Getting Old

[BJplayer]

It's Hll to be Old
OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet!

An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.

'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.

'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.'

The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your
neighbor?'

The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.'

[kademrulz]

LMAO

I should have seen it coming but I still laughed

[Keltron]

LMFAO! and even if they did get the jar open, I dont think any of them would have the energy left to do anything that would result in any kind of fluid secretion.

[DanielBeauchamp]

Haha I heard this one before...

[Brackneyc]

Home > Jokes > Old Age Jokes > An Old Man's Woes



An Old Man's Woes

A sad old man was sitting was on a park bench when along came a police officer. The officer asked the old man why he was so upset.

The old man replied, "Every morning I wake up with a wonderful 20 year old blonde. She cooks great meals including sausage, and bacon and everything I love. Then we make passionate love in bed. Afterwards, she gives me a bath, with handdrawn hot water, cooks me lunch and followed by more passionate love. In the evening, we'll have top the day off with a fantastic diner and yet more wonderful love.

The police officer gets a puzzled look on his face and asks, "Well, what seems to be the problem?"

The old man replied with a sad look on his face, "I can't remember where I live!"