You Lift Like A Girl - My Journey With SS

[WithTheFight]

I have never had a good relationship with my body and have set about "improving" it in the most extreme ways. Any weightloss in the past has been through unhealthy means (bulimia) and has therefore been unsustainable. I finally feel I am ready to change once and for all and this is what this journal will cover.

Well thats quite enough wallowing in the past! To the future! I have just started Starting Strength (this is my second week) but instead of power cleans I have subbed in rows as I have studied the power clean and there is no way I will be able to get that form down by myself. I await the "dont mess with the program" backlash lol.

Cardio wise I am going to bodycombat class 2-3 times a week and running on the other two non weight days. I also walk to the gym so thats a three mile round trip and I do yoga once a week :)

My workout schedule looks liek this:

Mon - Weights + yoga
Tue - Running
Wed - Weights
Thur - Bodycombat
Fri - Bodycombat + weights
Sat - Run/rest
Sun - Bodycombat

Starting Stats

Squat - 42.5kg
Bench - 30kg
Deadlift - 40kg
OHP - 25kg
Rows - 35kg

Nutrition

Trying to hit 1500cal a day and relaxing that to 2000 on Saturday just to keep me sane. Macro wise I'm aiming for 140g protein, 100g carb and 45g fat each day.

Supplements

CLA - 3200mg
L-Carnitine - 1000mg
Cod Liver Oil on days when Im not eating fish

GOALS

Of course want to lose weight and look good but ultimately I want to be fit. My dream would be to become a bodycombat instructor - its what kickstarted my interest in fitness and I LOVE it. I would also like to be able to squat my bodyweight just for the lols.

Alright lets do this!

[WithTheFight]

DAY 10

Went to the gym where I did the following:

Squat - 45kg 3x5
Bench - 32kg 3x5
Deadlift - 45kg 1x5

Happy enough with Squat and Deadlift but I have major issues with my bench. Its really hard to judge but I think my form was WAY off. I cant seem to steadily raise or lower the bar and I think my wrists take too much of the tension. Its hard to judge because I dont have a mirror or anything but I can just feel something isnt right. Also when i raise the bar sometimes it clunks into the part where the bar is held.... Even when its just me and the open bar I just cant get the movement down! Frustration.

Calories - 1522 protein - 122g, carb 100g, 63g fat

Need to stop the nuts. Nuts are the undoing of me. Peanut butter why do you seduce me so?

[WithTheFight]

DAY 11

BODYCOMBAT. Just came back from it, such a great class, endorphins are pumping. Track 2 had thee best combo - decoy, upper, upper, hit, roundhouse - SO. DAMN. GOOD. Other than that I had a little jaunt uptown looking/pleading for jobs and jogged to and from the gym. In other words I cardioed it up today and consequently my calves and shoulders are feeling it. Going to get up early tomorrow hit the gym and do another SS workout then go job hunting oncemore.

Nutrition

1307cal - 136g protein, 106g carbs, 37g fat

If only every cutting day nutrition was like this! Going to up my protein tomorrow. MOAR protein.

[WithTheFight]

DAY 12

Its Friday, Friday gotta get down on Friday, looking forward to the weekend, weekend. Well its Friday which is weigh in day so I weighed myself and I am down 0.5lbs LOL. I was not loling. I had been good with my diet so I was confused... Still its going in the right way!

Even so it made me question things. I do a moderate amount of cardio. Reading the posts on the fatloss boards cardio is not really reccommended for this goal. But then I read posts saying its all about calories in calories out. Because I have a lot to lose I figured cardio would have some role in my fitness regime but I dont want it to hurt my fat loss. I dont do cardio to burn off if I overeat or so I can eat more I do it because I love it for the way it makes me feel. Not sure where to go from here really.

WORKOUT

Squat

5x 20kg
4x 30kg
5x 40kg
3x 50kg - bar was slipping of my traps due to me nto squeexing shoulders
4x 50kg - same thing
5x 50kg - finally realised what I was doing wrong and nailed it

OHP

I have no idea what weight I used because someone was using the olympic bar at the time so I picked up this other bar that I had never seen before which looked exactly the same but it was light in comparison to the standard bar!

Rows

Again cant really calculate cause I dont know how much that mystery bar weighs! But I went really heavy so either way I got a work out... I guess..

NUTRITION

CALS 1,600, FAT - 62.6, CARB 137.4, PROTEIN 127.7

Happy with that considering there was a moment where a binge was iminent but I pulled it back from the brink hence the high carbs...

[WithTheFight]

DAY 13

Saturday. Felt low today. I seem to get this way anytime I dont have any sort of planned exercise. I had a mini binge - 400cal over maintanence the frustrating thing is I didnt even binge on "forbidden" food! It was all yogurt and peanut butter! I think that I am incapable of giving myself food "treats". Whenever I eat a piece of chocolate or whatever I just feel so paranoid like someone is going to appear from no where and smack it out of my hand and say "no choccy for you, your cutting". I have been brainwashed by the eating clean collective and I think it is what is potentially hindering my progress. Im going to start building daily treats into my week and NOT feel guilty. Im not talking about eating a tub of ice cream everyday but just a square of chocolate every now and then. Basically im shunning the eating clean collective for the if it fits your macros crew - its a new mindset for me.

NUTRITION

2400cal no idea about macros

DAY 14

Bodycombat first thing which was epic as always - did the same track 2 which I love - happiness. Also did a three mile walk and ran about after my two little cousins! Simply stunning weather wise, beautiful day.

NUTRITION

Compensating for yesterday with - 1416cal, 139g protein, 75g fat, 111g crab

DAY 15

Didnt manage to get a workout in due to non stop lunches/coffees with friends I hadnt seen in ages! Only exercise I got was going window shopping around town so thats about 5 miles walking in total. Just means my body gets one more day of rest before I pump the iron hard tomorrow! I missed you SS!

NUTRITION

1545cal - 137g protein, 164g carb, 41g fat - rest of week will have to be low carb. I need more cals for fat and protein!

[hieronymous]

Good luck. You may want to consider upping your calories. You are doing a lot of work and you may find that is way too low to stick with for the long haul.

[WithTheFight]

hey hieronymous thanks for your input and luck! I think I might up my cals I am finding it so hard to get enough protein within the cal limit I gave myself. Im going to see what the scale says on Friday though and workout what to do from there. I never stick at things diet wise (which is my failing) so I never truly know what works and what doesnt... This is a long change but sometimes I forget that and just want to drop the weight as fast as I can. Thanks for making me remember that!


Just back from another installment of SS.

Squats

5x 20kg
5x 30kg
5x 40kg
5x 50kg
5x 50kg
5x 50kg

Chest Press

5x 20kg
5x 30kg
5x 35kg
5x 35kg
3x 35kg

Deadlift

5x 47kg

Random exercise - walked 3 miles

Really hard workout, my heart was practically coming out of my chest on the last set of squats. For once I felt it in my glutes! I think I am now at my real starting weights so each workout will be a real battle - me vs the iron - bring it. Chest press was a lot better than last time my left side is definately letting me down. I used dumbells between sets
and I could see the difference. Going to work with dumbells for a while whilst my left side catches up. Deadlifts were great! I love me some deadlifts. Felt it down my hamstrings and it felt great!
Nutrition - based on what I have eaten and what I have still to eat today.

1636cal - 147g protein, fat 58g, carb 108

Thats a little bit better on the protein front. I find it really hard to hit my protein requirement without the use of protein shakes. I think I rely on them too much - I need to look for some realtively low cal high protein recipe.

[WithTheFight]

DAY 15

If I had written this post six hours ago you would have got am essay on how crap I am at controlling my diet and how excellent I am at sabotaging myself with mini binges. However I am incapable of being negative as I have just come back from bodycombat and now I am on a high. Bodycombat is my prozac.

So basically today was another sign that I need to up the cals as again the carbs were high as were the cals - I think 2300 total - so nothing crazy. It was the usual suspects yogurt, bread and peanut butter. I would like to think that me peanut butter, bread and yogurt could co exist peacefully together but that doesnt seem to be the case.

Whenever I binge mini or otherwise my thought process always goes -

1. heyyyyyyy 1 teaspoon of peanut butter would totally balance my carb laden oats!
2.this is really good but I shouldnt be having this
3. feel guilty
4. more guilt that I cany enjoy a simple pleasure like fodo without feeling guilty
5. have some more of the "forbidden food" because I need to enjoy it properly
6. maybe i should stop now
7 no you have already had the forbidden food lets go crazy I dont know when Ill get this chance to eat this forbidden food again!
8. finally stop, 10 jars of peanut butter later
9.damage is done
10. one is not loling


So yeah reading that back its evident that Im crazy but that aside. this cycle needs to stop!


Bodycombat was great we did a bit of the new release (I love you track 3) and I wasnt as fatigued as normal which could be because:

1. I am getting fitter
2. my body is having a party with all the carbs I ate

Im thinking its number 2.

NUTRITION

2300cal - protein I think 100g, carbs 1000000000000000034g, fat around 70g

The more I tell myself I need more protein the more I find myself eating more carbs. I love my protein, Im such a carnivore yet still I insist with the carbs. This is truly my mind messing with me and I need to address it before it becomes a long term trend in this journal.

[315DL]

Ipressive #'s are impressive!
Keep it up.

[WithTheFight]

Just back from the gym - feeling pretty mediocre for some reason - dont know where my weight lifting mojo has gone? I think maybe I didnt push it as much as I could have because my activity in the day fatigued me before I even hit the weights! Note to self 9pm workouts do not work for me!

