My girlfriend needs help

[Stickbhoy]

Hi girls,

I know i should not be posting here but my girlfriend needs help and i reckon you guys are the best people to help me out. Firstly i would just like to say that i really admire female b/b's. You should be given more credit.

When i met my girlfriend she weighed 126lbs at 5'2. After 4 years of unhealthy eating and lack of excercise she now weighs 152lbs. She is so depressed over her weight that its starting to affect me. The problem is she has started doing cardio 4 days a week and is eating very healthy(thanks to me) but she is not seeing the results.

I have tried to give her advise but because i am constantly bulking and trying to get bigger she will not listen to me. She will not eat any fat because no matter what i tell her she is convinced all fat is bad. She dosent like most foods that are high in protien so all she eats is carbs. She is getting so bad that she keeps skipping meals thinking she will lose weight this way and only eating twice a day.

Can anyone help me out here. Should she put some resistance training into her w/o? Please reply cos i am gonna show her your replies and hopefully she will listen to experienced Women.

[Hibiscus09]

Hi, I'm 5'4", 40 years old (yikes) and have lifted for 5 years. I have 16% bodyfat which is pretty good for a woman & weigh 117. I eat: 5 times a day, every 2 1/2 to 3 hours. 1,500 calories a day, at least 1 gram of protein (usually a little more) per each pound I weigh, 25 fat grams, carbs go anywhere from 125-175 (I cycle them higher & lower). I supplement with protein shakes, a multivitamin, vitamin C&E, & glutamine. I cycle lifting between heavy & light days & do cardio 35 minutes before breakfast 4 to 5 times a week. I'm no expert, but I hope this helps. I just hired a trainer & he suggested I go just a little lower on the calories, a little higher on the fat & use ZMA. I'm also considering buying Lipoderm-Y for one little problem area on my left thigh that doesn't want to leave me. :) Finally, in my experience when I tried to eliminate almost all fat from my diet, I was hungry all the time.

[Dorian]

I know this question is directed at the females but ..... in my opinion a keto diet is the way to go. It will fill the belly and allow you o burn your ownfat quickly. When done right followed with a cardio session the pounds should go away rather quickly and safely. I recomend it to anyone wanting to lose fat. Read the article I wrote about myself and How I weighed in at massive pooundage all fat.

[fitnessman]

Bump....After 5 kids my wife was a fatty....With a keto diet and really very little exercise....she's a hottie again!

[CR best trainer]

Keto diets are not bad for some circumstances, but for long term results I would shy away from them. At some point we all begin to binge and those carbs will hop on real fast to fat after prolonged use of the Keto diet.First off lets state all diets work.All that it takes is a drop in calories to a level below your needs.Dietary Ketosis, whether or not it leads to ketoacidosis, is not a desirable state to stay in. Thats because it has been shown to be a starvation state, and at least in the state of constant ketosis your muscle and liver glycogen stores are depleted. This has been shown to be not all bad in that many recent studies have shown that performance at these levels is still higher than than the higher carb diets and higher initial glycogen stores. The Metabolic Diet finds the happy medium between the two and allows you to lower your dietary carbs to allow you to use fat for energy, sparing the lower levels of glycogen, but more importantly,sparing the use of AMINO ACIDS which is where the two diets differ the most. The purpose of the Metabolic diet is to help people to titrate(add just enough carbs) themselves so that the dietary intake of carbs is no more or no less than they need to function optimally but still enjoy the glycogen and the amino acids that help allow you oxidize fat and keep all the muscle. You can read about this and all the research to support Mauro Di Pasquale at www.AllProTraining.com

[fitnessman]

This is complete crap. Ketoacidosis is a condition suffered by some diabetics.

ketogenic diets work peroid..... If not go to my website www.paymealot.com...geeeze!

It is crap like you spew, with little education that pisses me off. If you want to compare credentials.......I dare you!

RARELY, will I stand up and say that! But if you want to talk crap.....you came to the wrong place.

