My life has headed down a downwards spiral. Need help!

[Manuel80]

Here is the deal.

Ive been to 4 different High schools. Mainly due to moving, and all that jazz. Now from nov2008- February 2009, I went to a school(In North Carolina), in which I got used to. A group of chicks on my first day of class, approached me, talked to me, wanted to be friends. Sadly due to my social awkwardness, I wasn't able to hold a good conversation, and they soon forgot about me.

It wasn't so bad though. I made a few friends. Went and did track,(made a good amount of "friends" or "acquaintances") and made a "few" really close friends.

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I moved back to New york, and started in a different school. I managed to reconnect with old friends, and I made a good amount of new ones in my different high school.

Junior year, I made a larger amount of friends. I was basically in two- three different groups. Met some REALLY close guys. Hell, people wanted to hang out with ME(which has never happened before). Plus the fact that i had 7-8 periods a day meant that it was easier to make friends/meet people . Now anyone living in New york, knows that there are a good amount of ways to travel(bus, train, car). But yeah, I had a lot of friends in school, not even including my old buddies Ive known for 9+ years. I was going out on weekends with friends to movies/ Manhattan/ the city and all that ****. Having the time of my life.

The bad thing? I moved back to NC, moved to the same school i was in before and now no one seems to remember(or care) about me. when I tried talking to them and if some of them did recognize me, they wouldn't try to keep the convo going. The people i knew(esp my good friends) have no classes with me. I don't have a car(which is pretty much required in NC). I see a lot of people outside just in groups talking. That was me long ago. But now Ive been back to a school where I barely know anyone. People around me pretty much "know" each other, and they tend to stick by their "Groups". Its my last year of HS, but it feels depressing. They go to parties and all that ****, most of them know each other and are good friends, but not me

In my school now, there are people who look like they are in gangs, hanging around the halls. The school looking "ghetto" compared to my old school. Not knowing much people in the school. Pretty much being a loner. I didn't know how bad it was, until i re experienced this feeling again. I was at one of the highest points in my life, where i felt "known", where i started to garner respect and acceptance, but Ive returned to point one.

I don't really know what to do. Back in NY, i could easily hang out with my buddies anywhere. I could go to an event/ do whatever since I wasn't restricted by car. I had a good amount of buddies.I would do track, but I had to stop. I'm trying to gain weight, and when I was doing Track, i was 115 lbs. I'm working out to get bigger/stronger, and if i do track again, it will stop me from my gains.

But not where I live now. The people in my school wont call me up for a driving test till a couple months(finished Drivers ed). I'm pretty limited, hell even with chicks, the odds are stacked against me since I'm limited to knowing them in my school only


Hell, even getting chicks in Ny was " easier" in the way I could have made an effort to travel. MY school there had like 4,000 students. and not even that, but i would be able to travel to places to meet people with a bus/train.


But to move from that all, and go into a state where I barely know people (and could barely travel) has put me down. Even IF i make some friends i my school now, the chances of making a "close" friend is slim to none because I have 4 periods a day. Anyone have any suggestions on what I could do? What would you do in my situation?

[dillingerescp]

That's rough, why all the moving? Dad's job?

Join a highschool team, play an instrument? Join the band. Like theater? Join drama or stage crew. Like swimming? Join the swim team.
Or maybe get a job, you can maybe hit it off with some of your coworkers.
Perhaps just be upfront with people "So whats been happening since I left? Im getting sick of moving around all the time, I miss out on all the NC drama"

I dont know, play it off like that or something.

[selffirst]

Dude your assuming too much....you being to new guy and your history regarding moving and making new friends is basically keeping ya in the same mindset or social limbo...Extend yourself more....You need to go out for a sport.....if you do that ...Bam...brah relationships through team mate friends...if you don't want to do the sports thing...look into other school activities that spike your interest...if you get stroke about photography ....the camera club might be a good fit...a lot of times we see ourselves as the outsider...that in turn hampers how you interact with others cause you lack confidence...People feel that lack of esteem and they want nothing to do with it....Good luck.....Self

[ReedT]

It does have to suck you moving that much. Your life gets all disrupted all the time. You are going to just have to roll with the punches really.

I know this may sound a bit harsh, but honestly? You can't just sit around and mope about the losses you now have. Yeah you had tons of friends back in NY that you were able to make, but you aren't there anymore and you are going to have to deal with the situation. You should try and join some sort of school activity whether its an art, sport or some other type of student group.

Since you've done track before, might I suggest you try soccer or one of the field events like javelin? Alot of the soccer guys at my old high school were built, lean guys, but not real skinny like the track runners and the guys that did the field events were pretty built and strong too since they still trained some with the Track team but their events required much more power.

The one other thing I want to point out to you is the whole being remembered from before when you were at the school previously. If you were perhaps there from the very beginning of November all the way to the end of February, you were there for like 5 months with a BIG gaps in them with Winter Break and Thanksgiving. That is a pretty short amount of time to know somebody and then you left for a LONG time to come back. You can't assume many people will remember you well unless you kept in touch with those few friends you did make some how, like via Facebook or what not.

The balls in your court man. Yeah, you are facing one long as sprint to the other side with defenders a mile high, but standing around and just trying to think of what to do or thinking you can't move on won't help you. If you think there is nothing you can do, then you are going to go nowhere in your present situation. You are going to have to want to change something if you want to actually improve your situation.

[ERTW22]

having just finished high school myself 2 years ago i can really relate to what you are going through, and i know first hand that it is NOT easy at all.

if i was in your situation, i would be thinking positively. no matter what you do in life you need to stay positive and stay motivated because if you dont, then you ARE going to go nowhere. why do you feel like you need to be known? i know thats a weird question, but the only important thing in your life should be yourself. it definitely sucks not being in a clique, and just because you may not be in one right now doesnt mean life ends.

now, im not going to suggest joining the orchestra if you dont love music, but think of the reason you are on this website. you are trying to work out and gain muscle? why not talk to some people in the gym and ask them to spot you? strike up a conversation about exercises/nutrition and meet some new people that way.

IN MY OPINION, as tough of a situation as you are in, i would recommend just "doing your thing" if you know what i mean. dont stress yourself on this other stuff, stay focused on your goals and work towards them. everything else will fall into place accordingly. having said that, there is a fine line between focused and tunnel vision, so try to still seem open and friendly and happy and that will naturally attract other people to you.

the last thing im going to say is just try to be yourself and be natural. dont act natural or pretend what your "natural" is, is something it isnt. BE natural, be YOU. i hate how cliche it sounds, i honestly do. but it is so ****ing important and the worst part is you wont believe me until school is all said and done with. anyways, i really do wish you the best of luck through your pickle here, we are always here at least trying to help.

[Jayo7k]

honestly man, by the time you are done school and all that, most of your friends will be gone anyway. everyone kind of goes their own separate path so i wouldn't worry about it