View Full Version : To stay or not to stay? O/T
jellodirt
10-23-2009, 11:01 AM
This past week a co-worker was arrested for stealing. He was taking things like lawn mowers, snowcats, etc. and then selling them. It will be easily over $100,000 worth of property when it's all said and done.
I can't help but think about his wife and two daughters as this was obviously a shock to them. Anyway, my question is how would you handle this if it were your spouse? Remember when you answer this you had no idea any of this was going on and all of a sudden the cops show up and start hauling away property.
I'll include the link if anyone is interested. It's not that exciting of a read...
http://www.trftimes.com/news/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=7620:trf-officer-to-face-felonies&catid=13:front
HeatherAC
10-23-2009, 11:18 AM
Is it so very wrong that I'm completely cracking up over the name of the town? Thief River Falls???? Seems kind of appropriate.
What an idiot......he should know better, especially in a small town where people are bound to talk and connect the dots.
No, I'd not choose to stay with such an idiot.
bluerenault
10-23-2009, 11:23 AM
Difficult to answer, it depends if there was an underlying problem, or just plain selfish greed.
thomashenry
10-23-2009, 01:06 PM
Lets see ! clear conscious choice as to Violating the Law, Jeopardizing your children and spouse`s welfare,, not too mention the example being set for your Children, & being of age as to know the difference between right & wrong, and the consequences of an individuals actions in a civil society !
I would say SEE YA "right now" and enjoy your new surroundings {in other words your Fu&%#d}
Almost anyone can be fooled, and there may be a reason the spouse can live with.
This reminds me of the pre-employ psyche tests that ask stuff like: If you worked with your mother and caught her stealing would you turn her in? Well, I wouldn't hire any douche bag that would turn in his own mother.
You stand by spouse and family, no matter what (well, unless we're talking a history of similar/same repeated actions on their part).
Wayne Evans
10-23-2009, 01:42 PM
This past week a co-worker was arrested for stealing. He was taking things like lawn mowers, snowcats, etc. and then selling them. It will be easily over $100,000 worth of property when it's all said and done.
I can't help but think about his wife and two daughters as this was obviously a shock to them. Anyway, my question is how would you handle this if it were your spouse? Remember when you answer this you had no idea any of this was going on and all of a sudden the cops show up and start hauling away property.
I'll include the link if anyone is interested. It's not that exciting of a read...
http://www.trftimes.com/news/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=7620:trf-officer-to-face-felonies&catid=13:front
Hmm....I'll hastily chime in.
My spouse?
The party/marriage would be over....trust is out the window and the character flaw would not work for me.
I'll qualify and say that I do not have kids and understand the complexities with this in the mix.
The deeds were intentional and the adult knew better but thought (like all criminals) he would not get caught in the greed fest.
Feliz Viernes to all.....
cozener
10-23-2009, 01:46 PM
See...here's my thing about dirty cops.
The police are the good guys. They adhere to a certain code of honor and they're held to a higher standard. I've always had much admiration for the police. As far as I'm concerned the only kind of scum thats worse than a cop killer is a dirty cop. Little kids (and adults like me) look up to them. When I see one of these people using their office to do such things its a grand betrayal of everything I want to think about the people that carry a badge. If my wife were a police officer and it was discovered that she was doing this I'd be absolutely crushed and I'm sure our kids would be too. I mean, I'd be fiercely proud of my wife if she were a cop (not that I'm not anyway but I'm sure you know what I mean) and the shame from finding out that she betrayed everything that her badge stood for would be hard to deal with. She would have brought untold shame down upon our family. Imagine what those kids would be facing at school...how her actions would taint their own reputations. I think I'd not only not stand by her but I'd probably move my family far away from that place.
But my wife isn't a cop.
markymark69
10-23-2009, 01:57 PM
If it was my wife:
I would ask her..where the hell is all the money at.
In all seriousness though, I would probably do everything I could to keep her from going to prison or at least mitigate the damages.
Spouses/parents/kids make really bad mistakes sometimes...do you turn your back on them?
Atropa
10-23-2009, 02:04 PM
I
Spouses/parents/kids make really bad mistakes sometimes...do you turn your back on them?
A mistake is oops honey I walked out of the store without paying for this bag of apples, what this guy did is a royal f*ckup, so yes I would indeed turn my back on him.
Wayne Evans
10-23-2009, 02:08 PM
\
Spouses/parents/kids make really bad mistakes sometimes...do you turn your back on them?
I respect your right to choose this opinion but this deed(s) was not a 'mistake'....IMO.
I'm off work so a good weekend to all..
jellodirt
10-23-2009, 02:11 PM
See...here's my thing about dirty cops.
Most cops would agree with you and there is a feeling of betrayal on our part but I can't imagine the humiliation his family is going through. Don’t worry he’ll get his, cops never get the deals that everyone else gets when they stand before the man.
I didn't open/read the link, but let me share a real life example. In the late 90's, an airline employee I knew was arrested by the FBI. Tommy had been stealing U.S. mail (most airlines have govt contracts to transport U.S. mail) for a couple of years while doing "the mail run." I think he was maybe early 30's then and was well known for always selling his kid's candy bars for fund raisers. He was also "known" as a guy who was lucky to hit the Cash 3 lottery numbers quite a bit. No wonder.....he was buying hundreds of dollars worth of Cash 3 tickets every day.
It also turns out that Tommy had been renting a storage building (typical 1-car garage size) off airport property. This is where he'd take the mail to open it and pilfer checks and cash, etc... When the FBI raided this storage room, they reported that it was over knee deep in empty envelopes! It was reported that he stole upwards of $500,000!