[Dorian]

Now I have two ways to go here fitnessman, First one I could argue and prove a point... the second one I can show a link to prove it for me...........What to do?????
O.K here is what I will do.... First off, ketoacidosis is a diabetic conditon caused by carbohydrate disorders. Do we need proof? easy I have one of many links you can visit to see for your self and make your own judgement. But I am sure when all is said and Done Fitnessman will be right.
here is the link:
http://www.merck.com/pubs/mmanual/section2/chapter13/13b.htm

now read it from top to bottom understand what it has to say and If you need more let me know. I figure this will save us all alot of grief.

[Hibiscus09]

She's not a bodybuilder. She just wants to be fit. Why all the keto crap? What's wrong with having a healthy balance with a normal diet? Why suggest a keto diet and say not much exercise? Tell her to eat healthy & exercise! I did find the Metabolic Diet site interesting. It's not so drastic & seems a healthier alternative for losing weight.

[Dorian]

First define Healthier......... secondly, this diet is designed in a way where women benefit from it better then men at times. Now if you want to look at health aspects we can exchange issues. But to say keto crap is demeaning. Now when a diet is recommended it is a given that a person should exercise also. I really get tired of guys talking about this stuff and putting it down all the time. Have you ever really tried keto diet? have you gotten any blood work done while on one? I will tell you I did and my doctor was amazed how I improved health wise. So when You come here and tell people it is crap, I think you better do more research first.I have done research and have tested it on individuals and found the health isssue to be better than when they started this diet.

But then again what do I know????????

[joehagyHH]

obviously nothing dorian....:)

[fitnessman]

As a nutritionist and a bodybuilder I can and do recommend keto diets to all types of people. Bodybuilder or not.

[Hibiscus09]

I'm sorry if my using the word "crap" offended you. Fitnessman got away with it, but I'm sure that's because he agrees with you. I suppose I would define healthier as being more conducive to good health. :) In any event, I think the best kind of diet for someone who is not planning to bodybuild & just wants to develop a healthy lifestyle would be a balanced diet. Finally, no I have not tried a Keto diet -- I eat a healthy balanced diet and am at a good weight and bodyfat%.

[fitnessman]

I got away with calling crap, crap because those of us in the know, know crap when we see it.

People pay me for diets......It infuriates me when people bash something and dont know and they dont know they dont know.

First of all, I have more people on carb based diets than fat based....But overall for even the general public(non weight trainers) ketogenic diets are highly effective......There is no argument that someone can make that the facts are less true.

I share my knowledge here as I can. When someone attempts to make a weak argument, with no facts, I cant help but pointing that out.

But then again, you could always ask the ton of people that have lost a ton of fat from this website that I have helped. From competition bodybuilders to the desk jockey.

Nutrition knowledge doubles every 2 years...The food pryamid is wrong.

[Dorian]

actually fitnessman gets way with nothing because he agrees with me, If he is wrong we argue like crazy. but of course I gotta confess he is a close freind.
But when you say a healthier diet really perplexes me.According to most studies have been clinically performed , most illnesses are carb related. Diabetes is caused by excessive carb intake at most times, of course some have a issue they are born with. carbs can be related to obesity, carbs can be related to thyroid related disorders and pancreatic disorders. I can give you a plethora of carb related problems, But I also find it interesting that doctors are finally starting to advocate keto diets. guess you may be right, a healthy diet is consisting of carbs and fats and proteins together? ok I have a argument on that one too.But I will wait to see what you do by the way of response.

[Hibiscus09]

I didn't suggest that she take in an excessive amount of carbohydrates. You guys have way too much testosterone going on. :) I simply stated what works for me and that I didn't think a keto diet was what she needed. It's just my opinion & I'm sure you're convinced it's an uneducated one from reading your responses. In any event, I rest my case. I hope you guys remain friends for life & have a wonderful Valentine's Day! I plan on eating excessive carbohydrates & then working them off later in the evening.

[Dorian]

Now why would you want to go and get pissed? I am under the assumption that you do not enjoy debates?
As fo the valentines day crack, I think that was uncalled for.
as for uneducated, Well I never assumed that at all, this was your statement, I was just looking for a good debate.

[Hibiscus09]

There you go with the testosterone again. I wasn't pissed -- I was kidding. The well wishes for Valentine's were sincere.

[Dorian]

I am sorry I thought that you were a guy trying to make a wise crack. I just checked out your profile.