Squats

20kg x5
40kg x5
50kg x5
55kg x5
55kg x5
55kg x5

Squats were only thing I was happy with for this workout. When it came to doing the 50kg I was like OMG its so light LOL when last workout I was like "IM GOING TO DIE". Amazing how the body adapts!

Over head press

Oncemore I used the bar that looks like the olympic bar but is lighter (HOW MUCH DOES IT WEIGH ANYONE?)

lighter bar + 10kg x5
lighter bar + 12.5 x5
lighter bar + 15kg x4
lighter bar + 15kg x4
lighter bar + 15kg x4

It really annoys me when I cant do a full set. I was annoyed. My arms just refused to comply with my orders. 12.5 was too easy so next time Im going to go 15kg again and nail it before moving on obviously.

Rows

Normally I llike rows! Today I did not like rows. Form was not great it was passable but I was starting to lift with my back - I mean like standing up. Need to re learn/go over form I think.

10kg x5
20kg x5
30kg x3 (too heavy lol)
27.5kg x5
27.5kg x5
27.5kg x5

OTHER EXERCISE

6miles walk

NUTRITION

1686cal - protein 159.6g (BOOM), carb 107g, fat 61.4g

Happy with that especially the protein! It seems that I am either amazing at sticking to my diet goals or utterly crap. More consistancy is needed.

[WithTheFight]

DAY 20

Well due to the Easter weekend days 17,18 and 19 are but a chocolate induced sugar high blur. Some exercise was done A LOT of eating was done but to be honest I feel so much better for it. My body had been aching my and mind wasnt in it so I gave myself a break. I think I averaged 2000 cal a day so no damage done and now I feel more motivated than ever. I am just beginning to see positive changes in my body as well as other fringe benefits - so its just a matter of keep doing what Im doing!

Its just after lunch here but Im hoping to hit the weights or go running later on today. Will post later - onwards and upwards!

[hieronymous]

I had the 'lighter' bar at my old gym. The attendant said it was 20 lb, I compared it to a 20lb dumbbell and it weighed about the same.

[WithTheFight]

DAY 20 CTD

Ended up going for a three mile run it was good! Never thought Id say I love running but I do?! Weight training has helped so much. I can feel its effects when I run - my lower back is stronger, my calves dont fatigue as easily and my hamstrings are better able to support my weight.

In other news I bought some nuts. I love nuts. However I have a really REALLY hard time controlling myself - worse than chocolate... I think its important to teach myself moderation as a part of this new lifestyle. I cant and shouldnt ban things - thats not how to live. Also my fat intake hasnt been as high as it should be so it serves two purposes. So far I have been good and not stuffed my face like I normally would have. Time will tell though.

NUTRITION

cals 1457 - protein 157.2g, carbs 76g, fat 60g

DAY 21

Today was further proof that evening workouts just dont suit me - apart from the fact that the weights was packed with guys I just couldnt seem to conjure up my usual strength after being drained from day to day errands or whatever. I just wasnt thinking and I put on my running shoes instead of my flatsoles! Only realised this once I was limbering up in the squat rack! Meant I couldnt go up to 60kg like I had planned because the weight kept shifting forwards onto the balls of my feet.

SQUAT

5x 20kg
5x 30kg
5x 40kg
5x 50kg
5x 55kg
3x 60kg - failed lol
2x 60kg
5x 57.5kg
5x 57.5kg
5x 57.5kg

I was tired after attempting the 60 and then accepting my shoes werent going to let me maintain correct form so having to drp the weight. Worked up a sweat - felt good.

Bench

I have no love for the bench. Im officially stalled on 35kg. I dont know what to do as there are no 15kg dumbells so I cant help my left side out!? there are 10kg and 16kg dumbells but nothing in between. I had been using 10kg but its too light and 16kg is far to heavy which I dont understand. Any help would be appreciated otherwise Im just gonna drop the weight to 32.5 and hop my left catched up.

5x 20kg
5x 30kg
5x 35kg
2x 37.5kg failed
5x 35kg
5x 35kg

Deadlifts

Had to do these with what I call the lady bar which I am informed (THANK YOU hieronymous!) is 20lb - so thats about 9kg. All deadlift weights listed include this bar weight.

5x 29kg
5x 49kg
5x 54kg



I had the 'lighter' bar at my old gym. The attendant said it was 20 lb, I compared it to a 20lb dumbbell and it weighed about the same.

Yeah that sounds about right its not heavy but it still has a weight to it. It is very msyterious sometimes its there on the floor other times the 45lb one is there instead...

Happy with squats and deads but bench is just frustrating. Next time Ill hopefully have my one plate party with my squats lol

NUTRITION

1721cal - 165g protein (lol), carb - 92.6g, fat 78.1g (yas)

DAY 22

Got bodycombat tonight which I am looking forward to SO MUCH as I missed it on Sunday due to sugar coma.

Will update with nutrition at end of day!

[WithTheFight]

DAY 23 (yesterday)

Prepare for the updates of updates. The post of posts.

I decided to get a bodymedia so I could get a more accurate estimate of my calories burned. Sometimes I put all this work in and the scale refuses move the way I want it too. Honestly I think sometimes my body is trolling me. So I have been wearing it for the past three days and what it says is interesting. On a day I do bodycombat I burn 3600cal and on a weights day its more like 3000. Yeah I didnt think I was burning that much and bearing that in mind it makes me consider the days where I was eating 1500 on a bodycombat day - yeah not good. Also these are days where I am just pottering around - not moving that much apart from exercise. Im going to up the calories and use them on more protein and fats which Im still struggling to get enough of.

It was a Thursday which means it was a weights day heres what I did:

Squats

5x 20kg
5x 30kg
5x 40kg
5x 50kg
5x 60kg
5x 60kg
5x 60kg

Finally I made it to the one plate. It was tough and I worked hard. Sometimes I do suffer a little bit from running before I can walk so Im going to do 60kg again on Saturday and just make sure its good and solid before moving on. The last rep was a battle! Heart was thumping and it felt good!

OHP

From elation to frustration lol. I have no idea what is going on with my upper body strength but its pretty much non existant atm. I had to drop the weight back?!?!? As it was too heavy. I think this is further evidence that I need more cals and protein. But I think its also from going too hard in bodycombat there are A LOT of punches/hooks/uppercuts as well as push ups and conditioning work so perhaps I need to rest a bit more or not go as hard.

lighter bar + 10kg x5
lighter bar + 15kg x4
lighter bar + 15kg x3
lighter bar + 12.5kg x5
lighter bar + 12.5kg x5
ligter bar + 12.5kg x5

Rows

Happy with my rows, I didnt progress weight wise because I wanted to make sure I had good form.

lighter bar +10kg x5
lighter bar + 20kg x5
lighter bar + 30kg x3
lighter bar + 30kg x4 (only then did I realise I had put the wrong weight on the bar lol)
lighter bar + 27.5kg x5
lighter bar + 27.5kg x5
lighter bar + 27.5kg x5

NUTRITION - 1800cal - protein 144g, carb 125g, fat 75g


DAY 24

Bodycombat first thing this morning it was great as ever! I always give it everything but its just so frustrating when it comes to the conditioning track. Im so worn out that I cant hold a full plank or do the ab work properly. I cant do a plank at the best of times although its definately improved since I started SS.

Its the Royal wedding today! I am actually watching the service as I type my weight lifting endeavors! Must be very surreal for all involved - I wish them well!

Also I hopefully have a job! Its not set in stone yet but I have training tomorrow. I am looking forward to it but a little bit nervous as well!

Also even though its Friday today (aka weigh in day) I decided Im not going to I get to hung up on it. Ill weigh myself next Friday and hopefully fortnightly from then on. I do see a difference in my clothes though and in the mirror. There is far less jiggle all round. Still a LONG way to go but I feel good and I think the way I look at my body has changed. Instead of always looking at my stomach and assing its flab ratio now I flex my bicepts to see if theres any change in muscle lol.

[WithTheFight]

DAY 25

Technically this was weights day but by the time I had done all my errands I was exhausted. I actually went for a 4 hour nap... which I NEVER do. Ive decided I need to give myself less of a hard time both in my diet and when it comes to exercising. The way my body has been acting recently I think Im doing too much - which is kind of confirmed by my bodymedia consistantly hitting 3000cals even without me really trying. According to those numbers I should be dropping weight like there is no tomorrow! The scale never seems to be on my side though. I think maybe Im restricting too much my body needs rest and cals - my mind is the one who has to accept that. The past few days Ive raised my cals to around 2000 - 2300 - just going to see what happens for a while. Dont know if Im doing the right thing.

NUTRITION

2000CAL - 137g protein, 201 carb, 100g fat

DAY 26

At least as far as workouts go I know where I am! I was meant to go to bodycombat but I owed the weights a little bit of love so I went weightlifting instead. Really, really wanted to go to bodycombat but three times a week is too much. Im cutting it down to two and hope that helps with my recovery and weight loss.


SQUATS

20kg x5
40kg x5
50kg x5
60kg x5
60kg x5
60kg x5

Yeah just decided to make sure I nailed 60kg before moving on. Was no way as tough as last time although on my warm up sets the weirdest thing happened. My right side of my right calf muscle went numb - like it felt like it wasnt there - it wasnt sore it just didnt feel right. Like it was shaking but I couldnt feel it strangest sensation ever... By the time I did my actual sets it seemed to be okay...

BENCH

20kg x5
30kg x5
35kg x5
35kg x5
35kg x5

Still stalled. I hate it. I was looking though the forums and saw a post about a person having problems with benching. Took a lot of tips from the thread regarding form so Im going to try them out next time. 35kg wasnt AS hard as it normally is but 37.5 was just too heavy.

