View Full Version : Very serious problem with my girlfriend
05-02-2003, 10:42 PM
I just learned that my girlfriend has some kind of mild eating disorder. This came as a terrible shock to me, and I want nothing in the world other than her to be better. She really, seriously thinks that this is the best way to go about losing weight! I come here asking for your help, in the form of good, informational websites. I would send her to this forum, but it would be too intimidating for her, with pictures of bodybuilders and flaming going on, etc.. So please, I ask for websites that outline very basic weight loss/working out/ dieting specifically for women. I've tried searching with Google, but all I can find is crap scam sites that sell supplements, and that's the last thing I need her looking at.
05-03-2003, 12:56 AM
Littlekid, I do not think your girlfriend will find any problems here. There are several women, here, who gave similar stories of having gone through eating disorders as well. Found it was the wrong thing to do and changing their direction.
As for bodybuilding images being intimidating, yes...they can be. But also they can be viewed as inspirations too. Everything starts in incretments to begin with and no one picks up a barbell and voile', is "ripped". I have noticed the "Bowflex" commericals have stopped using "ripped" athletes and now using actual people as models.
Women start lifting for many reasons. To lose weight, to gain weight and to maintain weight. To gain strength, energy, as therapy after an illness or injury, getting back in shape after a pregnancy, overall better health after menopause and more. They begin at all ages too, as you can see. Yes, there are competitive women bodybuilders who post here and have been very helpful with all newbies. No outsized egos here....just alot of enthusiasim and encouragement no matter what your goals are.
Here is a beginning lifting program, MsFit posted for a son whose mother was just starting:
Pretty basic routine, really. Hope these words help.
05-03-2003, 10:05 AM
Oh ya, also a little background info on her. We're both in high school. She's 17, ~5'5" and 125 pounds. It's not terribly serious, but it still needs to get better.
05-03-2003, 03:08 PM
what excatly does she do does she throw up her food or does she starv herself for days ?
05-03-2003, 10:19 PM
Apparently so....she's very secretive about it and won't tell me much, but I know it's a mix of bulemia and anorexia.
05-04-2003, 06:11 AM
oh man this all it's to close to home. i have had my share of problems with food. started when i was 17 too. i have had to deal with bulimia for 1 year. it was a battle between the binges and purging the laxative abuse and the depression. at first it didn't seem to bad then it takes a life on it's own and before u know it it controls u. this is something ur gf is going to regret later in life if she wasn't already. by coming clean to u she is making the first step into saying that she may want help and needs someone to talk. bulimics are very secretive and become good liars over time. how long as she been doing all this. by her telling u that she is like this or that she does this she is in a away saying that she wants help. even though she meant refuse it at first and may say nothing is wrong and that she can control it and just stop. well news flash as many times as u tell urself u can stop it and that u control it u are lying to urself i am sorry to say that no bulimia is a desease know of us can control a desseas sure we can seek help and medication and work towards getting rid of the problem but by doing it my urself i am sorry to say it am be impossilble. see bulimia is something that ur mind controls even if u want to stop and not purge it's like something insided u is saying and making u feel guilty inside and that is what makes u do this. millions apon millions of females have or have had bulimia , with bulimia there are alot of risks like heart attacks sudden death cardiac arrest espharges problem as well as hearty problem also wrotten teeth the list goes on, dig up info on the side effects and tell her about them i am sure they will at least make her think twice they did for me. also please help but also keep ur gf thrust at the same time she has a a problem and just like any problem peopel don';t want the world to know about it take her to someone u both can thrust like a teacher consellor . they will help as well as keep everything confindental good luck and i hope everything turns out good for ur gf
05-04-2003, 10:20 AM
She's a junior now, and has been doign it "off and on" since freshman year. I've told her that what she needs to do is learn how to lose weight and diet the healthy way....I've even offered to pay for her to go to a personal trainer, but she seems to think that purging/not eating is the only way to do it. I'm totally at a loss for things to do, and she is very strongly against seeing a doctor or any other sort of professional help.... I've already found sites telling about the side effects including the heart, teeth problems, and all the rest.
05-05-2003, 03:41 PM
Just print out articles for her to read. Maybe information is all she needs to stop, and see that she can get better....FASTER results, and be healthy at the same time. When I was that age and didnt know anything about anything I thought ok, dont put food in and there is no problem, you see results within days and think its great. Lo and behold you gain weight back faster then you took it off. A little bit of information can go a long way. Try not to make her feel like a leper though, just point out how "proffesionals" do it properly, and how they can maintain it. There are many many articles on cutting on this site.
05-23-2003, 10:12 AM
Are you the only one that knows about her problem? Do her parents know? They need to, because someone needs to do something about this besides finding a different way for her to diet. This is an emotional problem that needs a real solution, not another way of losing weight.
She NEEDS to see a professional about this, and frankly at 5'5' and 125 lbs., she needs to learn that she doesn't need to lose weight.
05-23-2003, 11:49 AM
I'm speaking as someone who went thru this for 12 years. you think you are in control of it then all of a sudden it controls you. It's not fun when years later you wish you had never done that first purge.
Somethign very serious is wrong with her. I used to tell people it was about losing weight but it wasn't. It was how i delt with my emotions and things I felt I couldn't express and my fear of not being perfect. It gets all jumbloed together. Until you sit down and start sorting it out and come up with better alternatives. that's what recovery is all about. Let me also put this in perspective for you. There is NO such thing as a mild eating disorder. If she is purging, she could DIE! I'm not saying that to scare you, I"m saying that becuz it's the truth.
I almost myself during times I said I was in a MILD case. Purging throws off your electrolites and at anytime her heart could stop. She could have a heart attack during ANY purge. She could tear her esophogus or she could get throat cancer from all the build up of stomach acid or worst case..her stomach could rupture and she could bleed to death.
Bulimia is very dangerous. It's centered around lies and secrets. You don't know everything she's doing. My guess is, her telling you is a way of testing you. To see how you're going to handle it. She wants help and know's something is wrong but she's afraid. Your only job here, is to stand by her and support her. It's not to fix her. If her parents don't know, you need to make them aware. If she's scared...offer to go to o a clinic with her. There are places that will see you at a sliding scale. But she DOES need help and this is very serious.