[Hibiscus09]

I checked & they're 35-25-35, so I guess I'm not. :) Actually, I really am going out for Valentine's with my sweetie & doing the high carb thing & other stuff. . . . I really was just wishing you a happy Valentine's Day. I do enjoy a good debate & I'm sure there's a lot I can learn from reading what you guys have to say on this site. I've enjoyed it so far. Take care.

[joehagyHH]

fitness man gets away with saying crap because first we all know eachother ... and second..... he knows what he is talking about. both him and dorian know a hell of a lot about keto diets.

[seattlenancy]

It is important to know what sort of cardio your girlfriend is doing. If her heart rate is not getting high enough, and she only exercises for 30 minutes, she many not be burning that many calories. Cardio, not weight training, is the key to losing weight. Resistance training will get her more toned, and thus increase her lean body mass, but for straight weight loss goals, running, cycling, stair climbing (and other highly aerobic activies)
are the key. She might want to bump up her sessions to 40 minutes, three or four times a week. I do cardio every day. She should check her heart rate (or get a heart rate monitor) to make sure she is exercising at the appropriate intensity.

Diet: No starvation diet works, not in the long term. She should keep a journal and count calories, esp. those from fat. A diet 20 percent in fat would be good. Ten percent is excessively low. If she can eliminate refined sugar and alcohol, that's a great way to eliminate "empty" calories. Also, she should have a "cheat day," one day a week where she treats herself. Without that, she will do as all of us do on strict diets: crash and burn.

Remember the simple formula for weight loss: burn more calories than you consume. If she maintains weight at say 2000 calories per day, she needs to cut back to fewer than that.

[Nicole]

In my opinion, no single factor alone will help in the weight loss battle. You need a combination of cardio, proper nutrition including supplementation, resistance training, and proper sleeping habits.

Cardio and diet alone will probably make one lose weight but it will not change the shape of one's body. If all your girlfriend is after is to make a change to the numbers on the scale, that is fine. If she wants to change the shape of her body she NEEDS to weight train! That is the only way to redefine the body and cause a noticable change in shape.

Adding more muscle will in turn boost her metabolism thus causing her to burn more calories than if she didn't weight train. I have and always will be an advocate for female bodybuilding.

If I am wrong, someone correct me.

[Hibiscus09]

I agree. I did aerobics for a long time before I started bodybuilding & never saw much change. It's amazing what lifting weights does as far as changing one's shape. I do think cardio is needed, I do mine before breakfast, but I do think too much is a bad thing & will make you lose muscle mass. Scheduling rest times is important -- a body needs time to recuperate.

[cjszip]

hmm...well i didnt read everyone's post, so sorry if i repeat somthing other's have already said

protein- nessasary, she needs this, if she hates meat, go for nonfat cottege cheese, plain non fat yogurt and add some kind of fruit to the yogurt, protein supplements, and most people like chicken- at least 45

carbohydrates- nessasary in smaller amounts because if you lack carbs your body may begin to burn protein for energy and then your metabolism can slow down due to losing muscle mass stay away from sugar carbs though, try to go for wheat, cereal, rice and oatmeal- above 35 complex carbs daily

fat- absultly nessasary, fat is nessasary but only in healthy foods, in most healthy foods, they are called essential fatty acids which actually help boost metabolism, lacking these will slow metabolism, reduce GH, and make losing weight harder- around 25-35 gms daily

saturated fat- bad- low, around 10 gms

water- nessasary for food/fat metabolism, if you are dehydrated, your liver trys to help your kidneys get rid of the junk that accumulates in your body and there for your liver cant oxidize/metabolize fat properly- at least a half gallon a day

sodium- causes excess water retention in fat cells, but is still nessasary to maintain proper water ballance in the body, sodium should be around 1000 mg daily

thermogenics- not untill she has a diet and is drinking enough water, many people have had serious side effects because they were dehydrated and werent eating enough, not seeing results....and then taking a thermogenic, and ending up with serious complications, these can stress adrenol glands and some muscles, so if you're not eating a proper diet you end up running your body on stimulants, these naturally have side effects for alot of people anyway, depression, insomnia, frusteration, nearvous ness and shakes, this also stresses the CNS (centural nearvous system)- not untill she's following a healthy diet

a sound, proper diet with exersize and plenty of water is what will give her the results, she's not seeing results cuz she's eating so infreequently, spread the foods over a period of 6 hours, eat every 2.5 to 3 hours, and she'll be fine, by not eating you stress everything, and you make it very un-pleasant.....well, i hope this helps and i'm sorry if this is such a late reply, and sorry if i said somthing along the lines of what someone else said

[Stickbhoy]

Id just like to thank everyone who has posted a reply to this post.I am very impressed by the response. I think i will start to post questions in the female bodybuilders forum cos i dont get half the replies she got.