DEADLIFTS

29kg x5
49kg x5
59kg x5

Really happy with deadlifts I always feel like there is room for progression (unlike, ahem, my bench) even though the last rep was really really hard.

Also gymming it at 4.20pm on a Sunday ROCKS. The gym was empty pretty much - I had all the equiptment to myself! I got my grunt on during the squats LOL.

NUTRITION

2300cal - protein 155g, carb 147g, fat 99g

[WithTheFight]

DAY 27

A new month. Even though what Im doing is a lifestyle - I will always strive to be as fit as I can - a fresh new month gives me the impetus to push harder to do better than the last. Its a reason to keep going with a new lease of life. I hope I can keep up my progression with the weights and see some shift in my body weight this month.

I have a feeling that my time of the month is approaching. The combination of completely wanting every carb in site and a (sorry this is the only way I can describe it) certain heaviness in my ovaries (lol) makes me think this. So today I just said yes, yes to cereal. Just going to have to cut back a little tomorrow - I still end the day at maintainance but woah im going to be carrying a lot of water weight. Im weighing myself on Friday so im going to be on the lower side on the carb front until then just so i dont go crazy when I see the scale number.

Today was a rest day so I sorted through all my Vogues lol and thew out the ones with bad editorials. Walked the dog. Rock on.

NUTRITION

2500CAL - protein 157g, carb 300g, fat 100g

[WithTheFight]

With one month gone I decided I should post some "progress" pictures. So I took some yesterday and with the aid of microsoft paint put them next to my pics I took a month ago. I cant decide if there is any major progress lol - I have looked at them so (too) many times - I think there is .... my hips look a bit slimmer. Left is where I started and right is where I am right now. I know one month is nothing in the greater scheme of things - three months will be a real marker.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/47409983@N06/5682804409/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/47409983@N06/5683370386/

[WithTheFight]

LOL. My images didnt show up. Here they are - progress from right to left lol

http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5107/5682804409_9a2ae903ed.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/47409983@N06/5682804409/)
progress1 (http://www.flickr.com/photos/47409983@N06/5682804409/) by embellishedrobin (http://www.flickr.com/people/47409983@N06/)



http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5026/5683370386_7514a7c7fc.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/47409983@N06/5683370386/)
progress2 (http://www.flickr.com/photos/47409983@N06/5683370386/) by embellishedrobin (http://www.flickr.com/people/47409983@N06/)

[WithTheFight]

Back from a workout and well it was interesting. Started out with my squats and I was doing my warm up sets and this lovely PT came over and helped me check my form. She said the bar was too low down on my back and that I should squeeze my shoulders more. She is right and it feels much better but its going to take some getting used to. It kind of mucked up my sets though because I was practising with 50kg when she came to check my form so I did like 12 reps at that weight just to make sure form was okay. Then she continued her workout and I was so tired I just did a couple of sets at 55kg instead of pushing past the 60. Also I didnt want her to think I was being an ******* and disregarding her advice by going to my max when I still need to work on bar position. So basically I worked hard but my sets were mega messy. Good thing SS gives me the opportunity to squat 3x a week...

OHP

I did these properly and Im back to my 15kg + lady bar! I was worried for a sec lol

5x lady bar
5x lady bar + 10kg
5x lady bar + 15kg
5x lady bar + 15kg
5x lady bar + 15kg

ROWS

I dont know what was wrong with me but I just couldnt focus. No idea how many sets or reps I did. I was so exhaused from those darn squats!

Man, just frustrated with that workout. Cant wait till tomorrow though for bodycombat - I missed it on Sunday. Reunited with my one true love!

NUTRITION

2000CAL - 150g Protein, uh man just closed daily burn window gooddddbyyyyyyee carb and fat macros!

[315DL]

Keep up the good work!

[WithTheFight]

Keep up the good work!

Thanks! Also I note that we have the same bench now! Im really struggling with mine atm so your going to own me in no time lol.


DAY 29 (yesterday)

I was in such a foul mood yesterday for no reason. Just felt really blah. Normally on days I have bodycombat I spring out of bed thiinking "yes. this is my day, today I get to do bodycombat!!!!!!!!" * dancing ensues. That didnt happen yday so I knew it was a bad omen for the day. Anyways I basically arsed around then went to bodycombat in the evening. Such a great class! It was all old stuff like 6 tracks I had never done before so I was a bit (a lot) off on some of the choreography but it was EPIC. I was practically dying though I really pushed it. It made me realise how much stronger and fitter I have to be to make my goal at being an instructor. At the end my ass had well and truly been kicked.

Afterwards I went out to meet my friend and I had peanut butter icecream (!) admittedly it tasted more praline like but it still had nuts! Bad day turned good.

DAY 30

Weighed myself today and I have lost 1.5lb I am happy. Thats 5lb this month in total. Sounds slow but hopefully its more because Im putting on muscle. Also I was surprised I had lost that much. As you can see from my cals recently well they have been high. A part of me was like - is this real life? I am cutting on 2300cal? I am cutting on 2300cal.

[315DL]

Thanks! Also I note that we have the same bench now! Im really struggling with mine atm so your going to own me in no time lol.


Hehe. IDK about that, my 5th rep was very challenging. Hopefully I'll be able to add 5lbs next time.
Maybe watch some videos on youtube and make sure form is 100%?
And nice, turning a blah day into a good one! Bodycombat sounds pretty neat.
5lbs in 1 month? You go girl!

[WithTheFight]

DAY 31

Was mums birthday so the family and I went out to dinner and consequently macros went out the window... Then pumped full of food I want to the gym. llol. I decided that Im going to record everyday what my bodymedia says I burn and my intake then see if this does indeed correllate with the scale.

SQUAT

Very annoyed with this I should have pushed harder on the 2nd and 3rd set. Im going to nail the 62.5kg properly tomorrow.

5x 20kg
5x 40kg
3x 50kg
5x 62.5kg
3x 62.5kg
4x 62.5kg

BENCH

My bench is such a mess. I figure only way I can get the left side to catch up with the right is drop the weight and do more reps? So thats what I did. Im going to see what happens next time I bench and assess it from there.

5x 20kg
8x 30kg
8x 30kg
8x 32.5kg
8x 32.5kg



DEADLIFT

Ahhhh good old deadlifts I can always count on you for progression. My faves.

5x 20kg
5x 40kg
5x 60kg
5x 60kg

NUTRITION

2200cal - 110g protein, 230g carb, 111g fat

BODYMEDIA REPORTED BURN 3127

APROX DEFICIT - 927

DAY 32

Today all Im going to do is go for a 3 mile run in about 30 mins and work up a sweat on this gorgeous evening. Last SS installment of the week tomorrow. I love SS but my god do I look forward to the two off days!

NUTRITION

1700CAL - 130g protein, 70g fat, 111g carb


Hehe. IDK about that, my 5th rep was very challenging. Hopefully I'll be able to add 5lbs next time.
Maybe watch some videos on youtube and make sure form is 100%?
And nice, turning a blah day into a good one! Bodycombat sounds pretty neat.
5lbs in 1 month? You go girl!

First things first. YOU NEED TO TRY BODYCOMBAT! I used to hate cardio but bodycombat made me love it. It has done wonders for my cardiovascular health and was the thing that turned me onto fitness so I am indebted to it. It has also made me have a rather unhealthy love of dance music that I never thought possible being quite an indie/rock/metal/alternative person...

Regarding the bench, yeah Ill watch more videos but I think it just comes down to my left side being an absolute pussy. I can tell my right can do more but my left just lets it down. Its to early to stall how did this happen?!

Aw thanks for the compliment on the weightloss - I am happy and long may it continue - let us both continue with operation get ripped!

[WithTheFight]

DAY 32 CTD

That was one crap run! I ran 1.5 miles then felt faint and headachey and had stomach cramps so I had to walk the rest of the way. Also my running partner (dog) was being naughty by going really slow when I wanted to go fast and then later when I started walking and feeling ill pulled me along at breakneck speed! By the time I got home I was feeling fine but I had some sweet tea all the same.

BODYMEDIA REPORTED BURN - 2677

APROX DEFICIT - 977

DAY 33

No more SS till Tuesday! Here is what I did today:

SQUAT

5x 20kg
5x 40kg
5x 62.5kg
5x 62.5kg
5x 62.5kg

Really happy with them and I can add more weight to the bar next time its going to really push me though. Im really happy with my form and my bum is presently killing me.

5x 10kg + lady bar
5x 15kg + lady bar
4x 15kg + lady bar
4x 15kg + lady bar

Still stuck on 15kg. I did one rep with 17.5 LOL. On tuesday I did three sets of 5 no probs but today I failed on the last ones of set 2 and three might apear strange but I know why that is. I think I was cheating on tueday using my knees and legs to help push up rather than the more static press that SS requires. So I change my form and this is what happens! Its a good thing though I can feel it in my shoulders right now so Im working my shoulders as oposed to, ahem, my legs. Maybe this is related to why my bench is stalled?!

ROWS

5x 20kg + lady bar
5x 27.5kg + lady bar
5x 27.5kg + lady bar
5x 27.5kg + lady bar

still at same weight I know. I feel I could have pushed and gone up to thirty (and done it reasonably well) but still on the very last set my back was coming up. Next time I can add more weight no point if my form sucks.

Im happy with my workout. Bodycombat tomorrow YAS. Also I baked banana bread today it is delish - I added some of my vanilla whey to it so it would kind of help me reach my macros if I wanted a treat! Next time Im going to make some kind of baked thing with the chocolate whey and see how i turns out.

