De-motivated by mirror but not by comments

[Jackslap]

Has that ever happened to you? I've gained some good pounds these past 4 months and I'm really starting to see shape in my shoulders, arms, chest, and legs. I'm really critical on myself however and I've noticed a bit of fat gain around the middle, love handles maybe. It's not bad, and I've posted pictures here with BF estimates around 15-16%.

I was at work the other day when a guy pulled out his iPhone and starts showing pictures of himself to all the girls. He's much smaller than me by about 30 lbs. and a few inches in height. However, he does have probably around 12% BF so he looks MUCH more defined than me. All the girls started going nuts over it, saying his body type is perfect, they don't like a guy who is too big or too ripped.....yada yada yada.

Anyway, I was feeling a bit de-motivated and bummed because I know I have some cutting to do before I can look like him, but I'm not ready to diet down yet. I started getting a negative self image after that, and looking in the mirror too much.

The NEXT day, I just wore a t-shirt to work and had two women I work with tell me that I should wear t-shirts like that more often, I look good.....I also had two guys I work with tell me that they can tell I've been lifting, that I'm looking big etc....

That took away all that negative crap in a snap. That ever happen to you guys/gals?

[BamaBruce]

sorta... lol I mean over the last couple weeks my grandma has told me she could tell id been losing weight but thats about it....

E: on the other hand, as I look in the mirror I feel the opposite :/

[djz227]

Has that ever happened to you? I've gained some good pounds these past 4 months and I'm really starting to see shape in my shoulders, arms, chest, and legs. I'm really critical on myself however and I've noticed a bit of fat gain around the middle, love handles maybe. It's not bad, and I've posted pictures here with BF estimates around 15-16%.

I was at work the other day when a guy pulled out his iPhone and starts showing pictures of himself to all the girls. He's much smaller than me by about 30 lbs. and a few inches in height. However, he does have probably around 12% BF so he looks MUCH more defined than me. All the girls started going nuts over it, saying his body type is perfect, they don't like a guy who is too big or too ripped.....yada yada yada.

Anyway, I was feeling a bit de-motivated and bummed because I know I have some cutting to do before I can look like him, but I'm not ready to diet down yet. I started getting a negative self image after that, and looking in the mirror too much.

The NEXT day, I just wore a t-shirt to work and had two women I work with tell me that I should wear t-shirts like that more often, I look good.....I also had two guys I work with tell me that they can tell I've been lifting, that I'm looking big etc....

That took away all that negative crap in a snap. That ever happen to you guys/gals?

This is about you, not other people. Naturally positive comments make you feel good about yourself and vice versa. Of course not all people have the same ideals either. Some women like a big muscular man and some don't. If you are happy with your progress, keep at it. You might want to keep those "love handles" at a minimum cause they'll be a bitch to lose when you're ready to diet down.
I lost a lot of fat and I've gotten both positive and negative comments.
For example
"You look terrific! How did you do it? Keep it up."
"You lost a lot of weight. Have you been sick?"
I like the way I look and feel, and so does my husband :) so I try my best to ignore the nasties.
Keep working hard. Do it for you.

[BamaBruce]

^what is an example of the negative comments?

[zpm]

just grab your 50-pound friend and do some curls with him in front of those girls.If you can't curl with him, try squats.

[djz227]

^what is an example of the negative comments?

"You lost a lot of weight. Have you been sick?"
Asking if I've been sick sounds more like an insult than a compliment to me. Someone else followed the 1st sentence with "Too much weight. You're too skinny now. How many times did you have to walk around the block to lose all that weight?"
Last week someone told me "You got very skinny, verrrrry skinny!" Her tone of voice & the way she looked at me told me this was not a compliment. I just said "No. Not skinny. LEAN! Take care now. Bye."
What bothers me is these comments are from neighbors/acquaintances and such. Why do people think it's ok to say these things? No one would ever say to anyone "Wow! You gained a lot of weight. Too much!" We all know that's taboo. Anyway I don't let it bother me as much as it used to.
btw: About 6 months after I started my transformation some people who I'm very close to expressed concern that I was losing too much. I didn't like that either but knew they were asking bc they care about me. That's different. And they recently told me they are proud of me keeping it off and still working out.

