JOHN GARGANI
09-05-2008, 04:43 AM
I have basically lived though 3 weeks of intense emotional hell, as my lovely Mother, who had the most healthy life that anyone could ever hope for, finally succumbed in a rapid fashion to a series of events, that, would not have been quite as bad, but was, due to the incredible bull**** of having to deal with todays Medical situation with Hospitals and Doctors.
I won't go into the endless details of all that, but, rather, talk about a very amazing life, and not because she was mine.
My Mother had not been in a hospital since she gave birth to me, at the age of 34, and for 58 years, up until last fall, she lived a medication and pain free life that would be the envy of all: no BP medication, no lipitor, no anything that so many people take...no arthritis...able to walk anywhere, any distance, driving ( the day before her hosp. admission, she was driving)....living in her own house, managing all of her own financial affairs with no problems whatsoever.....
And since my Dad had died 20 years ago, she had to do this last stretch by herself and managed quite nicely indeed.
But the person: we are talking about a person that everyone looked up to, a person that had to be a surrogate Mother to everyone in the family: as I was growing up, there was always an endless procession of cousins coming to my house to speak to "Aunt Laura": " Aunt Laura: my Father said this to me, or I can't say this to my Mother, or, my boyfriend did this, or my wife or husband said that"........MAN! I had to hear it all! LOL.......But my Mother had this amazing approachability and kind and gentle communication and advice, of which they all felt more comfortable with than their own parents for whatever reason.
Consequently, my Mother was a legend of a sort, within my family. Everyone wanted to be with her, talk to her, etc and so on........
Despite that competition, she was able to be the best Mother one could hope for to my Sister and I, as, in some crazy way, she was able to be everyone else's Mother without taking away an iota from us.
Even my Wife, Barbara: from after I married her, if she needed Mother/Daughter type of advice or talk, would go straight to my Mother instead of her own! LOL......
But: in spite of this energetic and healthy life, of which she volunteered and particpated in everything under the sun and went everywhere you possibly could: of which in spite of working a very tough job as a seamstress back when they didn't all have air conditioning, she was always learning something new, always going to some sort of night classes.
How about this: she loved to cut hair: so she went at night for years to take up Beautician school, finished, passed the license test and never worked a day of her life as a beautician: simply wanted to do it for the fun of it!
In fact, just a month before she took ill, she had just completed 6 weeks of INTERNET TRAINING!!! at the age of 92.....My Mother has a laptop in her house with high speed internet!
In spite of all of this life and vitality, and never looking her age at all: inside, I guess we all age, and when she started out with what was Renal failure 3 weeks ago, it led to a cascading series of events of which she was not surprised at all and very accepting of, due to her nature, but of which we couldn't understand and had to battle the Doctors over for the last 3 weeks......
Finally, the last two days, she was in Calvary Hospital, now unconscious, and ready to breathe her last.
WELL: between endless hosp hours, and trying to keep my office together amidst this, much in my life has had to take a backseat, including working out.
The work isn't over, because now we have to plan the funeral and then my Sister and I have the unenviable task of settling the whole estate and all that nonsense....
So what can we learn from all of this: what we all know anyway: that we have to treasure every day of life and love that we do have here, as I am sure most of you are already aware.
And that AGE is a bitch and Father Time is a tough opponent, so that we have to maximize what we do in our life as much as we can , when we can.
My Mother certainly did that.....
I won't go into the endless details of all that, but, rather, talk about a very amazing life, and not because she was mine.
My Mother had not been in a hospital since she gave birth to me, at the age of 34, and for 58 years, up until last fall, she lived a medication and pain free life that would be the envy of all: no BP medication, no lipitor, no anything that so many people take...no arthritis...able to walk anywhere, any distance, driving ( the day before her hosp. admission, she was driving)....living in her own house, managing all of her own financial affairs with no problems whatsoever.....
And since my Dad had died 20 years ago, she had to do this last stretch by herself and managed quite nicely indeed.
But the person: we are talking about a person that everyone looked up to, a person that had to be a surrogate Mother to everyone in the family: as I was growing up, there was always an endless procession of cousins coming to my house to speak to "Aunt Laura": " Aunt Laura: my Father said this to me, or I can't say this to my Mother, or, my boyfriend did this, or my wife or husband said that"........MAN! I had to hear it all! LOL.......But my Mother had this amazing approachability and kind and gentle communication and advice, of which they all felt more comfortable with than their own parents for whatever reason.
Consequently, my Mother was a legend of a sort, within my family. Everyone wanted to be with her, talk to her, etc and so on........
Despite that competition, she was able to be the best Mother one could hope for to my Sister and I, as, in some crazy way, she was able to be everyone else's Mother without taking away an iota from us.
Even my Wife, Barbara: from after I married her, if she needed Mother/Daughter type of advice or talk, would go straight to my Mother instead of her own! LOL......
But: in spite of this energetic and healthy life, of which she volunteered and particpated in everything under the sun and went everywhere you possibly could: of which in spite of working a very tough job as a seamstress back when they didn't all have air conditioning, she was always learning something new, always going to some sort of night classes.
How about this: she loved to cut hair: so she went at night for years to take up Beautician school, finished, passed the license test and never worked a day of her life as a beautician: simply wanted to do it for the fun of it!
In fact, just a month before she took ill, she had just completed 6 weeks of INTERNET TRAINING!!! at the age of 92.....My Mother has a laptop in her house with high speed internet!
In spite of all of this life and vitality, and never looking her age at all: inside, I guess we all age, and when she started out with what was Renal failure 3 weeks ago, it led to a cascading series of events of which she was not surprised at all and very accepting of, due to her nature, but of which we couldn't understand and had to battle the Doctors over for the last 3 weeks......
Finally, the last two days, she was in Calvary Hospital, now unconscious, and ready to breathe her last.
WELL: between endless hosp hours, and trying to keep my office together amidst this, much in my life has had to take a backseat, including working out.
The work isn't over, because now we have to plan the funeral and then my Sister and I have the unenviable task of settling the whole estate and all that nonsense....
So what can we learn from all of this: what we all know anyway: that we have to treasure every day of life and love that we do have here, as I am sure most of you are already aware.
And that AGE is a bitch and Father Time is a tough opponent, so that we have to maximize what we do in our life as much as we can , when we can.
My Mother certainly did that.....