But here's the kicker; Tommy had two children with disabilities, and he wasn't able to afford the things he wanted them to have to make their lives better. And if memory serves me, he cut a deal and received 5yrs in federal prison. For half a million? That would tempt a lot of folks. So yeah, most of us thought he got off way too easy, but the point is that there's always a story behind the story. Truth be told, I figure he had a gambling problem more than believing he was desperately doing it all for his kids. But either way....... I seriously doubt that Tommy's wife and kids walked away from him.
user94984100999
10-23-2009, 02:23 PM
i would be in shock for sure,i wouldnt know what to do.......
...Kennedy
10-23-2009, 02:29 PM
That Kezar guy is an idiot for sure, but I'm surprised at the premise of the thread. His wife either knew about it, meaning she accepted it, or she didn't, meaning she's either ignorant, dull, or perhaps a combination of both.
If my wife murdered someone, I wouldn't leave her, I'd help get rid of the body. ;)
That Kezar guy is an idiot for sure, but I'm surprised at the premise of the thread. His wife either knew about it, meaning she accepted it, or she didn't, meaning she's either ignorant, dull, or perhaps a combination of both.
If my wife murdered someone, I wouldn't leave her, I'd help get rid of the body. ;)
And take everything you hear or read in media with a grain of salt. I still have a newspaper clipping...(or two :o ) from when I was a teen. If you didn't know me, you'd have thought they arrested John Dillinger all over again by reading the newspaper's account of events. Seriously, it was an early lesson in media accuracy that was more valuable than I could ever have known at the time, and it has served me well ever since to remember it.
IronCharles
10-23-2009, 02:52 PM
That Kezar guy is an idiot for sure, but I'm surprised at the premise of the thread. His wife either knew about it, meaning she accepted it, or she didn't, meaning she's either ignorant, dull, or perhaps a combination of both.
If my wife murdered someone, I wouldn't leave her, I'd help get rid of the body. ;)
This is the way it should be. You make that pact with your mate, honor it. "In sickness and in health, until stupidity do you part"? No. If you rushed into a marriage without realizing your potential spouse had a drug / gambling / anger / STEALING problem, whose fault is that? If you know so little about the person you are vowing to spend the rest of your life with, maybe you're getting what you deserve.
On the other hand, if you are realizing this isn't the right person for you, you made a mistake, the guy cheated on you, beats you, sex was great for about a month and now it's nonexistent, or maybe you are just tired of his farting / snoring / refusing to put his plate in the dishwasher, well....... here's your chance! "OMG, my husband is a thief! My family's honor is in ruins! How can I possibly stay! (*See ya, sucker! Now I can run off with the guy who's been doing that special thing to me that you refuse to do! :D)
Moral of this whole story is...... everything is not always as it seems to be. What we see, or are allowed to see, may just be the tip of an iceberg hundreds of feet deep.
Minotaur
10-23-2009, 03:38 PM
Well, I wouldn't hire any douche bag that would turn in his own mother.
I've been told that I'm such a cold bastard that if I did become a cop I would probably write my own mother a ticket.
I said I most certainly would not! I'm not that much of a douchebag!
I'd give her a warning and a severe dressing down, though. :D
In all seriousness, when my stupid ass s-i-l was dealing weed, we knew it. We told her to stop; we warned her. But we didn't dime her out. She got greedy enough to get herself busted. So when I was called up for grand jury duty, the assignment judge asked if any of us had a family member who ever had trouble with the law. My hand goes up. "Approach the bench, sir". We spoke confidentially, and told the judge we knew and warned her but didn't turn her in. Apparently that was good enough for him because he smiled and thanked me for my honesty and said to return to my place on the jury. I felt sure he was going to chew me out for "aiding and abetting" and being an accomplice. But it was apparently not an issue.
jsmircich
10-23-2009, 03:38 PM
I would have questioned where my husband was getting thousands of dollars worth of equipment and maybe than it wouldn't have gotten to this point at all. I think it would depend on circumstances: mental illness I'd stay as long he received treatment. Greed, inability to make changes/take responsibility, continued negative/anti-social behavior I would have to consider leaving.
crupiea
10-23-2009, 03:44 PM
Hi wife never noticed brand new lawn mowers and snowcats in the garage?
I find that hard to believe even for the dumbest person.
She most likely knew about it and looked the other way becasue money was coming in.
Its easy to rationalize these sort of things.
May not be a fact but its something to think about.
jellodirt
10-23-2009, 04:06 PM
His wife either knew about it, meaning she accepted it, or she didn't, meaning she's either ignorant, dull, or perhaps a combination of both.
She had no idea. He told her that he was buying the stuff cheap off the internet and reselling it. My wife said she wouldn't have thought anything was up. Most wives don't get that involved in their husbands hobbies/side jobs which are common for cops to have.
hochspeyer
10-23-2009, 11:38 PM
Just curious as to what they will discover from the wireless router that they seized.
...Kennedy
10-24-2009, 09:05 AM
She had no idea. He told her that he was buying the stuff cheap off the internet and reselling it. My wife said she wouldn't have thought anything was up. Most wives don't get that involved in their husbands hobbies/side jobs which are common for cops to have.
I guess everyone lives differently. I run most business ideas by my wife first. She is smarter than I am, and doing this has saved/made us some $$$.
chodan9
10-24-2009, 04:29 PM
And take everything you hear or read in media with a grain of salt. I still have a newspaper clipping...(or two :o )
just 2 huh? ;)
small towns are notorious for getting stuff wrong, after I cleaned up my act there was another person in town with my name and every time he got in the paper for screwing up everyone thought I had relapsed into my old bad behaviors heh heh.
to the OP, I would have to say every case is different, you may or may not be able to make or break a marriage based off of one incident (even an epically stupid one)