NUTRITION - 2085cal - 150g protein, 191g carb, 93g fat

[315DL]

First things first. YOU NEED TO TRY BODYCOMBAT! I used to hate cardio but bodycombat made me love it. It has done wonders for my cardiovascular health and was the thing that turned me onto fitness so I am indebted to it. It has also made me have a rather unhealthy love of dance music that I never thought possible being quite an indie/rock/metal/alternative person...

Regarding the bench, yeah Ill watch more videos but I think it just comes down to my left side being an absolute pussy. I can tell my right can do more but my left just lets it down. Its to early to stall how did this happen?!

Aw thanks for the compliment on the weightloss - I am happy and long may it continue - let us both continue with operation get ripped!

I'll look into it! atm I'm only doing about 1 day of cardio per week if that, lazy I know.
As for the bench I know what you are talking about. For me when that happens I just make sure my form is on point before the next set and it usually helps some. I know SS doesn't call for DB bench press but I wonder if that could help your left catch up? Then switch back to BB after? Hmm.

[WithTheFight]

DAY 33

Bodycombat today, it was as usual really really great!

NUTRITION - 2031CAL, 144g protein, 240g carb, 81.8g fat

BODYMEDIA REPORTED BURN 3071

APROX DEFICIT - 1040

DAY 34

My rest day - so I ate at maintainance, relaxed my macros and chilled out - lots of good food lots of rest, my body really needs it. Also my speculations were right that TOM is upon me now watch as my carb intake rises...

Also in other news I found out today that I am now have means of employment! I should be starting next week so Im going to make the most of the gym whilst Im freeeeeeeeee!!!! Jokes. I hate not working and this means I can get some real routine down and start volunteering again! Good times!

NUTRITION - 2712CAL - Protein 144g, carbs 378g, fat 148g

BODYMEDIA REPORTED BURN - 2726

APROX DEFICIT - 14



I'll look into it! atm I'm only doing about 1 day of cardio per week if that, lazy I know.
As for the bench I know what you are talking about. For me when that happens I just make sure my form is on point before the next set and it usually helps some. I know SS doesn't call for DB bench press but I wonder if that could help your left catch up? Then switch back to BB after? Hmm.

Less cardio means that you can put everything into lifting so not lazy at all! Also youll have more recovery time without cardio - so considering your goals Ill let you off with little cardio :p

Id still do bodycombat even if it burned like 1cal - its just epic. I think its just going to take a while for my sides to even out. Last time I benched I had a spotter which was great - one of the guys from the gym saw me looking mightily pissed off whilst i was resting so gave me a hand with my form and weight. Im benching today so Ill see if Im any stronger... Otherwise yeah dumbells it is.

Hows your progressionw with SS? I really like reading your journal its nice to know that someone else in the world is braving the gym bros and making damn good use of the squat rack!

[WithTheFight]

DAY 35

It never stops - another week of SS begins:

SQUATS

20kg x5
40kg x5
60kg x5
65kg x5
65kg x5
65kg x5

So happy! My legs felt so strong at the beginning of this workout. No reps failed for once and good form.

BENCH

20kg x5
30kg x5
35kg x8
35kg x8
35kg x5

keeping at this weight for a while it frustrates the hell out of me but its just going to be a waiting game as far as progression is concerned

DEADLIFT

60kg x5
65kg x5

Normally I find my deadlifts relatively easy, I mean I still have to work for it but I always feel I can do more weight. This wasnt the case today! It was hard for me I think all those squats at the start were having a major effect as well as not enough rest time. Still I did it!

Also I have decided that to add to my list of goals - I want to be able to do the splits. I was in bodycombat and the cool down had the splits as one of the moves. Man I wasnt even close! Dont know how Im going to do this or where to start! Ill find a way. It should help with my weightlifting as well so its all good!


NUTRITION

1875cal - protein 140g, carb 214, fat 77g

[WithTheFight]

DAY 36

Bodycombat - I think anyone who has read any past post of mine concerning bodycombat knows what Im going to say - well it was all that and more! Really great session!

NUTRITION - 1765cal - 141g protein, 209g carb, 77g fat

APROX CALORIE BURN - 3345

APRORX DEFICIT -

DAY 37

Was meant to be doing SS today but I just was not on it. I met up with a friend had lunch walked her to the station said my goodbyes then I was meant to go to gym. I was so tired so I decided to go home first for an hour nap. That hour nap turned into a seven hour sleep... I was exhausted so I let my body rest. Its really hard knowing when to push through the tiredness and make it into a great gym session or whether to rest and get on it tomorrow. I think I made the right decision with an impromptu rest day as my body was minorly aching all over! The week is over on Sunday so as long as I get in two more SS workouts then I will be happy. It kind of mucks up my schedule bodycombat wise but thats the price I pay!

Still struggling with my protein intake - bane of my life!

NUTRITION

1876cal - 130g protein, 167g carb, 75g fat

REPORTED CALORIE BURN - 2743

APROX DEFICIT - 867

[womanoid]

Totally subbed. Hope to follow you for a long time. Your progressing fabulously.

[WithTheFight]

Totally subbed. Hope to follow you for a long time. Your progressing fabulously.

Aw thank you! I must confess that I have been lurking in your journal for a long time - as soon as I realised how to sub, your journal was subbed! I can relate to a lot of what you have been through to the extent that sometimes reading your journal I was like "are you me?!". I like how you are really honest and as well as nutrition and exercise commentary real life also filters through.

I was actually going to de-lurk by utilising your gymnastic knowledge and asking you how do I do the splits?! Being the kid who couldnt even do a cartwheel I am genuinely impressed at your gymnastic pursuits! Im hoping that eventually I will end up with a physique similar to a gymnast - lol we all got to have goals - broad shoulders, small waist, muscular stong legs, killer arms, lots and lots of muscle... My desktop background is Svetlana Khorkina lol! She is just inspiration though I just want to see what my genetics gave me :)

Anyways rambling aside - I really like your journal and will show myself now and thanks for following me - we are both in this for the long haul so I guess we better enjoy the journey!

[womanoid]

Hmm, I will try to help you with the splits. My front splits are natural for the most part but my straddle takes so much effort.

The first thing that would benefit you would just get used to stretching everyday. Once it becomes consistent, then you can start making it more specific. I guess stretching, like weight lifting, without consistency is just spinning your wheels. So just make time to do basic stretches every day (I like after workouts) & then I can help you from there.

[315DL]

Less cardio means that you can put everything into lifting so not lazy at all! Also youll have more recovery time without cardio - so considering your goals Ill let you off with little cardio :p

Id still do bodycombat even if it burned like 1cal - its just epic. I think its just going to take a while for my sides to even out. Last time I benched I had a spotter which was great - one of the guys from the gym saw me looking mightily pissed off whilst i was resting so gave me a hand with my form and weight. Im benching today so Ill see if Im any stronger... Otherwise yeah dumbells it is.

Hows your progressionw with SS? I really like reading your journal its nice to know that someone else in the world is braving the gym bros and making damn good use of the squat rack!

Hey girl. Yeah I just can't be bothered with cardio atm. I already feel like I am eating WAY too little so gonna have to fix that and fast. :o But BC def sounds epic. Is it just at certain gyms?

Glad to see you still going strong! Your left will even out eventually like you said. I'm starting to notice my left is lagging a bit also. Your progression looks awesome! Very jelly of your deadlift :p

As for protein being too low idk if you like canned chicken/tuna but if you do, stock up! This will help you reach your Pro. goal. Oh and lotsa milk :)

Progression is good. My only problems are BP and OHP. Did 86lbs on BP today. Going to have to drop it and work back up tho. I thought I was going to die lol.

btw do you track your food on the net or just in a notebook?

[WithTheFight]

Hmm, I will try to help you with the splits. My front splits are natural for the most part but my straddle takes so much effort.

The first thing that would benefit you would just get used to stretching everyday. Once it becomes consistent, then you can start making it more specific. I guess stretching, like weight lifting, without consistency is just spinning your wheels. So just make time to do basic stretches every day (I like after workouts) & then I can help you from there.

Are there specific stretches for front splits vs straddle? Or if I just do all the stretches for front splits will straddle be easier and progress as well?

I started stretching today and my god I am tight! I was doing my john wayne walk by the end of it! I did two sessions of 30 mins but Im at a loss of what to do between stretches - Ive been going into childs pose because it feels nice but should I keep my muscles moving or what? Ive done yoga in the past but never focused on one muscle group - its really intense and a lot of work but I want to be able to do it so yeahh.. consistancy...





Hey girl. Yeah I just can't be bothered with cardio atm. I already feel like I am eating WAY too little so gonna have to fix that and fast. :o But BC def sounds epic. Is it just at certain gyms?

Glad to see you still going strong! Your left will even out eventually like you said. I'm starting to notice my left is lagging a bit also. Your progression looks awesome! Very jelly of your deadlift :p

As for protein being too low idk if you like canned chicken/tuna but if you do, stock up! This will help you reach your Pro. goal. Oh and lotsa milk :)

Progression is good. My only problems are BP and OHP. Did 86lbs on BP today. Going to have to drop it and work back up tho. I thought I was going to die lol.

btw do you track your food on the net or just in a notebook?

Im envious of you being able to lift on a calorie surplus so have that extra protein shake on me! I would love to see what lifting is like on a surplus and in the far far away future I hope to bulk so one day it will become reality... but you.. your living the dream right now! Eat MOAR!

