How can I build confidence?

[BrutalEnfilade]

I've approached working out as a way to build self confidence, but what else can I do? I'm also a little shy and talk quietly so any tips on that would help. I think my talking softly is natural but I also think it may be allergies. Any ideas/tips?

[RCormier72]

The best way to build confidence is usually to put yourself in awkward (not embarrassing) situations purposely. Take public speaking as an example. If you want to be a better public speaker, you should start by talking to small groups of people on subjects you're adept at. You can work your way up to larger groups of people and topics you're less adept with eventually.

It all takes work, but as you work further and further out of your comfort zone, your comfort zone will expand and you'll gain confidence.

Also don't get discouraged. Look back on the positive parts of every situation and don't dwell on the negative. Sometimes it's best to have a short memory in some aspects of life. Something else to think of - some of the most successful people in the world have done things worty of epic ridicule. Donald Trump for example immediately comes to mind. He is very successful, very wealthy, very charismatic, but man has he ever done some things that would destroy the confidence of any man. Chances are you'll never do anything that bad - which is always something to look forward to.

[Skyline89]

Face your fears. Dont be afraid to fail. Get as much experience as you can.
You are only 15 and will develop it naturally as you age but dont just sit back and expect it. Take lots of action in life. Always be positive. People are Nice.

[ReedT]

Being shy in general comes from uncertainty in yourself. Bodybuilding is a great way to raise your confidence as it lets you build yourself physically so you know for sure what you are and aren't capable of.

You're speaking softly may come from the fact that you may not feel like you know what you should say or conviction in what you are talking about. You just don't feel like you are standing solidly on whatever it is your are talking about. If you tend to agree with whatever anyone is saying at any given time, then you need to check yourself and remember that you don't need to be constantly lead in conversations.

All in all, the best thing I can tell you is that you need to figure out what your convictions are and then stick to them. Granted, you're 15, this is a time when alot of people are finding out just what those convictions are so give yourself time. Just remember: uncertain hearts stand upon shifting sand.

[BrutalEnfilade]

Thanks for all of the help guys. Reps will be going out. Definitely going to take all of your advice.

[jmg1013]

one thing you gotta do is make yourself do things, a lot of times you wont want to do things because you feel like you cant, youll mess up, or youll make yourself look dumb but dont worry about it JUST DO IT
and if you do mess up or something just laugh it off

remember people are NICE, i use to practically fear people because i thought they would be mean to me but after a while i realized people are NICE, some of them will try to find your insecurities and be mean to you for them but in all reality they are just insecure and once again laugh it off and find theyre insecurities and do the same to them ( but dont do it to people who dont do it to you)


as for your voice your probably just nervous and that might change if not try some allergy medicine

lifting weights will help a lot i would say that is what helped me the most cuz i use to be EXTREMELY weak then once i started lifting people were always complimenting me on how big my arms were and asking me to flex... a little less now since theyre use to me being tough just the occasional girl asking me to flex and wanting to feel my arm.....and even without the complements it still boosts confidence

and whenever you do mess up on something or do something stupid like trip down a flight of stairs just laugh it off cuz to other people it is funny but they arent really laughing at you theyre just laughing cuz they saw something just funny and if you act all mad or sad then they will see you as insecure

overall, realize that you have just the same rights as them, people are NICE, and lift weights a lot and get really strong

[boyharvey]

I agree with they said. I also had confidence issues before, I took public speaking in high school and it was the best thing that could have happened to me. Nothing like being the person at the front of a room with 20-30 looking right at you. As you get older being shy can hinder you. People respond to outgoing people.

I think working out will help you, with confidence. For me seeing that I can change my body and improve myself makes me feel good.

[neuropeptides]

join clubs and activities that you enjoy and feel good about. feeling like you are good at something and apart of something bigger than yourself boosts your confidence and self worth. socializing with like minded people/going for the same goals would probably be a safe, nonthreatening way to practice socializing and becomming more comfortable people as a whole.

[SophieM]

join clubs and activities that you enjoy and feel good about. feeling like you are good at something and apart of something bigger than yourself boosts your confidence and self worth. socializing with like minded people/going for the same goals would probably be a safe, nonthreatening way to practice socializing and becomming more comfortable people as a whole.