I showed my girlfriend all the replies and she has taken everything in and is ready to start again with a new training schedule and new diet. She has asked me to thank you all and to tell you she appreciates the help you have given.

[Stickbhoy]

Just for arguments sake she is not going to use this keto diet that you guys are talking about.

Im not saying is dosent work cos i belive it does but for some reason i dont feel that she needs to go to that extreme.

In my opinion it should be used as a last resort.

[cjszip]

well glad we could help, with the diet run-threw i listed above it should give a rather ballanced diet for the adverage person, a keto diet is great, and i will say that it works amazingly.....but for the first time dieter i wouldnt really recomend it, my friend's parrents used it and lost a ton of weight, but had no idea how to keep it off after going into a maintaince diet, so i figured i'd list some stuff, hope it helped!

[mssixpack56]

don't worry about posting in the women's forum. I post in the men's all the time and no one cares.

I'm no paid spokesperson for this but have done Body for Life for over a year. Basically it is a 40/40/20 protein/carb/fat ratio of six small meals per day and six days of workout per week. I've tweaked the program somewhat now that I'm more advanced in the bodybuilding aspect. You can buy the book and follow it to the letter for twelve weeks and see how she does. It may only take 12 weeks following it by the book to lose back down to what she was. It's addictive though and since I've been unable to get off the merry go round low bodyfat and large muscles have resulted. Good luck with your efforts

[DefiKojiro]

Keto is da ****. It works and is easy to stick with.

[cjszip]

even easier with some 5-HTP....lol

[KrAzY_bLoNd3]

I know how she feels, in high school I was about 125-130 at 5'3" and slowly started to go up, it settled around 140, and then when I switched to a desk job it went all the way to my highest weight of my life @ 168 (this was jan of this year) now I am at 148, which is better but not where I want to be, and the sad thing is I was down to 138, back in july, and slumped back into my old bad habits and quickly added on 10lbs. The best advice I can give you to give your girlfriend is watch what you eat. Counting calories and eating balanced meals it the best thing in my opinion. If she is already doing cardio and going to the gym then she is already on the right track, but skipping meals is going to sabotage any good the gym is doing. In our heads we think no food = no fat... well thats right but wrong... Its right because year you wont gain if you dont eat, but its wrong because unless you plan to never eat again it will cause you to gain faster, and make it harder to lose. When we starve our bodies, they go into survival mode, and will hold on to all the fat it can, because if your body does not have fat to burn for fuel, it will burn protien and protien is your muscles, and without muscles you will burn less and less calories. So I suggest she eat 5 small meals a day... Breakfast around 300 calories make sure to include some dairy, then have a snack around 100-150 calories, an apple or a yogurt or something like that, then have a lunch around 300 calories and then another snack, and then dinner around 300, eat as many green vegies as you want, but try to go easy on starchy vegies. Water is your friend too, drink as much as you can, the more the better it keeps your metabolism going and your inners clean. I do know how your gf feels and really no matter what you say is going to change how she feels, she needs to find it on her own... hope this is helpful.