You are owning me at upper body though! You have a full 10lbs on my OHP! I find it so hard its ridiculous, going to read up on technique AGAIN. The way my body is proportioned is that I have a relatively small upper body and then THUNDEROUS legs lol. Seeing as thats where most of my fat is Im also thinking I must have built up a bit of muscle there as well. I dunno if thats how it works, Im making stuff up. :)

Oh man bodycombat - is it evident Im a little bit in love?! Its a program created by Les Mills so if your gym runs group fitness classes it might run bodycombat. It is great by itself but I have an awesome instructor she is really great and I want her arms lol. I know Ive been pushed to what I thought was my cardiovascular limit and then gone far past it in BC. I use it as therapy as well you get to "shout/grunt" on certain moves (helps with breathing and force) so you can let loose a little bit and let it all hang out!


I use daily burn to track cals and macros. I used fitday for a while but then I realised I didnt like it lol.

DAY 38

Second SS installment this week

Squat rack wasnt free when I got there (theres only one:()so I started with rows. It really annoys me when I cant start with squats - throws me off a bit.

ROWS (all lifts include bar weight)

19kg x5
29kg x5
39kg x5
39kg x5
36.5 x8
36.5 x9

Okay bit of a weird combination but I can explain! I decided to go up to 39kg and it felt okay - good form, back was down, good ROM - but when I looked in the mirror I saw my left handside was not pulling its weight. So I dropped the weight down, 36.5 is really easy now so made sure my left was working just as much as my right. Good to know I can do 39 and find it relatively okay though, but right now I just want to stop my left handside from being an absolute fail.

OHP (all lifts include bar weight)

What.The. Hell. I really do not understand maybe too much rowing beforehand? I did go all out on the rows. I read the starting strength chapter on OHP before I went out and by the looks of things im going to have to read it again! I just cant get past 24kg! 19 feels like the lightest thing ever and then for 24kg well I might as well be Atlas lifting up the world or whatever - its that heavy. Grrr staying at this weight until 24kg is a piece of cake.

19kg x5
24kg x4
24kg x3
24kg x4

SQUATS

finally my beloved squats!

20kg x5
40kg x5
60kg x3
65kg x5
67.5kg x3
67.5kg x3
67.5kg x4

Really wanted at least one full set on these and I think it was my mentality rather than my physicality that held me back. Whenever I put more weight on the bar and get under it and de rack it I think to myself "OMG this is too heavy, I just cant, HEAVY!!!". I remember thinking this at 20kg, 40kg, 50kg, etc whenever I added more weight it ALWAYS feels like a **** tonne more than last time. Sometimes I manage to tell myself well thats what I felt like at 65kg and you got 3 sets so you can do it at 67.5kg now. This time my head got the better of me and all I could think of was "HEAVY!". Had to talk to myself on the last set... I was muttering "do you want "dat ass?!" well get under the bar and squat!". Even though I didnt get the all the reps I worked hard and was definately glowing...

[WithTheFight]

DAY 39

Rest day. Nothing to see here move along. :P


DAY 40

Well due to me being an idiot and having a seven hour "nap" on a lift day and therefore didnt end up lifting I did SS and bodycombat on the same day. Not optimal but no way in hell was I missing bodycombat Ive only done it once this week! I woke up late but made it to gym 40 mins before class - so i had to fit in a workout that normally takes me an hour into 40 mins...

SQUAT

5x 20kg
5x 40kg
3x 60kg
5x 67.5kg
5x 67.5kg
5x 67.5kg

got the three sets of five! I think sheer desperation at wanting to make bodycombat spurred me on! Having said this Im going to stay at this weight for one more session before moving on - I was breaking parallel but I need to go lower with confidence before moving on.

BENCH

8x 20kg
5x 30kg
5x 35kg

Okay so this looks bad and its as bad as it looks... I was running out of time and Id rather deadlifts over bench anyday, so......


DEADLIFTS

5x 50kg
5x 60kg
5x 70kg

Increased my deadlift by 5kg!!! By mistake!! I get really confused with the plates I only meant to take it up to 67.5... Anwyay I did it but my form was a little off on the last rep. Im dropping the weight back on that badboy deadlift but its great to know I can do 70.

Then I rushed into bodycombat! I forgot to change out of my weightlifting shoes into my running ones so my poor joints felt it a bit more when it came to jumpkicks... Also when it came to the track where you do (they call it a decoy) this thing where your squating and then you jump and rotate in the air 180 degrees then back again, well, my quads were screaming dear god no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was actually quite "tame" with the track/move selection thank goodness so I wasnt as drenched in sweat/wrecked as I normally am.

Havnt been recording my nutrition past few days due to laziness not because ive binged or over eaten, Ive been really good with my cals but I should record them for prosperity. lol.

Also ordered some new flavours of whey protein they should get here tomorrow. EXCITEMENT AND PROTEIN CAKE MAKING SHALL ENSUE.

Hope everyone is goood and had a great weekend! Despite not working at the moment (start job next week) I still find it harder on weekends to control my cal intake. Purely psychological! Ive been doing okay though past couple of weeks. Having said that, Im supressing the urge to comfort eat after the shock that was eurovision lol - jokes :)

NUTRITION

2037CAL - 143g protein, 227g carbs, 62g fat

[womanoid]

Good luck on your new job, strong lady!


Also, it's 'posterity' :P

[WithTheFight]

Also, it's 'posterity' :P


Oh dear, what a fail! Literal faceplam.

DAY 41

So yesterday was a rest day so I chillaxed and ate a lot of food (well within cal limit). I dont know how but I burned 2700cals according to bodymedia... A bit suspect as very little exercise was done. However, I broke my personal best for calorie burn the day before (bodycombat and weights day) with 3914!!

I think I need to address my bad baddd habit of snacking though. I noticed it yesterday more so than ever. Even though I ate 2500cal and I want hungry at all I noticed I tend to grab a handful of cereal or a piece of toast now and then which means when it comes to mealtimes I have smaller meals which psychologically gets to me. Im one of those people who likes to see a lot of food on their plate! Whether its a big leafy salad or a tonne of veggies - I really like volume in my meals. I think in the past Ive overidden my "im hungry/Im full" signals with my past eating that its messed these signals up. So pyschologically the way I determine whether Ive had enough/when to eat is by eyeballing whats put before me. If it looks like a lot ill be full if not then Ill snack to oblivion and beyond! So thats it no more snacking - three bountiful meals a day it shall be from now on!

My protein also came so I had a little taste test with protein powders. I got chocolate nut and cookies and cream. Well whilst I wouldnt be awarding any michellin stars anytime soon they werent half bad! I swear though its times like this where I wish I lived in America! Britain is like a communist state in comparison with its selection of proteins!


DAY 42

Today! Going to hit the weights later on - OHP Ima coming for you. Will update later :)

[womanoid]

Britain is like a communist state in comparison with its selection of proteins!

lol :( sorry


Good luck on your wo, can't wait to see those numbers.

[315DL]

DAY 42

Today! Going to hit the weights later on - OHP Ima coming for you. Will update later :)

Get it girl!

[WithTheFight]

DAY 42 (ctd)

So walk in gym and its my worst nightmare someone is actually using the squat rack! Its one of the PTs who is doing an exercise with the olympic bar unbeknownst to man. Also there are dumbells dumbells errrywhere around the squat rack... Why?! as well as a step and lots of plates? Its a mess. I decide to start with rows.

ROWS

19kg x5
29kg x5
39kg x5
39kg x5
39kg x5
36.5 x9
36.5 x7

I know. I went a little mental on the rows 39kg is actually okay now and not too heavy but Im still having trouble with my form. Right handside is perfect left handside my elbows keep flailing out to the side. Ive searched the forums and I think its because I use too narrow a grip so im going to widen it and see what happens next time. Hopefully go up to 41.5!

SQUATS

Squat rack was free so I went for it! I decided to do 67.5 again because due to me being far to overzealous with my splits stretching I think I did more damage than good as it was a little bit sore as soon as I broke paralell.... Im not doing anymore stretching this week just to make sure - Im starting again on Monday though!

5x 20kg
5x 40kg
3x 60kg
3x 65kkg
5x 67.5kg
5x 67.5kg
5x 67.5kg

OHP

Note to self: never do OHP last. By the time I got round to this I was dead lol (thank you rows) so it was really bad.

19kg x5
24kg x2 (oh dear)
24kg x3
24kg x4

All in all it was a good work out but no increases :( that just means I am priming myself for an increase next time though!

DAY 43

I dont know what happened. I woke up and I just wasnt myself. I have way too much time to think on my hands atm and my mind was getting the best of me. Just doubts that I couldnt change my body, what was different this time, etc Just couldnt shake it. I went to bodycombat had a great time. Then I came back and ate. It was under what my reported burn was by 100 cal or whatever but I was angry. Angry that I had just wiped out all my efforts for that day. I wasnt even hungry. I was just annoying myself and there is no reason for it.

DAY 44

This mood continued into yesterday (Day 44) it was meant to be a lift day. But I just felt crap. I wanted to do exercise though so I went to bodycombat. It cheered me up and things seemed to be normal again. Just means that once again I have mucked up my lifting schedule meaning that Im lifting today and Ill have to lift on sunday before bodycombat again. God I am annoying!

DAY 45 (Today!)

Today is a new day and I am going to get 70kg on my squats later even if it kills me! Even though my cals have been on track for the past week my carbs have been on the high side so Im going to have a majority intake of protein day today! I feel like I am myself again last two days it was like someone had taken my hope away and therefore I didnt have the ususal fight in me. Just have to have belief and stay the course.

[WithTheFight]

DAY 45 (CTD)

SQUATS

20kg x8
40kg x5
60kg x3
70kg x5
70kg x5
70kg x5

I went up to 70kg on my squats! Happiness. Still recovering from over-enthusiastic stretching meant that I couldnt go as low as I liked but it was still past paralell. 60kg was such a mental thing since I have past it I now feel like I can lift anything! Cant wait until im at 100kg!

