel in distress" and the constant drama and strife. Doesn't mean she's a bad person, doesn't mean she's an attention whore, but definitely means she's weak.

[kurent]

Have a good friend in a similar situation. Married 15 years, two kids, credit on the house. The guy is just slowly loosing it after loosing his good job 2 years ago. He works now but the job is not as good. She tells me he is controlling, trying to turn the kids against her "mommy is breaking up this family", threatens her that he will ruin her financially and mentally if she files for divorce, that something will happen to her and he will have an alibi, hits her in a way that it hurts but doesn't leave markings, locks her into rooms, locks her outside the house, just slowly sucking the life out of her playing mind games, says that if she leaves he will quit his job and basically watch TV all day and let the bills pile up which she will need to pay. Cannot evict him, he is co-owner of the house, if she moves he will pile on a huge debt on the house. I'm afraid this guy is thinking spending all his money and then committing suicide.

Was having second thoughts about it too, but I believe her because I know him too and I know the kids. He has a creepy aura around him, srs, saw it the first day I met him, was thinking hope this creep leaves oh that is your husband nice to met him... She is one of those good and fair persons who are so good and fair they are stupid. She is a hard nut also, if he pushes too far she has the smarts to ruin him forever, but doesn't want to. I'm just afraid until then he will ruin her mentally. She is hard ass, but fair, will call out her own stupid **** in a group of friends, probably hard to live with, but with her you and your kids and your house are being taken care of. Basically the woman the misc fantasises about, but she kinda spoiled her husband and he is taking her for granted while he slowly got lazy. I know that feel when you don't get what you give.

Situations like these are never simple!

[HeBrewHammah]

here's all the help you need:



Not your relationship, so stay out of it. You shouldn't be thinking about HOW to help her...she's in that situation because she chose to be. she wants your sympathy for her mistake.








I have none. Not my chair, not my problem.