-K

[Emma-Leigh]

I know how she feels, in high school I was about 125-130 at 5'3" and slowly started to go up, it settled around 140, and then when I switched to a desk job it went all the way to my highest weight of my life @ 168 (this was jan of this year) now I am at 148, which is better but not where I want to be, and the sad thing is I was down to 138, back in july, and slumped back into my old bad habits and quickly added on 10lbs. The best advice I can give you to give your girlfriend is watch what you eat. Counting calories and eating balanced meals it the best thing in my opinion. If she is already doing cardio and going to the gym then she is already on the right track, but skipping meals is going to sabotage any good the gym is doing. In our heads we think no food = no fat... well thats right but wrong... Its right because year you wont gain if you dont eat, but its wrong because unless you plan to never eat again it will cause you to gain faster, and make it harder to lose. When we starve our bodies, they go into survival mode, and will hold on to all the fat it can, because if your body does not have fat to burn for fuel, it will burn protien and protien is your muscles, and without muscles you will burn less and less calories. So I suggest she eat 5 small meals a day... Breakfast around 300 calories make sure to include some dairy, then have a snack around 100-150 calories, an apple or a yogurt or something like that, then have a lunch around 300 calories and then another snack, and then dinner around 300, eat as many green vegies as you want, but try to go easy on starchy vegies. Water is your friend too, drink as much as you can, the more the better it keeps your metabolism going and your inners clean. I do know how your gf feels and really no matter what you say is going to change how she feels, she needs to find it on her own... hope this is helpful.

-K
You do realise this was posted in 2002, right? ;)

[Riptrition]

Hibiscus09 had a great response. "Healthy" diet is the key; I hear the word "Diet" and think unsustainable weight loss. You need to find a nutrition plan designed for females and that matches her body type and even blood type.

1. Keep a log of all food and exercise for the current routine for 1 week. And continue to keep this, you have to track everything and count all calories in and out in the beginning, don't worry it becomes natural after while.

2. Meet with nutritionist (possibly covered by healthcare insurance or student health centers) and find regular easy to prepare foods that are your staple or base of food. I eat turkey, chicken, yogurt (plain no added sugar but add fresh or frozen fruit), and milk (skim or 1%). All easy to make and can be pretty tasty. This may be the hardest part, but finding healthy foods you also like will help greatly, so search the grocery store high and low. Also this is tough.... give up booze for at least 6 weeks (it works but real hard). It also sounds like carbs might be keeping the weight on, remember all excess carbs get converted into fat for storage and you need to get to recommended daily amounts. Don't cut out all fat, just keep focused on the "good" fats in fish and nuts. Change the attitude from "fat is bad" to "saturated fat is bad". My gf tried to cut out all fat and ended up eating excess carbs because she was hungry all the time.

3. Set up a routine for working out, but do different exercises each time.
e.g. write down 21 different 15min exercises (stair master, pushes up, lunges, crunches, etc) and do a different group of 3-4 everyday so you never do the same workout twice. Workout plans like p90x do this for you, but with a little research you can do this yourself. I like p90x a lot, but most women will want to do the "lean" version.

4. Mix in yoga, helps with strength, flexibility, burns calories, and I think it greatly helps with mental health.

5. Take a multivitamin! I know this seems to be my mission in life, but if working out a lot you simply need a multivitamin. It is hard to impossible to get all the vitamins and minerals you need form food (should say its impossible unless you love vegetables). And most are not designed for athletes or people that work out a lot. Google "Riptrition", it is one of the best on the market now. This will help with mood, decrease colds, and provided greater energy. I personally don't endorse the "fat burners" (that enhance metabolism) although I know people that have had ok results. Definitely stay away from diet pills, basically are speed. Short cuts only set you back in the long term.

Finally, good luck, nothing worth having in life comes easy. Set up a 3 or 6 month goal and stay the course as it take time to do it the right way.




Hi girls,

I know i should not be posting here but my girlfriend needs help and i reckon you guys are the best people to help me out. Firstly i would just like to say that i really admire female b/b's. You should be given more credit.

When i met my girlfriend she weighed 126lbs at 5'2. After 4 years of unhealthy eating and lack of excercise she now weighs 152lbs. She is so depressed over her weight that its starting to affect me. The problem is she has started doing cardio 4 days a week and is eating very healthy(thanks to me) but she is not seeing the results.

I have tried to give her advise but because i am constantly bulking and trying to get bigger she will not listen to me. She will not eat any fat because no matter what i tell her she is convinced all fat is bad. She dosent like most foods that are high in protien so all she eats is carbs. She is getting so bad that she keeps skipping meals thinking she will lose weight this way and only eating twice a day.

Can anyone help me out here. Should she put some resistance training into her w/o? Please reply cos i am gonna show her your replies and hopefully she will listen to experienced Women.