BENCH

20kg x7
30kg x5
35kg x5
35kg x5
35kg x5

So hard! My goodness nearly failed on the last rep - my bench never feels easier, always such a struggle

DEADLIFT

50kg x5
70kg x5

Still at 70kg with my deadlift meaning my squat and deadlft are the same now. Should have really gone up to 72.5kg today but I wanted to focus on form. Ill get to do that next week :)

DAY 46

Was meant to weigh in today but I didnt because I AM A REBEL. I am so carbed up right now its ridic and I dont want to see a terrifying number on the scale that will just destroy me lol. So Im weighing in on Mon instead...

Going for a little run with my dog later which will be interesting as its really windy atm need to get some air and put those carbs to use! Tomorrow is another exerciseathon with lifting then bodycomabat - bring it! Then I start work on Monday! Going to buy a small tub of ben and jerrys at some point as well. Plans. I have them.

[womanoid]

lol, I won't even look at the scale if I know I'm retaining :P

Also lol @ Day 42's nightmare, that's hilarious.


Very solid numbers you're hitting. Day 45 looks great.


I have the same problem on rows, don't know if it's caused by the same thing, but to make my left side keep good form I really concentrate on keeping that shoulder blade depressed & both of them retracted. Maybe that'll help you too?

[WithTheFight]

Okay so its been a while...Here is a recap of what the last few days has consisted of.

DAY 46 CTD

My last account said that I was going to go running. That I did. It was great, slightly dizzly so it was just me, my dog and the pavement.

DAY 47

Was weights day. So I basically bum around the house all day, I was reluctant to go to the gym. WHICH IS NOT ME. Anyways I finally go in the late evening and it was the worst weights session of my life. I was just not happy with my form and I had this "I cant" mindset which I just could not shake. I left feeling defeated.

I had a look back over this journal and saw I had been on this journey for well, 47 days! That also doesnt include my first two prelimary starting strength weeks so its been two months without a break. There was only one thing for it. DELOAD. So Im taking a rest week this week. Well I say rest week but I started work on Monday where I am constantly on my feet so my bodymedia constantly reports Im burning 3000+.. Anyways Im eating at maintance which feels SO GOOD. Hopefully my poor body can recover sufficiently this week. Its only now Im resting that I can feel how tired my muscles are, my quads and hamstrings inparticularly. The really hard thing is going without bodycombat, its really getting to me! But if I added that as well as work then Id easily burn 4000cal and tax my body unecessarily.

DAY 48

Started work today. Its not what I will be doing for the rest of my life but I really like it! It keeps me busy and I get to focus on keeping other people happy rather than going in in myself. Ive taken a year out from uni in order to restore my sanity and having a job and being in the real world not some silly academic one where exams govern everything is a release. Plus I get to help my family out with finances and contribute and pay for my accommodation for next year so I think its the right decision for me. I normally do everything the "right" way but there comes a point where you have to step back from what you have to really appreciate it - so thats what Ive done with my uni career.

DAY 49

Work. I went along for coffee training which basically involved coffee tasting! I love coffee so I was very interested to find out about the beans, how they grow them, roasting etc. Its is actually incredible how different regions produce beans vastly differing in taste. Yeah so you may have gathered that my job is being a barista :) Which is great and also I get free pre workout supplemention (caffeine) lol.

DAY 50

First real shift. It was good, I have a lot to learn!

DAY 51

My first 5.30am shift which meant I got up at 4.00am - oh the joys! I actually loved getting up that early no one was around the birds were singing it was such a clear, beautiful day. It went by in a flash as well!



I have the same problem on rows, don't know if it's caused by the same thing, but to make my left side keep good form I really concentrate on keeping that shoulder blade depressed & both of them retracted. Maybe that'll help you too?

Hey girl, your tip worked really well for me! Rows were my only saving grace in that last horrific workout thanks to your tip. I think I just wasnt tensing enough as well, focused too much on the reps... I see your doing a deload as well in your journal, I hope you are enjoying it and resting well :)

[WithTheFight]

DAY 55

So I stepped on the scale after my deload (for the first time in a long while) and I was exactly the same weight. First of all I had the immediate "Ive been busting my ass to no avail, ive been in deficit WTF" knee jerk reaction. Then I thought hey lets be rational here: 1. Im fully carbed up and 2. my clothes are fitting me better than ever. But this still wasnt enough for my mind to be put at ease so I did the ultimate test - the shirt test.

Last year I bought a shirt in the sales. It is the most glorious of shirts, people have written poetry about it such is its beauty. Unfortunately the shirt does not fit me.. The only size they had left was much smaller than my usual size but I bought it anyways as a goal. Well I routinely try it on to see if Im making progress and thus far it has yet to fit over my shoulders lol. Well I tried it on yesterday and well it fits! Not really well admittedly its still a little but tight across the chest (NEED2LOSETEHBOOBZ) but well it showed that the shirt is mightier than the scale. I also took pictures just to confirm this and for once I can see I am markedly slimmer.

Also during deload I have been eating at what my bodymedia says is my maintanence so Ive been eating 3400cal a day and not gained... This gives me hope for my metabolism lol.

Anyways I had become mega lazy on my deload and the weeks leading up to it (not tracking macros, not drinking water, not enough sleep) so its time for a reboot. During my deload I was able to take a step back and re-acess my goals and how I am going to pursue them. These are my conclusions.

1. I want muscle. Im talking rock hard abs, guns of glory and an ass that can crack nuts between its cheeks. I need to eat more protein to support this so Im upping it to 170g a day.

2. Considering number 1. I am going to focus soley on weight training as far as the gym goes. It means cutting bodycombat to once a week and no supplementary running. Im so active at work its just going to interfere with my recovery. Need to take advantage of whatever I have left of my noob gains! Once Im fitter I can start to rework some BC in.

3. Drink water! I have been so lazy on this and I dont know why as I love water?!

4. Lower the deficit. Some days I have had a 1700 cal deficit. This is silly. Im going to go for a 700 deficit maximum.

5. Continue progression on SS. My lifts are okay but they can always be better, I need to keep the hunger and I really want to reach 100kg deadlift in the next three months!

6. track ALL macros and bodymedia burn on this journal I have been crap at this. I havnt been consistant so I want to scientifically evaluate whether my bodymedia is truly accurate for me.

7. stay cool 8)

[womanoid]

Yeah! Glad that tip helped.


My goodness, you were definitely in need of a deload. If anything the mental break is so motivating, as you have seemed to take advantage of.

Your goals all sound good & relate to each other. #1 & 4 are definitely going to lead to #5, and #3 might help too. Good luck & stay updated.

[WithTheFight]

My goodness, you were definitely in need of a deload. If anything the mental break is so motivating, as you have seemed to take advantage of.

Your goals all sound good & relate to each other. #1 & 4 are definitely going to lead to #5, and #3 might help too. Good luck & stay updated.

Yeahh your right deload was long overdue! Also yes mentally Im so pumped now! On my deload I took a break from the BB forums as well. As much as I love this place (especially the journal section - if someone has a journal the chances are Ive read it!) and the motivation it gives, I think it was making me obsessive. I mean that I would compare myself to people who had been lifting, focused on nutrition for years and obviously I fell short. I hadnt even picked up a weight before until 2 months ago so I should be happy with what I have achieved in a short space of time and just calm down lol.

I like my new goals too :) need MOAR muscle.


DAY 55 CTD

So after I wrote that post about my new goals etc it was time for my first gym session after my deload. So first up is squats.

SQUATS

Normally id post the weight used and sets but seemingly my body has lost the will to squat. The bodypart which I thought needed the most rest was my legs, they have been consistantly achey for a long time. Not whilst Im busy but when it comes to going to bed they just feel so heavy and tired. I thought great deload will be great for them and Ill come back stronger. Also I think I have seriously stressed out my hip flexors from split stretching. My squats have not been the same since I did that and that was two weeks ago now. But again I thought they need a rest too. Well so I go to squat and do it with just the bar to warm up and oh man my hips are just so stiff it hurts a little when i reach my normal depth. Then I go to 40kg, then my usual 60kg (which is normally light as air) and its REALLY HARD. Even standing upright with the weight on my back its hard. I think oh its my mind playing tricks on me so I go up to 65kg and I do one rep. I drop it back to 60 and do two sets but it just isnt right.

I dont understand. I was angry super angry. Id been hitting 70 like no other and I felt I could go heavier. Now Im back at 60.. WTH. I dont know what to do.

BENCH

So Im upset at this point and bench is my least fave at best of times so Im not looking forward to it.

BENCH

20kg x7
30kg x5
35kg x5
37.5kg x5
37.5kg x5
37.5kg x5

So yeah I hit a personal best on my bench! I was able to raise the weight for the first time in an AGE. BENCH, YOU ARE THE NEW SQUAT. Jokes. squat I love you please come back.

DEADLIFTS

Okay so at this point I am at a loss, Im thinking well if my squats went down so will my deads.

50kg x5
70kg x5

deadlifts stay the same. THANK GOD. I felt I could have put more weight on the bar but my squats actually took it out of my legs (I was messing around with finding what weight I could squat and it not to hurt lol).

That is the end of the most WTF workout ever.