[BamaBruce]

"You lost a lot of weight. Have you been sick?"
Asking if I've been sick sounds more like an insult than a compliment to me. Someone else followed the 1st sentence with "Too much weight. You're too skinny now. How many times did you have to walk around the block to lose all that weight?"
Last week someone told me "You got very skinny, verrrrry skinny!" Her tone of voice & the way she looked at me told me this was not a compliment. I just said "No. Not skinny. LEAN! Take care now. Bye."
What bothers me is these comments are from neighbors/acquaintances and such. Why do people think it's ok to say these things? No one would ever say to anyone "Wow! You gained a lot of weight. Too much!" We all know that's taboo. Anyway I don't let it bother me as much as it used to.
btw: About 6 months after I started my transformation some people who I'm very close to expressed concern that I was losing too much. I didn't like that either but knew they were asking bc they care about me. That's different. And they recently told me they are proud of me keeping it off and still working out.

Ah ok, well hey at least they noticed you're losing, I suppose. If nothing else- use it as motivation! BTW, how did u lose that weight? Just lots of cardio? Keto? JW, as 'm on a cut and tips don't hurt at all lol

[djz227]

Ah ok, well hey at least they noticed you're losing, I suppose. If nothing else- use it as motivation! BTW, how did u lose that weight? Just lots of cardio? Keto? JW, as 'm on a cut and tips don't hurt at all lol

Thx. It's an obvious difference. I started Oct 2008 and was shredded by the end of June 2009. :) It wasn't exactly keto but mostly hi protein, very lo carbs, no alcohol. I was very diligent. No cheat meals. Luckily I never plateaued but that could be bc I did cheat, food & alcohol, on special occasions like Thanksgiving, Chanukah, New Year's Eve.
I was doing full body workouts 3X a week and cardio 3X a week. Sunday day off.
Good luck on your cut. Stay focused on the end product. :)

[BamaBruce]

^thanks! YEah I think my biggest trouble is the cheat meal- I tend to want to cheat too much... guess imma have to start playing mind games wth myself

[6InchPen]

^thanks! YEah I think my biggest trouble is the cheat meal- I tend to want to cheat too much... guess imma have to start playing mind games wth myself

every time you start thinking bout cheatin its cause your hungry. Throw some bananas, fruit, protein, milk, yogurt in a blender and gulp that down. You will be full and then your cravings will stop at least for the time being. do this any time your about to give in.

[Layziegtp]

The mirror isn't nice to me. But yesterday, I saw my uncle for the first time in 3-4 weeks, he commented that I was looking very sveldt. Haha, sveldt.

[DoomMetalDarryl]

"You lost a lot of weight. Have you been sick?"
Asking if I've been sick sounds more like an insult than a compliment to me. Someone else followed the 1st sentence with "Too much weight. You're too skinny now. How many times did you have to walk around the block to lose all that weight?"
Last week someone told me "You got very skinny, verrrrry skinny!" Her tone of voice & the way she looked at me told me this was not a compliment. I just said "No. Not skinny. LEAN! Take care now. Bye."
What bothers me is these comments are from neighbors/acquaintances and such. Why do people think it's ok to say these things? No one would ever say to anyone "Wow! You gained a lot of weight. Too much!" We all know that's taboo. Anyway I don't let it bother me as much as it used to.
btw: About 6 months after I started my transformation some people who I'm very close to expressed concern that I was losing too much. I didn't like that either but knew they were asking bc they care about me. That's different. And they recently told me they are proud of me keeping it off and still working out.

DJZ, do you think those comments are borne out of jealousy? Some people don't want to see us better ourselves (esp. physically), because it brings to light their 'sitting-around-ness'.
"If we're all fat & lazy together, then that makes it OK."

[terry917]

You posted this in May, am wondering how you feel today?


Has that ever happened to you? I've gained some good pounds these past 4 months and I'm really starting to see shape in my shoulders, arms, chest, and legs. I'm really critical on myself however and I've noticed a bit of fat gain around the middle, love handles maybe. It's not bad, and I've posted pictures here with BF estimates around 15-16%.

I was at work the other day when a guy pulled out his iPhone and starts showing pictures of himself to all the girls. He's much smaller than me by about 30 lbs. and a few inches in height. However, he does have probably around 12% BF so he looks MUCH more defined than me. All the girls started going nuts over it, saying his body type is perfect, they don't like a guy who is too big or too ripped.....yada yada yada.

Anyway, I was feeling a bit de-motivated and bummed because I know I have some cutting to do before I can look like him, but I'm not ready to diet down yet. I started getting a negative self image after that, and looking in the mirror too much.

The NEXT day, I just wore a t-shirt to work and had two women I work with tell me that I should wear t-shirts like that more often, I look good.....I also had two guys I work with tell me that they can tell I've been lifting, that I'm looking big etc....

That took away all that negative crap in a snap. That ever happen to you guys/gals?