This is what I was going to say. I too have self confidence issues. I find that doing things I am good at, or finding new things I am good at, seems to help. It hasn't helped 100%, but it helps a little.

[JMath]

Like a lot of people seem to be saying; get out of your comfort zone. A few things I recommend are to adopt a "yes" policy. Anytime someone invites you to go somewhere (especially if it's somewhere that you'll meet new people) say YES! Even if it's something that isn't really your thing. If a friend wants to invite you to some ridiculous anime convention, say yes!

I would also recommend that you make it a point to talk to strangers. Contrary to what momma always said, talking to strangers is a good thing. It definitely builds your confidence with approaching women, and makes you better at holding conversations. So get out there and talk to people at the grocery store, the mall, anywhere you are. Even if it's just a simple "hi".

[PopOverride]

Face your fears. Dont be afraid to fail. Get as much experience as you can.
You are only 15 and will develop it naturally as you age but dont just sit back and expect it. Take lots of action in life. Always be positive. People are Nice.

Something like this, I started by forcing myself to say and do what I wanted, where as I formerly would have been too embarrassed or scared of being judged. Eventually that part of me wasn't something I had to force out- it starts coming out on it's own.

You realize you've taken life way too seriously and people will be attracted to this.

This is an extremely simplified version of how I "cured" my depression, yes diagnosed.

[stilessl]

Get plenty of sleep, and maybe have a little caffeine before certain social situations. It’s important to feel energized when socializing with people. Also make a conscious effort to listen to people and be excited about their interests. Once you see the reactions people get when they realize you give a sh*t (even if you don’t), it will help your confidence quite a bit. Their interactions with you will most likely be more positive and involved. Realizing this was huge in my social development. Make most conversations with new people about them. It takes some pressure off you, and people love to talk about themselves (especially women).

[Classty]

Make most conversations with new people about them. It takes some pressure off you, and people love to talk about themselves (especially women).

Good advice man I used to have a lot of trouble carrying conversations but then I started asking others about themselves and conversations seem to flow a lot easier now. This startegy is really helpful and underrated for anyone who is kind of socially awkward.

[namesarehard]

Learn to project your voice at all times. It gives other people the impression that you are sure of yourself and it is also attracts the bishes.

[Jeshi]

I am definitely shy / unconfident in some situations. Or most. It makes me anxious and really holds me back in life.

For example somethings I have trouble with are:
- anything fast
- driving
- rollercoasters
- rockwall climbing
- trying new things
- canoeing

Sooo I am learning to drive, and **** that is scary. But when I succeed I am so proud and happy that it boosts my confidence. I have decided to try canoeing and rockwall climbing because they also scare me silly. And I want to play laser tag because that is something new and exciting. By doing all these, I will feel proud and get some confidence!

Until I do have lots of confidence, I'ma fake it ;) and pretend I do lol. If you are successful people will think you are confident and not know any different.

[Zaneseed]

I've approached working out as a way to build self confidence, but what else can I do? I'm also a little shy and talk quietly so any tips on that would help. I think my talking softly is natural but I also think it may be allergies. Any ideas/tips?

As it's been said before my friend, find out what scares the sh!t out of you and do it.

I was in the same boat for a long time, I was lifting but I'm just an introverted person, I have a very small circle of friends, I like to be left alone sometimes and be by myself.

Consequently, my social skills sucked balls, so I performed a social experiment where I would go out (whether with friends to a club, bar, soccer game, bodybuilding show, camping, etc.) and just TALK to people, girls especially.

I failed hard a few times cuz I didn't have anything that I wanted to say to them, but after a couple of fails (and lots of lulz) I could start a convo with nearly anybody and maintain it. People love to talk about themselves, so ask them about themselves and they'll jabber on forever.

Anyway, I also made a POF account so that I could talk to people and meet other types of people that I wouldn't meet around my area. I got hits back, and girls wanted to meet up, so my social experiment was successful!

My point is, get out of your comfort zone. We get stuck in a routine of doing the same thing every day, talking to the same people, hanging with the same friends, that the very idea of something different is scary to some people. It definitely scared the crap outta me.

But if you want to improve yourself, you have to make yourself uncomfortable and make yourself adapt. Just like in the gym, you wouldn't grow if you squatted 1 plate a side just because it was easy and you knew you could do it.

Take the risk, try something outrageous and you never know what will happen :)