DAY 56

OW my quads. This is proof that my depth has been depeleted on my squat as normally i feel it in my glutes and hammies. Poor legs. Was doing my fave shift (not being sarcastic) of 5.30am till 12.30, I love that time of morning its just me and the walk of shame girls going about our business lol

NUMBER CRUNCH

BM BURN - 3458

INTAKE - 2327

BALANCE - -1131

MACROS - PRO - 186g, CARB - 117g, FAT 126g



DAY 57

I was meant to work out today but my quads had the worst DOMS in existence. I know im being a pussy but im at a loss at what to do with my legs atm (workout wise only obv lol). As long as I get 3 weight sessions and one bodycombat in in a week then I am fine :)

NUMBER CRUNCH

BM BURN - 3250

INTAKE - 1869

BALANCE - -1381

MACROS - PRO - 193g, CARB - 97g, FAT - 81g



DAY 58

Second weight training session since deload. So I get there and there is my nemesis in the squat rack. The PT who uses the squat rack for EVERYTHING apart from squats. I start with rows.

ROWS

20kg x5
30kg x7
35kg x5
40kg x5
40kg x5
40kg x5

So it starts off well, new PB on my row and I think I can bump up the weight next time! My upper body loved the deload.

OHP

20kg x5
25kg x5
25kg x5
25kg x5

Improved my press by 1kg LOL. Which im taking because its been stalled for ages.

SQUATS

okay so I had 10 mins to do my squats because I had to then shoot off to work. This was never going to end well.

20kg x6
40kg x5
60kg x5

thats all I got to do because otherwise I would have been late for work. The frustrating thing is that I COULD have done way more but I had to spend 10 mins cleaning up the weights after the PT. Till saturday squats till saturday.

NUMBER CRUNCH

BM BURN - 3099

INTAKE - 2063

BALANCE - -1036

MACROS - PRO - 211g, CARB - 168g, FAT - 60.3g



DAY 59

Is today! Planning to have a major rest day and eat at maintanence. I will update later and hope everyone is having a lovely Friday!

[womanoid]

So yeah I hit a personal best on my bench! I was able to raise the weight for the first time in an AGE. BENCH, YOU ARE THE NEW SQUAT. Jokes. squat I love you please come back.

lol

So envious of your burn & intake. You also have some purdy looking macros.

[WithTheFight]

lol

So envious of your burn & intake. You also have some purdy looking macros.

Im a little bit taller and a lot bigger than you, so already my burn is going to be bigger! How are you liking the BM though, all in all? I find it keeps me in check and my treats can be treats but not epic feasts.

I hope my macros work a little better for me. Im really worried about my squat and I want to build some serious muscle so I hope that Im getting enough for those purposes!



DAY 59 CTD

So class, we can establish that rest day + first day of TOM = calorific surplus

Hardly groundbreaking but thats what happened today!

NUMBER CRUNCH

BM BURN - 2406

INTAKE - 2735

BALANCE - +329

MACROS - PRO - 253g, CARB - 202g, FAT 104g



DAY 60

I was working today and couldnt squeeze my workout in anywhere so I postponed it till tomorrow. As long as I hit the weights 3x a week I dont really care when it happens.

NUMBER CRUNCH

BM BURN - 3229

INTAKE - 2139

BALANCE - 1090

MACROS - PRO - 222g, CARB - 151g, FAT 77g



DAY 61


My day off I was meant to go to bodycombat as well as weights but working all week had tired me out so the weights got my full attention. On my way to the weights I saw the bodycombat class working out in the studio. It made me sad lol.


SQUAT

20kg x8
40kg x5
60kg x5
62.5kg x5
60kg x5

My form is returning! I was happy with these form wise, its still tight when I reach the bottom but I guess Im going to have to work my way back up again. At least 60kg felt manageable and not like I was going to die like last time.

BENCH

20kg x8
30kg x5
37.5kg x6
37.5kg x3
37.5kg x2

I should have been able to do three sets of 6 but I was thrown off by this boy asking me if I had finished with the bench. I was far from finished (on set 2) but I said I was nearly done. Consequently i rushed myself with terrible form and didnt have enough rest between sets. Im an idiot. I shouldnt have rushed. I waited ages to get on the bench in the first place.

DEADLIFT

50kg x5
72.5kg x5

only saving grace is my deadlift which went up 2.5kg with room to go up a lot more. It felt good.

NUMBER CRUNCH

BM BURN - 2846

INTAKE - 1877

BALANCE - -1131

MACROS - PRO - 182g, CARB - 158g, FAT 56g



DAY 62

I had a day off so I went out with a friend for tea at this tea boutique place. We ended up getting cream teas (british tradition thing) where you get a pot of rare tea of your choice and a three tier cake stand full of cakes. Yes, I did not plan for this. I thought were were only drinking! This is what pushed my cals up so dramatically. It was good though but I dont like unplanned treats, Id rather have a slice of cheesecake over cakes anyday.

Afterwards we went to an area of the city where all these specilaist shops are. Including a specialist chocolate shop. Yes. I may have bough some chocolate. Luckily I didnt have that much money on me, but Im going back in future to build my chocolate stash. They have soem chocolate flavors I have never seen - lemon and poppyseed white chocolate, mmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

NUMBER CRUNCH

BM BURN - 3033

INTAKE - 2922

BALANCE - -111

MACROS - PRO - 213g, CARB - 227g, FAT 135g



DAY 63

First workout of the week. I went to the gym at 8pm. Never again. It was so busy. For rows and OHP i had to use fixed weights instead of the oly bar. Also I was majorly distracted - there were all these swole guys. And then there was me. Too much going on! There was a queue for the squat rack so I started with OHP

OHP

20kg x5
25kg x5
25kg x6
25kg x6

ROWS

25kg x8
35kg x5
40kg x5
40kg x8
40kg x7

SQUAT

by this time the gym had become quiet so it was just me and my squat rack. Even so my, ahem, attentions were elsewhere.... I swear was there like a muscle calender shoot going on at my gym or something!??!?!?!

20kg x5
40kg x5
60kg x5
60kg x3
50kg x15

I dont know whats going on with my squat. Its like im having to teach myself to squat since coming back from my deload. My body is annoying its either my upper body or lower body not cooperating at the same time - my lower body always won out but with my increase in rows and bench now my upper body is progressing...

I am going to start working out super early in the mornings. Its the only way i can regain the focus that i had at the start of this journal. There always seems to be a distraction or excuse in the past month or so. Gym time is precious, I need to go harder, I want to lift more weight.

NUMBER CRUNCH

BM BURN - 3474

INTAKE - 2120

BALANCE - -1354

MACROS - PRO - 201g, CARB - 120g, FAT 96g



DAY 64

Is today! Cardio day for the first time in three weeks! I am attending bodycombat (we so so excited) omg I am so ready for it. I missed it so much. Ever since I did deload I have prioritised weight training so thats why I havnt done it for so long it would interfere with resting. Going to go so hard and get really sweaty! Bring it!

[WithTheFight]

DAY 71

So much for regular posting...

Its been exactly a week since I last journaled but Ive been to the gym and my macros have been in order. I dont know why but I have just been feeling down for the past week. No reason to be and no excuse for it. I guess I am oncemore being impatient, I want my goal body already! I havnt weighed myself since deload, I am so petrified of the scale its rediculous! My clothes are lose on me and I can see definition in my arms (:D) but I just cant get on that scale in case it tells me something different - even though I feel I am equipped with enough knowledge by now to rationalise it! Going to have to weigh in sometime though...

Im not going to post all my workouts because that would be boring but ill do an update (all weights are three sets of 5 apart from dead):

SQUAT

60kg - so I decided to reset my squat. It saddens me to go this low weight wise but my form was just not cutting it since I injured myself stretching (only I could do this). But in three more sessions I should be back to my 70kg - just need to accept it mentally more than anything else

BENCH

37.5kg - still at this weight, it feels crazily heavy and the last rep nearly kills me, only time (and moar protein) is going to get me up to 40kg.

DEADLIFT

77.5kg - still progressing but oh god 77.5kg felt really heavy. Not sure whether to focus on form for next session or try the 80kg... Also grip is beginning to become a problem, I tried mixed grip but it made it harder (?!) I dont think I was doing it right, need to research this... my legs were feeling it on the walk home from the gym though...

OHP

25kg - its getting easier! I did go up to 27.5 but only managed 3.5 reps... In time it will come

ROWS

42.5kg - still progressing! going for 45kg next time I think, Ill see how my form is... I actually love rows now!


MACROS - WEEKLY AVERAGE

2105 CAL - PRO - 210g, CARB - 130g, FAT - 95g


LIFE

Work is going well, I work with a great bunch of really different people and I like the work itself, still havnt actually made any coffee though... I am getting paid on Friday and I am going to FINALLY get new workout clothes. I wear the same thing to the gym every day (I do wash the clothes dont worry) but the staff must think its my second skin or something! Also I am going to get some new whey and casein - all brand/flavour suggestions welcome! I have been eating 600g of beef a day (offer in super market) and lots of milk because money has been tight and Im beginning to tire of it lol.. the protein powders should help me get that last 25g or so that are so hard to get.

Its bodycombat today WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I told one of the gym staff of my secret obsession to become a BC instructor and he said to go for it and that had I ever thought of becoming a personal trainer... I was like "....no" apart of me wanted to say "have you seen my body its a mess lol" but i refrained.

A lot more muscle needs to be built before I become a BC instructor, September is my goal time to start the training for it and sometimes that is all that drives me.

Hope everyone is well :)

[WithTheFight]

DAY 72

Great BC yesterday, it was amazing... like all of my favourite bodycombat tracks ever in one mix!

Going to hit the weights today for second SS workout this week and then some bodycombat afterwards, I know I shouldnt but I miss it so much, it makes me happy! Anyways Ive been a lazy bum looking at all the ice cream/peanut butter threads on here and its making me want to relocate to America. We have a lot of choice here but seriously someone in the UK is missing a great business opportunity to import in peanut butter & co into this country! Also we only have like 5 flavours of ben and jerrys and our greek yogurt costs a bomb! WTF UK WTF.

[WithTheFight]

DAY 76

My love of bodycombat overpowered my love of weighlifting last week... I did 2x bodycombat and only 2x weight training and too many rest days! Also we are doing the new realease this week and its meant to kick ass. I AM SO EXCITED. Also in bodymedia news I hit a new PR burn of 3555 that was one non stop day though. Too much cardio though not enough weights that will change this week!

This week is going to be crazy - Im working more hours than usual so workout time will be even more precious. Hopefully if everything goes well I should be going for 80kg deadlift this week!

In pyscho news I went to a screening appointment for grouo therapy ED so im on the waiting list. Average waiting time is 3 months (this is after a 3 month wait for a referal from my gp to get the screening appointment...) LOL, love you NHS. Its understandable though I mean im definately not where I was 3 years ago where Id be a wreck every single day, Im not a danger to myself anymore I just need practical coping skills when the shizz hits the fan. I would say myself that im recovered and 3 months ago I had a relapse and I had to take time out to stop myself from regressing. At this moment in time, Im content I have goals but more importantly I am actually equipped with knowledge about how to achive them thanks to this forum. People deal with stress in different ways alcohol, promiscuity, drugs, self harm and for me its been abusing food. Even though Im fine right now when Im at home and in my comfort zone Im going to have to go back to uni come feb and I need to be able to deal with all the feelings of inadequacy that I have felt there in the past. So Im in for the wait until therapy, the NHS has been so good to me in the past and I wouldnt be where I am now without them. Makes me proud to be british :)

This forum has changed me for the better in so many ways! Its actually crazy how my goal body image has shifted dramatically. I used to want to be a skinny waif to now wanting to be muscle bound and athletic! Im really grateful. I can only hope to learn more.

I havnt been able to help our economy out of recession by spending my wages as I never got paid! Apparently for new staff they hold your first set of wages and then pay you in a lump sum, so I have two more weeks to wait until I can buy some casein and new workout clothes! I am in dire need of some casein/whey 190g protein is hard to get some days - I literally had to force feed myself a massive trout today LOL. At least im never hungry! I think I have finally worked out what works best for me macro wise - high protein, highish fat and lowish carbs. Id choose nuts over some biscuits any day! High protein is def yielding results, when I flex I actually have little bicepts and tricepts! Also in bodycombat cooldown when I was stretching my hamstrings I felt something firm.. at first I was like WTF IS THAT then I realised it was muscle lol. Still not weighed myself I think Im going to take pics at the weekend, to see whats going on with my body and also cause Im sick of not having an avi. Everyones avis around here are amazing though, muscles galore, I dont have that yet so, I dont know what to do lol

I know I havnt posted my macros or burn Ill start that again tomorrow, Ive been keeping myself in line though no overeating here! Dont know whats up with me tonight but I am usuing exclamation marks to excess in this post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[womanoid]

Woo, feeling hard muscles is almost as good as seeing them. Lol, the firmer you get the more often you'll start gropping your shoulder, arms & legs :p


NHS is pretty cool, even though the wait is ridiculous in some cases, at least people eventually GET to see a professional. I had called an inpatient place after 2 horrific weeks because I was desperate. If you're paying out of pocket, no insurance help, it's $800/day. Minimum stay is 15 days ($12,000). Average stay is 90 days ($72,000).

And it's no guarantee. Jeez, I would literally kill myself if I spent $72,000 & wasn't able to recover. Not only am I probably going to be in a mental hell for the rest of my life, but I have debt to go with it?! No, thank you.

Whoops, little bit of a rant.


That's fantastic that you haven't been bingeing. It sounds like you'll definitely be able to hold on until treatment :)

[WithTheFight]

DAY 77

Went to gym before work today, wow morning workouts are the way to go!

DEADLIFTS

squat rack was in use so I started with deads.

1x5 60kg
1x5 80kg

80KG BABY. This kept me happy all day, I made loads of mistakes at work but it didnt matter because I got the 80kg!! Whenever I got a huffy customer or whatever I just thought to myself I deadlifted 80kg this morning ANDDDDDDDDDDD IT FELT GOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDD *jim carey*.

OHP

should have done bench but it was in use and i was pushed for time and I never get to focus on OHP normally I rush it.

5x 20kg
5x 25kg
7x 25kg
8x 25kg

SQUAT

So squats are still hating on me. Really hacked off with my form its beyond a joke. Maybe do a vid I dunno.

5x 20kg
5x 40kg
5x 60kg
5x 60kg
5x 60kg

Good workout lots of cals burned extra square of chocolate for me :)


Woo, feeling hard muscles is almost as good as seeing them. Lol, the firmer you get the more often you'll start gropping your shoulder, arms & legs :p


If thats true then I dont know how half the people on this site ever type anything, when they could be constantly groping their muscle clad bodies!?!


NHS is pretty cool, even though the wait is ridiculous in some cases

NHS is cool and when I was a mess they sorted me out fast. Im very thankful, reading peoples posts on here about whether their insurance covers *insert ailment here* has definately reinforced this.


And it's no guarantee. Jeez, I would literally kill myself if I spent $72,000 & wasn't able to recover. Not only am I probably going to be in a mental hell for the rest of my life, but I have debt to go with it?! No, thank you.

I think id need more therapy to combat the stress and anxiety of being forever in debt.... then id be even more stressed... then id need more therapy... there is no way out!



That's fantastic that you haven't been bingeing. It sounds like you'll definitely be able to hold on until treatment :)

RIGHT BACK AT YOU, LOL.

[WithTheFight]

Still here, training has been going well and so has my diet yet day to day life isnt going that well.

Dont know what I can do about it though. Just in a negative slump really and at a loss of how to come back from this.

I think I need to meet more people who have more similar interests and goals to mine. Cause I feel like the odd one out right now.

[WithTheFight]

DAY 84

^ That is what being sleep deprived, minimal carbs and stressed looks like... I need to start looking after myself a bit more.

The thing I have learnt about carbs is that I need them! I had been relatively low carb not on purpose but more because I really like my fats high but it came to the point where I really needed a bowl of cereal STAT otherwise I would go crazy. Increasing carbs most definately over next few days.

Ive had today and yesterday off work and man did I need the break! I pretty much slept, slept some more then I had another sleep... Things have been non stop for the past 3 weeks so when I finally got a chance to pause my body just crashed.

Made it to the gym today, here is what went down:

SQUAT

20kg x5
40kg x5
60kg x2
65kg x5
65kg x5
65kg x5

SO HAPPY. Back up to 65kg on my squat and for once I was happy with my technique and I wasnt struggling with the bar on my back. Last set was my best set! Felt like old times!

BENCH

20kg x5
30kg x5
35kg x5
37.5kg x7
37.5kg x7
37.5kg x7

I think I may be ready to attempt 40kg... about frickin time!

DEADLIFT

Omg I was like dying.

60kg x5
80kg x1
82.5kg x5

That was seriously tough bananas. Grip wise I managed to do the first rep of 82.5 overhand then I had to switch to mixed grip. I dont like mixed grip, dont know if Im allowed chalk though. Think im going to stay at this weight as the form on my last rep was atrocious.

I am seeing progress in the mirror and it feels good :) The last week it has felt as if I was going through the motions regarding training and nutrition. I feel I have a renewed vigour now. Over the weekend Im going to make a protein cheesecake and some protein bars to make hitting my macros easier. Plans. I has them.

[WithTheFight]

Oh man. For the past seven days I have been ill, had a really bad viral flu thing - cramping, crippling nausea, aches and pains everywhere, fever, dizziness and well lets just say my bowl movements have been less than ordinary. Thought it was something more serious because any medicine I took had no effect so I went to the doctors who gave me some stonger stuff. Im still not 100% I have zero appetite and a little bit of pain but wow that little bout of illness helped me appreciate how good being healthy feels! I was basically writhing in pain whilst watching wimbledon on tv for the week lol.


Made it to the gym on monday but I was no where near full strength I just did deadlifts and benched. Squats were a no show because i felt a little sick.

Feeling well enough to go to bodycombat tonight for the first time in two weeks! My work schedule and illness has kept me away. Im so excited. Then tomorrow I lift!

I decided that Im not going to be a slave to the scale. I know my body well enough now that I can see changes. Before I got ill I was seeing such good progress with my body! I was really proud of myself for the first time in a long while. I think in a month ill post progress pics. Im more determined now than ever. The scale is a complete mindfuk for me, I dont know why a number should determine my relative happiness. In a way I feel released.

In whey/casein news, I bought a crapload of whey and casein because I felt bad on requesting so much meat whenever my mum went shopping. Food is really expensive right now and although ill still be eating a lot of meat whey just makes getting the last 50g so much easier.

Hope everyone is well and progressing.

[lishe]

My bench is stalled, too and my OHP is not going anywhere, lol. I have been incrementing bench by 5lbs but discovered we have 1.25 lb plates, yay!!

[WithTheFight]

My bench is stalled, too and my OHP is not going anywhere, lol. I have been incrementing bench by 5lbs but discovered we have 1.25 lb plates, yay!!

Hey there! OHP is just completely frustrating, at least with bench I feel/know that eventually the weight will go up - I can feel the lifting potential! With OHP I get drained so easily and Im normally just happy its over with and on to the next. Rarely do I think to myself "wow that was an epic OHP" whilst with deads and squats when you do a good set its amazing! I think my problem is I need to eat more protein, Im up to 200g a day now so hopefully some of my numbers will shift.

Just had a quick look at your journal and Im totally subbed! Looks like a good read and well, Im there for the journey! Havnt had time to read it all as I just saw it in your sig now and Im just about to go out for drinks but in the meantime please proceed with getting swole :)